Taking Back Life
by My writing is this
Summary: Death is an ending. Death is a beginning. With Evy's death comes pain and heartache for more than one. Life had changed. Some things must be overcome. Some must be finished. But the story is far from over. Much more needs to be done.
1. Prologue

_**Prologue**_

Life had been anything but a walk in the park. Death was supposed to be peaceful. Having experienced both was something I wasn't ready for. It was unexpected and terrifying. A reality all too real to wrap my head around. I was torn between depression and serenity. Knowing what I had lost and learning what I'd gained. With that said, here are the facts, so to speak. Fact one, I'm dead. The kind you don't get up from. The real dead. The kind where you get buried in a casket wearing an outfit you never would have picked if you had had a choice. It was ridiculous that I was dead. I can drown and I can be killed by a vengeful spirit but I didn't think that it would actually happen. I had actually died. So, I'm in heaven. My own version of it. Fact two…the fact that I don't know. My boys? I don't know what happened to them. John? I have no idea. I can only pray that he's alive. Able to take care of his sons. Dean will need him. So will Sammy. All three of them were in the place where I died. We were all there but I'm the only one here. I'm in heaven while they linger on earth. I can feel them from time to time. I can feel them but can't place what's happening to them. I can only hope they are okay. Fact three, the demon is still on the loose and I am useless against him. I can only hope that my boys can kill him in time. It's amazing how much time I've had to think about all of it. Everything I've lost, but I've also gained. Cooper is with me. I have my dog back and that has made all the difference, I think. I've never been alone. Not only is Cooper here but Jim as well. He stops by every now and again. He's just as I remember him but he is no longer the center of my life…or my afterlife. The feelings we shared before he died didn't carry over to my heaven. There is still only one man for me and he resides on earth. So much happened in my life that now that I think about it, it wasn't as short as I had thought it to be. I met so many wonderful people. Saved them from the evil that walks the earth. I had played my part. Even though it felt like my part wasn't over. There was a feeling that was constantly in the back of my mind. Something telling me that I still had a purpose. I had something left to give. It was just going to take me a while to see it.

* * *

The demon was gone. They were momentarily safe. The man the demon was possessing was on the ground. Shocked by what he had done. Sam relaxed before leaning back against the seat.

"Dad?" He asked, weak from the accident. "Dad?" He asked more urgently. "Dean?" He asked his panic growing. "Dean!" He yelled. No one responded to him. "Evy!" He yelled. All three of them remained silent. "Evy…Dean…" He said as his eyes welled with tears.

An ambulance had been called and with it came daylight. A helicopter was heard as it came to airlift his family to the nearest hospital. Sam still remained the only one conscious as they carefully took his father, brother, and friend from the car.

"Tell me if they're okay?" Sam asked one of the paramedics who was carrying his stretcher.

"You have to stay still." She told him.

"Are they even alive?" Sam asked her.

_Did I disappoint you?_

_Or let you down._

_Should I be feeling guilty?_

_And let the judges frown?_

From the corner of his eye he could see Evy on a stretcher. They weren't taking her to the helicopter. In fact, little was being done. His stomach turned as he witnessed them pulling a black bag from an ambulance.

"Wait…wait!" He said trying to lift himself from the stretcher. "What are they doing to her? Is she okay? Wait!" He yelled fighting against them.

"You need to stay still!" The paramedic told him.

"No! Tell me if she's okay!"

It was obvious what was happening. She wasn't moving. She was pale and the way they were looking at her. He knew she was gone.

_'Cause I saw the end before we'd begun,  
Yes I saw you were blinded and I knew I had won.  
So I took what's mine by eternal right.  
Took your soul out into the night.  
It may be over but it won't stop there,  
I am here for you if you'd only care._

"I'm sorry, Dean. I am so sorry." Sam told his brother.

"You're lying." Dean frowned at his brother.

"Dean…" Sam said with wet eyes.

"Where is she?" Dean said with his eyes closed.

"Dean…please." Sam practically whispered to him.

"Where is she?" Dean yelled leaning toward his brother.

_You touched my heart._

_You touched my soul._

_You changed my life and all my goals._

_And love is blind and that I knew when,_

_My heart was blinded by you._

Sam sat in the chair next to his brother's bed. "She's dead, Dean." He repeated. "I'm sorry."

"Where is she?" Dean asked for a third time. His voice calmer then before.

"I didn't have a choice. Something needed to be done." Sam told him. "I had her buried just after the accident. I made a day trip to San Diego. Figured she'd want to be there."

Dean just looked at him unbelievingly. He rested his head back against the bed, not looking at his brother. "Does dad know?" He asked. Sam nodded. "How's he doing?"

"He's taking it hard." Sam replied. "Though you're taking it better then I thought you would."

"What am I supposed to do, Sammy?" He frowned at his brother. "Do you want me to fly off the handle? Start breaking things. What do you want me to do?" He yelled, tears in his eyes. "I'm not even sure I believe you." He stated and closed his eyes, tears rolling from the corners.

_I've kissed your lips and held your hand._

_Shared your dreams and shared your bed._

_I know you well, I know your smell._

_I've been addicted to you._

The wind blew against him as he stood in front of what remained of his life. He traced the words carved into the stone. He held a dozen roses in his hands but couldn't bear to put them down.

_Goodbye my lover. Goodbye my friend._

_You have been the one. You have been the one for me_

_Goodbye my lover. Goodbye my friend._

_You have been the one. You have been the one for me._

"This can't be happening." He whispered to the stone. He knelt down, putting his hand against it. "This isn't the way it was supposed to be. I just got you back. I can't handle losing you again. Not again…"

_I am a dreamer and when I wake,_

_You can't break my spirit – it's my dreams you take_

_And as you move on, remember me. _

_Remember us and all we used to be._

"I'll save you. Even if it kills me, I'll save you. I'll bring you back." He told the stone. "I was ready to spend my life with you. I was ready to be the man you needed me to be. We were so close to killing that son of a bitch. We were so close." He repeated. "I just wanted to give you everything you needed. Everything that you wanted."

_I've seen you cry, I've seen you smile._

_I've watched you sleeping for a while._

_I'd be the father of your child._

_I'd spend a lifetime with you._

"I was a fool once. I was ready to prove everything to you. You changed me, Evy. You made me better then I ever thought I could be. I was just a killing machine. I made the job my life. Taking women to bed without attachment. Without caring. Then I met you." He said and grinned.

_I know your fears and you know mine._

_We've had our doubts but now we're fine._

_And I love you, I swear that's true._

_I cannot live without you._

"You were nothing like I expected. I was ready to hate you. You took my dad. Made him care about you in ways I had wished he would have cared for me. But now he's gone too." He said and frowned. "I didn't want anything to do with you. But you grew on me. You made me feel things I've never felt before." He smiled and paused before his smile disappeared. "I'm not ready to let you go."

_Goodbye my lover. Goodbye my friend._

_You have been the one. You have been the one for me._

_Goodbye my lover. Goodbye my friend._

_You have been the one. You have been the one for me._

"I miss you, Evy." He said as tears welled. "I miss you so much. I didn't know I could feel this way. The pain that's eating away at me. I can't do it. I shouldn't have to do this." He said and wiped his face with his hand. "You shouldn't have been taking care of me. You should have been sitting back, your seatbelt on. I was supposed to take care of you."

_And I still hold your hand in mine._

_In mine when I'm asleep._

"I see you everywhere." He said tracing her name. "I hear your voice but every time I try to go to you it turns out to be someone else. I dream about you. I can feel you and all I want is your lips against mine."

_And I will bear my soul, in time,_

_When I'm kneeling at your feet._

"I don't want to live without you. I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you. The way you look at me. Your tenderness, your…" He said unable to go on. "I love you…so much." He said the wetness back in his eyes. He placed the roses against the stone.

_Goodbye my lover. Goodbye my friend._

_You have been the one. You have been the one for me._

_Goodbye my lover. Goodbye my friend._

_You have been the one. You have been the one for me._

"I'll never forget you. You'll never be far from my mind." He said getting to his feet.

_I'm so hollow baby, I'm so hollow. _

_I'm so, I'm so, I'm so hollow…_

"I'll be seeing you. Maybe sooner then you think. I love you. I _love _you."

He turned away from the headstone. Sam was waiting by the car. He didn't say anything as they got back into it. They lingered only a short while longer before pulling out of the cemetery.

* * *

Flowers blown, they grow, then they die. The clouds cover the blue sky. They make shapes. Shapes that I wished I couldn't see. His face was everywhere. I couldn't escape it. Heaven was supposed to be happiness but instead it just fed off of my mind and emotions. Making me remember everything that was painful. I wanted to remember but it was so new. I didn't want to have such a strong reminder of what I had lost. A reminder of what I could no longer have. The man I loved, the life I wanted…it was all out of reach. I closed my eyes and let the feeling flow from me. Hearing his voice barely a whisper on the breeze.

"I love you too." I whispered and opened my eyes. A new wave of perfectly bloomed flowers in front of me.


	2. Left Behind

**Disclaimer: Anything from Supernatural is not mine.**

**A/N: Here is the next chapter. I hope you'll enjoy it. It's exciting to have moved on to the next season. I really do hope you'll all enjoy this progression of this one. Happy reading! Reviews are awesome! =]**

* * *

_**Chapter Two: Left Behind**_

The sun had set some time ago but he still stared out the window. She wasn't coming back, but there was something inside of him that kept waiting for it. Waiting for her to walk from the shadows and return to him. He pinched the bridge of his nose as his weariness started to set in. Soon he heard footsteps and Sam appeared at his side. He sighed but didn't look at his brother.

"You need to get some sleep." Sam told his brother.

"I'm fine." Dean told him.

"You're not fine." Sam stated.

"Sure I am, Sammy." Dean replied blinking as he shifted his weight.

"You're angry. I get that." Sam told him.

"Sam." Dean said raising his voice. "I don't want to talk about it."

"Dean, you need to talk about it." Sam said sympathetically.

"No, I don't." Dean said shortly.

"You're not the only one who lost something." Sam told him, no longer sympathetic.

"Just leave me alone, Sam." Dean told him.

"Damn it, Dean!" He said grabbing his arm, forcing him to look at him. "She's gone! She's gone and she's never coming back! Do you understand that? I know it sucks. You lost your dad and your girlfriend. It's not supposed to be okay but you can't get lost in all of this. We still have a job to do."

"I know she's gone, Sam." Dean replied. His voice was shaky and his eyes were wet. "It just hurts to do anything. I can't sleep because all I see is her. But being awake is just as hard." He said and looked at the floor. "I can't handle this right now. Not from you." He said walking away from his brother.

"Dean, we need to talk. Remember what you told me after Jess died? How it wasn't my fault. How I couldn't do anything about it. Just remember what you told me and believe it yourself. You need to talk about it or you'll never move on." Sam told him.

"I don't want to move on!" Dean yelled at him. "Moving on means that she's really gone. She can't be gone. I just got her back." He said with a small smile. Sam just frowned at him with a sad expression. Dean's smile disappeared and he quickly left the room.

There was little that could be said or done. He wasn't good at grieving. They had saved nearly everyone they had ever helped. There was a limited list of people he ever truly cared about. The list was quickly dwindling down. It seemed like everyone he cared about kept dying. He stared at the ground as he walked. He heard a bark and stopped, something seemed familiar about it. He listened as it came closer and then a mutt of a stray trotted across the road, avoiding him as it watched him nervously. Dean sighed and kept walking, thinking about Evy. Trying to remember everything about her. It had been over a month since she had died. Sam had her buried before he had woken from his near death experience. There was one thing he just couldn't seem to shake. He had seen her. If he had known any better he would swear that he had _touched_ her, felt her skin against his. He remembered it vividly, maybe too vividly. She still felt alive to him; even though his mind told him that she was gone. He remembered what she had told him. _You need to live. I _need_ you to live._ So he lived. He was alive and well while she lay dead and buried. She would be reunited with Jim. He wondered if that meant anything or not. If they were happy together in heaven. He pushed the thought away. He knew that she wouldn't betray him. Even in the afterlife. Or so he had convinced himself of. He kept walking until the sun was a line on the horizon. When he returned to the room his brother was sitting on the edge of the bed, staring at the floor. He didn't even look up when Dean closed the door.

"Hi." Dean said softly.

"Dean, I miss her too. I miss her just as much as you do." Sam told him. "I miss dad. I don't know what we're going to do without him. It hurts every day." He said finally looking at his brother. "I know it hurts, Dean. But I need you. I need you to get the job done. We need to save people. We need to hunt. We need to find this demon and kill the son of a bitch once and for all. For both dad and Evy."

"We will." Dean told him.

"I know, but in order to do that I need you. I need my brother." Sam replied.

"It just hurts so bad, you know?" Dean said sitting on the other bed. "I miss her every minute of every day. I close my eyes and all I see is her. All I can smell is her. I see her everywhere. I even think I hear that damn dog of hers. It just…" He said and put his head in his hands. "I wanted to share my life with her. It took her dying for me to really see it, but now that I can't have her I know that I would have married that girl." He told his brother and laughed. "Well, maybe someday. Though I never thought I'd even think those words." He admitted. "Marriage…" He said and grinned as his brother. "But I would have if it was her. If I could have anyone, it would have been her."

"I know, Dean." Sam said with wet eyes. "I know."

Dean suddenly felt guilty. "I'm sorry, Sammy." He whispered.

"Its okay, Dean." Sam told him. "It's going to be hard for a while. But we're going to be okay."

"If you say so." Dean smiled sadly.

* * *

Dean wiped the sweat from his forehead as he continued the tedious work on his car. It still sat in Bobby Singer's junk yard. He'd been putting all of his energy into raising his car from the mess the semi had put it in. It helped pass the time and take his mind off of things. It was focused work and even though he still didn't want to talk, Sam continuously brought beer and some brotherly advice. Dean wasn't up for any of it and in the end it only added more grease to the fire that was burning in his veins. He didn't want to talk about the death of his girlfriend. He didn't want to talk about the death of his father. He didn't _want _to talk. He didn't understand why they couldn't just leave him alone. He would grieve in his own way. He didn't need to talk to them in order to move on. But like he had told Sam. He didn't want to move on.

Not only did he have his car but they'd killed a few things, letting Dean get out some of his pent up aggression on the demons that roamed the earth. From vampires to killer clowns. Their life was never boring and these days that was exactly the way they liked it. Only every once in a while things just weren't happening and now was one of those times. Things hadn't been going very fast and they had no more on yellow-eyes then they had before. The colt was gone which left them powerless against him. They sat at Harvelle's Roadhouse, waiting for the atypical Ash to come up with something. They were running out of leads leaving them to resort to the man genius. Dean was reading through a string of obits when Jo, the pretty blond, sat across from him.

"Finding anything?" She asked.

"Nope." Dean told her without looking up.

"Need help?" She asked, trying again.

"Nope." Dean repeated.

"Jo?" Ellen, her mother, called. Jo looked back at her. "Will you go get another case of beer for me?"

"Sure." Jo said as she stood.

Soon a different person sat in front of him. He sighed and looked up to see Ellen staring at him. "Can I help you with somethin'?" Dean asked.

"Can I ask you a question?" Ellen replied.

"Why not?" Dean said with a sarcastic edge to his voice.

"Sam and I had a little chat." She told him.

"And?" He replied.

"He told me about Evy." She said softly.

"He had no right to do that." Dean shot at her, leaning back in the chair.

"He had every right to do it." Ellen frowned at him.

"So what exactly is it that you want to say?" Dean asked.

"I know what you're going through." Ellen told him. "I lost my husband and I know the pain that's eating away at you."

"You're point?" Dean asked.

"You're brother's worried about you, Dean." She told him angrily. "You two come and go and fight but you are still as closed off as ever."

"I don't understand what this has to do with you." He told her. "You don't even know her."

"Didn't." She corrected.

"What?" He asked leaning toward her, his eyebrows raised.

"I didn't know her. She's not coming back, Dean. No matter how much you want her to."

"I don't need this from you." He said quickly getting to his feet.

"You need it from someone." Ellen said doing the same. "Your brother tried but nothing is changing." She told him.

"Please…" Dean said looking at her.

"What's wrong?" Jo asked when she returned with the case.

"Nothing." Ellen told her daughter.

"Dean looks awful upset for it to be nothing." Jo smirked.

"We're talking about my dead girlfriend." Dean said his eyes still on Ellen.

"What?" Jo asked.

"Thanks for the talk." Dean told Ellen before leaving the Roadhouse.

"Dean?" Sam said following him.

"Not now Sammy." Dean replied.

"Just wait." Sam said stopping him. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have told Ellen about Evy but I needed to talk about it."

"You could've talked to me." Dean told him.

"No I couldn't." Sam told him. "Every time I mention her all you do is pull further away from me. I'm trying to put on a good façade for you but sometimes I need to talk."

"It's fine Sam." He told his brother.

"Are you sure?" Sam asked.

"I'm sure." Dean smiled. "I'm just dealing with it my own way. A woman who we haven't known very long isn't going to help me."

"I thought the woman's perspective might help a little." Sam admitted with a smile.

Dean smiled back. "It's fine." He repeated. "I'm still just not up for talking about it."

"And that's okay." Sam replied.

"No, it's not. Ellen was right." Dean told him. "I'll try and be better. About both of them."

"No one is asking you to be all cheery about it but you do need to deal with it." Sam told him. "Just think about Evy when Jim died. She didn't deal with it and it ate at her until she ended up leaving us."

Dean nodded and looked at his brother. "It'll get better."

"I know." Sam told him. "I know."

* * *

Dean ran with Sam right behind him. She was coming and they needed to get her where they needed her. When she appeared she knocked Sam down and attempted to end him. Dean distracted her and she took after him. He stopped next to her grave and shot her sending her falling backward into her coffin. He grabbed the silver sword and plunged it into her, pinning her to the bottom. She soon fell still and was once again dead. They had come through nearly unscathed. They reburied her and left the cemetery.

"I think she broke my hand." Sam told his brother.

"We'll get it looked at in the morning." Dean told him.

Sam nodded and they headed back to the room. The next morning Dean sat in the waiting room while Sam had his hand looked at. He tried to stay focused but his mind went to the same thing it always did. His hands moved into his pockets, his fingers touching something that wasn't there before. He pulled it out and held it up. It was Evy's necklace. The pentagram that he had given her. He stared at it before he started to shake. He had given it to her. Why was it in his pocket? Why wasn't she buried with it? There was only one person that could have taken it off of her. He would have had to see her in order to remove it. Why would he take it off of her? The questions kept moving through his head over and over again until his brother came out. He frowned at Sam and his brother immediately knew that something was wrong, and then his eyes fell on the pentagram. He frowned and then knew that this was going to be something they needed to talk about. Sam nodded and Dean followed him from the hospital. Dean didn't say anything until they were in the car.

"Why was this in my pocket?" Dean asked his brother.

"I thought you might want it." Sam said softly. "Something of hers."

"I gave it to her." Dean said coldly. "Why didn't you bury her with it? It's for protection. Maybe she needs it where she is." Dean told him.

"I'm sorry, Dean." Sam told him. "I was just thinking of you."

"When did you take it off of her?" Dean asked.

"When I saw her at the morgue." He replied. Dean winced at the word and closed his eyes. "You and dad weren't awake yet and I had to deal with it. I had to pick out an outfit. I had to make the arrangements. They couldn't wait for you wake up. We weren't sure if you were going to wake up."

"How did she look?" Dean asked. He hadn't had the nerve to ask till now.

"She looked okay." Sam replied and stopped.

"Just tell me." Dean said quickly.

Sam took a deep breath before going on. "A shard of glass had cut through her side. She bled out from both inside and out. There was a deep laceration to her head but they could cover it up with her hair." Sam recalled. "She was pale…cold."

"Stop it." Dean whispered with his eyes closed his brows furrowed.

"But…" Sam said looking at him. "She was still beautiful."

Dean looked at him. "She was?"

"Yeah." Sam replied.

Dean gave him a small smile. "Thanks, Sammy."

"You're welcome." Sam smiled back.

There was a long pause before Dean asked, "Did you know she was adding to dad's journal?"

"No." Sam replied.

"Look." Dean said and handed it to Sam. "She wrote a bunch of entries and attempted to add some maps and stuff to it."

"Wow. I'm going to miss her organizational skills." Sam replied.

"I didn't realize she had any." Dean laughed. "Remember when she searched for that _one_ piece of paper with that _one_ fact on? Only she found it in some random spot she wasn't even looking in. And the fact wasn't even the one she was actually looking for?"

Sam laughed and nodded. "Or how she argued with me about some file on her computer that she just _needed_ to have, only to realize that she deleted it and really didn't need it."

"She tried to be organized but it didn't work very well." Dean stated. "I think she was getting better though. This proves it." He said taking the journal back. His fingers traced her handwriting.

"It'll get better." Sam told him. "It's already getting better."

"Some moments aren't so bad and some moments are completely unbearable." Dean told his brother. "I guess we'll just have to take it one step at a time. Let's go find something to kill." He smiled and the impala roared to life.


	3. Heaven

**Disclaimer: Anything you recognize from Supernatural is not mine.**

**A/N: Here is the next chapter! Reviews are awesome!!!******

* * *

_**Chapter Three: Heaven**_

Time was nothing, it meant nothing. The sun rose and the sun set. Nothing ever seemed to change but the more 'time' went on the more I felt happy. I spent my days doing whatever I wanted. I started painting again. The nice thing about heaven was that just thinking about something made it happen. I imagined a grand canvas and it appeared on an easel, a table of paints appearing with it. I had smiled and I had gone to the canvas, running my fingers across it. It had been so long since I'd painted. A long time since I had practiced what I had always thought was my gift. The more I thought about it the more I realized that I hadn't painted since before I had met John. I smiled as I picked up the paints and put a small amount on a slab. I took a deep breath and started to mix the colors. I was surprised at how easily it came back to me. It was like I had never stopped. I smiled as the brush flowed across the canvas. It grew as the picture I was painting came to life. Cooper came to my side and cocked his head. I laughed and painted faster, now excited to make it move. It was no surprise that when it was complete Dean was smiling at me. I hadn't forgotten him. I was ecstatic when I realized that with time my memories never faded. If anything, they grew stronger. None of my memories from my life were taken from me. I was able to bring them all. I called more canvases to the field. Soon there were pictures everywhere and not just of Dean, but of everything and everyone who had impacted my life. This was my heaven. Not a place to just linger but a place to remember that even though my life was cut short I was able to remember. Remember that I had lived a good life. I had touched people and they had touched me. More then I could say. When the sun was growing faint I sat in a lounge swing that hung from a branch on the elm tree. It was nice to know that I could make it rock back and forth without having to use any energy. It took nothing to make it swing. Cooper laid next to me, his body against my side.

"Do you think it's time to change the scenery?" I asked him. He just licked his lips. "I almost don't want to let it go. It's been a nice place to be. But a nice home and a couch wouldn't be too bad. A leather couch and a big leather armchair. An entertainment center full of all my favorite movies and maybe a playstation. That would be nice. A good way to pass the time." I told him.

I was just about to think harder about it, making it form when a laugh caught my ear. I stopped and looked around. Walking toward me were two people I didn't know well but I knew who they were. I stood and faced them. A grin moved across my face as I walked toward them. I stopped only a few feet in front of them and looked them over.

"Hello." The woman told me.

"Mom." I said and moved to her, hugging her tight. "I can't believe it."

"Neither can we." My dad said hugging me next.

"Why haven't I seen you yet?" I asked them. "I've been here a while."

"We wanted to give you a chance to get used to the idea. That and Jim wanted to be here. We thought he had more of a right to be here." My mother replied.

I nodded and looked at the ground. "So…" I said not really knowing what to say.

"I'm kind of surprised at the place you picked for your heaven." My dad told me.

"Steven…" My mother said lightly hitting his stomach.

"What Joanne? We came here only a few times and that was a long time ago." He replied.

"Yes, but there was a picture I know well." I smiled at him. "A picture of the three of us from shortly before you died."

He just looked at me. "It wasn't burned in the fire?"

"No." I said shaking my head. "It was one of the few that survived it."

"That's good. I'm glad something survived the fire for you." Joanne told me.

"Why did you die, dad? I was too young to be parentless." I said getting to something that had always bothered me.

"Heart attack. Though I don't remember what brought it on. A man was there and he was talking to me. That's all I remember." He replied.

"Was he normal?" I asked, my instincts telling me that a mutual man had shown himself.

"I suppose so." He replied.

"His eyes were normal?" I asked.

"Well, I don't know. That was a long time ago. I don't really remember." My dad replied.

"Okay." I said nodding.

"Why?" My mother asked.

"There is just someone I've been dealing with…_was_ dealing with, on earth. Someone who led to my death." I replied.

They were curious and I couldn't blame them. They wanted to know me just as much as I wanted to know them. I led them to my paintings as I told them the story of my life. I moved from painting to painting telling them about each one and whatever else they wanted to know. They seemed shocked to hear how I spent my living years but I told them that I wouldn't have had it any other way. What shocked me was that not long before his death, my father had been looking into the supernatural. He couldn't really remember why but it was enough to know that maybe I was the way I was because of my family. That and maybe their deaths weren't as 'accidental' as I was led to believe. Lamps littered the trees branches as our conversations continued into the night. It was nice to be able to talk to my parents again. See myself in them, the traits that I had received. It was nice, though when they finally took their leave I wasn't upset. It was almost nice to be alone again. Cooper seemed to sigh with relief as I laid the back of the swing down so it formed a bed. I smiled at him and laid down on my stomach. He moved next to me and soon we were asleep. I didn't need to sleep but it was still a nice pastime. Though it was odd to think of it that way. Everything was a pastime. It was my last thought before falling asleep.

* * *

I woke with a start. Something pulling at my center. I sat up and put my hand to my chest. It was a feeling I knew well. I couldn't explain it but I knew who it was. I knew that he was coming. I shot off of the swing and turned in a circle. He was here. He was coming. I couldn't place the feeling that was going through my body. I finally spotted him. He was just standing there. It was still my field but he didn't look like he belonged here.

"Evy?" He asked and stepped toward me.

His form flickered in and out of view. He wasn't dead, but he was close to it. I started running toward him.

"Dean?" I called to him.

"Baby…" Dean said as he walked slowly toward me.

I reached him a moment later, my hands moving to the sides of his head. "Dean…" I said and kissed him passionately.

"Evy…" He said as his fingers traced the lines of my face. "I thought I'd never see you again." He told me. "I've been watching and I couldn't find you. Sam told me…my body…that you were gone."

"You don't belong here." I told him, kissing him again. "You need to go back."

"I don't want to go back." He said pulling me against him. "I'm dying. I know that."

"But you don't have to." I said pulling away from him. "I can feel it."

"I don't want to live." He told me. "Not if I get to be with you."

"Dean…" I said running my hand down his face. "I love you, so much. You know that right?" He nodded. "But I want you to live. I _need _you to live. You have so much more to give to the world. I've played my part." I told him.

"No." He said as his eyes grew wet. "I need you. I need you, Evy." He told me shakily.

"I know baby." I said and kissed his forehead. "I know, but you need to live. For your father and for Sammy."

"Why did you leave me?" He said as tears fell. I started to cry and I pulled him against me. "Why did you leave me?" He repeated as he buried his face in my neck.

"I didn't want to leave." I cried. "I didn't want to leave you."

"You promised." He whispered.

"I'm sorry. I am so sorry." I told him. I pulled him away from me and put my hands on either side of his head. "But you need to go on. You need to live."

He shook his head as his lip quivered. It broke my heart to see him like that. A moment later his body seemed to shutter and he disappeared from my grip. My breathing quickened and he suddenly reappeared in front of me.

"I love you." He told me quickly.

"I love you too." I replied and watched as he disappeared again.

I stood in that spot for hours, just waiting for him to come back. He never did. The feeling that was pulling at me faded and I knew that he was still alive. He had lived through whatever it was that was trying to take him. I nodded when Cooper whined at my side. I turned back to my tree, walking toward it.

"He's alive." I told Coop. "He's alive. He's going to be okay."

Darkness filled the field and I let it stay that way. As I walked back to the tree my hand moved to my neck. The pentagram he gave me was supposed to be there, but it wasn't. I counted on its protection. Knowing that, somehow, it would protect me when he wasn't there. But my neck was bare. I closed my eyes as tears came to them. I laid on the swing and replayed it in my head. He looked like he was in pain. I needed him. I curled my legs up against me and waited for the serenity of this place to make everything okay again. As time moved on it didn't get better. The power of this place was no match for my longing. I wasn't sure how long I would be able to hold onto him. How long it would last. It was a few days before I finally let the sun out again. I wanted the darkness. I wanted to feel pain as best I could even though it was practically impossible here. I was able to let my emotions show but there was no way to be completely unhappy here. That wasn't the point of heaven. It was supposed to be a happy place. A place of peace and serenity. It would come to me again. It seemed to start to flow through me as soon as the sun began to shine. I stood and decided that I needed a change. I stood by the tree and thought of the home I had always wanted. A wrap around porch, a balcony off of the master bedroom, white house with blue shudders, and a red front door. Soon it built itself in front of my eyes, several yards from the tree. I simply thought of what I wanted the inside to look like and when I stepped through the door it was everything I wanted. It only dulled the ache inside of me and I walked through the house, seeing the home that I would have loved for Dean and I to have. To raise a family in. I went into the living room to see a big screen TV and all my favorite movies were lined up against one wall. There was also a playstation underneath the TV with the DVD player. I was about to sit down but something seemed to call to me from upstairs. I went up and into one of the large rooms. I didn't know I had done it but my subconscious must have spoken for me. It was a white room but it had several pictures and paintings covering all four walls. Every one of them had Dean in them. Most of him alone, some of him and me, some of him and Sam…even him and John. They were since I had known him. The way I remembered him. Tears came to my eyes and I turned in a circle, looking at all of them. I fell to my knees in the center of the room and cried. I cried till the tears wouldn't come anymore before finally leaving the room. Pausing in the doorway to take one last look at them. I knew tomorrow I would spend more time in this room. As well as the day after that. And the day after that. I sighed and returned to the living room. I looked at the TV again. I shrugged my shoulders and sighed as I sat on the leather couch. I sunk into it's softness and looked around. The walls were blank. I got up and went outside where I had stacked my paintings. I brought them in and hung them on the walls, adding color and memories to the home. It helped me but Dean's short visit was still very much fresh in my mind. Cooper jumped up onto the couch next to me and laid against my side. I smiled and kissed his head before putting _The Mummy_ into the DVD player. It did the job of calming me. I made myself hot chocolate and popcorn before putting in the second one and finished the trilogy off after getting a sketchbook from the room I had created as my art room. By the end of the night I had sketched through nearly half the book and was once again in my happy place. I was starting to feel tired and I went up to the bedroom. Sure enough, the king sized bed was there with a down comforter and a half dozen pillows. I climbed in and crawled under the covers. Cooper crawled under with me and I pulled him against me. I kissed his fur before falling asleep.

* * *

When I woke up it was too a similar feeling like before, pulling at me. I sat up and raced from the house. I knew it wasn't Dean but I knew it was one of them. I knew it and when the moon appeared I knew who it was.

"Oh no…" I said and searched the field. Then I had another feeling. I knew he was coming but I knew that he wasn't coming here. "I'm coming." I said as I raced through the field. I knew I was getting close and then the scene suddenly changed. I was in a house but I didn't know whose it was. Then I saw the picture. John, Mary, Dean, and baby Sammy. I turned and listened but I couldn't hear anything. "John?" I called. Then I heard someone on the stairs. I looked up as he slowly walked down them, his eyes locked on me. "John…" I said looking at him.

"Evy…" I heard my name and I looked to see Mary coming from the other room.

"Mary…" I said shocked to see her.

"Mary…" John said and rushed down to see his wife.

"We don't have a lot of time." She told him.

"I know." He replied. "I had to do it, Mary. I had to save our boy." He told her.

"John?" I asked.

"I'm sorry Evy." He said pulling me against him.

"John, what is it?" I asked him.

"Dean was dying. He offered me a choice." He replied.

"The demon…" I stated realizing what he was telling me. "John, you didn't!" I yelled. "How could you?"

He pulled me against him and kissed my head. "I love you, Evy." He said and held my face in his hands. "I love you."

"I love you too." I told him, tears streaming down my face.

He turned to his wife and kissed her passionately, telling her how much he loved her. She reciprocated his feelings and then in a blaze of fire he was gone.

"NO!" I screamed and fell to my knees. "JOHN!"

"It's all right, Evy. He knew what he was doing." Mary said kneeling next to me.

"How could he do this? He sold his soul to the one demon he was determined to kill. He gave up."

"No." Mary said running her fingers through my hair. "He just couldn't bear to seen Dean die. He was a father first and for most, even if it was hard to see sometimes. The last thing he wanted was for Dean to die. So he sacrificed himself. It was honorable."

"How can you say that?" I asked as I put my arms around her, tears falling down my cheeks. "You of all people."

"Because I would do the same thing. John will be okay. I know he will be and he'll join me soon enough." She replied.

I started to cry and she cradled me against her like she would a daughter. I held tight to her, not wanting to let go. She stroked my hair and whispered soft words into my ear. Soon the tears stopped and we sat facing each other on the couch. I looked at the house and tried to picture Dean living here.

"Thinking about Dean?" She asked.

"Yes." I replied looking at her. "I'm always thinking about Dean."

"You truly love him, don't you?" She smiled.

"More then anything." I told her softly. "Did you feel him when he almost died?" I asked. She nodded. "Did you see him?"

"No, he wanted to see you." She told me. "He loves you so much."

"How do you know?" I asked her.

"I could feel it. His love for you is very strong." She replied.

I nodded and pulled my knees up against me. "I should be getting back to my dog." I told her.

"Call him and he will come." She smiled.

"Cooper?" I called. I heard his feet on the floor and he sat next to me, looking at me with joyous eyes. I grinned and kissed his head. "Hey baby."

"He's wonderful." She told me. "I saw him briefly when he first arrived."

"Do all animals come to the same heaven?" I asked.

She smiled at me, "I don't know." I nodded. "I've never had one and have not had the pleasure of seeing one so devoted to its owner."

"He's the best." I smiled at her. "You said you saw him?"

She nodded. "He came in and out of peoples heavens. He was searching. Searching for you, I assume."

"You're a good dog." I said stroking his head.

"He stayed with me for a short while. The company was nice but then he was gone." She told me.

"How do you know who I am?" I asked her.

"I've been watching you." She confessed. I frowned at her. "I felt something when you arrived. I knew that you were something to my family and I needed to see who you were. I watched you with your dead fiancé. I watched you mourn your life. I wasn't sure what you meant to my family until you started to paint. I watched as Dean appeared on several canvases. As well as Sam and John. Then I knew who you were. I had felt you before. You're Dean's girl." She grinned at me.

"I _was_ Dean's girl." I corrected her. "Now that I'm dead I don't think I can be called that anymore."

"You're still his girl." Mary grinned at me.

"Stop looking at me like that." I told her as I felt my cheeks start to burn.

Mary laughed and gently shoved me. "I would have loved to have you in the family." She told me.

"You don't even know me." I smiled at her.

"But I know Dean. Anyone who can get through to him and actually make him settle is someone amazing." She smiled.

I blushed again and just looked at her. "I'm really happy I got to meet you." I smiled.

"Me too." She smiled back.

I couldn't deny how amazing it was to be sitting with Mary Winchester. We sat for hours talking. By the time we were done she knew my complete life story, including the one I shared with her son. She was a little less open about where she came from but she told me about her life with John and the few short years she was able to spend with Dean and then the few months with Sam. I tried to ask her of what happened to her. How she had died. She gave me little in site. The demon killing her on the ceiling, but it was nothing I hadn't heard before and I wasn't going to push her on it. It was a sensitive subject. The same demon had led to my death. We had that in common. I told her about his appearances but she couldn't shed any light on it for me. I thanked her for everything she told me. I couldn't have imagined a better place to be. I had a new look on heaven. I now had someone I would be able to spend time with. Not just anyone but the mother of my boyfriend. Someone I knew he treasured and now I could too.

* * *

Heaven was actually feeling like heaven these days. I was happier and with that came more paintings and more conversation with Mary. I didn't just go to her heaven but she was just as happy to come to mine. She really liked the house and she said she enjoyed watching me paint. It was nice to have company again. I hadn't realized how much I had missed talking to someone until I had someone to talk to. I had been so happy being alone that I hadn't even thought that someone would be around to talk to me. It was only reiterated when Jim came strolling in while Mary and I were in the field. I was painting while Mary sat in a big armchair.

"Hey you." Jim said kissing my cheek.

"Hey." I smiled and turned to him. "You haven't been around much." I frowned at him.

"Sorry. Been busy in my own heaven." He smiled at me.

I laughed and put paint on his nose before turning back to my painting. "I've been busy too." I told him.

"Making friends." Jim said. "Hi, I'm Jim." He said introducing himself.

"Mary." She said taking his hand.

"She's Dean's mom." I told him.

"Really?" Jim said looking at Mary. She nodded. "How weird is that?" Jim asked me. "Meeting your boyfriend's mother in heaven."

"Not weird at all." I told him with a raised brow.

Mary smiled at him. He just laid amongst the flowers and looked into the sky. Cooper cocked his head at him. "You know. I don't think that dog likes me very much." Jim told me.

"What do you mean?" I asked him.

"He doesn't let me touch him. He'll sit by me but that's it." He replied.

"That's probably because he's attached to someone else. I think he gets who you are. Who we used to be. He's a bit protective of me…and of Dean." I replied.

"You know. Since we're all dead and all, I'd like to think we're over any emotions that might be…frowned upon, but I think I'm beginning to be a bit jealous of Dean." Jim sated.

I laughed and looked at him. "I bet you are." I turned back and made the finishing touches on Dean's face. "There…" I said looking at it.

"He's had you less then me but you're more devoted to him. You're not engaged or anything but I can tell. The love you have for him is different then what you had for me. I think you love him more then me." He replied.

"Jim, honey…" I said sitting in front of him. "I still love you, but you're right, it's not the same. I loved you and then I lost you. I had to move on and Dean was there and the things we've been through…we've been through so much together, it was bound to happen. I would've been here a long time ago if it weren't for Dean. I love him more then anything." I told him. "But you've always been with me."

"Thanks." He said and sniffled sarcastically.

"Shut up." I said and shoved him.

It was a moment of fun but was ruined when something lurched at me. It was painful. I yelled in pain and both of them shot up from where they sat. I had my hand to my chest as they stood on either side. Cooper whined and looked up at me. It passed and for a moment I thought I was okay.

"It's okay." I said looking at them. "I think I'm –" It hit me again and I yelled out. "What's happening?" I asked them.

"Evy?" Mary said putting one hand on my back the other on my arm.

"Mary?" I said as it hit again. "What is happening?" I asked and the pain went through me again. Cooper let out a low growl. "Cooper?" I asked him. "Cooper!" I yelled when I realized why he would be growling.

I looked at Jim and reached out for him but was suddenly pulled away from them. It was as if I was being forced backward only nothing was there. It hurt like hell and it didn't seem like it was going to stop. I was yelling out but no one was there to hear me. I finally didn't have a choice but to give into it. There was nothing else I could do. The next thing I knew it was over and my chest started to heave while I gasped for air. My eyes shot open and I reached my hand out but hit something just inches above my head. I tried to move but my knees hit the top and when I tried to move down I hit the foot of whatever I was in. My hands moved around my head and there were four walls just inches to each side. It took me a moment to realize where I was. The realization made my panic intensify. I tried to scream but my throat was raspy and only air came out.


	4. Life

**Disclaimer: Anything you recognize from Supernatural does not belong to me. Evy and anything you dont does.**

**A/N: Okay, sorry it's taken so long for me to post. I hope you like it and reviews are awesome! ENJOY! =]**

* * *

_**Chapter Four: Life**_

Panic was flowing through me as my oxygen started to deplete. I tried to yell out but nothing came. I grabbed the fabric and tore it open to feel wood under my hands. Even though I was panicked my mind still seemed to know what to do. I hit it with my hand but it wouldn't break. I formed a fist and punched it as hard as I could. It cracked but still wouldn't break. I hit it over and over again, feeling my knuckles breaking open, before finally feeling the dirt start to fall on top me. I tore the wood apart, feeling it cut into my hands, letting the soil fall as I moved into the hole. The dirt filled the coffin as I forced myself through the soil. Air was hard to come by and it seemed like forever before I finally felt air on my fingertips. I clawed at the earth as I forced myself from the ground. I pushed on a root and managed to get my torso out. I gasped for air. I gulped in the air. It never tasted so good. I tried to focus on everything around me but my vision was blurry. I pulled myself free and laid on my back trying to catch my breath. I was sore and my hands were bloody. I rolled onto my stomach and turned to see a headstone. My breathing quickened and tears came to my eyes as I read what it said.

In Loving Memory of

EVELYN ROSE CONNORS

Precious Girlfriend

Loving Friend

She Knew How to Get the Job Done

I gasped and scrambled away from the grave. It was obviously my grave but my mind was empty. I didn't know who I was. I could only assume that the name on the headstone was mine. I had just dug myself out of my own grave. My head grew even foggier as panic flowed freely through me. I got to my feet and stumbled forward, landing on my knees. I got to my feet again and took a deep breath taking one step at a time. It was easier with each step. My mind reeling from what just happened. I was trying to get my bearings. I was scanning the cemetery. I didn't see a name. I tried to find the entrance when someone caught my eye. My eyes weren't working quite right and they were gone before I could tell who they were. I was all confused and turned around. I didn't know what I was going to do. The fog in my head just seemed to get thicker. I fumbled around the cemetery before finding the name of it. But my eyes were so blurred I couldn't see it straight. I tried talking to myself but only raspy sounds came out. Then I heard something. I heard something crack behind me and my instincts kicked in. I started to run back through the cemetery. Weaving my way back through it. I didn't know where I was going. I ended up falling back into my own grave, my foot catching a root as I tried to pull free. I heard some sound and I flew back against the headstone. I screamed even though it wasn't as loud as I intended it to be. I shut my eyes and covered my face with my arms. I felt hands on my arms and I was pulled free, only when I looked at the person who held me the only thing I could focus on was the pointed teeth that were coming ever more near to my throat. I tried screaming again but it was no use. Just when I felt a prick on my neck I was released and muffled noise surrounded me. I shut my eyes curling into the fetal position. I covered my ears not wanting to hear, not wanting to see. I was grabbed again, the grip so hard that I wanted to call out but my throat burned with the effort. I heard someone shout and I was thrown hitting one of the headstones. I was unconscious in seconds.

* * *

When I opened my eyes I was in a cheap hotel room. There was dripping from the ceiling as thunder roared outside. I slowly sat up and felt the rush of blood as it moved through my veins. I must have been laying there a while. I moved to the edge of the bed and put my head in my hands. It was throbbing with a horrible pulse that seemed to get worse as I remained vertical. I was about to stand when the door opened and a man stepped through. I looked at him and quickly stood, moving away from him.

"It's okay. I'm not going to hurt you." He told me. "I had to get some supplies to take care of your hands."

"How long was I out?" I asked him.

"Only a few hours." He replied.

"Who are you?" I asked him.

"It doesn't matter." He replied. "I'm just someone who was in the right place at the right time."

"Okay." I told him. "Not that I'm not grateful or anything but uh…I'm a bit fuzzy on what happened. My eyes are clear now but for some reason I think I remember digging myself out of my own grave."

"Yeah, I wasn't sure if you were going to remember that or not." He told me.

"My name's Evy, right?" I asked him.

"Yes." He said with an odd look. "You don't remember who you are?" He asked.

I shook my head and sat back down. "I don't remember anything." I said as my eyes stung. "I don't remember what happened. I don't remember who I am."

"It'll be okay." He said walking up to me. He put his hand on my shoulder. "We'll figure it out."

"Why are you helping me?" I asked him. "Why not just drop me off at some hospital?"

"Because I don't think that they'd believe me, or you, if we told them that you dug yourself out of your own grave." He replied.

I smiled. "Yeah, that might suck a little. I don't really want to end up in the loony bin."

There was a moment of silence before he said, "Let's take a look at your hands."

I nodded and he knelt in front of me. I held out my hands and he took them in his. His hands were soft. I thought it odd. Men tended to be on the wimpy side when they had soft hands. I frowned but he didn't see it. He took out some hydrogen peroxide and started to pour it over my knuckles. Normally it would sting and he watched my expression to see if it hurt but it was anything but intolerable. I frowned at that too. Why wasn't I reacting? Why didn't it bother me that even though my hands were hurt I didn't react to the pain before or after they were cleaned? I didn't say anything as he bandaged my hands. They looked like huge cotton balls when he was done. I looked at them and raised a brow. He noticed this time.

"What?" He asked.

"This is the best you can do?" I asked him.

"You do better." He said suddenly defensive.

I glowered at him, feeling uneasy as I undid the bandaging. He stared out the window but I wasn't going to be able to use my hands with the way he had done it. I watched him and took in his body language. He was clearly tense and when I took in his reflection from the window his eyes were shut like he was trying to control himself. I frowned and tried not to pay attention to it. Something was telling me that it was a bad idea to be here. That something was wrong, but I owed him for saving my life from whatever was after me last night. Though I still wasn't quite sure what that was.

"Question," I told him. "What exactly did you save from me last night?" I asked.

"Vampires." He replied nonchalantly.

"Vampires?" I replied. "Hmph."

"You're not surprised?" He asked turning toward me.

I shrugged and looked at him after I finished my first hand. "I guess not." I replied. "I don't know why but no, I'm not worried about it."

"Listen," He said grabbing his jacket. "I'll be back in a bit. Here's some money for food." He said putting some on the table.

"Okay." I told him.

I frowned after he left. Something still didn't feel right. I looked at myself and realized that I looked like shit. Though I took a moment to look at what I was buried in, suddenly curious. I wore a decent pair of blue jeans with a black v-neck long sleeved shirt. If it wasn't dirty then it would have been nice. I actually really liked the outfit. Way better then the dresses and odd blouses people got buried in. Whoever buried me knew me well. Though I was still shocked that I knew anything about me. It was a feeling that I had when things happened. I knew what I liked and what I didn't like when I saw or heard it. I pulled on the base of the shirt and sighed. I looked at the money and then left. I needed to get cleaned up and I needed to do it fast. The feeling was growing and it made me feel odd. Like I was forgetting something important. I went to the nearest store and bought a pair of jeans, an orange shirt, and a brown leather jacket. There was something about it that made me have to have it. I went back to the room and once again undid the bandages on my hands before taking a very long hot shower. My hands weren't bothering me but I looked at them. They were scabbing but when I flexed my fingers or made a fist they would break open. Sending more blood to roll in between my fingers. The images from my resurrection went through my head. I sighed rinsing them underneath the water. It felt good to have the water flowing over me. When I finally got out I looked at myself in the mirror. My grey eyes were looking back at me. To me I looked a little on the too skinny side. I looked fine but I didn't feel like me. I was too skinny. I frowned but decided not to worry about that. It wasn't something I would usually worry about. Or so I thought. My head was starting to hurt. I ran my fingers through my hair and got my fingers wrapped up in it. It was nearly to my waist which was suddenly annoying me. I realized that the money he gave me was gone and I didn't see any coming in till the man was back. The man. He really needed to tell me his name. I was thinking about it when I heard the door and he came in. I thought _'yay'_ before going out.

"Hey, can I borrow a little more money?" I asked him.

"Nice clothes." He replied. "Where did you get them?" He asked.

"I wasn't hungry." I replied shortly.

"I see." He replied though he was tense again.

"I'm kind of in need of a makeover." I told him.

"Fine." He said handing me a wad.

"Not that I don't appreciate it but uh…why are you cooperating with me so well?" I asked.

"I have my reasons." He replied. I looked at him expectantly. "Which I'll keep to myself for now."

I nodded and went to the door. "Did you want to come?" I asked.

He looked at me and smiled. "Yeah."

We left and our first stop was at the nearest hair stylist. My hair was too long and I needed it to be shorter. I had a long in depth conversation with the woman who was to cut my hair. How short I wanted to go. If I wanted highlights or not. There was a list of things I didn't realize you could do. But I kept it simple. I liked my layers but I needed a few inches cut off. By the end of the visit my hair hung half way down my arms and was re-layered. My waves seemed to be improved with the cut and I left happy.

"Can I tell you something?" I asked him as we walked.

"Of course." He smiled back.

"First, what do you think of my hair?" I asked.

"It looks good." He told me.

"That's it? It looks good?" I countered.

"It's very nice." He tried again.

"It reminds me of the character Evy from the movie The Mummy. It's my favorite." I grinned at him.

"What about this shop?" He asked pointing at one.

"Wait a minute." I said stopping. "I remembered something." I grinned at him. "I remembered something that I like." I said grinning wider. "This is fantastic!" I said throwing my arms around his neck. "This is really, really fantastic."

"Yeah." He said rather unfeelingly.

"What's up? Isn't this a good thing?" I asked him nervously.

"Of course it is." He told me slightly defensively.

"Okay, I'm kind of already tired of you're split personality and I haven't know you very long. My memory coming back is a good thing. Maybe someone's waiting for me and I don't know it. But maybe soon I'll remember it." I told him.

He smiled at me. "You're right, I'm sorry."

"Thank you." I smiled back.

We went into the store he had pointed out. Prisms and figurines everywhere. Quotes painted on wood or windows. I wandered reading them as I went. One stood out to me and someone flashed in my head.

"Always kiss me goodnight." I whispered as I looked at it. It was a beautiful calligraphy. The words were black painted on a white background framed with red. It was simple but it caught me in an unexpected way. "Always…" I frowned as something from the back of my mind tried to come out.

"You like it?" He asked me.

"I really do." I replied and picked it out of the pile.

I went to the register and quickly paid for it. Not wanting to be swayed. There was something about it that made me need it. I was going to humor my instincts.

"You need to tell me your name." I told him when we were on the street again.

"Is it that big of a deal?" He asked.

"What do you want me to call you then?" I countered.

"My name is…" He said but stopped. "Adam."

"Okay Adam." I smiled. "Thank you for telling me your name."

"Sure, Evy." He smiled back.

I laughed as we kept going. I bought a few more clothes since I didn't have any other then what I was wearing when I rose from the dead. But they needed to be washed and I didn't know when I was going to do that. We were walking through town. Turned out we were in San Diego. There were plenty of places to look at. We laughed as we went from shop to shop. I made him buy an odd looking hat that made his ears stick out funny but he seemed to enjoy the entertainment it gave me. He seemed eager to make me happy more than anything. Almost too eager. At times it was uncomfortable but I was having fun. It felt like it had been a long time since I'd been able to have fun. Though something was pulling me. We were walking toward the outskirts of town again when I spotted what it seemed like my subconscious wanted. I turned directions but was immediately stopped. I turned and Adam had my arm.

"What?" I asked.

"Let's not go there." He replied.

"Why not?" I asked.

"It's the pound. Why would you want to go in there?" He asked.

"I've always wanted a dog. Or at least I think I have." I replied.

"I'm allergic." He replied.

"Really?" I asked, completely saddened. "Like how bad?" I asked hopefully.

"Enough to not want to worry about it." He replied.

I nodded and we headed back to the room. I had a few new things and I was feeling like something was accomplished today. Though the later it got the less tired I felt. It felt like it was normal to be awake this late. I looked at Adam who was happily sleeping. I took out a piece of paper and started doodling. I didn't know what else to do. I didn't want to stare at the ceiling for hours. I watched the muted TV while my hand moved and I looked down to see a symbol. I knew it. It was familiar and important. It was just its name that was eluding me. I sighed and got up, feeling the need to be out. I walked the streets, aware of every sound. It was peculiar in its own little way. I wandered into what could only be the bad part of town but I didn't care. It didn't scare me. Even when a man jumped at me from the shadows I didn't flinch. He looked at me and for a second I wasn't sure what to do. I didn't want to run but I had nothing to defend myself with. It wasn't until I watched as a second set of pointed teeth descended. I groaned and leapt back as he lunged at me.

"Oh come on, hold still beautiful." He told me playfully.

"You know. I think I'm going to run." I told him. "Are you going to chase me?" I grinned at him.

"Yeah, let's play." He grinned back.

I took a few steps backward before turning and started to sprint down the street. I could hear it behind me, only a few strides away. I knew that I couldn't look back and I needed some sort of weapon. I veered into an old building. I was lucky enough to pick the one that happened to have been under construction. I stopped and looked around but a second later it was in the room. It backhanded me and I flew across the room, hitting the wall hard. I fell to the ground and rolled over in time to evade him. I moved underneath the table, popping up on the other side. We danced around the table until he leapt over it.

"That's not fair!" I yelled as I backed off. Knowing how ridiculous it was since he was a vampire.

He laughed and took a step toward me. "Just hold still. It'll only take a minute."

"Ha!" I yelled and reached behind me. I felt something cut into my hand, feeling the jagged edge of the saw. I grabbed it and brought it forward jabbing it into his neck. I forced him backward onto the table, crawling onto it with him. I pressed it down into him and soon his head was severed from his body. "Take that, you son of a bitch." I told it and crawled off of the table. I looked at my hand. It wasn't bad, but it wasn't the only thing there. There was a crescent shaped scar on my palm. I touched it, feeling something very familiar about all of this. _How did I know what to do?_ I thought to myself before hastily leaving the building.

* * *

It was midday before I finally opened my eyes. I practically jumped off of the bed when I saw Adam's eyes on me. I frowned at him and sat up, pulling my knees up against me.

"What are you doing?" I asked him.

"Where were you last night?" He asked.

"I went out." I told him still frowning.

"You drew this?" He asked putting the symbol in front of me.

"Obviously." I pointed out.

"Do you know what it is?" He asked.

"Please enlighten me." I told him coldly.

"A pentagram." He replied.

Something flashed behind my eyes when he said the word. Something important. I frowned and looked down, closing my eyes. I could see it, dangling from my fingers. I put my hand to my neck, knowing that's where it was supposed to be. Instead of a necklace I felt a long cut.

"You're hurt." He pointed out.

"Yes. What does it matter?" I told him as I ran my fingers through my hair.

"What were you fighting?" He asked.

"The same thing that tried to kill me for a second time." I replied.

"You could have just said 'vampire'." He told me.

"I don't think I like your tone." I told him. He just looked at me. I nodded and got off of the bed. I stopped at his shoulder and leaned toward him. "Just because I may not remember who I am. As much as I appreciate what you've done for me. Do not think that I can't take care of myself." I said coldly before going into the bathroom, locking the door.

I leaned against the sink as I regulated my breathing. Something was off with him. Something that I just couldn't place. He seemed to continuously jump from one personality to another. I didn't know if it was intentional or not, or if that's really what it was, but he was decent one moment and then he turned cold and almost mean. Something that almost seemed familiar. I shook the feeling off and splashed water on my face before going back out.

"Are you done being an ass?" I asked him.

"I'm sorry." He said facing me.

"I will not put up with you treating me like you own me. Like I have to tell you my every move." I told him coldly.

"I saw what happened in the grave yard. I just don't feel like seeing you put back into the ground." He replied.

I nodded and grabbed a change of clothes before going back into the bathroom. When I finally went back out I took little time in leaving. Adam followed but it didn't bother me.

"Did you kill it?" He asked after a short while.

"Of course." I replied.

"How?" He asked.

"With a saw." I smiled. "I cut off its head."

"How did you know what to do?" He asked, slightly worried.

"I don't know." I told him, my brows pulling slightly together. "It just happened and I knew."

He nodded and looked at me. "Do you remember anything else?" He asked.

I thought a moment, searching my mind but came up with nothing. "No, nothing. Some things just seem to come when I need them to. Other then that my first memory is crawling out of my grave."


	5. Instincts

_**Chapter Five: Instincts**_

I sat at the table, my eyes glued to the screen. Adam was sleeping, an odd noise coming from him. It wasn't quite snoring but wasn't quite wheezing either. It was a sound I had never heard before and one that was completely obnoxious. When it rose too loud to ignore I tossed something at him and it quieted enough for me to concentrate. I wasn't sure what I was looking for but my eyes kept searching for something. Only it wasn't just that they were searching but it was what they were searching through. The obits came and went. Nothing out of the ordinary. But I didn't know why there should be. I didn't know why but since the vampire I needed to find something else to kill. Something to save the world from. But I didn't know why. I didn't know why I thought the world needed saving or why I thought I was the one who was supposed to save it. It was just something inside of me. My instincts I suppose. Or was it? Either way I was still looking when Adam woke up. He sighed and walked over to me.

"Do you ever sleep?" He asked as he looked over my shoulder.

"I find that I only need a few hours to fully function. Plus, your snoring, or whatever you call it, makes sleeping a bit hard sometimes."

"Is that why I keep waking up to a bed of crumpled paper?" He frowned.

I laughed and elbowed him lightly. "That might be the reason."

"So what are you doing?" He asked.

"I've been researching." I told him.

"Researching what?" He asked with that concern back in his voice.

"The supernatural." I grinned at him.

"Why is it that you want to know so much?" He asked.

"It's not that I don't know." I told him. "I'm not searching for answers. I'm searching for the next hunt."

"The next hunt?" He asked surprised. "I don't know why you want to go hunting. I don't understand what your fascination is." He stated.

"It's not a fascination." I said turning to look at him. "It's a feeling that it's right. That it's something that I have to do."

He sighed and rubbed his head as he paced the room. I watched him but he looked too deep in thought to interrupt. "Okay." He told me.

"Okay what?" I replied.

"I'll go with you." He told me.

"I haven't asked you too yet." I stated.

"Weren't you going to?" He smiled.

"Maybe." I smiled back.

He looked at me and smiled. "So what've you got?"

"A possible vengeful spirit." I replied turning back to the screen. "It's been going on for a few decades or so. A family moves in and in six months or less they move out with no reason as to why. Sometimes there's a casualty and sometimes not. You'd think someone would call it haunted but this ghost must be badass or something."

"Or something." Adam said looking at the screen.

* * *

The house creaked as we made our way through it. It had to be here somewhere. My shotgun was loaded and ready for whenever it finally showed. The damn thing had been causing trouble for several years. One family after another. The most current one had currently left town. Leaving nearly everything behind. As we moved, Adam was right behind me. He didn't think it wise to separate. I thought he was ridiculous but didn't have time to argue with him. Adam jumped forward into me when I heard a scream. He yelled out and knocked me down. The shotgun slid just out of my reach. I cursed and scrambled forward. My ankle was grabbed and I was pulled away from it.

"Do something!" I yelled at Adam.

He scrambled forward and grabbed the gun. He turned and aimed…poorly. My shoulder seared with pain as the ghost threw me against the wall. It turned toward Adam and he slid the gun to me. I shot the ghost and it dissolved in the air.

"God damn you!" I yelled looking down at Adam. "I swear! I thought you'd done this before."

"Well…" He said getting to his feet. "I never said I did it alone or was the one in charge of it all."

"So basically I know more then you do even though I don't know I know it until it happens." I said and nodded. "Perfect."

He sighed and frowned at me. "Sorry about your shoulder."

"Whatever." I told him as I rolled my eyes. "Let's just find these damn bones. You stay up here and keep her busy while I look downstairs."

He didn't argue. I was grateful for that. He had been nothing but difficult. I didn't know what his deal was but I was getting tired of it. If my instincts were trying to tell me something then they were telling me to cut my losses. But at the same time I owed him. He helped me from the grave and I couldn't deny him what he deserved. Or what I thought I owed him.

I went to the basement, pushing aside the cobwebs as I made it to the bottom of the stairs. It was clear that no one had cleaned the thing in years. It would be a little bit of a search in order to find what I was looking for. Or so I thought. I had barely stepped past the base of the stairs when growling filled my ears. From the shadows I caught the glimmer from the tapetum of the dog's eyes. I lowered the gun and waited for the dog to do something. It just stayed back and growled. There was no time to play games with a stray and I was anything but afraid of it. I found the string to the light bulb and turned it on. The dog jerked and bared its teeth but I just frowned at it. Its ribs were clearly visible, a chain wrapped around its neck. I frowned harder and took a step toward it. It was clearly a mutt of some kind but it looked primarily like a pitbull maybe mixed with an American bulldog. It was tall but its head screamed pit to me. It was muscular, I could see them shaking with the dog's fear and anger. It was shorthaired, white with brown patches covering its body. I stared at it before sitting cross-legged on the floor.

"Okay…" I said looking at the dog. "I can only see two options. I need to search this basement to get rid of whatever it was that made your family leave you behind. You can let me take care of it. Get rid of it. Otherwise, I don't see it looking good for you. I need to get the job done but I can't have you attacking me so I will put you down." The dog growled more fiercely. "Okay, not literally." I said putting my hands up. "But I can help you. If you let me I'll fill your tummy and get that chain off your neck." I told it. For a second I thought it wasn't going to back down but then it sat down, its eyes still locked on me. "Good dog." I said standing up. I raised the gun again and looked around. The dog turned its eyes from me to the wall. I moved past the dog but then I felt a paw scratching my leg. I looked down at the dog. It looked back at the same spot on the wall. I frowned but realized that the dog had probably witnessed more then any human. I wasn't sure if it was actually trying to tell me something but I wasn't skeptic enough not to go with it. My instincts were telling me to listen to the dog. I went to the wall and the dog put its front feet on the wall, pressing its nose against a brick. I waited for something to happen but at first nothing did. I lowered the gun and was going to move on when the brick moved. I frowned and when I stepped forward the dog moved back. I moved the brick from the wall and flashed my flashlight into the hole. To my great delight there was a pair of empty eye sockets looking back out at me. I grinned at the dog and quickly pulled brick after brick from the wall. I went to my bag and quickly took the lighter fluid and matches from inside of it. I doused the bones and quickly lit the match, throwing it onto the corpse. I heard the scream upstairs before footsteps.

"Evy?" Adam called from the top of the stairs.

"Be up in a minute." I called back. "Okay." I said looking at the dog. "I don't know what it is about you but this feels right. Like you being here was the way it was supposed to be." It just cocked its head at me. I was sold. "Now, I'm going to take that chain off but you have to promise me that you won't bite me." It gave a short yap. "All right, here we go." I stepped forward and took a look at the chain. It must have been there for quite a while. The chain had cut into its neck. "Shit." I said when I noticed this. "Okay, I don't want you to run off but I don't want to pull on the chain either. You have to just trust me when I tell you that I'm going to get you some help." I told it. When it showed no sign of aggression I tore the chain from the wall they had attached it to and followed as it ran up the stairs.

"What is that smell?" Adam asked as he jumped out of the way.

"A tortured dog who only had a ten foot area to use the bathroom for a least a month." I told him as I followed the dog to the door. I opened it and it ran into the grass. "So you're a girl." I smiled at her.

"Why is it that you can never be without a dog?" He asked.

"What do you mean?" I frowned at him. "I've never had a dog before…that I remember." I added.

"Never mind." He told me.

"She needs help." I told him. "We need to find the nearest vet." He just sighed and nodded. "Thank you."

* * *

We had taken her to the vet and after undergoing some simple surgery to remove the chain that had imbedded into her neck she was the newest addition to the team. She was standoffish and extremely quiet but she needed someone to take care of her and I couldn't bear to bring her to the pound. Dogs like her didn't always make it. Just by the way she looked might have sent her to an early grave. She was barely a few years old and was already spayed. Someone had loved her once. It was sad that her life had taken such a wrong turn. She lay on the bed next to me, only she would leave as soon as I made a move to touch her. I understood her uneasiness. I didn't blame her and I wouldn't push her. She needed time to heal. The only problem with her was her appetite. She was always hungry but due to her long fast she needed to slowly bring her eating back to a healthy level. Four to six small meals a day to let her stomach absorb it but still give her what she needed. I was a sucker and let her sad brown eyes convince me that she needed wet food. For a while it worked. We traveled from town to town and for a while I let her have her wet before I added dry and after little over a month she was on dry and looking much better. Her ribs were barely visible beneath her skin and all around she looked much healthier.

"Bella!" I called when she had wandered too far off. I saw her head poke around a tree and look at me with perked ears. "What do you think you are doing?" I asked her.

"Why do you talk to her like she's a human?" Adam asked.

"Because she's smart." I told him. "Get over here!" I told the dog.

She trotted back to my side and I pulled gently on her ear. It was strange but it felt like I had done this before. I kept trying to remember but nothing came to me. Adam said that my memory may not come back and the more time went on I thought he might be right.

We were walking through a park in Boise Idaho. We were passing through and I needed to stretch my legs. Me and my dog. We stopped at a park to walk and to let Bella play a little. Her favorite was the Frisbee. I was getting better at it but she still didn't seem impressed with my distance. At least I tried.

"I am so sick of hotel rooms." I told him when we checked in to our newest home.

"So let's give up the fight and just get an apartment or a house." Adam replied.

I laughed and just looked at him. "I think our mission is more important."

"Sure." He replied and inched away as Bella walked past him.

"Why do you do that?" I asked him.

"I don't like dogs." He told me.

"You're not allergic are you?" I asked.

He shook his head. "Look at this and maybe you'll understand."

He pulled back his sleeve to show me a line of scars on top of and underneath his forearm. They were clearly teeth marks. There was also another where an incision had been made. I frowned and looked at him for an explanation.

"I was attacked by a dog. It broke my arm, had to have surgery to get the fragments out." He told me.

"Jeez…" I said and gently touched it.

As soon as my fingers touched his arm my head seared with pain. It forced me backward. I sat on the edge of the bed, feeling Bella's paw on my knee. I closed my eyes as I put my head in my hands. Images flashed in front of my eyes. A German shepherd, Adam on the floor…me in a chair. Others things flashed but they were so quick and the pain was so fierce that I couldn't focus on them. When the pain finally dulled I blinked and looked at Bella. Her eyes looked worried. I put my hands on the sides of her head, putting my forehead on top of her head. After a moment I looked up at Adam.

"Did a German shepherd do that to you?" I asked him.

He frowned. "Yeah, how did you know?"

"I just saw it in my head." I said and put my palm to my forehead. "That was weird…yet strangely familiar."

"Hmph." Adam said still frowning.

"I think I've seen that dog before but I don't know from where." I told him. "I wish I could remember." I said putting my head in my hands again.

Just when the throbbing started to die my head seared with a new stream of pain.

_I saw myself sitting in a car, a man sitting next to me. The scene moved quickly to two men in the front then back on me. I watched as a light intensified and then the car was blindsided by a semi. I watched from the outside as the car was forced off the road before finally stopping. The scene moved back into the car where everyone was unconscious. I saw myself lying across the back seat, blood flowing from my side, the trickling filling my ears._

"Ow." I said as the room came back into view. "I don't like this." I said as I laid back on the bed. Bella jumped up and rested her head on my stomach. I put my hand on her neck as I put my other to my head.

"What did you see?" He asked.

"I'm pretty sure it was my death." I told him.

"What?" He asked.

"Yup, car accident. Huge, deep laceration to my side. Bled out on the back seat." I told him.

"Jesus…" He whispered.

"But I wasn't alone." I frowned. "There were three men there. I didn't get a good look at any of them though. Just mainly myself."

Bella moved up to my head and licked my face, leaving a nice patch of drool. I smiled and kissed her muzzle. She got all wiggly and draped herself over my chest, licking my face. I laughed and wrapped my arms around her. Her long whip like tail thumped on the bed. I grinned and grabbed her jowls, gently pulling on the loose skin. I sat up with her in my lap and looked at Adam.

"You look pensive." I told him.

"Sure." He replied.

"Listen, I'm beat. I'm going to go to bed." I told him.

"You're actually tired?" He smiled.

"My head hurts." I replied and crawled under the covers. Bella laid next to me and she groaned a little. One of the only sounds she made. "Night." I said and kissed her head.

I shot awake when my head started to throb. It didn't feel like a vision but the dream was vivid enough. Only it had been of Adam and it didn't show anything good. It showed him using some kind of power. He was using it against someone but I couldn't see who it was before I woke up. Bella was looking at me but she didn't make a sound. I frowned and put my arm around her before trying to get back to sleep. My instincts were telling me something horrible about Adam, I just wasn't sure if I should listen to them.

* * *

**I hope you liked the chapter! More will hopefully be coming soon! Reviews are always appreciated! =]**


	6. Fight or Flight

**Disclaimer: Nothing from Supernatural is mine.**

**A/N: Here is the next chapter. Sorry it took so long to update. But hopefully you'll think the wait not wasted. Enjoy! =]**

_**

* * *

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_**Chapter Six: Fight or Flight**_

The dreams didn't stop but the painful visions were less frequent. Most were of me standing in a never ending field of yellow wildflowers. I walked through the sunlit field before stopping, something catching my eye. I looked and a man was standing just a few yards away from me. He was blurred. I rubbed my eyes and looked for him again. He was gone. I turned and he was directly behind me. He just stared at me with a longing that pulled me toward him. I asked him who he was but he didn't say a word. He was about to put his hand to my face when I shot awake. Bella looked at me before going back to sleep. I ran my hand down the length of her body before lying back, staring at the ceiling. Why was he always there? Why was he always in my dreams? Why was he important? Or was he important? So many questions that my mind wouldn't let me answer, but the answer was there. It was in my head, all I had to do was try and pull it out. I spent the rest of the night trying to do just that. I sat at the table trying to think. Thinking of his face and trying to remember who he was. I pulled a pad and paper toward me, doodling on it. I pictured the man from my dream and started to draw him on the paper. I didn't know I could, but his face appeared on the lined paper in front of me. I shrugged and started to draw more. Filling page after page of drawings. Some things I remembered and others that came from no where. I never went back to bed. I drew for the remainder of the night. By the time the sun rose I had no more answers then I had before. I took a long hot shower and by the time I came out Adam was already up and gone. Didn't know where but I wasn't going to wait around for him. I sat in front of his laptop looking up everything I could that might lead to someone that needed our "special" help. I found a series of odd deaths in Manhattan, Montana. It was somewhat curious and I thought that there was enough there to entail a look into. I filled Adam in when he got back and we were on the road again.

"Bella, shut up." I told the dog who was continuously whining in the backseat. "Cooper wasn't ever this whiny." I added.

"I don't think she likes the car very much." Adam told me.

"Well, she'd better get used to –" I started and then stopped. "Cooper?" I said and thought a moment.

"Do you think she gets car sick?" He asked.

"Pull over." I told him.

"What?" He said looking at me.

"Pull over." I repeated. He did and I got out, quickly opening the back for Bella. "Come on sweetie." I told her.

She jumped out and ran into the grass. She relieved herself before starting to frantically eat some grass. I sighed and let her, knowing that her stomach was upset. I smiled when she sat in front of me, looking at me with perked ears and a cocked head. She nudged my hand and I stroked her head before leading her back to the car. She jumped in and settled herself in. I got back in and we were once again on our way. I felt bad for her. In the next town I made Adam stop and I picked up a big fuzzy blanket, hoping that maybe if she had something to lie in and surround herself with that she might be more comfortable. It seemed to work as she made herself a hole just big enough for her curled up body. She slept the rest of the way.

When we finally got to town I was so eager to get out of the car that Bella and I set off right away to do a little recon. I made Adam stay at the hotel and I made my way through town. It was nice to see mountains. I liked them more then I thought. I sighed and smiled as we walked. Bella's tail was continuously moving, her nose smelling everything. I smiled and rubbed her sides. I moved from the main streets to the alleys. I was hoping that something would show up. Something supernatural that I could play with. Why did I think of it that way? Why wasn't I afraid? I hoped it was just a vengeful spirit of some kind. Maybe a zombie, or a witch…or something. I was starting to come up with some pretty wild scenarios when I heard brisk footsteps behind me. I took no time in quickening my own pace as we continued down. Soon there was more then one and I was all for defending myself. Soon I heard them running. Bella's hackles rose but as usual she didn't make a sound. She looked to the left and I quickly ran down the alley. She was ahead of me. A moment later the footfalls were even closer behind me. I quickly stopped and spun, grabbing the gun that was hidden in the back of my jeans in the process. I cocked the gun as the two of them stopped in front of me, both had their arms raised.

"Why are you following me?" I asked them.

"Evy?" The one closest to me said surprised. "It's me."

"Me who?" I asked. "Who are you?"

"It's me. Baby, why don't you know me?" He asked his face pained.

"I'm not playing games. Now who the hell are you?" I demanded.

"Dean." He told me.

His face flashed behind my eyes. Remembering my dreams, I took note of his face. He looked so hurt. But I wasn't going to let my guard down. "Why are you haunting me?" I asked him.

"Haunting you?" He said taken aback.

"How is this possible?" The other man asked.

"And who are you?" I asked looking at him.

"Sam." He replied. "Winchester. You know us. You know our dad." He stated, pain also written across his face.

"I don't know any Winchesters." I said and turned away from them.

"Wait…" The one known as Dean said grabbing my arm.

I quickly punched his cheekbone. "Don't touch me!" I told him.

"Evy, please…" He said pleadingly. "Baby, please…"

"Stop calling me that!" I yelled at him. "I don't even know you."

"Yes you do." Dean told me determinedly.

"The only place I know you from are my dreams." I told him. "Why do I keep dreaming about you?"

"Because you know me." He said grabbing my arms. "Look at me." He said giving me a sharp shake.

I leaned away from him but I looked at him. There was something familiar there but I couldn't place it. I was trying really hard to place it but there was nothing. I was about to pull away from him when my head started to throb.

_I saw the two of them in a house. The walls were white and bare but on the kitchen table there was a five course meal that was full of maggots and flies. Clearly the work of witches. They moved through the house but the house was empty. They raided the house and found several books as well as a box of supplies hidden in the back of the closet. They didn't stay long._

I blinked as the vision ended. I was on my knees and Dean still had his hands on my arms. I looked at him and he moved his hands to the sides of my head.

"What did you see?" He asked.

"You two…wait, how did you know I saw something?" I asked.

"Because I know you." He told me. "I love you." He said with sad eyes. "Why don't you remember me? How are you alive?" He asked quickly.

"Get away from me." I said pulling away from him.

"Hey!" I heard a voice yell. I turned to see Bella with Adam. She had gotten him. "Get away from her!"

"Riley…" Dean said with distain.

"Riley?" I said. "His name is Adam." I frowned putting my hand to my head.

"What did you do to her?" Dean roared as he grabbed Adam by the shirt.

"Get off of me." Adam said and with a flick of his wrist Dean was pinned against the wall.

"Stop it!" I said and went to Adam. "Let's just go." I said gently pushing him. "Please…" I said when he didn't move.

He dropped his hand and Dean was released. I pushed on him and started to walk down the alley. Adam followed and I moved into a run. Bella was at my side. I looked behind me and both were looking at me with hurt looks. There was something familiar about them but I had other problems to worry about. Adam could do more then he had let on. If I was ever confused since I was reborn I was really confused now. My head was swimming with what I could only assume were memories. They weren't showing me what I wanted to know. We ran the way back to the room and I paced as Adam sat at the table watching me.

"How the hell did you do that?" I finally asked him. He just looked at me. "How did you pin him against the wall? Why aren't you afraid of what I can do? You're never surprised about anything weird that goes on and why did he call you Riley?" I rambled off.

"I must remind him of whoever Riley is." He replied. "And I have a gift just like you. I just don't like to use it."

"Why not?" I asked him.

"Because I got a little scary for a while. I picked the wrong side, but I'm better now." He replied.

"Riley…" I said furrowing my brows. "It means something. I just don't know what it is."

"It's okay. We'll get out of town. Move on. They're probably on a job too so we probably aren't needed here." He told me.

"How do you know that?" I asked him.

"What do you mean?" He countered.

"I saw them in the home of a witch. She must be here. But why would you think that they're on a job? You know them don't you?" I asked him.

"No. They just look like hunters to me." He replied.

"This is very confusing." I said putting my head in my hands as I sat on the edge of the bed. Bella put her head in my lap and I kissed it.

"It'll work itself out." Adam told me softly. "I just have to make amends."

"For what?" I asked him. He just looked at me. "Adam, I know we don't know each other very well but you can't keep hiding things from me." He just nodded. I sighed and was about to keep going when my head started to hurt.

_The white walled house came into view. There was a small table littered with candles and an open book. A woman was kneeling at it. Some symbol was painted on the table with a bowl in the middle of it. She added a series of ingredients to the bowl before bringing out a doll and placing it into the bowl. A moment later the door burst open. Dean and Sam rushed into the room. They fought her and soon she was dead._

It faded and I sat up. They were getting easier and easier to take. In the vision it was after dark. I looked outside and the sun was setting but it was still there. I stood and put the gun in its place before going to the door.

"Where are you going?" Adam asked.

"We have a witch to kill. Are you coming?"

"Yeah." He said and followed me.

* * *

The house was easy to find. Only when we got there it was too late. I heard crashing in the house and quickly ran in. I pushed open the door, my gun raised. Sam was pinned to the wall by the witch, struggling against her. I couldn't see Dean. I sidestepped into the room and let loose three shots, watching her fall to the ground. Sam was rubbing his neck watching me with wide eyes. I quickly moved to him. I put my hand on his jaw line and used my thumb to lift his chin. I examined his neck. There was bruising but he would be fine.

"Are you okay?" I asked. He nodded. "Where's Dean?" I asked. He glanced around the room. I did the same and saw his feet from under the destroyed dining table. "Shit." I said and ran to the table. Sam helped me move it off of him. He was unconscious. I rolled him into my arms. His head was bleeding. I used my sleeve to stop it. "Dean, can you hear me?" He didn't move. "Dean, wake up." I said sternly. His brows furrowed and he opened his eyes. "There you are." I told him with a small smile. "Good thing I came to the rescue. You two obviously can't handle it."

"Evy…" He said and put his hand on my cheek.

A jolt moved through me and I quickly moved out from underneath him. I stood and turned away from him. "Don't do that." I told him sadly.

"Why not?" He asked standing.

"Evy?" I heard Adam say.

"Did you just come in here?" I asked him. He nodded. "And where were you when the three of us were fighting. I thought you were right behind me?"

"No, I stayed in the car with Bella." He replied.

Bella came trotting into the room, coming up to me. She sat in front of me and looked up, resting the tip of her muzzle against me. I smiled and stroked her gently. I looked back at Adam, seeing the coward I had been ignoring up until now.

"Riley…" Dean said moving to my side.

"Why do you think he's this Riley?" I asked him.

"Why don't you remember?" Dean asked me, the same pain I had seen before showing up again.

"What am I supposed to be remembering? Who do you think I am?" I asked him.

"You're Evy Rose Connors. You were engaged to Jim before he was killed in Iraq. My father came to you not long after your visions started. You traveled with him and then saved me and my brother. You traveled with us briefly before you left. You got a German shepherd named Cooper and together we all fought the demons in the world." He told me and paused. "We fell in love." He said softly. Stepping toward me. "We fell in love and we're crazy about each other."

"And Riley?" I asked and glanced at Adam.

"Riley is this man." Dean said pointing at him. "He is working with the yellow eyed demon. He is working with him and he has been nothing but trouble. He tried to kill me and he tried to kill you. You were about to kill him when you saved me. He's evil." He told me.

I took it all in. Not knowing what else I could do. Pieces of what Dean told me made sense. They fit with what I had seen. The puzzle that was my life. I ran my fingers through my hair and looked at my dog. I nodded again and left the house. I heard plenty of footsteps after me. I stopped and turned. All three of them were watching me.

"This feels familiar." I smiled as I looked at them. "Dean…" I said meeting his eyes. "I don't remember being with you. I don't remember anything before I dug myself out of my own grave." I told him.

"You what?" He asked.

"Evy…" Sam said just after him.

Sam looked at me sadly but Dean's eyes moved to Adam. He was looking at him in such an evil maddened way that I instinctively moved to him. "Don't…" I said grabbing his arm. Dean looked at me and held his ground. His arm was shaking underneath my hand. "Why are you so angry?" I asked him.

"What did you do to her?" He shot at Adam. "What did you do?" He asked annunciating each word and lunged at him.

"Hey! Hey!" I said trying to hold him back. "He didn't do anything to me." I told him, feeling the need to comfort him. I took a few steps back and looked at him.

"Where did you meet him?" Dean asked me.

"He was there when I got out." I replied.

He looked at the ground and nodded. I didn't have time to intercede this time. He lunged at Adam, throwing him to the ground. I just watched. My mind was starting to swim. Sam pulled his brother off. They all stood there. Three different corners of this weird pyramid. I didn't know what to do. I felt dizzy and before I knew it the sky was all I could see before everything went black.


	7. Understanding

**Disclaimer: The usual.**

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* * *

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_**Chapter Seven: Understanding**_

_I listen to our favorite song_

_Playing on the radio_

_Hear the dj say loves a game _

_Of easy come and easy go_

_But I wonder does he know_

_Has he ever felt like this?_

_And I know that you'd be here right now_

_If I could have let you know somehow_

_Every rose has its thorn_

_Just like every night has its dawn_

_Just like every cowboy sings his sad, sad song_

_Every rose has its thorn_

Nightmares plagued my mind as I remained unconscious. Only I knew that they weren't nightmares. I knew that they were real and that they meant something. I was supposed to remember these things. They were important to the way things were. I had to remember these things so I could learn and do better. When my eye lids finally fluttered open I knew who I was. I knew who they were. I knew what the Winchesters meant to me. Most importantly I now knew that Adam was Riley. The same Riley that I had every intention of killing. Only everything was different. _I_ was different. It wasn't just the memories I had from when I was alive but I remembered heaven. I remembered everything that happened there.

I was alone in the hotel room. I stood up and looked around. Even Bella wasn't there. I felt guilty thinking about her. Cooper had just died. I had spent time with him in heaven only to be brought back and end up with another one who was less desirable and less useful. I frowned and looked around. I caught my reflection in the mirror and stared into it. I sighed and grabbed my jacket before going to the door, listening before opening it. I quickly moved away from the room, leaving the door ajar. The impala wasn't in site and I could only hope that Dean was killing Riley as I thought about doing just that. I broke into a run as I lead myself away from the hotel. Not knowing where I was going or what I was doing but I couldn't face them. Not yet. I was configuring a plan when I saw the one person I was able to face.

"You!" I yelled when I saw him.

"Evy?" He asked. "What is it?"

"Riley! I am going to kill you!" I said and quickly moved toward him.

"Wait! What?" He asked. "I'm not…" He said and stopped. "Shit!"

"Riley!" I yelled and ran as he turned to flee.

"Let me explain!" He yelled with me right on his heels.

"I should have killed you when I had the chance!" I yelled as I tackled him to the ground.

That was when the punching and kicking started. The hair grabbing and pummeling. I was only encouraged as his skin began to inflame around his eyes and blood was nearly pouring from his nose and mouth.

"What did you do to me?" I yelled at him. "Why couldn't I remember?"

"Let…me explain." He got out between blows.

I yelled out and kicked him hard in the abdomen before taking a step back. "Explain." I said flatly. "Riley, you're not talking." I stated when he didn't say anything. He remained silent as he slowly got to his feet. I was about to start the pummeling again when my waist was grabbed. "Get off of me!" I yelled fighting whoever it was. I was let go and I whipped around to come face to face with Dean. "Dean…hi." I said and took a step back. "Riley here was about to explain why I'm back from the dead." I told him and turned to Riley. "So start talking." I told Riley.

Dean's face grew hard and he grabbed Riley by the shirt, pulling him toward his face. "You heard her."

"Alright! Alright." He said and Dean released him. "I made a deal." He said taking a step back.

"You made a deal?" I repeated flabbergasted. "You made _a deal_?"

"Yes." Riley told me. "I felt guilty about you dying. I couldn't bare the thought so I did something about it."

"A crossroads demon." Dean stated. Riley confirmed it with a nod. "Why?"

"Because she's Evy!" Riley yelled. "You can't tell me that you wouldn't do the same thing."

Dean didn't say anything. I looked at him before Riley. "Why couldn't I remember anything?" I asked him.

"Yeah, wait… couldn't?" Dean asked looking at me.

I met his eyes, my mind still reeling from everything that had happened. "I remember now." I told him.

"Everything?" Sam asked, speaking for the first time.

I looked at him and said, "Everything."

"Evy?" Dean said stepping up to me.

"Later." I frowned at him. I looked at Riley as he attempted to take a few steps back. "Keep going or I swear you will never speak again because I'll have ripped out your tongue."

"I told her to make you forget." Riley said quickly. "When I had her bring you back I asked if she could do it. She brought you back and I wasn't sure if you remembered or not but you didn't. So I gave you a fake name hoping that maybe…" He said and trailed off.

"Oh God." I said looking at him. "OH GOD!" I said and ran my fingers through my hair. "You've _got_ to be kidding me!" I practically screamed at him. "There is no way in _hell_ I would ever do anything with you."

"Yeah, I got that." He told me coldly.

"So your plan backfired." Sam stated.

"Yeah." Riley nodded. "She couldn't remember anything but she still did everything like she would have. She even managed to find a frickin dog." He told them.

"And now I remember. I knew I shouldn't trust you but I couldn't remember why. Now I do and you are going to an early grave." I told him.

"No." Sam said stepping next to me. "Let him go." He put his hand on my arm.

"What?" I asked him unbelievingly.

"I think he's suffered enough and letting him live will make it worse. He'll be running, looking over his shoulder for you." Sam replied.

Riley took this moment to run. I jerked as if to follow him but managed to control myself enough to stop. I watched him disappear before realizing that Bella wasn't here. "Where's the dog?" I asked them. Dean and Sam looked at each other before looking at me. "Well?" They shrugged but didn't say anything. "Fine." I said and rolled my eyes. "Bella!" I called. "Bell!" A moment later she came into view. I smiled and squatted. "There you are." I said as she came up to me. I ran my hands down her sides and kissed her head. "Good girl."

"Where did you get her?" Dean asked.

"We were in a house that a vengeful spirit was haunting and she was tied in the basement. The chain she had on was imbedded in her neck. The people who had lived there had abandoned the place and left her behind. The bastards." I said as I stroked her.

"Evy?" Dean said cautiously.

"Don't say my name like that." I told him as I stood and faced him. I looked at them who were both looking at me with worried expressions. "Don't look at me like that." I frowned.

Only the next second Dean had his arms around me. For a moment I didn't know what to think. I wished I could feel what they wanted me to feel. I wished everything felt the same. That everything was normal. But it wasn't. It wasn't normal and it didn't feel the same. When I just stood there Dean released me but his hands remained on my arms.

"Baby?" He said softly.

"I'm sorry." I said looking at the ground. "I'm sorry." I repeated and quickly moved past him.

"Evy, wait." He said following me.

"I can't do this right now." I frowned not meeting his eyes.

"Please?" He said stepping in front of me.

I stopped and sighed. I put my hands on his neck, running my thumb along his jaw line. His eyes closed and a painful yet relieved expression crossed his face. I felt the tears in my eyes. I gently kissed his forehead. He opened his eyes and looked at me…hoping.

"Honey, I'm sorry." I told him. "I can't do this right now." I said and ran my hand across his chest as I walked around him.

I knew this was hurting him but I had to be alone for a while. I had to think about what this all meant. Now that I knew who I was and knew what happened I was thrown back. I didn't know what the next step was or what I should do. I didn't feel bound to this world anymore. I had made my peace. I had died and gone to heaven. I had been in a place where you felt whole and fulfilled. I had my heaven and even when it was gray and bleak I was still whole and complete. It was the way it was supposed to be. I had been happy even when I was trying to fight it. I had tried my hardest to deny the power of heaven but there's no running from it. Now I was back and I was lost and confused. The urge to do what was right was still there but my connection to the world was fragile and incomplete. The one person I needed more than anyone was here. He was here and he wanted me to reunite in a way that I wanted more then anything but…things were different. I felt different. I didn't know how to push it aside. To look at this world full of demons and not wish for the tranquility of heaven. I had been ripped out of there. I had been grabbed and torn from the place I was meant to be in. I suddenly felt fractured. I needed to be mended but in order for that to happen I would have to let him in. I didn't know if I could do that.

I went back to the room and closed the door. My things were there but they didn't feel like my things. These were things that _Riley_ had given me money for. I suddenly felt so angry. The first thing to go was the sign. I didn't want it anymore. The table lamp was next. Then the chairs. My eyes soon blurred with tears and I could barely recognize the screaming that was coming from my own mouth. When I was done I was left shaking in a corner. Something that was also familiar. As I sat there something I hadn't remembered came to me. Fresh tears and broken sobs came with the memory of seeing John. He was dead and in Hell. I would never see him again. He was gone and I was partially to blame for that. I could have done more at the warehouse. I could have done more but I didn't. It had fallen apart after that. Leading to the accident and his sacrifice. I was aware when the brothers came in. Both looked worried and scared. I looked at them before running my fingers through my hair. I looked away in an attempt to hide my tear stained face. I glanced at them and even Bella wouldn't come to me. I closed my eyes and shook my head.

"I need to be alone right now." I told them.

"No." Dean said forcefully.

I frowned at him. "Dean, please. I need to wrap my head around all of this."

"All of what?" He asked.

"Of being _alive_!" I yelled as I stood in one fluent movement. "I'm _alive_ again! I'm supposed to be dead! I _died_ and went to heaven! I'm not supposed to be here!" Both just looked at me. I shook my head and paced as I tried to control the pain in my head. "I was dead." I said calmer. "I was dead long enough for me to get used to the idea. You have no idea what it's like." They remained silent; I sighed and rubbed my forehead. "How long was I dead?" I asked them.

"How long have you been alive?" Sam asked.

"Nearly two months." I replied.

"That son of a bitch." Dean whispered.

"You were dead for a little over three months." Sam told me.

"How long was it for you?" Dean asked.

I looked at him and tried to even put it into words. "Longer." Was the only word for it.

"I'm sorry." He told me softly.

"Don't be." I told him. "There is nothing to be sorry for. It wasn't a bad place."

"I'm still sorry." He told me.

"The only thing you need to be sorry for is Riley being the one to raise me." I said looking at him. My tone was colder then I had intended it to be. He looked hurt. My eyes blurred and I blinked the tears back as I frowned at him. "Did you even try?" I asked him. "If Riley could do it then all I can think is that you didn't even try." My voice broke with every word.

"Of course I tried." He frowned stepping toward me. I took a step back. He looked at the ground, nodding. "I tried, Evy. I didn't go to a crossroad but I went to every healer. I tried finding a witch, a demon, a spirit…" He said and just looked at me. "I tried _everything_ I could think of. But at some point I had to face the fact that you were gone and there was nothing I could do about it." He told me. It was written all over his face that he was telling the truth and that it hurt him more then he could say.

I closed my eyes and shook my head. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have jumped to any conclusions." I said and rubbed my brow. "Dean, I'm sorry." I said and looked at him. I saw him make to move toward me but stopped. "I'm sorry." I said again. "I'm just not ready." I told him. "I just remembered my life after months of not knowing who I was. I just need a little time."

Both of them nodded. Dean just stared at me. "We're here for you, Evy." Sam told me sweetly.

Little was said after that. There wasn't anything that could be said. I wasn't going to have a heart to heart talk about heaven. I had to face the fact that I was alive again. Alive and in the world of demons and monsters. I was a hunter again and I would have to fight the good fight. Knowing what lies on the other side. But I also had to be a person again. I had to find my place in a world that no longer felt like mine. I looked at the brothers and wished that I could just forget everything that happened. Forget heaven and Riley. Forget what it meant, knowing what I know. But I couldn't forget and it couldn't be the same. My eyes locked with Dean's and the longer I looked at him the flicker I was hoping for sputtered but it was too soon to tell if it would be the same between us. I just hoped that he would have the patience to wait for me to be ready again. But the love I had for him was still there. That would never go away. As I looked at them I also thought of their mother. I had met her and had gotten to know her. I wanted to share that with them. When I was ready I would share that with them. Tell them how much their mother loves them. How she feels them from time to time. Someday I would be ready to talk about it. I would tell them what heaven was like and I would let them back in. But for now I needed to be a closed book. I needed to straighten all of this out in my head before I dare let anyone else in.

* * *

I said my goodbyes to her, knowing that I would never see her again. It was the right thing to do. After remembering what had happened to Cooper I knew that it was better this way. She needed more then I could give her right now. It had been easy finding her a forever home. Leaving my number with the new owners. I told them to call me if they ended up being unable to keep her and I'd come get her again. They told me there wouldn't be a problem but that they would do as I asked. It was short and sweet. Bella licked my face but was just as happy being with her new family. Newlyweds who had just gotten a house with a nice big fenced in yard. She would be all right and knowing that was enough for me.

"Are you going to be okay?" Dean asked me.

"I'm fine." I told him.

"You didn't have to give her up you know." He stated.

"I don't have time to worry about a dog right now. I couldn't stand watching another dog get torn apart because of me. Cooper's gone." I said looking at him. "That was enough for me."

He put his arm across my shoulders. I sighed and leaned into him. He kissed my hair. This was as close we had been since I was reunited with them. I wasn't ready for more. But I was fighting the urge to hoard away in some small dark room. I was fighting for myself but also fighting for him. I stopped him when we got to the car. He frowned and looked at me. I put my arms around his neck. His moved around me and for a moment he was careful but his grip tightened. I furrowed my brows as I ran my hand down the back of his head. He was the first to let go. He smiled as he opened the passenger door. I slid in and looked at Sam in the backseat. I smiled and put my hand out to him. He took it and moved forward putting his arms around my neck from behind. I smiled as he kissed my cheek.

"Thank you." I told him softly.

"For what?" He asked resting his head against mine.

"Everything." I told him.

"Then you're welcome." He smiled and kissed my cheek again before sitting back.

"Where to?" I asked Dean.

"Where do you want to go?" He asked.

"Where did you bury your dad?" I countered. They exchanged a glance. I sighed and looked at my hands. "You burned him?" I asked. They nodded.

"Evy…" Dean said frowning.

"It's okay, Dean." I said softly, taking his hand. "It's okay."

"No, it's not." He said looking at me sadly. "He shouldn't have done what he did. He should be here right now."

"Then you wouldn't be here. He had every right to do what he did." I replied. Only then realized that they didn't know I knew. Dean was frowning at me. "I know what he did." I said averting his eyes.

"How?" Sam asked.

I looked at them before looking out the window. "Never mind." I said resting my head against it.

They didn't push it and soon the impala was pulling away from the house. We drove the remainder of the day with no destination in mind. It didn't bother me though. I had enough to think about, or rather, not think about. It was harder then it looked and the weight of it all was starting to appear. The more I tried to fight against it the more it wanted to pour out. The more I thought about it the more I realized that it needed to be told. I needed to unload and maybe some kind of normalcy would return with it.

"I saw him." I said as we sat in the room. I immediately heard the cease of whatever it was that they were doing. I sat against the headboard and didn't look at them while I talked. I didn't think I'd be able to get it out if I watched their faces. "I had been in heaven for quite some time. I don't know exactly how much. Time didn't mean anything there." I said and paused. "Anyway, I know your dad had died and know why because I saw him. He was there for only a second before…" I said and shut my eyes. I couldn't say the words. "He had to leave. He made a decision. He had to do it. I know he had to do it." I said and opened my eyes. Tears slid down my cheeks and I finally looked at them. "He did it for you." I told Dean. "He did it for you and that's the way he wanted it. He knew what he was doing. He couldn't let you die." I said and paused. "I would have done the same thing. You can't blame him or yourself for what happened. You're alive. It hurts like hell to know that he's dead but it helps to know that it was what he wanted. He knew what he was giving up. He knew what it meant but he did it anyway to save his son. I love him for that. I'll always love him for sacrificing himself the way he did. And we'll see him again. He'll find a way out." I told him. "If you had died too…" I said and shook my head.

"I would have been with you." He told me.

I looked at him. His words hurt more then they helped. "Don't say that." I told him.

"Why not?" He asked.

"Do you remember…seeing me?" I asked. He nodded slowly. "Do you remember what I told you?" He nodded again. "It doesn't matter where I am or where your dad is. You're alive. That's what matters."

"I don't know if it matters as much as you think it does." He replied softly.

"Why can't you understand that there is nothing more important to me then you?" I asked him. "When it came to what mattered to your dad you are one of two."

"Three." Sam stated.

I smiled at him, "Thanks, Sammy." He smiled back. "Dean…" I said furrowing my brows. "I may not be exactly who I used to be but I am starting to be more me then I was before. If that makes any sense." I said and paused. "But the way I feel about you will never change." I said meeting his eyes. "There is nothing more important to me then you. Sorry Sam."

"It's okay." Sam said nodding.

I gave a short laugh before pulling my knees up against me, the smile gone. I felt their eyes looking at me with that worried look. I took a deep breath, letting it out slowly. I kept my eyes on the bed as I continued. "There's more." I told them. "I ran into someone in heaven. I almost couldn't believe it when it happened but uh…" I said and paused. "She's fantastic." I said and looked at them. "I can see her in both of you as I look at you now." I could tell that they knew who I was talking about. "I don't want to cause you pain by talking about this but I need to talk about it. I need to tell you what I saw. What I experienced. I need you to understand what it was like."

"You saw her?" Dean asked.

"Spent quite a bit of time with her actually." I told him.

"How?" Sam asked me.

"It was when your dad passed. I could feel him. I knew that something had happened to him. I knew that he was coming. I can't explain how it all works but I ended up in your house in Lawrence. John came down the steps only Mary was there waiting for him. It was very brief. After I realized what was going on I was shocked we saw him at all. I don't know what the deal entailed but he was there. Just the briefest of moments." I said and furrowed my brows. I cleared my throat. "Anyway, when he had left I was left with your mother. We ended up talking for hours, or maybe it was days, I don't know. We talked until she knew everything about me and I knew almost everything about her. She kept her death and other things very guarded. I didn't push her on it so I never did learn exactly what happened that night. But we were close. As close as two dead women can be." I said and looked at them. "Remember to breath guys." I told them. They nodded but stared at me unblinkingly. "Cooper was there too." I told them and smiled. "He was such a good dog. I'm going to miss him."

"At least now you can." Sam stated.

"And uh…" Dean said and fidgeted a little. "What about Jim? Was he there?" He asked and threw me his charming half smile.

I gave a short laugh and grinned at him. "Yes, Jim was there." I told him.

He raised his brows at me and said, "And?" I grinned at him without saying anything. "I knew it. I just knew it." He said looking all upset.

"Hey…" I said getting up. I put my hands on the sides of his head. "And…nothing happened." I told him.

"Really?" He asked putting his hands on my forearms. "You two didn't have some fabulous reunion in heaven?"

I grinned and for the first time since I'd been back I kissed him. It was perfect. "There is only one man for me." I said and kissed him again, my arms wrapping around his neck.

"Are you sure?" Dean asked quietly.

"Honey, you are all I want." I smiled and kissed him again. "That feels nice." I told him.

"Are you ready for this?" He asked.

"I think I can handle kissing. The rest will come soon enough." I said and kissed him hard and deep. "See, I'm nearly me again. You're the reason for that." I said and ran my hand across his chest as I made my way to the door. "I'm going to get some air." I told them before slipping out.

I took a deep breath as I walked toward the picnic area of the hotel. The air was somewhat cool but not enough to make me want to go back. I sat atop the picnic table and looked up at the stars. They were truly beautiful. I smiled and closed my eyes as a breeze blew against me. When I opened my eyes he was there. I hadn't seen him in a long time. I glared at him but didn't say anything.

"Heard you were back in the game." He smiled his yellow eyes focusing on me.

"Yeah, thanks for killing me." I told him sarcastically with a big smile.

"Yes, well, that was unfortunate." He replied.

"Don't sound so upset." I told him, a nervous twang in my stomach.

"It doesn't matter now. You're back in the land of the living." He said with a small smile.

"Okay, look…" I said averting my eyes. "I didn't come back to life to hear sentiments from the demon I've been trying to kill for over a year now." I told him.

"Sentiments aren't quite what I was going for." He told me.

"I'm not stupid –" I said but cut myself off. "You know, what is your name?"

He laughed. "You are one on a list of few to ask me that." He told me. "Who may survive it." He added with a smile.

"So are you going to tell me?" I asked.

"All right." He said with a grin. He straightened up in front of me before he bowed toward me. "Azazel, at your service." He told me.

I nodded. "At my service?" I asked. "Does that mean I can tell you something and you'll listen to me?" He just looked at me. I sighed and got off the table, stepping up to him. "You've played with me, you've hurt me, and you've even killed me. Now that I'm back from the dead my goal is the same as it was. I _will _kill you." I told him.

He just grinned at me. "You know, I thought you would be a little more tactful." He told me. "I thought you would have come asking me about Riley."

"Now why would I do that?" I asked him.

"Isn't there anything you want to know?" He asked.

"So, you usually keep track of my little group, right?" I asked. He just looked at me. "Did you know that Riley stripped me of my memories when he brought me back from the dead? Did you know that he was lying to me about who he was? He let me believe that he was some stranger and even though he knew me and who I belonged with he kept me away from the Winchesters. He wanted me to be with him. He wanted me in ways he was never going to get me. Whether I had my memories or not." I told him quickly. "So I want you to tell me whether you intend on killing him or not." He didn't say anything. "So your plans involve him being alive?" I asked. "Does it even matter?"

"Everything matters." He told me.

"Why?" I asked.

"Because we're all connected. Everything we do matters in the outcome of all our lives." He told me. "What I do today will affect you. What Riley does will affect you. Whether it's today or tomorrow."

"I don't agree with that." I told him. "The sooner Riley dies the better."

"Maybe." He grinned. "You died. What did that do for the world?" He asked.

"It motivated some and destroyed others." I replied. "Why did you make that deal with John?" I asked.

"Because we both had something to gain." He replied.

"His son would live and you got the colt." I stated.

"Yes." He told me. I nodded but kept my eyes on the ground. "For what it's worth, Evy, I'm glad you're not dead."

"Don't say that." I told him my body gave a shiver with distain. "You're an evil son of a bitch." I told him, my tone harsh.

"Yes, but even demons have feelings." He replied.

"Go share them with someone else." I told him taking several steps back.

He smiled sadly at me. I was about to turn away when a shot rang out and it hit him square in the chest. He looked past me and soon Dean was at my side.

"Dean Winchester, how the heck are ya?" He asked cheerfully.

"Ready to send you to Hell." Dean replied.

"And how do you plan on doing that?" He asked.

"Don't worry, we _will_ get the colt back." He said taking a step toward him.

"Sure you will." He grinned at Dean. "I think I'll take my leave for now. Just had to welcome the lovely Evy back to the living." He grinned at Dean before walking away.

I took a deep breath and looked up at Dean. His face was hard and he didn't look at me until yellow-eyes was out of site. I smiled and put my hand on his cheek. I kissed him gently before turning back to the room.

"What did he want?" Dean asked.

"To be a pain in my ass. The damn demon wanted to see me alive and well." I replied. "And tried to be all…I don't know. It was nothing, as usual." I said sitting on the bed.

"Are you okay?" Sam asked.

I nodded, "Yup. Just another day in the life of Evy Connors."

* * *

**A/N: Yay! Another chapter! Hope you like! Reviews would be awesome!**


	8. Normalcy

_**Chapter Eight: Normalcy**_

When I woke up Dean was tracing the scares on my hand. He was frowning as he focused on them. I knew that he probably knew where I got them from. I didn't want him to think about it. It was something that happened. I didn't have a choice in the matter. But I couldn't bear to have him think about me digging myself out of my grave.

"What was it like?" He asked softly as he continued to trace the white lines on my hand.

"I don't want you to think about it." I told him.

He put his hand over mine and looked at me. "How can I not think about it?" He asked. "You're all I think about. While you were gone…" He said and shook his head. "I was miserable. I thought about what you went through every day. Where you were, what you were thinking, did you miss me…?" He said and trailed off looking away from me.

I frowned at him. "Baby, look at me." I told him. He looked at me but looked like he was hurting. "I missed you every day. I wish you could understand the depths of my despair when I first arrived in heaven. I missed you every second of every day. I longed for you so much that I built myself a house and one room was completely devoted to you. I painted you every day and I used to stand in that room and turn in a circle just to put your face in my mind. Every expression. And you wanna know something?" I asked him. He nodded as he ran his fingers through my hair. "When I was talking to your mom…all I could talk about was you. I think she may have started to get sick of it but she never said anything. I felt bad because I didn't talk about Sam enough or John enough. Even in heaven, all my focus was on you. Just as it has been for a very long time now." I told him. "So what do you think about that?" I smiled.

He moved his face closer to mine. "Well, I think you're whipped." He told me.

I laughed and hit his chest. He laughed and kissed me passionately. I was in one of his shirts and soon I felt his hand on my thigh, squeezing it gently. I felt my body shiver. I kissed him harder, grabbing his arms as he rolled on top of me. His hands found my thighs and he pulled me against him. I wrapped my arms around his neck as I cemented my lips to his. I arched my body against his as he started to rock against me. I moaned as his lips moved down my jaw line to my neck. I loved that. It was one of the best feelings in the world. I gripped his hair as my fingers gripped his back, digging into his skin. I yelled out and after several minutes we started to relax. He laid on top of me. I kissed his shoulder as my knees gripped his sides. He supported himself and looked down at me. I smiled and he kissed me sweetly. I smiled wider, kissing him again.

"Now that felt normal." I told him.

"Did it live up to your expectations?" He asked.

"Since when have I ever had expectations about our sex?" I asked him.

"Since you died and went to heaven. There everything is perfect, isn't it?"

I grinned at him. "It's only perfect if you want it to be." I told him. "But you want to know what's even more perfect then heaven?" I grinned at him.

"What?" He grinned back.

"You." I told me.

"Evy…" He said rolling off of me.

I rolled on top of him. "I'm completely serious." I told him. "I am madly in love with you. Heaven was perfect in its own way but you are far more perfect and so is that sex we just had. Why can't you see your own worth?" I asked him seriously.

"I don't know. I guess I'm just modest." He told me. I laughed; maybe a little harder then was needed, and rolled off of him. "What?" He said laughing with me.

"I love you, you know that?" I grinned and kissed him deeply.

"It's good to have you back." He replied.

I met his eyes and held them for a moment before saying, "It's good to be back."

"You know…" He said and turned toward his pants on the floor. I frowned curiously and when he rolled back my pentagram was dangling from his hand.

"Dean…" I smiled and took the pendant in my fingers. "I thought I lost this."

"Yeah, Sam took it off of you at the morgue." He told me.

"The morgue?" I asked him.

A sad expression crossed his face. "That's where they took you. We were all airlifted to the hospital and since you were…" He said and paused. I ran my fingers down his face. "Sam had to identify you at the morgue. He thought I'd want it to remember you by."

"And did you?" I asked him.

He smiled sweetly at me. "When he first gave it to me…no. But later, yes. It was a little bit of you with me all the time." He said and ran his fingers through my hair. "But I think it's about time you got it back." He said and put it around my neck, securing it.

I took it in my fingers. It was surprising how good it felt to have it back around my neck. "Thank you." I said softly and kissed him passionately.

He smiled taking my hand and kissed it, but his eyes lingered on the scars again. My right hand had a few scars from where I had punched through the coffin lid. The left was less injured but its palm had a nice crescent scar on it. He had already examined my left hand, hating them for what they did. But now he held my right and he got that pensive look on his face that he had had before. I watched him as he traced the lines on my hand.

"Dean, baby…?" I said trying to break his concentration.

"Tell me, Evy. Please?" He asked. "I need to know." He said looking at me.

"Why?" I asked. "What difference does it make?"

"Because I want to share everything with you. I want to know everything that happened to you so I can understand. It would also give me just one more reason to kill that son of a bitch." He replied.

I met his eyes and knew that he wasn't going to give up on this. I sighed and put my hand on his face, rubbing his cheek with my thumb. "First, I should explain my heaven to you." I told him. He nodded and waited patiently.

I went into detail about what I remembered about dying and when I entered heaven. About the field and Cooper as well as Jim and the tree. I told him of how I could manipulate everything in heaven from the weather to the setting. I told him everything that had happened there. My feelings about what happened. My longing for him, wishing I hadn't died. I told him of when I saw him. Retold him what I had felt when he had momentarily died. Told him of the rain and the tears. Told him of the house and the rooms I had there. Told him of the paintings and the thoughts that had encompassed every moment I was there. He listened intently and never interrupted.

"I was in the field when it happened. I was with your mother, Cooper, and Jim. I was painting. I had just finished painting another picture of you." I said and smiled, kissing him gently. "Jim and I had just had a conversation about our feelings toward each other. Since he died first his feelings remained very strong toward me. He told me he was jealous of you. I tried to reassure him but it was no use. I told him that you were the man I loved more then anything. That I did love him but after he died I moved on and found the man that was the one for me. It turned out to be you." I said and took a moment to kiss him. He didn't say anything. Patiently waiting for me to get to his initial question. "It would have turned into some sort of game. He was being sarcastic I was planning on throwing paint at him but uh…" I said and paused. "Something lurched inside of me." I told him softly and frowned as I recalled the memory. I could feel my eyes becoming distant. "It hurt like hell. It happened once and I thought it was going to be okay but it happened again and again and again and then I was suddenly pulled away from them. I was pulled away and I tried to fight it. Tried to fight the pain but I couldn't. I gave into it and when I opened my eyes I was disorientated. But after feeling all sides of the box I was in I realized where I was." I told him and he looked at me sadly, running his fingers down my face. "My oxygen was running out so I had to do something. My instincts ran me for a while. I ripped the fabric and punched through the wood. I dug through the dirt until I hit the surface. I crawled out but was grabbed by something. Turned out it was a vampire. Riley saved me only I didn't know it was him. He was Adam to me at that point." I told him frowning. "We drove around hunting. I didn't know why I needed to but I needed to hunt. I needed to help people. I didn't know why but I had to do these things. I knew how to fight and use a gun but I couldn't remember why. I couldn't remember who I was or why these urges were so strong. Why I wasn't afraid of the things that go bump in the night. So I hunted and then ran into you and you know the rest." I finished and looked at him.

"I'm sorry." He whispered to me, his lips against my forehead.

"It doesn't matter anymore." I whispered back. "I love you. I'm back in your arms. That's all that matters. What's done is done. We can't change it."

"It matters to me." He said and kissed me gently. "I'm sorry you had to go through that. I'm sorry I wasn't there."

"I'll forgive you." I smiled at him. "Just this once."

He laughed and kissed me passionately. We were about to make love again when the door opened. I reached for Dean's shirt and quickly pulled it on. Sam came in with come take out. It had been a long night and he was nice enough to spend a little time outside of the room. I sat up and smiled at him.

"Having fun?" Sam smiled at us. I blushed and looked at him. "I'll take that as a 'yes'."

I nodded. "How about you?" I asked. "Have a nice time out of the room?"

"Sure." He shrugged.

I sighed and got out of bed. Dean's shirt was long enough to cover me and I wrapped my arms around Sam's waist. "I love you, Sammy." I said and looked up at him.

"Love you too." He said and kissed my forehead.

"I'm sorry you feel like the third wheel. I'm really the third wheel. I stole your brother and turned him into a half decent guy. I apologize for that." I told him. He laughed and kissed my forehead again.

"Hey!" Dean said from the bed. "I'd get up and teach you a lesson but I don't think Sam would appreciate it."

"No, I wouldn't." Sam said pointing at his brother.

I laughed and hugged Sam tightly. "I'm glad to be back with you." I told him. "You and your brother."

"We're happy to have you back too." Sam said with my face in his hands. "Now go tend to your boyfriend before he gets jealous."

"Yeah." Dean agreed.

I kissed Sam's cheek before walking back to the bed. Dean lifted the covers for me to crawl in giving me a show in the process. I laughed and Sam averted his eyes. I crawled onto the bed, my lips finding Dean's as we laughed.

"I just had a thought." I told him. "We really need to start getting our own room or something. I feel bad for Sam. He either has to hear it or he'll have to be alone."

"He'll be okay." Dean said rolling on top of me. "I'll take you whenever I want to."

I laughed as he kissed me. "You're such a bad boy."

"Yeah." He said kissing my neck. "But you love me anyway."

"I really do." I said and laughed.

* * *

It was several days before we were back on the road again. We took our time. Just spending time together. I wanted to just be with them. Be with Dean, just being happy, feeling like things were normal. For the most part that's the way things were. Normal was easy at the moment. Normal was something that I had tried so hard at before and now it came like nothing. It took dying and coming back for normal to set in. It was odd. I wasn't sure if it were possible. Feeling like I belonged here after where I had been. But more then normal I wanted to try and forget heaven. Besides, there was no comparison to having my life back with Dean. At first I wasn't sure if it was as strong when I remembered everything but it took no time at all to fall back into sync with the way things were supposed to be. Dean was as sweet as ever. It seemed like his hard exterior had temporarily disappeared. He was caring and loving. The way he touched me, the way he talked to me, the way he looked at me. But I knew that it was only temporary because as soon as the hunting started again he would be hard again. I loved him for everything he was but I liked him the way he was now. He was happy. I didn't want to see him unhappy again.

"Are you ready yet?" Dean asked me.

"Almost." I told him as I walked behind him, my hand running across his back.

"I told him we'd be there by tonight. If you don't hurry up we won't make it."

"Honey, just give me a minute." I told him frowning.

"What are you forgetting?" Dean asked putting his arms around my waist, his chin on my shoulder.

"I don't know. That's why they call it forgetting." I smiled and kissed his temple.

His lips found my neck and I leaned into him. I grinned and turned in his arms, my lips meeting his. We kissed for several moments before I pulled away from him. I went to the bed we had been sharing and pulled the journal from underneath it. I quickly put it in my bag and turned to him.

"All set." I smiled at him.

"What was that?" He frowned at me.

"Nothing." I told him smiling.

"Liar." He said and reached behind me in my bag.

I didn't stop him as he slipped it out of my bag. He flipped through it. Reading things here and there. I watched him, slightly uneasy. I wrote a lot of things down in there. From memories to experiences and feelings. But it was also a collection of all my hunting information. Some repeated from John's journal but also everything I experienced with and away from the brothers. From Roy Lagrange to Lauren Smith. Detailed accounts of nearly all of my hunts. The vampires and the vengeful spirits from Texas. He seemed to find one especially interesting. He sat down on the bed as he read it. I didn't know which one and I didn't want to watch him read it. I felt my face flush a little before taking my things to the car. I came back and grabbed his as he continued to read. Sam followed me out the second time.

"What's he reading?" He asked.

"My journal." I told him.

"And that doesn't bother you?" He asked.

I looked at him and smiled. "No, not at all. I don't have any secrets from your brother."

"But you have some from me?" Sam asked.

"No, I'll tell you anything you want to know." I replied.

"Anything?" He smiled.

"Unless it's something personal about me and your brother…yes." I told him.

"Are you okay?" He asked.

"I haven't been this good in a long time." I smiled.

"Despite what you've been through?" He asked.

I crossed my arms and faced him. "Sammy, I'm doing fine." I smiled. "Yes, I died. I died and went to heaven. Just like everyone hopes they would. Yes, it's a magical place where all your dreams come true. Everything but one." I told him, my smile faltering. "I was alone." I said and shrugged one shoulder. "I had Cooper and my parents were there and Jim but…but I felt alone." I told him sadly. "Your mother helped me more then anyone but I didn't have Dean. I didn't have you. Life…or death…isn't worth it without Dean. Or without you. No matter how bright the sun shines or how beautiful the flowers are." I said and put my hand on his cheek. "You're one of the most important people to me." I told him and kissed his cheek.

"Are we all loaded?" Dean asked joining us. "Hey, are you coming on to my girl?" He frowned at his brother.

I just grinned and dropped my hand. "Yup, and he's doing a real good job at it."

Sam just smiled and shook his head. Dean put his hand on my neck and kissed me deeply. "Here…" He said handing me my journal. "When did you start this?" He asked.

"Not very long ago." I told him. "I've been spending quite a lot of time writing in it these days. When I'm not with you anyway." I told him and smiled. "I had been adding to your dad's but after recent events I wanted one of my own. For the future." Both gave me a sad look. "Don't look at me like that." I smiled at them.

"Sorry." Sam said while Dean just looked at me.

"I'm good. You know that right?" I asked him. "I feel good." I smiled and kissed him. "You're worried and I get that but I'm fine. Let's just get out of here. Bobby's waiting."

They just nodded and we were soon on our way. It was odd. I had heard about Bobby. Knew that he had helped Dean and Sam while John and I were in captivity. I owed him for that. I owned him for helping to keep my family safe. I asked Dean and Sam a bunch of questions about Bobby. Trying to get to know him without having met him yet. I was surprised, though, by the question that weighed most heavily on my mind.

"Do you think he'll like me?" I asked Dean.

He gave me an odd look, "What?"

"Do you think he'll like me?" I repeated.

"Of course he will." Sam told me from the back.

"Thank you, Sammy." I smiled at him. I looked at Dean and frowned.

"What?" He asked.

"You don't think he'll like me?" I asked.

"No, he will. I swear." He said keeping his eyes on the road.

"I don't believe you." I frowned resting my head on my hand. "Do you understand how nervous I am?"

"Why are you so nervous?" He replied.

"Because." I told him shortly.

"Baby, I'm sorry, okay?" He said taking my hand.

I pulled mine out of his. "He will be the first real hunter I've met since you two. That and he has a history with you and your father. John mentioned him on occasion, though from what I understand they had a bit of a falling out." I replied.

"Yeah, well…that's a long story. From a long time ago." Dean told me.

"But…you don't think he'll like me?" I asked.

"I don't know." He told me with a somewhat worried look. "It's not like I've brought girls around before. I've never brought a girl home to meet my father. Never brought one to meet any friends."

"What friends?" Sam said softly in the back.

I suppressed a grin as I frowned at Dean before a smile crossed my face. "I understand, sweetie. You're more nervous then me."

"What?" He asked but he rolled his shoulders in a clearly nervous way.

I laughed and played with the hair at the nape of his neck. "It's okay. I'll make a good impression." I smiled and leaned over to him. He took his eyes off the road momentarily and kissed my gently.

I felt better knowing that he was nervous too. But my nerves came back in full force when we pulled into the junk yard. I looked at the piles of cars and didn't want to get out of the car when Dean finally shut it off. We got out and I heard growling. I turned to see a Rottweiler staring at us, his head lowered. I smiled and stepped toward it. Sam grabbed my arm. I looked at him.

"She'll be fine." Dean said absently as he took a few steps toward the house.

"Be careful." Sam told me and followed his brother.

I watched them before turning to the dog again. "Hey, you." I said walking right up to it. He barely growled when I knelt in front of him. "How are you?" I asked and scratched his neck.

I was holding a perfectly fine conversation with the dog when I heard the vaguest shuffle behind me. I managed to grab the two-by-four before it hit my head. I forced the man backward. He dropped the board and swung at me. I ducked and punched his abdomen. He momentarily hunched over but recovered and managed to clock me across my left cheekbone. I went down on one knee before feeling a sudden focus and put my arm out to block myself. A shocked look crossed his face and he flew back, knocking the Winchesters down in the process. I myself was a bit shocked but ran over, pulling the man to his feet. I slammed him against the nearest car and put my arm across his throat.

"Who the hell are you?" I asked.

"Evy…" Dean said pulling me away from him.

"He attacked me." I stated.

"What?" Dean said angrily and pushed me behind him.

"Okay, calm down." Sam told all of us.

"He attacked her!" Dean yelled. "Bobby, what the hell were you thinking?"

"It's not like she didn't fight back." Bobby replied.

"Wait…" I said putting my hands on Dean's arms. "This is Bobby?" I asked. Dean nodded. I was suddenly very much embarrassed. "I am so sorry." I told Bobby as I moved from behind Dean. "I thought you were one of the bad guys." I told him.

"And I thought you were a demon." Bobby replied.

"I am so, so sorry." I told him again.

"And what was with the thing you just did?" Bobby asked.

"I don't know." I said running my fingers through my hair.

There was a long pause between all of us. "So, Bobby, this is Evy." Dean said giving him a half smile.

"Hi." Bobby said nodding at me.

"Hi." I smiled back.

We all just kind of looked at each other before going into the house. The house was full of books. Wall to wall books. Stacks of books. Up the staircase and in every room. There were a few chairs around the table. Dean pulled one out and motioned for me to sit down. I did and then Bobby came through with four beer bottles. I thanked him as I took one. I took a sip while he downed nearly half the bottle before he looked at me. Dean and Sam sipped off of theirs and the silence was becoming deafening.

"Have I said I'm sorry?" I said breaking the silence.

"It's fine." Bobby told me. "I shouldn't have tried to hit you with a two-by-four."

I smiled and looked at Dean. He was eyeing Bobby rather evilly. "It's fine, baby." I told him softly.

"Hmph." Bobby said looking at me. "What I'm curious about is how you can move things."

"With my mind." I told him. "Something I've just discovered about myself." I told him. "This was only the second time I've done it."

"Hmph." He said again.

"Sam?" I said looking at him.

"I can do it too." He told Bobby. Bobby just looked at him.

"We don't know why. We also have premonitions." I added.

"I knew about that." Bobby told me. "About Sam anyway."

"Yeah…" I said and lowered my eyes.

"Why did you think she was a demon?" Dean asked him.

"Well, my dog doesn't usually take to anyone unless they're me or evils got a hold of him." Bobby replied.

"She's good with dogs." Dean told him.

"She has a thing for them." Sam added.

"I am right here you know." I told them.

"Sorry." They all said in unison.

"Now that we've all apologized, can we move past the whole awkward meeting thing?" I asked them.

"Yes." Sam said quickly.

"Sure." Bobby said.

"I'm almost over it." Dean replied.

"Over what?" Bobby asked.

"You, trying to hit my girlfriend with a two-by-four." Dean stated.

"Damn it, Dean." Bobby said all annoyed. "I didn't know it was her."

"It's fine." I said standing, putting my hands on Dean's chest. "You are overreacting and you have to remember that I threw him into you and Sam." He didn't relax. "With my mind." I added. He looked at me and sighed heavily. I raised my brow at him. He nodded. "Good." I said and kissed him quickly.

It was more then awkward for a while. Sam started up a conversation with Bobby and they soon disappeared into the next room. Dean seemed a bit on edge and I still wasn't sure why. It wasn't as big a deal as he seemed to be making it. When I was sure that the other two were occupied I looked at Dean.

"So what is really bothering you?" I asked him.

"What do you mean?" He asked with a small smile.

"You are being way too overprotective. You're acting too normal for as abnormal a couple as we are. You jumped down a good friend's throat because of a silly mistake. You're not acting like yourself." I replied somewhat worriedly.

"And that's a bad thing?" He frowned.

"Honey, don't get defensive." I told him. I could already hear it in his tone.

"Then tell me what you want to hear." He told me.

"Dean…" I frowned at him. "I'm trying to have a conversation about what's bothering you. Things have been perfect between us. Things have been more then perfect but it's like you've changed your entire personality since I've been back."

"And I ask again, that's a bad thing?" He asked his tone better but still defensive.

"No. But I don't understand why." I told him.

"How am I supposed to act?" He asked. "You died Evy. You _died._" He repeated and leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. "I don't want to be hard. I don't want the job to overcast the way I feel about you. I took you for granted." He told me.

"No you didn't." I told him.

"Yes I did. I took you for granted and then I made a mistake. I made a horrible mistake and it took months for me to get you back. After the thing with Annabelle I fell back into that feeling. The feeling that you would always be there, you'd always be with me. I fell right back into that and then you were taken from me. You died. I sat in front of your grave and sobbed like a little baby." He said and gave me a small smile. I felt my eyes well with tears but I didn't interrupt him. "I knew you were dead. I wasn't expecting you to be brought back." He said and met my eyes. "But you were." He said quietly. "You are alive and I promised myself the moment I laid eyes on you that I would never let anything happen to you. That I would give you everything you wanted. Everything you need. But most importantly that I would be the man you want me to be, the man who you need me to be. Not the hard hunter that puts the job first. You need someone who believes in you. Who puts you over everything else. Someone who will love you unconditionally. I want to be that man. I want to be with you for the rest of my life. I told myself that that's who I would be. I would be that man." He said nodding as if he was still convincing himself of it all.

"But you were already him." I said kneeling in front of him. "You were that man a long time ago."

"No I wasn't." He replied.

"Dean, everything you said sounds wonderful. It sounds perfect, but no one can be that perfect. I don't want you to be that man. The man that puts me before everything. We save people. We do what's needed to get it done. If you put me first then others may die. That would be unacceptable. I would rather die…again…then have others die because of me. I know that it's hard and at times we get hurt but that's _life._" I told him. "Life is full of pain. It's full of disappointments and fear. But the most important part of life is love. We've already got that." I smiled putting my hands in his. "I love that you want to be the perfect man for me. To be everything I need. But you were already all of that. You're perfect just the way you are. I don't want you to change for me." I told him. "Well, maybe a few things. I'd love you to keep the cap on the toothpaste." I told him and grinned. He laughed. "Okay?" I asked him.

"Yeah." He said softly and kissed me sweetly before he pulled me into him kissing me intensely.

I wrapped my arms around him, burying my face in his neck. I kissed it before putting my forehead against his. "I love you." I whispered.

"I love you too." He said and kissed me. He pulled away from me and got to his feet. "Now that we have a minute there is something I've been meaning to give you." He said and disappeared from the room.

I shook my head and smiled, watching him go. My eyes focusing on his ass. I grinned only then realized that I was being watched. I turned and Bobby was watching me. I smiled and stood, crossing my arms as I faced him.

"Hi." I smiled.

"So you're the woman who tamed Dean." He smiled.

"That's what they tell me." I replied.

"I'm happy for him." He told me. I just smiled at him. "And for you too." He added.

"Thanks." I smiled, blushing.

"Hey, here –" Dean said but stopped when he saw Bobby.

"Sorry." Bobby said and turned away from us.

"It's fine." I smiled.

"You know, there are some spare rooms upstairs. They're probably not what you're used to but they're all yours." Bobby told us.

"We're in a real house." I smiled at him. "It'll be perfect." Bobby smiled at us.

"Thanks Bobby." Dean smiled and took my hand before leading me upstairs.

I grinned as he closed the door behind us. The room was cluttered but the bed was clear. He walked up to me, putting his hands on either side of my waist. I ran the back of my fingers down his cheek.

"Open it." He said handing me the wrapped package.

"What's the occasion?" I grinned at him.

"You're alive and well." He said and kissed me gently. "That and…" He said and paused.

A sad expression crossed his face. "And what?" I asked him.

"And you sort of missed your birthday." He said and gave me his knee weakening half smile.

I just looked at him. "You know. I don't even know what the date is. It never really mattered." I told him.

"June 15th." He told me.

"I see." I replied. "My birthday wasn't too long ago."

"Nope. May 21st was practically yesterday." He replied.

"It's okay. I'm here." I said pulling him against me.

"I know." He said and kissed the top of my hand. "Now open it."

I grinned at him and tore the paper off. It was a wooden box. It was a few inches tall and several inches long. It was like an oversized briefcase. I ran my hand across it. It had my name engraved on it. I smiled at him before opening it. There were several sketchbooks of different sizes. A box of pencils on top of them. I was in awe of the gift. I took them out only to find another box. I took it out and opened it. It was a collection of paints with a variety of brushes.

"It wasn't big enough for any canvas." Dean told me.

"It's wonderful." I told him airily. "It's the best gift anyone's ever given me."

"Yeah?" He smiled, unsure if I was being honest or not.

"Yeah." I smiled and kissed him deeply. "Though I'm curious. What made you think to get me this?"

"You went to school for art. You mentioned how much painting you had done while you were gone. I thought it might be something you'd want to continue with. A small piece of normalcy."

I grinned and kissed him passionately. "God I love you." I said as I placed the kit quickly to the side. I pushed him back onto the bed and laid on top of him, undoing the buttons as I kissed him. His hands moved to my pants and I smiled as his lips found my neck. I shivered with pleasure as he slid them down. I pulled his t-shirt off before undoing his pants. He kissed me intensely as he rolled me underneath him. I helped him from his pants and thanked him properly for the gift.


	9. The Roadhouse

_**Chapter Nine: The Roadhouse**_

We walked back to the car. I was walking between my two men. We were all so exhausted I could hardly believe it. Dean took my hand in his. I smiled at him and he gave me the best he could muster up. It had been a tough kill. The spirit was more corporeal then we would have hoped. It had been nice enough to shove me into the flames of its burning bones before it disappeared. Dean, naturally, jumped in after me which made Sam jump in. So we cooked ourselves momentarily before dragging our sorry asses out of the fire. I was the only one with a legit excuse for the burns. Dean was stupid enough to follow me and Sam was even stupider then him and was the third to follow suit. Apparently he was attempting to save us. He didn't jump in but fell after trying to grab his brother. Who really knows? I still think he was just too stupid and followed suit.

"You okay?" Dean asked when we got into the car.

"Mildly burned. I'll be all right." I told him. "Though you are in some serious shit when we get back to the hotel."

"What? Why?" He asked.

"You jumped in after me." I told him.

"What was I supposed to do? Let you burn?" He countered.

"I could have gotten out by myself but no, you jumped in and made your brother jump in." I replied. "Sammy, if he jumped off a bridge would you do it too?" I asked him.

"Probably." He said tending to some burns on his hand.

I frowned at his brother and crossed my arms only to feel pain sear through my arm. "Damn it." I said looking at the burn across the top of my right forearm. "Ouch."

"You okay?" Dean asked me again.

"You can kiss it and make it better later." I smiled at him.

"Yeah?" He grinned.

"Yeah." I replied, kissing him gently.

We spent the rest of the night tending to our burns. My arm was the worst but at least my back wasn't burned. Poor Dean had a nice burn on his left shoulder blade. I gently rubbed burn ointment on it. I kissed his neck as he flinched a little from the pain.

"Poor baby." I whispered.

"I'll be okay." He told me.

"That's what you get for jumping in after me." I told him.

"I'd do it again in a heartbeat. I'd do anything for you." He replied sweetly.

I smiled and kissed him deeply. "I'd do anything for you too."

* * *

I waited while Dean went on a coffee run. My hand moved to my neck, so happy to feel the metal against my neck. Sam was still asleep in the other bed. I had a sketchbook open on my lap and turned my attention back to it. I smiled as I continued to draw. The book had filled up fast. Most of them were of Dean but Sam made more then one appearance as well as what I remembered of John and of the people I met in heaven. Bella even made an appearance. It was a nice way to pass the time between jobs. Drawing and journal entries. Well, those and Dean. My mind moved to him again, like it usually did. I was happily drifting into a fantasy when the door opened and my fantasy came to life.

"Hey." I smiled at him.

He put down the coffee and walked over to me. "Morning beautiful." He smiled and kissed me.

I grinned as he handed me my cup of coffee. He took the sketchbook from my hands and paged through it. I just watched him and sipped the yummy beverage.

"I know you went to school for this so I assumed you could draw but jeez…" He said and stopped.

"What?" I smiled at him. "Didn't actually believe I had talent?"

He smirked at me. "It's not that. You're just much better then I thought you were." He said and kissed me again.

"Gee, thanks baby, I really appreciate that." I smiled at him.

"You know what I mean." He frowned.

"Yeah, I do." I said getting off of the bed. I walked over to the bed Sam was in and crawled into it next to him. He was on his stomach. I laid on mine and ran my fingers through his hair. "Sammy." I whispered. "Oh, Sammy." I said and kissed his head. "Time to wake up." He groaned a little. I smiled and kissed his head again. "Sam." I said a little louder. He cracked open his eyes and looked at me. "Morning sunshine." I smiled at him. He smiled back. I kissed his head again before smacking his ass. "Come on, the coffee's here." I told him as I rolled off of the bed.

"Hey you…" I said walking over to Dean. I put my lips next to his ear and whispered, "I'm going to take a shower. Are you going to join me?" I gently bit his ear as I set the coffee down, making my way to the bathroom.

He made no time in following me. I grinned when he slammed the door behind him. The shower was the most fun I'd had since I'd been back. Maybe that was just because I was with Dean. The bed sex was great but sex in the shower was fantastic. Only it was over much too soon and I heard Sam in the other room. Our third wheel. I had a better sense of guilt now that I was back. Knowing that Dean and I were so wrapped up in each other that he was left behind. I didn't want him to be left behind anymore.

* * *

We were in the car again on our way to some roadhouse. The name sounded familiar but I couldn't place where I'd heard it from. Other then that it must have been from John. I darkened the line across John's jaw as I finished the drawing.

"I'm almost sorry I got you that." Dean told me teasingly.

"Why?" I smiled at him.

"You're very distracted when you're drawing." He replied.

I smiled at him. "Yeah, but one word from you or Sam and I'd be nothing less then attentive." I replied.

"We're almost there." Dean smiled taking my hand.

I kissed his palm before putting the sketchbook into my bag. He parked in front of the Roadhouse and I looked at it. I was nervous again. Not as much as with Bobby but nervous enough. Dean got out and I looked over my shoulder at Sam. He winked and smiled before opening the door. I took a deep breath and got out. I walked around and stood next to Sam. Linking my arm with his, I rested my cheek against his arm. He kissed the top of my head linking his fingers with mine.

"We need to talk, have a few drinks." I told him.

"Something wrong?" He asked.

"No." I said shaking my head. "We haven't talked much since I've been back, or before I was gone, and feel the need to spend some time with my Sammy." I smiled up at him.

He smiled and kissed my forehead. "Sounds good."

I grinned and let his hand go. I went to Dean's side and he wrapped his arm around my waist. Mine did the same and I kissed his cheek. I fell behind him as he stepped through the door. I was perfectly happy until I heard a voice that made me frown.

"Dean!" A young woman said rushing to him.

It was an immediate and involuntary reaction. My eyes narrowed and it took all of me to keep the smile on my face. She was shorter then me and was a skinny blond. The type I could see Dean with. Only he was mine and that was the way I was going to keep it. I was staring at them, not realizing that I had stopped abruptly. Sam walked into me and I glanced at him over my shoulder. He already could see what caused my stop. He moved me from the doorway and stepped past me.

"Jo." He said friendly enough.

The blond let go of Dean and put her arms around Sam. I was just as possessive of him. Even though it wasn't very fair. I crossed my arms, watching. I was starting to stare when someone else came out. She was older, clearly the blonds mother. She seemed equally as happy to see the boys as her daughter. I just waited to be noticed. I saw the blonds eyes move over me but she was busily keeping the Winchesters attention. I frowned, drumming my fingers on my arm. But a moment later Dean was at my side. It took me out of my angry thoughts. He put his lips in my hair, telling me to be good. He must have noticed my expression before I could erase it. I smiled at him and let him lead me forward.

"This is Evy." He told them. "Evy, this is Jo and Ellen."

"Hi." I smiled at them.

"Evy?" Ellen said with an odd expression on her face. I nodded. "Your dead girlfriend?" She asked Dean.

My smile all but disappeared and I looked up at Dean. His face was hard. I put my hand on his chest my other moving to the back of his head. "It's okay." I whispered as I gently played with his hair. He looked at me and smiled. I smiled back before turning back to them. "Yes." I said stepping up to them. "I'm the dead girlfriend."

"You look alive to me." Jo said with a somewhat cocky look on her face.

My smile didn't falter at her words. I was proud of myself for that. "I was dead. A distant friend of ours made a deal with a crossroads demon and I was brought back. Lost my memory for a while but was reunited with the boys here almost a month ago." I explained.

"And you two just thought of bringing her around now?" Ellen told them with a smile. "It's good to meet you." She said putting her arm around me. "Come on. Let's have a beer and talk." She smiled.

"Sounds good." I grinned and followed her to the bar.

We spent the next several hours drinking, eating and talking. I wasn't afraid to confide in Ellen. I was more leery of Jo and was vaguer when she was around. Ellen seemed to catch on to this and usually had something for her to do. Maybe it was because of the way Jo looked at Dean. The way she walked around and "cleaned" the tables. It was driving me crazy. But truth be told, I did really like Ellen. I was mostly drunk when the night was already half over. I was laughing at something we were talking about, but it got serious faster then I would have liked.

"Are you happy to be back?" She asked.

"Of course I am." I told her.

"Don't you miss it?"

I looked at her before finishing off my latest beer. I opened another and took a swig before I leaned on the table. I nodded and looked at her. "Of course I do. There were things there that were wonderful. The power to be able to do anything you want but still feel human. The feeling of being whole and that you had lived a good life." I said and frowned. I felt myself pull away, feeling the distant look in my eyes as I recalled my heaven. "Knowing that it was okay to be gone. That you were complete." I said and looked at her.

"So that's what heaven is like?" Ellen said with a small smile.

"Yeah, but there was also a lot of pain. A lot of sadness."

"Dean?" She asked.

I smiled and nodded. "Even an afterlife isn't any good without him. In time you adjust but for me, in life or death, without him is nothing. I had a lot of dark days in heaven." I replied. I heard footsteps and then felt his lips against my hair. "Hey, baby." I smiled closing my eyes.

"Hey." He whispered in my ear. I looked up at him. His lips met mine in a sweet kiss. "We were thinking we should get going."

"Okay." I smiled at him, kissing him again. "I'll be right out."

"Okay." He said kissing my forehead before he left.

"We should talk again." I told Ellen. "There is more to say."

"You were with John for a while weren't you?" She asked. I nodded. "You know something I don't?" She asked.

"I don't know if you know it or not but I need to say a few things about something. In John's memory if nothing else." I told her.

She nodded and just looked at me. "I think I understand what you're saying."

I smiled at her. "Thank you, Ellen, for the nice evening. I almost forgot what it was like to talk to another woman."

"Anytime, sweetie." She smiled back.

She stood and walked me to the door. We hugged briefly before I stumbled out to the car. Sam had the door open for me while Dean started the car. I slid in and sunk low, putting my knees against the dash. We had barely been moving five minutes before I was asleep. I barely remembered when we got to the hotel. Dean tried to wake me up but I was perfectly intoxicated and wasn't going to be moving myself anywhere.

"Come on, baby." Dean said kissing my hair before pulling me out of the car.

I vaguely remembered him carrying me into the room but as soon as my head hit the pillow I was out cold.

* * *

When I opened my eyes Dean was holding me. I had my arm draped across his chest. He was gently running his fingers through my hair. My eyes felt heavy but I lifted my head enough to look at him. He grinned and kissed my forehead. I smiled and rested my head back on his chest. I could hear his heartbeat under my ear. My eyes felt even heavier as the sound became the only thing I could hear. I closed my eyes and fell asleep again.

_We were running. Me, the Winchesters, as well as the Harvelle's. The Roadhouse came into view and we rushed inside. We locked the doors and the windows. A sound was heard as they sped around the building. The sound of their steps swiftly circling. The five of us took a position at different points of the building. Soon there was the sound of breaking glass and fire erupted in the roadhouse. I moved to put out the flames nearest to me as the others did the same. That was when the door opened and shots rang out in the room. I raised my gun and shot them, but it did no good. They came and I was thrown. I scrambled to my feet and dashed for the bar, a knife sitting on the table. The beheading started and didn't end for several minutes. It wasn't until the threat was gone when any of us stopped to assess the damage. Dean was missing. I ran through the wreckage and found him. Bullet holes littering his body. He was gone before the fighting had stopped._

I shot awake, gasping as the throbbing in my head dulled. Dean was still holding me. I leaned back against him as I wrapped my head around what I just saw. I thought I was going to be okay but then a wave of nausea hit me and I ran to the bathroom, vomiting into the toilet. When I was done I sank to the floor and leaned against the tub. A moment later Dean and Sam were there with me. I had tears in my eyes and I didn't want to open them in fear of the tears falling. I didn't want to cry before I could explain. I felt Dean's arms on mine and I opened my eyes. The tears slid down my cheeks and he wiped them away.

"What did you see?" He asked.

"You…dead." I told him. They didn't seem to be phased. "I think it was vampires. A large group of them. They chased us to the Roadhouse and threw flaming bottles through the windows. They came in with guns. They emptied them before the fighting began. The beheading…" I said and trailed off. "When the fighting stopped you weren't standing with me." I said and looked at him. "When I found you, you were gone. Shot to death."

"It's fine." Dean told me.

"How can you say that? I am so sick of seeing you die." I said standing. "I didn't come back from the grave to put you in yours."

"It's fine because we're going to leave town." He told me.

Sam's phone sounded and he left the room. I watched him go; knowing that it would be the call that would keep us here.

"This is terrible." I told him.

"Don't worry about it." He replied.

"Dean." I said taking his face in my hands. "Please take this seriously. I don't think we can find a faith healer fast enough to save you from this one."

He smiled and kissed me deeply. "We'll get out of dodge."

"We have a problem." Sam said coming back in.

I sighed and ran my fingers through my hair. My hangover now showing itself. "Don't tell me, Sammy, trouble with the Roadhouse?" I asked.

"Near the Roadhouse." Sam replied.

"Vampires?" I asked.

"Jo caused some trouble." Sam told us.

"Figures." I said crossing my arms.

"I'll kill her." Dean replied.

But it didn't matter. We needed to help Jo out of her mess. Help Ellen keep her daughter around for a while longer. It didn't take much to realize that my premonition was going to come true. There was little in the area but Jo managed to pick a fight with the leader of a rather large vampire gang. By the time we got there she was surrounded and nearly monster chow before we interceded.

"Hey, Cujo, pick on someone your own size." I yelled as I got out of the car.

"Like you sweet cheeks?" The leader grinned as he stepped toward me.

Dean and Sam appeared at my sides. I grinned at the vampire as Jo tore away from one of the others. A moment later there was a honk and Ellen appeared. It was, of course, a bad idea. She attempted to help by hitting a few of them but that only fuelled their tempers and the gun shots started to sound. I didn't want to go to the hospital but I foresaw a full room of friends. I'd be happy if we all stayed out of the morgue. It was only a few minutes later when the running started.

"Dean! It's happening!" I shouted to him.

"It'll be fine." He shouted back.

We returned to the Roadhouse and did what I had seen us do. Made sure everything was locked.

"Do you have a fire extinguisher?" I asked Ellen.

"What?" She asked rather shocked.

"A fire extinguisher, do you have one?" I repeated more frantically.

She ran and retrieved one from behind the counter. I held tight to it and walked toward where the first one was supposed to come through. A moment later the first one came. I put it out quickly and then a few others that were thrown. But the number of bottles that came through was nothing like what I saw in my vision.

"Shit." I whispered.

"What is it?" Dean asked from my side.

"The future is subject to change." I told him.

"Meaning?" Ellen asked.

"I think we should drop to the ground." I told them.

"Are you serious?" Jo asked me.

I didn't have a chance to ream her out when the shooting started. I knocked her to the ground. It was only a few rounds before it stopped. I immediately thought of Dean. I whipped around and saw him looking at me. I took a deep breath and moved into a crouch. I was going to move toward him but the shooting started again. I dropped to the ground but watched as he made his way toward me. I shot up and ran at him knocking him down.

"What do you think you are doing?" I whispered harshly to him.

"Me? What about you?" He shot back.

"Don't move." I told him.

"What are you going to do?" He frowned at me.

"Find a way to kill these bastards." I told him and crawled toward the nearest broken window. I looked out and saw several vampires surrounding the Roadhouse. "Shit." I said again and went too move back to Dean. I was nearly there when the shots started to fire again. I moved back against the wall. "Get behind the bar!" I yelled to them. "Go!" I yelled. I watched as they started to move toward it. "This is great. This is really great." I whispered to myself. "I can do this. All I need to do is make a diversion." I said convincing myself.

"Evy, come on." Dean told me.

"Just go." I told him.

"Don't do it." He told me.

"Remember what I told you about saving people?" I asked him. He nodded. "Well, this is one of those times. Now go." He just looked at me. "Go." I told him harshly.

He moved toward the bar and I stood and quickly pushed off, running across the perimeter of the building. The firing had started as soon as I had taken the first step. I raced the bullets as I heard them penetrate the walls and windows behind me. It seemed to be going well, but that could never last. The day something actually went as planned would be the day demons no longer existed. I was nearly to the bar when I tripped, my ankle throbbing. I got up but fell again.

"Damn it!" I yelled. "Why is it always the ankle?" I yelled and looked behind me. The vampires were starting to come through the windows. The leader stepped up to me. He was about to give me a nice backhand but was stopped. Someone stood next to him. The lights came on and I stared at the vampire in front of me. "Kate…" I said looking at her.

"Evy." The vampire said holding out her hand.

"What are you doing here and why the hell are you helping me?" I said but took her hand anyway. I recognized one or two of the others.

"This is my new family." She told me.

"We ruined your life. Why would you help me now?" I asked her.

"I kind of like you." She smiled.

"Why?" I smiled back. "Because I can handle being fed off of?"

"Evy…" I heard Dean say but his tone was cold only I knew it wasn't toward me.

"You have guts. And I know you didn't mean for Luther to die." She told me.

I looked at her and my smile faltered. "No, I wouldn't wish that on anyone." I told her sadly.

"Are we honestly going to let them escape?" The one who I thought was the leader asked her.

"Yes." She shot at him. Clearly Kate was the one running the show.

I gave a short laugh. "Thank you." I told her.

"Mind if we stay for a drink?" Kate asked. "For my trouble and all?"

"It's on the house." I told her and went to the bar.

Everyone was standing up now, looking extremely nervous. I seemed to be the only one who wasn't. I sat on a stool while Kate sat next to me. I reached behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. I looked at her and she nodded. I grabbed two shot glasses, filling them. We took the shot and smiled. Though we could feel the several sets of eyes on us.

"Hey, boys. Why don't you clean this place up?" Kate told her men.

They started to right the tables and pick up the debris while my group continued to watch unbelievingly.

"Hey Kate, long time no see." Dean grinned moving to my side, though it wasn't a happy grin.

"Dean." She smiled. "Sam." She said when he stepped next to his brother.

"Kate." Sam said but his tone was unsure.

"Does anyone else find this the slightest bit odd?" Ellen asked.

"Not so much." I smiled at her. Jo was behind her mother still looking rather afraid.

"So, I hear you died." Kate told me.

I took a shot and nodded. "Yup, did the whole heaven thing but it just wasn't for me." I replied.

She laughed. "Yeah, I'm sure that you just decided to be resurrected."

"What do you know of it?" Dean asked.

Kate looked at him before taking a shot. "We know a lot actually. It's no a secret that you're back." She told us. "We know about Riley and what he did. We know about good old yellow-eyes and the whole bit."

"Hmph." I said and looked at her. "Does that mean someone is going to kill him before me or are they going to help him?" I asked her.

"Depends. You've made some friends along the way but I don't think you've made enough to make a difference." She replied.

I nodded. "Do you know of a witch named Annabelle?" I asked.

"Nope, why?" Kate asked.

"I ran into her a couple times. Kind of curious to know what happened to her."

"You're an odd hunter." Kate stated.

I laughed. "Yeah, yeah I am." I told her. "But I know enough to know that not everything needs to be killed. Sometimes exceptions can be made."

"Like me?" She grinned.

I laughed again. "Yes, like you." I told her and took another shot.

We talked until the bottle of whiskey was gone before they took their leave. But that wasn't the end of the night. Sam, Dean and I sat at a table and listened while Ellen yelled at her daughter. It was very entertaining to me. The boys didn't seem as entertained but I opened up another beer and listened. What I didn't expect was Ellen to turn on me. I practically spit the beer out of my mouth when she pointed her finger at me.

"What were you thinking?" Ellen yelled at me.

"What? Why are you yelling at me?" I said taken aback.

"You're friends with vampires now?" She yelled.

"Yes!" I yelled getting to my feet. "As a matter of fact I am. You don't know her or what went down. You can't pass judgment when you don't understand."

"You're right. I don't understand. What hunter makes friends with what their hunting? I just can't seem to wrap my head around that." She said putting her fingers to her temple.

"Ellen, back off." Dean told her, standing next to me.

"I get that you're back from the dead but maybe your priorities are a little skewed." She told me.

"My priorities?" I said stepping up to her. "My _priorities_ are perfectly fine. My first is Dean my second is Sam and my third is getting the job done. Just because I have alliances doesn't mean I don't have my priorities in line. You don't get very far without making friends. I have some on both sides. That doesn't mean I'm any worse for it." I told her and crossed my arms. She didn't say anything. "Dean, can we go?" I asked him.

"Yeah." Dean said and I went to the door.

I went outside and waited for them. Though I wasn't alone for very long.

"You may have Kate fooled." I heard a man say in the shadows. "But I'm not convinced."

"I wouldn't suggest going against your queen's wishes. There's a good chance that you won't see daylight." I told him.

He didn't show himself. I had turned toward the sound of his voice. I was waiting for a response but all I got was a gun shot. Pain seared through my left shoulder. I fell back. I rolled onto my feet and tried to pinpoint where he was. I heard the door of the Roadhouse open and Dean came rushing out.

"Dean, get inside!" I yelled at him.

"I heard a shot." He replied.

I rushed toward him as another shot rang. I didn't make it to him. I felt the pain but I kept myself from yelling out. I stumbled forward. It wasn't the way I had seen it but it was going to happen anyway. I had stopped Dean from getting hurt, again.

"Evy!" Dean yelled as he caught me in his arms.

"It's good. It's all good." I told him.

"Call an ambulance." Dean told Ellen.

"It'll never get here in time." She told him.

"Oh, come on. It's not even that bad." I told them. I had the urge to cough only with it came a warm liquid. I thanked my lucky stars that it was dark out so I was the only one who knew.

"Come on." Dean said helping me to my feet. "I'm not losing you again." He said his voice panicked.

He practically dragged me to the car. I fell into it and tried to stay calm. Adrenaline would keep me going for now but that would only last so long. Everyone was in the car as Dean ripped out of the lot. He sped down the road. I sat there keeping my breathing steady. This was nothing compared to what I'd been through before. Besides, it was about time I had a hospital stay. My life wouldn't be completely normal without spending some time in the frickin hospital.

"How you doin'?" Dean asked me, putting his hand on the back of my neck.

I looked at him and smiled. "Honey, I'm fine. A couple of gunshot wounds are not going to kill me." I told him. "I'm tougher then I look you know. I've been through worse. We all have."

He sighed and took his hand back. "I know." He replied but his tone was coated with worry and I heard the engine work harder as his foot floored the gas pedal.

I made it to the hospital and through the doors. Though as soon as the light hit me Dean could see the blood on my lips. It was bad enough that it had spilled over at the corner of my mouth. The look he gave me made me almost afraid for myself but I wouldn't give into it. I would be fine. I was always fine. I got to play on the gurney and go get x-rayed. Then get moved into the prep room and then got to take a nap while I had surgery. I loved days that ended like this. Nothing like a white room and beeping monitors. This was exactly what I woke up to. It was almost a comforting sound. My hand was held and Dean's head was resting on my abdomen. I smiled and ran my fingers through his hair. I was almost afraid to wake him up. I didn't want to argue but I knew I was going to get an earful. Sam was the first to see me.

"Hey." He smiled and walked over to me.

"Hey you." I grinned and kissed his cheek when he bent down to do the same.

"How are you feeling?" He asked.

"I feel really good actually. A little tired but I figure the anesthesia is probably still wearing off." I told him. "It wasn't so bad, was it?" I asked him.

"Nah." He told me, but I knew he was lying. I raised my brow. "Nothing you couldn't handle." He told me. "Some internal bleeding and all but you've done that before."

"Yup." I told him. "It got the best of me the last time though."

He frowned and then I felt Dean's head rise. "Hey." He said, his hand finding my face.

"Hey, baby." I smiled and ran my fingers down his face. He smiled and kissed me gently. "Oh, come on. You can do better then that." I grinned at him. He grinned back and kissed me deeply. "That's better." I told him.

"Not that I'm not thrilled to see you awake but uh…what were you thinking?" He asked more calmly then I had expected.

"Couldn't let you get hurt." I told him. "It's as simple as that."

"As simple as that?" He said raising his brows.

"Uh huh." I smiled. "You're not going to yell at me are you?" I asked now pouting.

He just looked at me before kissing me sweetly. "No, I'm not going to yell at you. I'm just glad you're okay."

"And the others?" I asked.

"We'll live." Ellen said walking into the room.

"Hi Ellen." I smiled at her.

"I should thank you for what you did." She told me. "Sorry I yelled at you."

"It's not a problem." I told her. "I'm just glad it all worked out."

It was one big happy reunion. A normal act that I wished wasn't so normal. We talked, we laughed, and we played cards until I finally convinced the doctor to let me go. I didn't argue when he told me it wouldn't be for a few days but I wasn't going to wait much longer then that. I was ready to go. Dean kept his word and didn't get after me for what I did. He knew what he meant to me and he also knew that he would have done the same if our positions had been reversed. I loved him and I would have done it again in an instant.


	10. Undercover

_**Chapter Ten: Undercover**_

I looked at myself in the mirror. _I can't believe I'm doing this, _was all I could think. I had been out of the hospital for a few weeks and was already in the thick of it. I wasn't much for sitting on the sidelines and even though I was still healing I felt good enough to get what needed to be done, done. I turned and walked from the dressing room, ready to play my role.

_24 Hours Earlier_

I sat with Sam at the Roadhouse, talking quietly about our latest hunt. Dean sat next to me and put a beer in front of us. I took a swig from mine and smiled at him, winking. I turned back to Sam and kept talking.

"Why don't you two let me in?" He said gently playing with my hair.

"We've got this one." I told him.

"Evy." He frowned.

"Baby, listen to me." I said turning and facing him. "Sam and I have this one. You're always taking care of us. You need to let us do this one on our own. We can handle it and you know it." I said and kissed him. "Can you trust us?"

He frowned but nodded. "Of course I can. Like you have to ask."

"I know." I smiled and kissed him deeply. "Now go keep your other girlfriend company." I told him with a raised brow.

"That's not even funny." He told me seriously.

"You know she wants you." I told him.

"She's like a sister to me." He replied frowning.

"Yeah, well it makes me jealous." I said frowning.

He just looked at me before his face broke out in a grin. "Really?"

I sighed and rested my chin in my hand. I just raised my brow and looked at him. His grin widened and he leaned forward. He put his hand on my neck and kissed me passionately.

"There is only one girl for me." He said softly.

"I know. But I still get jealous." I told him. "Past history and all."

"What can I do to reassure you?" He asked gently.

"Kiss me again?" I grinned at him.

He gave a short laugh and kissed me again. Our tongues tangoing momentarily before he pulled away again.

"Now I'll go mind my own business." He said and kissed me once more before he left.

I watched him go before turning to Sam, frowning. "This doesn't feel right." I told him. "I don't like leaving him out of the loop."

"Yeah, but he won't let you do it. He'll get all protective. We have a plan. Let's just do it and get it over with."

"What if it goes south?" I asked him.

"It's not going to." Sam said taking my hand. "Let's just do this."

I nodded, "Okay." He nodded and squeezed my hand.

The plan was for me to do what I could to get on the inside. A group had come to town in San Francisco who were spending quite a bit of time practicing their skills at summoning demons, releasing them on the city. The casualty numbers were rising and we needed to do something about it. We were heading out in the morning. Rumors about the group had filtered into the Roadhouse but we wanted to make sure before we made any drastic actions. But we were nearly one hundred percent sure. We were going to have to infiltrate their group in some way. One of them who was responsible for getting the needed sacrifices spent a lot of his time in a strip club. Girls coming and going so fast that no one would miss them if they just happened to disappear. We were going to save the girls and get the bad guy. Or at least try.

* * *

The streets were cramped and I was becoming even more nervous by the minute. The plan was looking more and more flawed even though it was rather well thought out. I no longer wanted to be the one counted on for this. Not only that but we hadn't told Dean what was going on and I hated leaving him out of the loop. I wanted to tell him but Sam was right when he said Dean would overreact. He'd been doing a lot of that lately.

"You okay?" Dean asked when we were in the hotel room.

"Not really." I told him with a small smile.

He frowned and ran his hands up and down my arms. "What's wrong?"

"I can't tell you right now." I told him sadly.

"So it's about whatever you and Sam have going on?" He asked. I nodded, taking a deep breath. "Then just tell me."

"I can't." I told him, stepped away from him. "I have to do something that I'm just really nervous about." I told him.

"So don't do it and just tell me what's going on." He said sitting on the bed.

I looked at him and smiled. I walked up to him and kissed him deeply, putting my fingers through his hair. "I'll be fine. Just a little bit of stage fright." I grinned and kissed him again. There was a knock on the door. I groaned and kissed Dean once more before going to the door. I looked through the peephole to see Sam. I opened the door and smiled at him.

"Are you ready?" He asked.

I sighed and nodded. I turned and grabbed my jacket from the chair. I went to Dean and kissed him deeply. "We'll be back by dawn." I told him.

"I don't like this." He told me.

"I know." I smiled and kissed his forehead. "But believe it or not you don't have to always be the strong one who leads us in and out. We've got this and then I'll fill you in." I said kissing his hair as I walked away.

I took a deep breath as I walked down the hall with Sam. He put his arm across my shoulders and kissed my hair. "We'll be done in no time." He said reassuringly.

I nodded and took his hand, hugging his arm with the other. We hailed a cab and then, before I was ready, we were at the club. Sam led me to the back and sweet talked our way in. I was the replacement for Anita Mills who was the latest victim. I played the cocky role as best I could. Being charming and seductive to get myself in place. Sam followed me in and to the dressing rooms. I changed into my skimpy outfit.

"I feel ridiculous." I told him as I looked at myself in the mirror.

"You look hot." Sam grinned at me.

"Shut up!" I said shoving him. I could feel my face start to burn as I blushed.

"Evy, you could be wearing sweats and a baggy t-shirt and you'd still be hot." Sam said and he wrapped his arms around my waist from behind.

"That's sweet but you're slightly biased." I told him.

"Yeah, and I should probably be beat. I'm practically your brother-in-law." He said and let me go.

I smiled but then my stomach fell and I looked at him. "What?" I said slightly breathlessly.

"You two are made for each other. It may not be official but it's close enough." He replied.

I smiled and looked at myself in the mirror again. It was basically a bra and underwear. It was sequenced and red. Someone could get lost in the cleavage I was showing off. The bottom wasn't as revealing, thank God, but showed off my lines. I pulled my hair out and it fell over my shoulder. It was nicely waved but it didn't really matter what it looked like. They wouldn't be paying attention to my face. I applied more makeup then I usually did but it looked all right. Or at least I hoped it did. I wasn't trusting Sam's opinion on any of this. Soon the manager came back and told me I was on. Sam kissed my cheek and left to find a seat. I groaned as I looked at myself in the mirror. _I can't believe I'm doing this._ I thought before turning and leaving the dressing room. My panic grew as I was put behind the curtain. My pole firmly in the stage. My stomach dropped again and I tried to picture Dean. He was the only one out there. I was dancing for him and for him alone. Or was I supposed to try that whole picture-the-audience-naked thing? My mind was doing far too much thinking and not focusing on the real issue. How the hell was I supposed to pull this off? I've never pole danced before. I've seen it done but to mimic that now was like asking water to become rum. I was screwed. I was really, really screwed. Then the music started. The curtain began to rise and I tried to focus. I put on my best serious face and strutted out onto the stage. The light was blinding and I thanked my lucky stars that I could barely see the audience in front of me. I went to the pole and gripped it, giving the best seductive stare I could. The music picked up and I gripped the pole bending back as I pressed my lower body against it. I pulled myself forward quickly letting my hair fly over my shoulder. The three minutes I was on stage were the longest three minutes of my life. I toyed with the pole. I swung around on it and jiggled things I never knew I could. Though while I danced I was also working. I looked around the audience, looking for anyone suspicious. Anyone who was watching me with a longingly I-want-to-kill-you-and-spill-your-blood sort of way. There was only one who really stood out to me. He was young, didn't look thirty yet. He was leaning forward, his elbows on his knees. When the song was done I made my way down from the stage and walked over to the suspicious man. I swung my leg around him, pressing myself against him. His hands moved to my thighs and he gripped them roughly.

"Do you like what you see?" I grinned down at him. He brought up his hand and dipped into his jacket pocket. He pulled out a small wad of money and slipped it into my top. His thumb brushed against my breast as he did it and it took all of me not to rip his hand off. "How kind of you." I grinned.

"I'll be seeing you." He said and stood with me in his arms. I dropped down from his arms and trailed my fingers across his chest as I moved on to the next man. I watched him leave and after letting a few others drool on me I returned to the back. "Thank God." I said when I saw Sam in the dressing room. "I'm so ready to go." I told him.

"You were a hit!" The manager told me coming in.

"I was?" I said shockingly. He gave me a confused look. "I mean, of course I was." I said putting on my cocky face.

The manager smiled and handed me a wad of money. "You're in." He told me. "The man you went to usually looks longer before he picks a girl. It seems like you may have gotten him on the first dance. If you want you can do another one."

I grinned at him before walking up, leaning my breasts against him. "Now, now, can't have too much a good thing. Wouldn't want them to get bored." I told him.

He grinned and slapped my ass before walking out. I took a deep breath and turned to Sam. He was laughing at me. I smacked him and quickly changed into my street clothes. The evening hadn't lasted very long but I was eager to get back to Dean. I would be back tomorrow night anyway.

* * *

It had been nearly a week since my first appearance on stage. Dean was still in the dark and I was once again in a skimpy outfit ready to go out on stage. I heard my stage name being called and soon I took the stage as the beautiful Gabrielle. Sam was in the audience, always on the lookout for anything that might do harm. The man that I had seen the first night was known as Ben Jefferson and had been there every night since then. I always went to him first after my dance and he always tipped well for any little favor I was willing to give him. I never gave him much, just left him wanting more. Only tonight I was in for a surprise.

"Can you sing?" The manager asked me. He was a big black man but decent. I learned to like him a lot.

"What?" I asked nervously. "Please don't tell me your going to make me do what I think you are?" I told him.

"Daisy is sick and they need someone to do a musical number." Dawson told me.

"Dawson, I can't sing." I told him.

"Try it. Sing for me right now." He told me.

I looked at him and groaned. He raised a brow at me. I thought a moment before clearing my throat. I didn't know what to sing. I'm not a singer. But I had to think of something and something fast. "_Oh mama I'm afraid for my life from the long arm of the law. Law man had put an end to my running and I'm so far from my home. Oh mama I can hear you a crying you're so scared and so alone. Hangman is coming down from the gallows and I don't have very long._" I played the beat in my head before continuing. "_The jig is up the news is out they finally found me –"_ I stopped when he put up his hand. I lowered my chin and just looked up at him with a pouty expression. I couldn't help but smile as I thought of Dean and I singing that song. Loudly and more then likely very off key.

"Good enough. Now change into a dress." He told me.

I groaned and returned to the dressing room. I found a black dress that was floor length but had a large enough slit in the side that my full leg showed when I walked. I changed into a skimpy bra and undies before going to the stage.

"You're on in five." Dawson said bumping me.

"What am I supposed to sing?" I asked him.

"Whatever you just sang to me." He replied.

"That's not the kind of song to sing to these guys." I told him, freaking out.

"Sing whatever the hell you want. Just don't make it a really sappy one." He said looking down at me.

"Help me?" I said pleadingly. "What kinds of songs do these men like?" I asked.

"Figure it out." He told me and walked away.

"I hate you!" I yelled after him. I could hear him laughing. I tried to think of a song but the only songs I really knew were classic rock songs. "I am _so_ screwed."

I took a series of deep breaths, trying to think but nothing was coming to mind. I could hear my name being announced and now was the time to figure it out or I was so, so very screwed. One came to mind but I wasn't sure of the words but I thought I might be able to make it up. Katy liked it and I'd heard it enough to be relatively sure I could come up with the words. There was a DJ that played the music and I told him what to play. He grinned and nodded at me before I turned away from him. I went back to the stage and waited for the music to start. The curtain stayed closed and I knew that I would have to make an entrance. I thought I was going to die when the music started and I threw open the curtain and strutted out. I played with the pole as I sang to The Hollies _Long Cool Woman_. It was dirty enough and I hoped the men would find it at least a little entertaining. I got a standing ovation when it was over and I readily accepted it. Instead of going down the front of the stage I slipped back through the curtain and to the dressing room. I went in and started to change. I heard the door and thought it was Sam. I heard the click of the door lock and turned to see Ben Jefferson standing with his hand still on the door.

"Mr. Jefferson…" I said looking at him as I pulled a robe on.

"Please, call me Ben." He smiled.

"Ben." I smiled.

"I loved the song. Didn't think you'd be able to sing but you surprised me." He grinned as he stepped toward me.

"I'm glad you liked it. But I was about to change and leave for the night." I told him.

"I don't think so." He told me. "I was wondering if you'd do just one more dance tonight. I'd pay you for your trouble." He grinned.

"Are you talking about a stage dance or a personal one?" I asked him.

"How about both? I'd make it worth your while."

I looked at him and, for the mission's sake, I agreed. An hour later I was dressed and on my way toward the stage. Only I didn't get the usual entrance. Instead they were going to lower me down from a swing and they were going to make me sing again. I wanted to fight them on it but a large wad of money was put into my hands and I couldn't say 'no' to that. The outfit was very stylish with a halter top that had strings of beads that covered my abdomen but left my back basically naked other then the string of fabric that was holding the top on. This time I sang _To Be With You_ by Mr. Big. I managed to make most of the corrections needed to make it girl friendly. I was fond of the song and it was upbeat enough for me to get away with it. It was horrible but I was actually having fun. Singing and dancing wasn't as hard as it seemed and the crowd was easy to please. It was an exhilarating experience. One that I would be ready to give up though. It was fun for a while but as soon as this thing was done the better. The lights dimmed and I looked out at the crowd. I walked off the stage on my way to flatter Ben. I straddled his lap and put my arms around his neck. I was about to reel him in when my stomach fell. My eyes were locked on the man who was the one person I didn't want to see here. He was looking at me with that face that made me want to get up and run. He shook his head and moved toward me. I tried to silently plead with him to stay back but it wasn't working. Dean was headed straight for me and was going to blow my cover. I had to do something and I had to do it fast.

"Come on, handsome." I whispered in Ben's ear. "Let's get out of here."

"Anything you want gorgeous." He said wrapping his arm around my waist as he led me from the main room.

He followed me to the dressing room. I changed as fast as possible and then took his hand as I rushed us from the club. His car was waiting when we walked out the door and I quickly slid into it. I had a skimpy black dress on and it rose up when I slid in. I caught Ben's eyes on my thigh and for a moment he gripped it but I quickly took his hand in mine, playing with his fingers. He seemed pleased enough with that. I tried to keep my head in the game but my mind kept going back to Dean. I wouldn't let anything happen. Nothing but the smallest amount of foreplay that I could get away with. This had the potential to spin wildly out of control but I would do everything possible to make sure that didn't happen.


	11. Mad Men Don't Play Nice

_**Chapter Eleven: Mad Men Don't Play Nice**_

My heart was pounding the entire way. I was almost relived when the car finally stopped next to, what looked like, an abandoned warehouse. _Why, _why_, does it always have to be warehouses? Can't demons find anywhere decent to live?_ I thought as we walked inside of it. My thoughts only half came true when we walked in. The inside was very much refurbished. There was music played and people wandering here and there. Most looked like they were high on something and it sure as hell wasn't life. People don't respect life until it's been taken from them. Believe me, I know. My mind was flooding with everything but what I was supposed to be doing. This was a fucking breeding grounds for demons. There was more then one that I recognized. We may have been a bit off with our initial findings. They may be summoning but they were also housing demons. There were cameras everywhere. We passed a set of monitors and it was clear that there was more then one shapeshifter among them. My heart started to beat even faster. I tried not to show it but it was hard. My initial reaction wasn't fear but defense. I couldn't give anything away just yet. Ben still had to think that I was some normal girl. I jumped twice on queue just to be as convincing as possible. He led me through the crowd and up three flights of stairs before he led me to a locked room. He opened the door with a key and ushered me in. I smiled and stepped inside. There were flowers and candles lit around the room. I turned and faced him. In an instant he pulled me against him. He slammed his lips against mine. If he thought this was good kissing he was sadly mistaken. It was somewhat painful and completely resistible. This game was getting harder and harder to play. He pushed me backward until I felt the edge of the bed behind my knees. He kissed me hard before pushed me back on top of it. I crawled toward the headboard, laying back as he moved over me. I was still unsure of what I was going to do but if it came down to it he would leave unconscious in some random trunk. I knew where they were located. He would attempt to kill me soon but that wouldn't happen. If Sam had been on top of things he should be outside right now, waiting for my call. I kissed him as I thought, buying some time. He put his hands in mine, pinning them to the bed. I was all prepared to start the hurting when I felt something around my wrist. I heard several clicks as the cuff tightened. I frowned and looked at it. He quickly locked the other half to the headboard.

"What are you doing?" I asked him.

His hand moved to my throat. He ran his tongue up my neck before placing his lips by my ear. "Do you honestly think I don't know who you are?" He asked.

A dread filled me and I frowned at him. "And who might that be?" I asked him.

"A hunter." He replied.

He grinned down at me, his hand still on my throat. "Oh, good for you." I smiled at him. A second later I clocked him across the jaw. He fell off the bed and I yanked on the handcuffs. I felt it start to sink into my wrist. "Damn it." I said as he started to get up.

"I don't think so." He said and threw himself on top of me.

It was easy to knee him in the groin and he fell off of me. I still had the use of one arm. I swung off of the bed and faced him. I had to stand sideways but it was going to have to work. He came at me and I gave him a sidekick to the abdomen. While he recovered I yanked as hard as I could on the cuff. I could feel blood start to drip down my arm. I had to somehow break the post that it was attached to. Ben was on his feet again and he came at me. His hands found my shoulders and he slammed me against the wall. My head hit it hard making my vision fade before coming back. I yanked once more on the post and it finally started to creak before snapping. I hit Ben across the jaw before running for the door. My hand touched the knob before I was hit over the head and everything went black.

* * *

When I came to there was whispering all around me. I was on my stomach. My head throbbing with a heavy pulse. I frowned and put my hand to my head. A nice large lump on the back of it. I groaned and lifted it, seeing where I was. The whispering was from several women in the room. There was wire fencing surrounding three out of the four sides of the cage, a concrete wall at the back of it. I frowned harder and got to my hands and knees. My wrist tore with pain and I looked at it. Blood was still coming out of the wound but it would clot. I held it against me as I pushed myself back onto my heels. I massaged my neck before looking at the women. They were all in their skimpy outfits. It was the missing women from the club. I recognized some of the pictures I had seen. I stood and looked at the door of the cage. There were several deadbolts. I sighed and ran my fingers through my hair. I turned back to the girls and they were all staring at me.

"Hi." I said and gave a small wave.

"Are you from the club?" One of them asked.

I nodded. I went to the door and rattled it. I rattled it louder but nothing happened.

"Don't do that." One of the girls whispered harshly.

"Why not?" I asked, looking out of the cage. "Something going to happen?"

"They'll come." Another whispered softly.

I turned back to them, crossing my arms and looking at them closely. They were terrified. I wasn't sure what had happened to them but there were a few with very familiar marks on their bodies.

"What happened to you?" I asked them.

"They bit me." One told me, a few others nodded.

"I can't even describe what they did." Another said softly.

"You have no idea." Another added.

"I may have an idea." I told them and turned back to the cage door. A moment later Ben came walking into view. "Benjamin!" I grinned when he came up to the door. "How the heck are ya?"

"What are you doing?" One frantically whispered. They were all cowering in the corner.

"Comfortable?" He smiled, as he put his fingers through the cage.

"Extremely." I grinned and elbowed his fingers as hard as I could. The wire moved with my force but I felt a couple press into it.

"You just don't give up do you?" He grinned as he massaged his fingers.

"I'm a hunter, remember?" I reminded him.

"So you're admitting to it?" He asked.

"Did I ever deny it?" I countered.

"The boys will have fun playing with you." He said with a cocky smirk.

"I'm sure they will." I smiled. "But tell me this, do you summon or just house?"

"What do you think?" He asked.

"Both." He just smiled at me. I nodded at him. That was enough of a confirmation for me. "So what is your master plan?"

"Like I'm going to tell you." He laughed.

"Then let me guess. You summon and house demons in order to use them against the city before unleashing them on wherever you want in order to get some sort of financial gain and power over the people you're really afraid of. Am I close?" I asked him. He just looked at me. "Besides, you're going to kill me aren't you?" I asked.

"Probably not." He replied. "They aren't dead yet. You'll just be an addition to our little toy collection. Demons like having humans for pets."

I was in a real pickle. He had the upper hand and I was curious about what was going on around here. "Do you know Azazel?" I asked him.

"Yellow-eyes?" He grinned before nodding. "Yeah, I know him."

"You're a real cocky son of a bitch." I stated.

"In fact, he's here." He told me.

I looked at him before laughing. "What luck!" I exclaimed.

"What?" Ben asked, some of his cockiness gone.

"You should go get him." I told him, leaning against the cage. "He's an old friend of mine."

"I don't think so." Ben told me. "He doesn't deal with nobodies like you."

I laughed again. "You think _I'm _a nobody?" I asked. He just looked at me. "My name is Evy Connors." He clenched his jaw. "Oh, so you've heard of me?" I asked him. "And if you've heard of me, then you've heard of the Winchesters." I smiled. He took a step away from the cage. "So you can see the kind of position you are in. I _will _get out of here and I _will_ be the one personally kicking your ass." I grinned at him.

He kept his eyes on me but took several steps back before turning and quickly walking away. I grinned after him and heard him pick up pace once he was out of site. I gave a short laugh and turned, leaning my back against the wire. I crossed my arms before I felt all of the girls' eyes on me. I looked at them and they were staring at me with bewildered eyes. I cleared my throat as I wiped the smile off of my face. I knew Ben went to tell everyone who they were holding captive. It was one of those times when it was all right being me. My well known name in the demonic circles. It was obvious how well known we were when several demons started to filter in and out of the room. I paced the caged, watching all of them. I made a mental note of all the demons I knew for sure and ones I needed to look up later.

"Who the hell are you?" One of the girls asked me.

"Someone who's trying to save you." I replied.

"This is saving us?" Another asked.

"I may have run into a bit of a setback." I told her.

"A _bit_ of a setback." One added.

"Listen, if you don't want my help I'll find my own way out of here and leave you all behind." I told her even though it wasn't true. But it worked. No one asked any more questions. I didn't have time for them.

As I paced I took in everything inside the cage. Trying to find anything that might lead to my escape. But the more I looked the more I realized that I might be out of luck. Sam and Dean would come in time but I didn't know where they were. I ran my hand along the fence feeling for any flaw. Considering the condition of its other inhabitants I assumed that I would be the first to try and escape. I took a deep breath and turned to the girls.

"So, who has been here the longest?" I asked.

"Kari." One said and pointed at the Asian beauty closest to me.

"Hi Kari. I'm Evy." I said giving a small wave. She smiled at me. "Have you noticed any flaws in this cage?" I asked her.

She furrowed her brows as she thought a moment. "Not really. In that corner I thought it was starting to come apart a little on the top but other then that, no." She told me.

"Thank you." I smiled and walked to the left corner where the to wire sides connected. I stood in the corner and looked up. Sure enough there was a small piece of metal that was starting to curl outward. "There you are." I said softly and quickly averted my eyes pacing to the opposite corner and did the same thing. "Can they see us?" I asked Kari.

"I think so." She told me.

"Do they take someone every day?" I asked.

"No." Kari told me. "It's random."

"Okay." I said nodding.

"What are you thinking?" One asked.

I looked at her. "First, what are your names?"

They went around the group. There was Kari, Amanda, Mora, Nicki, Lisa, Helen, and Maria. I smiled at all of them. "I'm sorry you all are here." I told them sympathetically.

"It's not your fault." Amanda told me.

"So what are you thinking?" Maria asked me. She was a pretty Latino woman.

I looked at my feet before saying anything. I looked at them and they were looking at me with such hopeful looks. I was about to respond when I heard steps approaching. I turned and from the shadows came a familiar man.

"Hey, you made it." I grinned at him. "I just love seeing you."

"Heard you were asking for me." He replied.

"I figure you'd give an old friend a hand. Let me the heck out of here." I grinned at him.

"Can't do that sweetcheeks." He said putting one hand against the cage.

"And why is that?" I asked him. "We have a decent relationship. This could be your defining moment." I told him. He didn't move. "Call it a small token for the despair you've put my family through. For John…" I stated.

"So is that what you really want?" He grinned. "For me to apologize for taking John?"

"You shouldn't have made that deal." I told him.

"You were already dead. Why does it matter to you?" He asked.

"I may have been dead but that doesn't mean I didn't know what was going on. I knew what you did before I was resurrected." I replied.

"Hmph. You just can't let go can you? You were dead but you were still absorbed with the Winchesters and your hunter status." He stated.

I shrugged, "That's just who I am."

"Well, Evelyn, it was nice chatting with you." He said and turned.

"Azazel, open the door." I told him.

"Too many enemies here to let a hunter loose on them." He said without looking at me.

I sighed and watched him walk away, giving me a small wave. I groaned and turned back to the girls.

"Dead?" Helen asked.

"It's a long story that none of you need to know." I told them. "So, here is the plan." I said and squatted in front of them. I was going to get into it when a few of them were trying to avert their eyes from me. "What?" I finally asked.

"You have blood dripping from your wrist." Kari told me.

I looked and sure enough it had popped open again. It was running down my fingers as well. I sighed and put my other hand through my hair. "Don't worry about me. I'll live, I promise. What we need to worry about is getting the hell out of here. Now, no demon has passed by us for a while so the faster we act the better." I told them. "My boyfriend and his brother are going to be along soon enough but we can't count on them. I can do this but I need your help." I told them.

"And what do we do when we get out?" Lisa asked me.

"Fight." I told her. "Have any of you gone through any self defense classes?" I asked.

"I have." Amanda told me.

"So have I." Maria replied.

"Me too." Helen added.

"So what happened when you got here? Didn't you fight?" I asked them.

"The demons threw us off." Amanda replied.

I looked at them and nodded. "Yeah, sorry." I said standing up. "Okay, so I'm going to say this once and fast. As soon as it's out we are going to execute it as quickly as possible. Understand?" I asked. They all nodded eagerly.

* * *

We were all on our backs. If they were watching we had even less time then I had hoped we would. It would take some force to get it done but we would need to do it before it was too late. The plan was simple. Break out of the cage, run, and fight only if needed. I looked down the line and nodded, bending my knees till they were against my chest. They did the same. I whispered 'now' and together we slammed out feet against the wire. It moved slightly but not enough. I told them 'again' and together with slammed our feet against the wire. We did it again and again before any progress was seen. My heart was racing. We slammed it again and again and it gave way enough for us to slip out.

"Hurry!" I whispered harshly and slipped out. I waited and helped the girls squeeze out.

I heard commotion and rushed them away. Kari was the only one left to get out. She was nearly there when her skirt got caught on a piece of wire.

"Evy!" She whispered, her fear taking over.

"Hold on, hold on." I told her and quickly yanked on the fabric.

It tore and we made our way to the exit. The girls were slinking through the halls. We were quiet as we made our way. I moved to the head of the group. I didn't know the way out but hoped something would appear that would jog my memory. I caught a glimpse of the setting sun and followed the light it shed through the windows. We would get to one end of the building and from there make it down and out. It was all working smashingly until three men appeared at the end of the hall.

"Shit." I said softly. "Run. I'll take care of them." I told them.

"We're not going to leave you alone." Kari told me. The others agreed with her.

"I don't have time to argue." I told them. "Just go."

"No." Kari said and they all stood their ground.

"Fine." I told them and faced the men.

Only it had turned from three to five. Not only in front of us but behind us as well. I was all geared to fight. One would have to have a weapon I could steal. They were clearly vampires as they came toward us, letting their teeth show. I frowned and ran at them. I hit the first hard but the second hit me into the wall. I saw a knife visible on the first. I went for it, feeling the teeth in my shoulder as I did. It was a small price to pay for acquiring his weapon. As soon as I had it I stuck it into his back. He yelled in pain and pulled away from me. As soon as I had the chance I put the knife against my arm before swinging it at the man slicing halfway through his neck. It was enough damage to keep him preoccupied, even though without full beheading he would still exist. I did the same to the first who attacked me but the third was behind me before I could turn on him. The girls were taking care of the other two. One was a shapeshifter and the other was something else. I didn't get a good look at it before it ran. I knew reinforcements would be on the way. I felt the knife cut a gash in my back. I worked through the pain, turning and slashing at him. He leaned back, averting the blade. When he had an opening he punched me hard, coming in contact with my right cheekbone. He backhanded me immediately after and I felt the blood drip from the cut it had caused. I lunged at him, burying the blade in his belly. It wasn't good enough. He slashed at me. I fell backward, avoiding the blade. He walked toward me as I scrambled away from him. He lunged at me but I flattened myself against the wall. He tripped and fell amongst his fallen comrades. I leaned forward and cut both his Achilles tendons. He screamed and was unable to stand as I ran away from him. I slashed the abdomen of the shapeshifter as the others pushed another being out the window. I watched it fall. Quickly taking in what lay outside the window. I saw the roof of a shorter building.

"Okay, plan B." I told them and ran down the hall until we were above it. "The trick is to roll when you land. Or something like that." I told them.

"Or something like that?" Amanda said looking at me.

I shrugged, "It's not that far." I said and used my elbow to break through the glass.

I kicked the rest of the window out and looked down. It was maybe a few yards below us. It was a hefty fall but one that we would survive. I looked at them before launching myself out of the window. I kept my eyes on the roof and hit it hard but intact. The others followed me. Lisa was the only one who was injured, her ankle snapped when she hit. Helen hurt her shoulder but over all we were all safe. There was a broken down truck against the wall and I jumped on top of it before waiting for the others. I helped Lisa to the ground before putting her arm over my shoulders. Kari took her other and together we made a run for it. We were out of the city. Forest on one side with fields on the other. We ran and disappeared into the trees before anyone could follow. We went in as deep as we could before the sun set. The night would be cool but together we would be able to keep warm and keep moving in the morning. We were safe, that was all that mattered.

* * *

I watched over them as they slept. I didn't trust the woods or what could be coming after us. We couldn't travel in the dark and I had no way of getting in touch with my men. I paced the trees but finally settled down against the trunk of a tree. My eyes had been closed only moments before I shot awake. The girls were still asleep. I heard a twig snap nearby and shot to my feet. I moved around the tree to see Azazel smiling at me. I crossed my arms. I wasn't awake. I was dreaming, only he had fun making appearances in them. Though not only mine. At least that made me feel better.

"What do you want?" I asked him.

"Made it out all on your own." He grinned.

"Of course I did." I frowned at him. "I'm not some useless girl."

"I'm well aware of that." He laughed. "And now you're watching over your charges."

"They didn't deserve what happened to them." I told him.

"No, but bad things happen to good people." He stated.

I nodded. "Are you here for any specific reason?"

"Nope." He replied.

"Then I would really like to get some rest." I told him.

He nodded and then peace came to me as well as darkness as sleep took me. When I woke up the sun was high and most of the girls were awake. I stood and rubbed the sleep from my eyes. We had slept too long. I looked around and woke the ones who were still asleep. I was just about to make some motivational speech to get them moving when Kari moved to my side, putting her hand on my arm. I looked at her and she pointed to the sky. There was a large billow of smoke coming from the place we had left behind. I felt the need to go back. I needed to see what happened. I looked at Kari and told her to stay put. I was going to see what happened and then I'd be back for them. No one was very happy about it. I did the best I could to comfort them but simply told them that if they heard anything to run. I gave Kari my number and told her to call if they were forced to run. I nodded at them and started to run back the direction we had come. My breathing was heavy by the time I saw the flames in through the trees. I was shocked. My jaw literally dropped. The warehouse was in rubble with several bodies of different beings on the ground. I was just about to step through the trees when I was blindsided. I hit the ground hard and scrambled away from my attacker. I turned to see a badly burned Ben stumbling toward me.

"Jesus…" I said looking at him.

"I'm going to kill you!" He yelled and came at me with a hefty looking knife in his hands.

"Sure." I said watching him.

He was hurt and angry. Two things that made people make mistakes. He lunged at me. I moved underneath the knife bringing my knee up, catching him in his stomach. I could hear the air leave his lungs. As he fell I turned and grabbed his wrist, twisting it as I grabbed the knife from him.

"Sorry, Ben." I said looking down at him. I punched him, knocking him out. I moved from the trees and looked around. There were still fires flaming. It was fresh. I looked around and saw someone walking toward me. I squinted through the haze and a grin came to my face from ear to ear. "Baby!" I grinned running toward him. "Dean!"

A second later he was running toward me. I rushed forward. It was one of those moments where you hear the soft lovey dovey song as the couple reunites. Then someone falls on their face. You laugh and wonder what that would feel like. That was me in this moment. I was so ecstatic to see him and I was nearly there when I tripped over a piece of concrete. I went down hard but couldn't stop laughing. Dean was there a second later and I could hear him laughing. I put my arm up and he grabbed it, helping me to my feet. I looked at him and wrapped my arms around his neck. I kissed him deeply even though I was still laughing.

"Hi." I grinned at him.

"Hi." He smiled and moved my hair away from my face. "How are you?" He asked resting his hand on my face.

"I'm doing good." I smiled and kissed him again. "What took you so long?"

He gave a short laugh and kissed me deeply. "I think you managed to take care of yourself."

"Yeah, but you brought the finale." I smiled and leaned against him.

"You are some woman." He told me as he ran his fingers through my hair.

"Yeah, just trying to keep up with my boy." I said and kissed him.

He laughed and kissed me gently. "You had me worried."

"Yeah, I was worried too for a while. But I got it covered."

"I wish you had just let me in." He said sadly.

I gave a short laugh, taking a step away from him. "Have you seen what I'm wearing?" I asked him. "Would you have allowed me to play the role of a stripper without getting into a fight with every man who laid eyes on me?"

He looked at me with a raised brow, curling his finger over his chin. "Yeah, you're right. I wouldn't have let you."

"Well, my outfit isn't in the best shape right now. I fought vampires and other beings, jumped from a window, and ran till my legs gave out. I did all of that with seven girls to watch over." I told him. "Speaking of which, I have to go get them."

"Come on." He said wrapping his arm around my waist. "Lead the way." He said and kissed me again.

"Wait." I said stopping him. "Where is Sam?" I asked him.

"Sammy!" He yelled over his shoulder.

A moment later he came from around the corner. "Sammy!" I yelled and ran to him, throwing my arms around his neck. I kissed his cheek before resting my chin on his shoulder.

"I'm glad you're safe." He told me caressing the back of my head.

"I love you, Sam." I whispered and kissed his shoulder.

"Love you too." He said and released me.

"Come on, I'm going to need you too." I said taking his hand.

I led him back to Dean before letting his hand go, lacing my fingers with Dean's. "I love you." I whispered with my lips next to his ear.

"I love you too baby." He said and kissed me again. "Even though you're in big trouble."

"You can punish me later." I smiled and kissed him deeply. I laughed and stepped in front of him. "God! I can't seem to stop kissing you." I grinned and kissed him again. "I feel so good in your arms."

"I like having you there." He smiled and pulled me against him tightly. "I'm just to damn in love with you. I don't want you to stop."

"Good, because I never will." I said kissing him again.

I was so happy to see him. I was so happy to be back in his arms. Especially after what I had done behind his back. Later I would tell him everything that happened but for now I had to get my priorities in line. I needed to get the girls. I needed to get them to safety. They were ecstatic to see me when I finally came into view. Not only because I was back but I had reinforcements. I told them what had happened. The place they had every right to fear had been blown to bits along with everything inside. There were more then likely survivors but nothing that they would have to worry about. They were very happy and there was cheering and dancing around. I caught Sam watching them with a slightly glazed look. I 'spose it wasn't every day that he saw a bunch of beat up strippers dancing in the woods. I laughed and looked at Dean. He had a similar look on his face. I frowned and smacked his chest. He just looked at me and grinned, though his face flushed. Sam did the honors of carrying Lisa. Her ankle was swollen beyond belief and she couldn't put any weight on it anymore. I felt my jealousy twang as some of the girls fawned over my man. But I didn't let it get to me. I walked with Kari until we were back at the warehouse. We hijacked a few of the cars and loaded up the girls. We drove back into the city, dropping them off at their respective homes. All of them had made the decision to quit the club but I couldn't blame them. After all, I was quitting too.

It was a glorious feeling when we were back at the hotel. I took a nice long hot shower which was made even longer when Dean joined me. He cleaned my wounds and gave me some pleasure before we went back out to the main room. Sam was in his own room and tonight I was very much grateful for that. I wanted some time with Dean. Loving every minute of it. We laid on the bed, facing each other. He was running his fingers up and down my body. I put my hand on his chest, feeling his heart beat underneath it. Our faces were only a few inches apart. I stared into his hazel eyes, losing myself in them. He stared back with the same intensity. I kept my eyes on his and kissed him.

"Not to ruin the moment but uh, do you want me to tell you everything?" I asked him.

"Do you want to tell me?" He countered.

"I'm not hiding anything from you. I won't keep anything from you if you want to know."

"You didn't sleep with anyone did you?" He asked.

I frowned at him. "No, of course not." I told him sternly. "I would never do that to you. I know what it feels like. I would _never_ do that to you." I said and kissed him sweetly.

"I didn't think you would, but I had to ask." He replied. "If you did I wouldn't be mad." He added.

I just gawked at him. "Dean…" I said and sat up. He did the same. I crossed my legs and faced him. "Listen, I know we've had a rough time with this sort of thing. You slept with Cassie and I took it badly. I took it hard and I was hurt beyond belief." I told him.

"Evy…" He said putting his hand on my cheek.

"No." I told him and took his hand away, holding it in my lap. "What happened happened and I'm over it. We've moved past it and we're better for it. But that doesn't excuse anything. There are no paybacks. I'm not going to hurt you and turn around and say, 'See what it feels like?' No, I'm not that girl. I will never hurt you like that, Dean." I said putting my hand on his face. "I know we say it but do you really understand what I mean when I say that I love you? I love every piece of you. I love your voice, your body, your lips…" I said and laughed. "I love your hair, the way you handle yourself, your music, your _soul_…" I said and looked at him. "There aren't words for how much I love you. This thing…right here." I said pointing at the both of us. "This is what people wish for. This is what people want and we've got it. I have you and that's all I need." I told him and took his hands in mine, taking a deep breath. "So I'm going to tell you what happened. I pole danced. I played with the pole. Never thought I would but there I was doing it anyway. I even sang and people liked it." I said and laughed. "When I saw you I freaked. Not only because I was finally getting the guy to take me to where the others were. I thought you were going to ruin it. But most of all, I was afraid I wouldn't be able to go through with it. I needed to do it to save the girls but I couldn't face you when I was doing something I was uncomfortable with and had kept from you. So he took me to the warehouse and there was some kissing. But it hurt and he sucked at it but I did it to get him into a position where I could take him out." I explained. "And that's it. He knew I was a hunter so after that the fighting started. So all there was, was some mild kissing that was completely disgusting. I'd take the vampire bites and the knife wounds before I did anything that would hurt you." I said, finally done. But when he didn't say anything I was slightly concerned. "And I hope you feel the same way." I added. I just looked at him and he just laughed. "What?" I said feeling my face flush.

"Do you really think you needed to say any of that?" He grinned at me.

"What?" I said giving him a pouty face.

"You don't need to defend yourself. You don't need to justify anything. You didn't need to say anything at all. You've got me." He said with a shrug. "You've had me since the moment I saw you. Even when we hated each other you had me. Don't worry about this thing we have. It's forever and I know that. We both do." He said and moved closer to me. "We've surpassed the normal couple and we've gone to something that's more then what anyone else has. I'm not surprised by that and I'm not going to fight it. I love you more than anything in this world, or beyond it. With that said…" He said and reached behind him, digging in his coat pockets. He pulled out a small velvet box. I gasped and looked at him. He opened it up to show me a simple silver engagement ring with a beautiful diamond nearly half the size of a dime. It was gorgeous. It was simple yet elegant. I just gaped at him. He got off the bed. I moved to the edge of it and he knelt on one knee. "Evy Connors, would you do me the great honor of becoming my wife?" He said confidently, though I knew he was nervous. I couldn't seem to get my mouth to close. I tried to talk but only inaudible noise came out. He just laughed and took my left hand in his. "Come on, don't leave me hanging here." He grinned.

"Yes!" I finally managed to yell. "Yes! God, yes!" I said as he slid the ring onto my finger. I grinned and threw my arms around his neck. "Oh baby." I said and kissed him passionately. "I can't believe this!" I said taking his head in my hands.

"Yeah, me neither." He said and kissed me hard, his hands moving up and down my back.

"Alright, enough talking. Just get these clothes off of me." I told him airily.

"Okay." He whispered as his hands moved to the base of my shirt.

I went for his pants undoing them before he pulled my shirt over my head. I pulled his off shirt and he stepped out of his pants as he gently pushed me onto the bed. I undid my pants and pushed them off as he crawled over me. His lips traced my skin from my bellybutton to my neck before finding my lips. The sex was more enthusiastic then it had ever been. There was no end to the depths of the happiness I was feeling. I never wanted it to end. I never wanted him to stop touching me.


	12. Pointless Worry

**Disclaimer: Nothing you recognize from supernatural is mine. Evy and everything you dont...that is from me.**

**A/N: So here is another chapter. Its more of a filler but still a little bit fun. It doesn't seem like people like this one as much but I promise it gets more exciting. Just hang in there and everyone loves a reivew. Though I've pretty much given up on reviews. This story is already complete. So in the one I have for the third season and I'm in the process of writing the forth. So hand in and bear with me. Even without the reviews I'm still completely in love with the show and love writing about it. I've fallen for my character and her place in the Winchesters lives. And just wait...there is so much more fun to be had.**

**Enjoy!**

**And no matter what, thanks for reading. =]**

* * *

_**Chapter Twelve: Pointless Worry**_

_It's a little bit funny_

_This feeling inside_

_I'm not one of those who can easily hide_

_Though I don't have much money_

_But boy if I did_

_I'd buy a big house where we both could live_

Sunlight made it shine prisms on the wall. I couldn't stop staring at it. Nor could I stop smiling. I was so ecstatic. It had been over a day since we'd left the room. I was alone now while Dean grabbed food but that was okay. I sent a mass text to everyone I knew, telling them that I was engaged. It was like a dream. I still couldn't believe it. Dean had asked me to marry him and I had agreed whole heartedly. It was so fantastic. My jaw hurt from smiling so much. I was staring at my ring when I sat up. I knew he was coming. I didn't know how, but I did. I was suddenly so frickin excited. I faced the door and a few moments later Dean came in with bags of food.

"What?" He grinned at me.

"Nothin." I replied with a very girly voice.

"Miss me?" He grinned.

"Yes, you can never leave again." I told him and ran to him, jumping into his arms.

He dropped the bags and caught me. I wrapped my legs around his waist as he hands formed around my ass. I ran my fingers through his hair and kissed him deeply.

"I'm not hungry anymore." I whispered and kissed his earlobe.

He laughed before throwing me onto the bed. I grinned at him, gripping his arms as he crawled on top of me. I looked up at him, feeling subdued now. All he had to do was look at me and I would do anything he wanted. He kissed me passionately, our eyes never leaving each other. I arched my body against him. He smiled and trailed his lips down my jaw and to my neck. My breath caught in my throat. He lowered himself on top of me, his fingers knotting in my hair. My fingers dug into his back as I cemented my body to his. His shirt hung loosely on me. His hand moved underneath the shirt. I quivered and my excitement grew as I felt his hot breath on my skin, his fingers moving gently across my body. We were just getting to the good part when there was a knock on the door. I groaned and gripped tighter to him when he moved to answer it.

"Don't go." I told him.

He sighed and kissed me deeply before getting off the bed. He opened the door and then someone I would have thought I'd never see again walked into the room.

"Seriously?" I asked looking at her.

"Evy." She grinned.

"Kate." I said as I slid off of the bed.

"Nice shirt." She smirked with raised brows.

I sighed and ran my fingers through my hair, but a second later she was in front of me taking my hand.

"What is this?" She grinned holding my left hand.

I blushed and shrugged. "Dean proposed." I told her unable to keep the grin off of my face.

"I should end you right now." Dean told her.

"What happened wasn't my fault." She told him. "He's dead, by the way." She smiled at me.

"You like me enough to kill one of your groupies? Should I feel honored?" I asked her.

"He was a pain in the ass and questioned my authority on a daily basis. He had it coming. When he shot you I figured it gave me enough of an excuse to cut him loose." She told me.

"Hmph." I said and eyed her. "And you come to me now? That was weeks ago. I'm all healed from that."

"Not from something new though, huh?" She said looking at me.

"I'm always having a little bit of fun." I smiled.

"I was in town and heard you were here."

"Kill anyone lately?" Dean asked her.

"You're cute." Kate smiled, patting his cheek.

He leaned away from her. I smiled and went to him. I put my arm around him. "It's okay." I smiled at him. "She's not so bad."

"And from what I've heard you and Sam have met a few _friendly _vampires along the way." She said circling him.

"What?" I frowned.

"We'll talk about it later." Dean told me.

"Why not now?" Kate grinned as she sat on the edge of the bed.

"Dean?" I asked.

"It was a job while you were gone." He told me. "It was a thing with Gordon. It turned out in the Vampires favor. She was decent."

I nodded, "Okay."

"Okay? That's it?" Kate grinned.

"If Luther had kept something from you and then gave you a vague explanation like that, are you telling me that you wouldn't just say 'Okay'?" I asked her.

She just looked at me, a sad expression crossing her face. "No, you're right. I would let it go."

I sighed and sat on the bed next to her. "I'm still very sorry about Luther." I told her. "I'm sure it's a lot harder on you then it would be for us."

"How?" Dean shot at me. "You can't say that when you don't know." He got that look on his face.

"Are we going to live forever?" I asked him. "If you were gone, as horrible as it would be, I would be forced to go on. I would get old and die. Kate's not going to die. Not ever. How could it get any worse than that?" I asked him. He didn't say anything. He just looked at me with a distant look I knew well. "Baby…" I said and stood, going to him. I put my hand on the back of his head, running the back of my index finger down his cheek. I smiled at him and kissed him sweetly.

"Okay, well, that's enough for me." Kate said getting up. "I'll leave the happy couple alone. Just wanted to pass on the news about the bad vamp." She grinned. "Call it an engagement present." She said and let herself out.

"I hope we don't see her any time soon." Dean told me.

"Me too." I said and kissed him deeply.

* * *

We were supposed to be working. We were gathering useful information about a vengeful spirit. Well, they were, it was me who was doing anything but something helpful. I caught myself staring through the window of a bridal shop. A gorgeous gown on display. The urge was too strong and I went into the shop. I was immediately greeted and the ring on my finger gave me away before I could say a word. I was ushered off and it was too easy to convince me to try on just one dress. Only one turned into two to three and so on. It was horrible and yet wonderful all at the same time. I stood among the circle of windows and looked at my reflection. The dress was strapless, with beading down the front and back. There were hardly any words for it. The train was perfect in length. They put a vail on that hung down the length of my back. A simple tiara held my hair back nicely while some hung over my shoulders. I sighed and turned around stepping down from the pedestal.

"Everything all right?" One of the women who were helping me asked.

"Yeah, this is all wonderful and all but…" I said pulling out the sides of the dress. "It's just all a little too soon. It's barely been a week since he proposed."

"Have you picked a date yet?" She grinned. They were all very enthusiastic.

"No, not yet."

"Are you thinking big or small?" She asked. "This dress would look fantastic with either." She stated.

I smiled at her. She wasn't getting the hint. "I think I'm just going to change. It's just not time yet." I told her and went into the dressing room.

I changed and thanked them before leaving. I twirled the ring on my finger. I walked down the street and it seemed like anything and everything associated with weddings was in every window. I passed several flower shops, a stationary shop, another bridal shop, and that was only a few of them. It was more depressing then I had thought it would be. While I was looking at myself in that beautiful dress something occurred to me. Something I had pushed aside not wanting to think about it. But it was there, like a stain you can't scrub out. I finally had enough. I found the nearest ice cream parlor and bought the biggest bowl I could of chocolate chip cookie dough. I found a bench and sat down, devouring the ice cream. I probably looked like some kind of pig but I didn't care. I was starting to feel ill but I kept eating it. Soon someone sat in front of me. I glanced up and Sam was smiling at me.

"Hey." I said sadly.

"You okay?" He frowned.

"It doesn't matter." I told him.

"Of course it does." He told me. "What is it?"

"What's the point?" I said looking up at him.

"How much of that have you eaten?" He countered.

"Not enough to fill the bottomless pit that I'm in." I told him, staring into the bowl.

"You've had enough." He said taking the bowl from me.

"Hey." I said reaching for it but he pulled it out of my reach. "Come on, I'm having my own personal pity party."

"About what?" He said taking a big bite.

"That's mine." I said giving him my best pouty face.

"That doesn't work on me." He grinned. "It may make Dean do whatever the heck you want but…not me." He said and took another big bite.

"You're mean." I frowned at him.

"Spill and I'll give it back." He goaded.

"It's just…" I said and shrugged.

"Just what?" He asked.

"This whole wedding thing." I replied.

"What about it? You've been so excited." He stated.

"I know. But I was in a bridal shop earlier and was trying on dresses –"

"You were trying on dresses?" He said cutting me off, a big grin on his face.

"Yup." I said nodding. "And then it occurred to me that the whole thing is pointless. There is nothing normal about our relationship. We're frickin demon hunters! I'm never going to get the white dress wedding with all our family and friends there. We won't get to argue about flowers and stationary and which picture to use for our 'Save the Dates'. We won't be able to do any of those things. So why bother?" I said and reached for my ice cream.

Sam gave it up like he said he would. I took another big bite and felt like I needed more. I was even considering it when my stomach lurched and it almost came back up. I pushed the bowl back over to Sam who just grinned and started to eat it.

"No words of wisdom?" I asked him.

"You can have all of those things if you really want them." He told me.

"How?" I asked.

"I don't know." He told me. "But if you really want it he'll make it happen. I'll help."

"Thanks." I smiled at him.

"Do you want all of that?" He asked.

I looked at him and thought. "No, not really." I replied. "It would be nice, but in the end all I want is Dean. It's just that I've been to plenty of weddings, and heard about them, and wish that I could have that. But it doesn't matter. Not really."

"Thought so." Sam grinned and winked.

"Thanks, Sammy." I smiled at him. "I just worry that as good as all this feels it's going to fall apart."

"Why do you think that?" Sam frowned.

"There is something that's always after us. We will never be able to be a normal couple. We won't have the white picket fence or the kids or the fat grand babies. It's a dream and I don't want to be diluted with how happy this makes me." I explained.

"You don't need all of that to be happy. Dean is madly in love with you. I almost gave him away when I made that brother-in-law comment." He told me.

"So you were hinting at something?" I grinned at him. "How long was he planning this?" I asked him.

"Since you came back." He replied. "When you were gone he said that he would have married you. So, now that you're back he's going to." He just smiled and winked at me.

"I just don't want to screw this up." I told him, serious again.

"You won't." He said and took my hand in his. "I'd be more worried about him screwing it up." He grinned.

I laughed and put my other hand over his. "Again, thank you."

"You're welcome." He smiled and leaned over the table, kissing my hair. "You two have nothing to worry about."

"We don't?" I asked with a small smile.

"Of course not." He smiled back. "He'd go to the end of the world for you."

"Yeah, but that's what I'm worried about. I would do the same thing. That's the point. We would do anything for each other, and for you." I told him. "But the lengths we'd go to…the danger we'd put others in just to keep each other safe. Is it worth the risk? Others getting hurt because we're protecting each other?" I asked him.

"Is it?" He said turning it on me.

"I think so." I told him. "Does that make me a horrible person?" I asked him sadly.

He laughed and shook his head. "Not at all."

I grinned at him. "For the fourth time, Sammy. Thank you."

"This been weighing on you long?" He asked.

"Long enough." I replied. "I think we should find your brother now."

He smiled and stood, holding out his hand to me. I took it and he pulled me to my feet. I wrapped my arm around his waist and hugged him tight.

* * *

The night had been a success. The spirit was gone and we were in for a good night's sleep. Except for me. I sat at the table, watching them sleep. For whatever reason I couldn't sleep tonight. There was something keeping me awake. Feeling the need to watch over them. I sighed and walked to the window. There was nothing out there. We had done what we needed and the job was complete. Everyone was safe but it felt like something was being held over us. There was always something. If it wasn't some random demon then it was Azazel. I almost thought he was going to show up. It wouldn't be beneath him. I pushed the thought out of my head and ran my fingers through my hair before going back to the bed. I crawled in and laid on my side facing Dean. He was on his back. I put my hand on his face and gently turned it toward me. I ran my fingers down his face before leaving it on his cheek. I stared at him, listening to him breath as he slept. I moved closer to him, putting my forehead against his. I smiled and kissed his lips gently. I whispered to him that I loved him and put my arm around him, closing my eyes. If there was anything I was sure of, I knew that Sam had been right. I was worrying for nothing. I didn't care if I had a big wedding or not. This ring on my finger was a symbol. It proved that we were past our problems. I was in this forever and so was he. I would be happy if we did the whole city hall thing. It being official was all that I cared about. Just being near him was calming. Things would be okay. As long as we were all together.

_I know it's not much_

_But it's the best I can do_

_My gift is my song and this one's for you_

_And you can tell everybody_

_That this is your song_

_It may be quite simple but, now that it's done_

_I hope you don't mind,_

_I hope you don't mind,_

_That I put down in words_

_How wonderful life is_

_While you're in the world_


	13. Is It You?

_**Chapter Thirteen: Is It You?**_

_Sometimes I wonder if I'd ever make it through_

_This world without having you_

_I just wouldn't have a clue_

_Cuz sometimes is feels like this world is closing in on me_

_That there's no way of breaking free_

_Then I see you reach for me_

_Sometimes I wanna give up_

_Wanna give in_

_I wanna quit the fight_

_Then I see you baby_

_And everything's all right_

_Everything's all right_

_When I see you smile_

_I can face the world_

_You know I can do anything_

_When I see you smile_

_I see a ray of light_

_See it shinning right through the rain_

_When I see you smile_

_Baby when I see you smile at me_

I sang on the top of my lungs. I loved this song. I had the impala to myself for a while and was enjoying driving around and belting out to my favorite songs. It wasn't just that but the lyrics made me happy. Feeling like I was connected to some of them. Dean and me. When the song was done I lowered the volume before looking at the people walking the streets. There were couples here and there. Nothing seemed to be out of order, which didn't mean anything. We knew that something was going on. We were in research mode. Though I was distracted. I almost wished that Dean hadn't proposed. It seemed odd anyway. I never thought of him as the marrying type. If we were together forever without that kind of label and that was okay with me. I'd have him for as long as I could. I looked at my ring and smiled. No, I wanted to marry him. He would be mine forever. I laughed and took out my phone, dialing him.

"Hey!" I said enthusiastically.

"Hey." He replied, a smile in his voice.

"How's it going? Find anything useful?" I asked.

"Not yet, you?" He asked.

"So far the town looks normal. Been to a few places but no one seems to have noticed anything out of place or wacky." I told him.

"Then I guess the hunt continues." He stated.

"Okay, let me know if you find out anything." I told him.

"Always." He told me.

"Be safe." I told him seriously.

"You too."

I hung up and sighed. I loved hearing his voice. I loved everything about him. I was completely suffering from a giddy case of newly engagement. I thought he occupied my thoughts before but now I saw him everywhere. I was about to make a stop at the police station when I saw Dean walking down the road. I frowned and parked the car. I got out and ran after him.

"Dean!" I called. He didn't turn around. "Dean!" I said again. He still didn't turn toward me. I caught up with him and grabbed his arm. "Hey!" I said as I turned him toward me.

"Do I know you?" He asked me.

"Dean?" I frowned.

He pulled away and I watched him walk away from me. I frowned harder, confused as all hell as to what was going on. My mind immediately went through every possible reason. Anything that could portray him or make him forget. Something clicked in my head and I ran back to the impala, taking out Sam's video camera. When I turned he was already out of site but I needed to know and this was the best way. I went in the direction he had gone and found him walking down an alley. I moved forward, turning the camera on. I recorded as I went forward and was just about to touch him when he whipped around. I looked at him through the camera. I smiled as I saw his reflective eyes.

"There you are." I grinned at him.

"That's wasn't smart." He told me.

"Why would you take the form of someone who's so well known with your kind?" I asked him.

"Well known?" He said with a confused look. "I just took on the form of some meat I saw walking down the street."

"Really?" I asked.

"You should probably be afraid." He told me.

"I'm not stupid." I said and took a series of steps backward. I reached behind me and took the gun that was hidden there. I raised it and pointed it at him. "Silver bullets baby." I grinned at him.

"Ah, so you're a hunter." He grinned stepping toward me. "Too bad you didn't complete your research."

I frowned and the next second I was hit over the head.

* * *

When I came to the first thing I noticed was the horrible stench of a sewer. It took me a moment to get my eyes to open. They felt particularly heavy.

"I am so sick of being knocked out." I said aloud.

"If you had just left well enough alone." A voice came from the shadows.

I trickle of fear shivered down my spine. "Great." I said as I saw myself step out of the shadows. "Hey good-lookin'!" I grinned sarcastically.

"Yes, I have to say that your meat is the prettiest I've been in for quite some time." She grinned at me, resting her hand on the back of the chair.

"It won't work." I told it.

"Sure it will." The fake Dean said coming out of the shadows.

"Oh God." I said looking between them. "What is it that you think you're playing at?" I asked.

"We're going to have fun causing trouble for you and your men." Fake me told me.

"So you now know who we are." I stated.

"After our little encounter I figured there was something there." Fake Dean told me.

"Fan-frickin-tastic." I groaned.

"But don't worry. You'll be dead in just a matter of hours." Fake me said.

"What do you mean?" I asked her.

"See these spillways?" She said pointed at the four that was around us. A roar of thunder was heard through the concrete. "Hear that?" She grinned. "There's a storm coming and when the water starts to pour down it'll run right into here. The water will rise and then you'll go away." She said with an evil smirk.

"Wipe that look off my face." I told her. I didn't like seeing me like that. The only positive thing about it was that I looked scary. I was slightly proud that I was able to look as scary as the ones I hunted.

She laughed and put her hands on my forearms. "I like this meat I'm in. I think I'll wear you for a while. I've already got all your memories." She smiled. I must have been out for a while if they already had our memories. "I can almost feel the love for this guy here. We'll have fun killing him and taking both of your places in the world."

"You won't get away with this." I told her.

She laughed. "We already have."

"He won't fall for it." I told her.

"He doesn't have to." Fake Dean told me. "All we have to do is show him her." He said pointing at his mate. "She'll be able to convince him."

"He won't believe you." I told them. Though I myself wasn't convinced. "He'll come for me."

"No doubt." Fake Dean told me. "I've never seen a human feel so much toward anyone. He'll do anything for you. I can see it here." He said putting two fingers to his temple. "He will do whatever we tell him to if we tell him we have you." He said stepping up to me. "It'll be too easy to get him out of the way. It's Sam we might have trouble with."

"He'll kill you. Both of you." I told them.

"Yeah, but between the two of us we can take him." Fake me replied.

I just shook my head. They held a short conversation with each other before they tightened my ropes and left. I immediately tried to break free but it was no use. It was only a few minutes later when I could hear the rain start to come down above me. I wasn't afraid but this wasn't looking good either. I would get out of this just like every other time. I was sick of being the damsel in distress. Why couldn't one of the boys be taken hostage for a change? Next time, next time I would not be the one in this position. I knew that this was going to be hard. One was me. One was him. If they spilt up and took advantage of our memories Dean would have his guard down just long enough to be beaten. All my hope rested on Sammy. He had to do me proud this time. He needed to recognize that they weren't his brother or me. That they were things that needed to be killed. He wouldn't let me down. I knew he wouldn't.

"You damn shapeshifters!" I yelled out of frustration.

The ropes were too tight and I wasn't going to be able to break the chair. I closed my eyes and tried to control my breathing. Trying to feel for whatever in my brain let me move things. It wasn't the first time I had tried but I had yet to master, or even control, my new ability. I tried now and even though I was concentrating with all of me I couldn't seem to get it to work. The rain was coming down harder now and the water was pouring in faster. I took a deep breath and did what the normal human does in a situation like this. I screamed for help.

* * *

Dean walked down the street. Water pouring off his shoulders. Evy hadn't answered her phone for over twenty minutes. Something was wrong. Sam was searching the other part of town but there was still no sign of her. He wasn't completely worried. He knew she could take care of herself.

"Anything?" He asked Sam when he answered.

"Nothing." Sam replied. "But I'm sure she's all right."

"You saying that just made it worse. Something's wrong, Sammy." Dean replied.

"We'll find her." Sam said determinedly.

"This rain isn't helping." Dean replied.

"We'll find her." Sam repeated.

Dean hung up the phone and took a deep breath, running his fingers through his hair. He was walking down an alley when something caught his eye. He walked over to it, seeing Sam's video camera in the shadows. He frowned and picked it up. He tried turning it on but the battery was dead. He went back to the car and tried looking for batteries.

"Hey baby." He heard Evy's voice through the rain.

He pulled himself from inside the car. "Where the hell have you been?" He asked her.

"I'm sorry." She replied with a pouty face. "I was trying to do research and went to talk to a few people when I realized I forgot my phone." She said taking his head in her hands.

"I was worried." Dean told her.

"I'm sorry." She said again, kissing him.

"Are you okay?" He asked. "You don't seem like yourself."

"I'm fine." She smiled taking his hand. "Lets go get something to eat."

"Let's get out of this rain." He told her and pulled her across the road under an awning.

"Come on." She smiled and was about to pull him away.

"Hold on. I have to call Sam quick." He told her. He pulled out his phone and called his brother. Evy stood there but seemed a little nervous. "Hey. I've got her. She forgot her phone somewhere but she's all right."

"Good." Sam told him. "Meet you at the car?"

"Yeah, we're going to grab some food."

He hung up and turned to her. She smiled at him and he took her hand. They walked to a diner down the street and waited for Sam.

* * *

"_I'm all alone. There's no one here beside me. My troubles have all gone. There's no you deride me._" I sang and then hummed the rest since I didn't know the words.

I was bored out of my mind. The water was halfway up my calves now but I was still alone with no hope of freeing myself. The ropes were still secure and I was powerless. I had hoped that they would have been here by now but it had barely been an hour. Or so I thought. But an hour would feel like two. Two would feel like four. I was alone with only water to keep me company. Water that was coming in faster all the time. But more then the water and my boredom I was scared. Scared that I would have to return to the field, that Dean was going to get hurt and join me there. I didn't want anything to happen to him and the fact that I couldn't do anything about it was giving me the urge to cry. But that wouldn't do anything for him. I had to try and figure out a way to get to him.

I looked around the room and the only thing I noticed that would be even remotely helpful was a brick that had come loose in the wall. It was at my level and if the corner was sharp enough with a few hours of work I could be free. Either that or I would be drowned…again. As far as I could see it was my only option right now. The trickiest part of it was going to be getting over to it without tipping the chair. If that happened then I was in some serious shit. Not only because it was floating around me but I would drown faster with my face on the floor.

* * *

"Is she okay?" Sam asked his brother.

"I think so. She seems a little off but she sure looks like her." Dean replied.

"Hmph." Sam said frowning.

"What is it?" Dean asked.

"I think I'm going to go see what I can get off of my camera." Sam said and left the diner.

Dean watched him go. Something nagging at him but he couldn't place it. When Evy came back she slid into the booth next to him, kissing him gently.

"Are you sure you're okay?" He asked her.

"Better then okay." She smiled. "I'm with you." He smiled and kissed her. Pulling her against him.

Sam ran through the rain to the car, getting in quickly before he was drenched to badly. He took the video camera and quickly changed out the batteries. He rewound the tape and played it. There was a few things that were recorded that were a surprise to him, making him forward through it. Evy had obviously been playing with it and not telling him. He sighed and shook his head. He smiled though, she was something else. He forwarded it until something caught his eye. He rewound it and watched as it went from a smiling documentary from Evy to the back of Dean. She was coming up fast and then he whipped around. He was a shapeshifter. Sam quickly got out of the car and raced back to the diner. He was just about to reach for the handle when he was hit from behind. He quickly turned around and saw Dean standing in front of him. He got to his feet and punched the thing that looked like his brother. It hit him back, sending him to the ground again. He took him by the collar and drug him around the corner into an alley. Sam tried to fight him off but he fought just like his brother. Meaning he was going to have a hell of a time killing the bastard.

"We should probably get going?" Dean told Evy.

"No, let's stay here just a little bit longer. If Sam found anything on that camera then he would have come to get us." She replied.

"Yeah." He said running his fingers through her hair. He looked over his shoulder to see the car empty. The sun was nearly down and even through the rain he could tell that Sam wasn't in the car. "Come on." He said and got out of the booth.

He looked behind him as Evy followed him from the diner. He went to the car to see the camera and his brother gone. He turned and saw the alley around the corner. Something was always in the alley. He ran forward and when he entered the alley he was looking at himself about to do in his own brother. He pulled out his gun and shot him. Evy screamed 'no' from his side and he looked at her. She ran forward, past Sam, to the thing he had just wasted. He ran forward and helped Sam to his feet.

"I don't think that's Evy." Sam told him.

Dean looked at the woman bending over the dead shapeshifter. She was crying. He went up to her, grabbing her hair. It looked exactly like Evy. He couldn't hurt her, not even though he knew it wasn't his fiancé.

"Where is she?" He yelled.

"I'll never tell you." She replied. "You killed him. You killed him!" She yelled.

"That thing?" He said pointing at it. "You're just like it. I should just waste you right now." He told her fiercely.

"Then she'll die." The shifter said and laughed.

Dean punched her hard. She fell forward, laying on the pavement.

"Dean…" Sam said going to his brother.

Dean ran his fingers through his hair. "What are we going to do? I don't think she's going to tell us." The fake Evy started to laugh as she got to her feet. Dean grabbed her arm and forced her to face him. "Tell me where she is or I swear to God-"

"You'll do what?" She grinned. "Kill me? Go ahead. But like I said. I'm not going to tell you where she is."

"Then why should I let you live?" He asked.

"Because you can have me." She told him. "I'm just like her. I _am_ her. The other one will be dead soon. I can take her place."

"You sick son of a bitch." Dean said and backhanded her. "Tell me where she is!"

* * *

"Come on, come on, come _on._" I said as I tried to break free. The water was nearly to my shoulders. It was cold and I was shaking. "Come on, I can do this. Just a little bit more." I said as I felt a little give on the rope. I used all of my energy to try and free my _one_ arm but it was still tight. The brick was doing the job but I didn't have enough time to get it done. I moved faster but I couldn't seem to move fast enough. "I can do this. This is easy. I've done this before." I said trying to give myself confidence. "God, Dean, you better be okay. When I get out of here I'm going to ream you out for not being my knight in shinning armor." I said talking to myself. I was getting frustrated. The water was getting higher. I was starting to loose the rest of my energy when I felt a significant snap in the rope. I stopped and looked down. I took a deep breath and pulled as hard as I could. To my great relief, the rope snapped. "Oh thank you God. Thank you, thank you, thank you." I said and tore the rope off my other arm. Then came the legs. I took a deep breath and untied them. I stood up in the waist high water and looked around. I had to move fast. The tunnels were nearly underwater and I needed to get out of here. "Okay, bitch, here I come." I said and went toward the tunnel.

I dove under the water, swimming as fast as I could. I broke the surface and swam toward the nearest ladder. There were only a couple of turns before I found the manhole. I swam to it and pulled myself out of the water. I was afraid I wouldn't be able to push the cover off but it moved more easily then I had thought it would. I moved it enough to crawl out of before placing it back. I ran down several streets before the impala came into view. I couldn't see the brothers. I ran down the street looking in the alleys along the way. I stopped dead when I saw them in the alley. Dean had her by the throat. She obviously wasn't telling them where I was. I saw a body on the ground. One was dead. Sam was standing behind his brother. I took a deep breath, relieved to see them. I saw the gun in Sam's hand. I walked forward and quickly took the gun from his hand. Dean turned and let her go when he saw me. I shoved the shapeshifter to the ground before raising the gun and shot her in the center of her forehead. I was still shaky but I was in one piece. No bleeding this time. She was dead instantly and I turned to the brothers. Both were just looking at me.

"Hi, guys. Sorry I'm late." I smiled.

Dean put his hands through my hair, placing them on the sides of my head. I smiled, as he kissed me deeply. "I'm sorry." He told me sadly. "I'm sorry I couldn't find you."

"I got myself out." I said and shrugged it off. "They were going to kill you and Sam. I was more worried about you." I told him.

"I thought it was you. Sam figured it out first." Dean told me.

"Good boy." I said putting my hand on Sam's cheek. "I knew you were going to figure it out." Sam just smiled at me.

"She wasn't talking though. She said you were going to die." Dean said sadly. "Why do you smell like that?" He asked frowning.

"Because I was in the place they usually hide out." I told him. "The sewers."

"Oh." Dean said and gave me a smirk as he took a step away from me.

I laughed and put my arm across his shoulders. "Oh come on. Don't tell me you're turned off because I've been swimming in human waste." I grinned at him.

"You're not sitting in my car." He told me.

"Oh yes I am." I said and made a run for it.

He chased me to the car but I slipped inside of it. He followed and Sam just shook his head, driving us back to the hotel. A long hot shower was definitely needed.

"I feel so much better." I said when I came out of the bathroom. I was wearing a pair of sweats and one of Dean's worn out shirts. "No more smell, see?" I said crawling onto the bed next to him. I laid across him, resting my head on his chest.

He kissed my hair. "Yup, all gone." He said and ran his fingers through my hair. "How are you feeling?"

"I feel fine." I said looking at him. "Just another day on the job."

"Yeah?" He said and kissed me deeply.

"Yeah." I said and kissed him again.

We did a lot of relaxing, watching whatever caught our eye. By the next morning we were on the road again. We were on our way to the Roadhouse. It had been a while since we were there and I was actually missing Ellen. There were a few things I could use a maternal figure for. I was a little less enthused to see Jo, but I would deal. I would just show her my ring and grin, loving the expression of shock that would cross her face.


	14. Asking for Trouble

**Disclaimer: Nothing you recognize from the show is mine. Everything else is.**

**A/N: Here is the next chapter! I hope you enjoy it. =]**

* * *

_**Chapter Fourteen: Asking For Trouble**_

We were sitting in the car. There was commotion going on in the Roadhouse and we weren't going to get into the middle of it. That would just be asking for far more trouble than any of us were willing to get into. Not only were we at the Roadhouse at my request but we were hoping that Ash would have something on good old yellow-eyes. He hadn't shown himself since the club gig and I was grateful for that. His mind games were getting old. I was sick and tired of seeing him. The more I saw him the more I felt like we were getting closer. That he was becoming more of an alliance and I couldn't have that. We were supposed to kill him. That was the whole idea. There was nothing I could do right now. Seeing him was just seeing him. I couldn't hurt him and he was well aware of that. But it didn't change the fact that he was right. I might not be able to be the one to kill him. As often as I dealt with him some connection was being made and as much as it disgusted me I couldn't deny it. I would never tell Dean about it but Sam and I had had a conversation or two about it. He understood but still wasn't very happy with me. I couldn't blame him for that. Lately it was encompassing quite a bit of my thoughts.

"You okay?" Dean asked me.

"Huh?" I said looking at him. I had been deep in thought and it must have shown on my face. "Sorry." I smiled at him. "Just thinking."

"About what?" He asked, frowning.

"Nothing for you to worry about." I smiled leaning over and kissing him gently.

"Sounds like it got quiet in there." Sam pointed out.

"Do we dare go in?" I asked them.

"Might as well." Dean replied and got out of the car.

I followed and took his hand as we walked in. He held my left had and his finger traced the band on my finger. I looked at him and the expression on his face told me that he did it unconsciously. If it was on purpose he wasn't giving anything away. I just smiled at him. I opened the door and he grabbed it as I walked through.

"Evy!" Ellen said excitedly. "What brings you here?" She asked.

"Can't we visit friends?" I countered and hugged her.

"Hey boys!" Jo said coming from the back.

She deliberately ignored me, going to Dean first. I just rolled my eyes and smiled at Ellen. She grinned and opened her arm for me. I smiled wider and put my arm around her as she did the same. She led me to the bar and handed me a beer. I took the top off and took a long drink off of it. She just laughed at me.

"What?" I grinned at her.

"You two are just going to have to thrash it out." She grinned back.

"You want me to beat up your daughter?" I laughed.

"She can take care of herself." Ellen grinned back.

"Believe me, I'm sure I can handle myself a little bit better then she can." I told her with a smirk.

"You think so huh?" Ellen smiled.

"Ellen, have you seen your daughter?" I asked. "The pretty skinny blond. A string bean. No offence." I told her quickly. "But I've got more muscle then she does and I've been fighting a lot longer then she has." I added.

"Mm-hm." Ellen smiled.

I looked over my shoulder to see Jo looking awfully comfy with my men. I let out a heavy sigh and finished my beer. Ellen handed me another with a contemplative look on her face.

"So what really brings you here?" She asked.

"Not for the usual sort of thing. No hunting involved." I told her.

"All right, hit me with it." She told me.

I just grinned and rested my chin in the palm of my left hand. I smiled and she noticed the ring.

"Jesus…" She said taking my hand.

"Yeah." I said somewhat with an unhappy tone.

"He proposed?" Ellen said with a shocked look on her face.

"Don't look so surprised." I told her with a raised brow.

"I'm not surprised." She said as she continued to look at the ring.

"You're not?" I asked her.

"Of course not. The way he was while you were gone. I'm surprised he waited this long." She replied.

"How bad was he?" I asked her.

"You're asking now?" She countered.

"I wasn't ready to know." I told her. "I've wanted to know but I haven't had the guts to ask."

"He was in some pretty bad shape." Ellen told me. "Never seen a man that depressed in a long time." I nodded and looked at my hands. "He was quiet and angry. Tried to talk to him but he wasn't much for listening."

"You tried to tell him to move on?" I asked. She nodded. "I would have too if I were you. It's pointless to hold on to the ones who are gone. It doesn't do any good." I told her.

"I'm surprised to hear you say that." She told me.

"Yeah. But after you've died and been brought back like I have, the big picture is a little easier to see."

"And what is the big picture?" She asked.

"No matter how much you love someone. No matter how much it hurts." I said and looked over at Dean. "Some things are worth more. The lives we save." I said and looked back at her. "The people we help are more important. Sacrifice one for the many." I said and took a drink.

"You would sacrifice Dean to save someone?" She asked.

"Probably not." I said and smiled before it fell from my face. "I'd sacrifice myself. The only problem is that he would get in the way." I replied.

"Is that what you're worried about? Taking this big step and then losing him?" She asked. I nodded.

"Hey." Dean said appearing at my side.

"Hey." I smiled.

"We think we have a job. Ready?" He asked.

I looked at Ellen and she just smiled. "Does it need all three of us?" I asked him.

"What, you wanna stay here?" He asked with his brows raised.

"Yeah." I told him. "Is that okay?" I asked.

"Yeah, of course." He said but looked a little concerned.

"Listen…" I said and stood up. "I'm going to figure out a couple things here and you two go be heroes." I smiled and kissed him deeply.

"Everything okay?" He asked.

"Of course." I smiled and kissed him again. "I just need a little bit of girl time. I've spent too much time with the boys." I grinned.

"You love being with the boys." He grinned at me.

"I do." I said putting my arms around him. "I love my boys more then anything." I said and kissed him sweetly. "But that doesn't mean I don't need a little feminine company."

"Fine." He said smacking my ass as he went to the door.

"Not coming?" Sam frowned at me.

"I'll be safe here." I smiled at him.

"You sure?" He asked still frowning.

"Have I ever told you that you and your brother worry too much?" I smirked at him.

"Maybe once or twice." He said finally smiling.

"Just hurry back." I said and put my arms around his neck. I pulled away from him and put my hands on the sides of his head. "Be safe. Watch out for your brother." I said and kissed his cheek.

"Always." He said and went toward the door.

"I'm serious." I called after him. He just grinned at me over his shoulder. "Don't do anything stupid."

"Never, we leave that up to you." He called.

"Hey!" I yelled after him.

"What?" He said turning and walking backward. "You're the one who died and always gets captured."

"Yeah and I _always_ get myself out of it." I countered. "Dumb ass!"

"Love you too!" He called as he went out the door.

I scoffed and turned back to the beer, downing the rest of it. I was frowning now. I didn't like that attitude. It usually meant they were going to get into trouble.

"Maybe we shouldn't let you drink this early in the morning." Ellen frowned at me.

I glared at her and she handed me another. "Thank you."

"Well if it ain't our little daisy." Ash said coming from his back room.

"Hey mullet man." I smiled at him.

"Ash, we're in the middle of something here." Ellen told him.

"All right, all right. I can take a hint." He said and disappeared again.

I just smiled and looked at Ellen. "So where were we?" She asked.

"Me being terrified of losing Dean." I reminded her.

"That's right." She said and took a seat next to me. "I'm not very good at this part." She told me. "I was married to a hunter and I knew that. I loved him more then anything and then the job got him killed." She told me sadly.

"I'm sorry." I said sympathetically.

She nodded. "So, if I were going to tell you anything it would be this…" She said and faced me squarely. "Don't waste any time. Don't let the fear rule you when it comes to this. You need to be happy. You're both hunters, you can do the job, keep each other safe, and warm the bed at night. You can have it all. Just be careful and you'll both be fine. If I know anything about Dean then you are the first thing on his mind. Same goes for you." She told me. I nodded. "The smart thing to do is not get involved but you're way past the point of going back. Just go with it. Get married and live a happy life together fighting the forces of evil."

"You really think that's the best idea?" I asked.

"You're really torn about this aren't you?" She countered.

"You have no idea." I replied.

"What are you talking about?" Jo asked coming to the bar.

"I think we're running low on ice. Why don't you get some?" Ellen told her daughter.

"Are you serious?" Jo asked her mother. Ellen just looked at her. She put up her hands and walked away.

"She's jealous you know." Ellen smiled at me. I just looked at her. "She is. Dean is an attractive man in more then one way. You're lucky."

"I know. But when I first met him I would have thought you were crazy if you told me that." I smiled at her. "But now…I can't imagine my life without him."

"He feels the same way."

"I know." It was only confirmed when my phone vibrated. I looked at the text. It was from Dean. _Forgot to say 'I love you'. So, I love you._ "I know." I smiled and reread the words.

* * *

It was almost fun being left behind for a few days. I helped Ellen out at the Roadhouse and felt nearly normal. But there were hunters that came in and out. Some even knew who I was. It was interesting to have people know who you were and talked like you had dome something miraculous that had affected them in some way. One woman that came through told me that I had inspired her with my rising from the grave and such. I shrugged it all off and ended any conversation as quickly as it started. But I got to hone in my poker playing skills. Dean would be pleased with the pile I was starting to collect. Jo lingered around but we hadn't talked much since the boys had left. But she was always around, watching. I didn't like it but there was nothing I could do about it.

"Show me your hand, Ed." I told the hunter. He dropped it. "Two pair." I said looking at his cards. "Poor Ed, royal flush baby." I said and pulled the pot toward me. The three men I was playing with shook their heads and left me at the table. I just grinned and counted my money when Jo sat across from me. "Can I help you with something?" I asked her.

"Nice ring." She said and nodded toward my hand.

"Thanks." I said and continued counting.

"Do you honestly think you two can get married? You're hunters. Happy endings aren't part of the deal."

"What do you know of it?" I frowned at her. "Believe it or not, and despite the way you feel for him, Dean and I are happy. Being married wouldn't change anything. We're together twenty-four seven. Being married would just label us as a happy couple who would do anything for each other."

"So why bother?" She asked me.

"Because I want him like you can't even imagine. Getting married would tell the world he's mine and that I'm his. There is no one else for me. Dean's it. That's all that matters." I told her.

She just nodded and looked at me. "I still think it's wrong. Why expose yourself to such heartache?" She said and got up.

I just frowned as I watched her walk away. I sighed and put the money in my pocket. I was about to get up when Ash sat in front of me.

"Evy Connors." He smiled.

"Hey Ash. What can I do for you?" I smiled back at him.

"Can you tell me why your name rings such a big bell to me?" He asked.

"I'm with the Winchester boys. They're as well known as any hunter. That means me too." I told him.

"I mean before you were with the boys." He told me. "You were with John." He stated.

I frowned and looked at him. "What exactly are you asking me?" I asked, my friendliness gone.

"It's nothing." He said and got up.

"Ash…" I called but he kept going. "That wasn't weird or anything." I said quietly to myself.

"What was that about?" Ellen asked me.

"I have no idea." I told her.

I was confused by Ash and I was putting quite a bit of thought into it. I bused some tables and helped out behind the bar but wasn't quite as into it as I had been before. It didn't help that the next afternoon Ellen found a note from Jo telling her that she went to Vegas. Ellen and I looked into it and saw a credit card trail leading all the way to Las Vegas but it was never that simple. It was only then that Ellen told me that Dean and Sam had taken over a hunt that Jo had put together. I didn't really care where the case came from but now it was looking like something fishy was going on.

"Have you called Dean?" I asked Ellen.

"Yeah, but he says she's not there." She replied.

"Hmph." I said and pulled out my phone.

"What, you think he's lying to me?" Ellen asked.

"I don't know, but something doesn't feel right." I told her and dialed Dean's number. "Hey baby." I said when he answered.

"Don't ask me any questions right now. I don't want to lie to you." He told me quickly. "We're fine. Everyone is fine and it's going to stay that way until we get back. Just don't worry and don't tell Ellen anything. I'm sure she's there with you anyway. So just…don't ask me right now."

"Okay." I told him. "Be sure you call if she shows." I said knowing flat out that it was a lie.

"Thank you." He told me.

"I'll talk to you later." I told him sternly and hung up.

"Is he hiding anything?" Ellen asked.

"No, they're just busy on the job." I said and put my phone in my pocket. Jo was there. She was there and he was already freaking out about it. I wouldn't rip into him now but he wasn't getting away with it.

"She's just asking for trouble." Ellen said as she wiped down the counter for the fiftieth time. She'd been worried for a while.

"She's just trying to help. She wants to help and now she's just blowing off steam." I told her.

"Maybe." Ellen replied and leaned against the bar, frowning.

"She'll be fine. She can take care of herself." I told her as reassuringly as possible.

"Yeah." Ellen said. "She's just so eager to hunt. She doesn't realize the consequences. How much it hurts when something happens."

"I know." I replied. "She wasn't old enough to really understand when her dad died. Not like you."

She nodded. "But enough about that." She said and took out two beers. "The drinking starts early tonight."

* * *

It was a couple days later when Ellen came storming through the Roadhouse. She was on fire and I was almost afraid to ask her about it. But after a few days of spending so much time with her I would be able to handle her wrath.

"What is it?" I said getting to my feet.

"He lied to me!" She yelled. She was heading toward the phone but then stopped and whipped around. "Did you lie to me?" She shot at me.

"What?" I said confused. Then it occurred to me what she was talking about. "Oh, well. I didn't know anything exact. I made an assumption and I guess I was right."

"So you knew she was with them?" She yelled.

"I wasn't sure. I thought so but she's with Dean and Sam. You don't have to worry about her." I told her.

"That's not true!" She shot at me and went to the phone.

I listened as she yelled at him and then her look and tone changed and I knew that something had happened. I was just made a liar. Something had happened and Jo was in trouble. It wasn't the first time but this was more serious then what had happened before. I stood at the bar and listened. When she hung up she grabbed some cash and headed to the door.

"Ellen, wait." I said going after her.

"I'm flying to Philadelphia." She told me.

"I'm going with you." I said and followed her out.

She didn't argue as we got into her truck and drove to the airport. It was a very long flight. She didn't say a word but I didn't want her to go alone. My mind wasn't only concerned about Jo but if something went wrong then the boys were in trouble too. When we landed I practically ran from the plane and hailed us a cab at the entrance. Ellen stood brooding at my side. I called Dean and he told me where to find them. When we arrived Ellen was the one to beat me in. We went to the room and Ellen stood in front of it, her arms crossed. I sighed and knocked on the door. Dean opened it and Ellen just looked at them. I didn't say anything and soon they were filing out of the room. We all loaded into the impala and started the long drive back. One that was full of silence the entire way. It was awkward and I wanted to rip into them just as much as she did. But the silence was doing the trick. The nervous tension was building every minute of the way. When we got back the sun was up and we all went inside. The yelling started but Ellen wanted to talk to Jo alone. I led the boys out so I could get a little yelling of my own out.

"What were you thinking?" I asked Dean when we were outside. "Why didn't you send her scrawny little ass back here the moment she showed up?"

"She wanted to help. She was rather convincing." He told me.

"She played his girlfriend." Sam ratted.

"Dean." I frowned.

"It's not like anything happened."

"What did happen?" I asked with folded arms, my stance serious.

"She was caught. It was Holmes's ghost." He told me.

"The serial killer Holmes?" I asked. They nodded. "Wow." I said, shocked. "And I missed it." I stated. "Damn." I frowned.

"You didn't miss much." Sam grinned at me. I sighed and looked at them. "Ellen seemed really upset."

I looked at the Roadhouse and wondered what they could be talking about. I knew more then Ellen thought I did and this might be the moment to bring it up. "Stay here." I told them and walked back inside.

"Like father like son, that's what I'm talking about." Ellen told Jo, her voice breaking.

"There's something you're not telling me." Jo stated.

Ellen looked at her and nodded. Then she realized that I was there. "Evy, please."

"I know what happened. How John is connected to Bill." I told them.

"What?" Ellen said and Jo just looked confused.

"Tell her Ellen." I told her pleadingly. "Don't worry about me but she needs to know. I'll explain afterward."

I stood and listened as Ellen told Jo about her father's last hunt. How John had made a mistake and it caused the death of her father. It was horrible to hear it from Ellen's lips. I'd read it and talked to John about it. It had randomly come up but I knew John's point of view. I knew the guilt he felt. When Ellen was done Jo stood there unbelievingly.

"John screwed up. We all know that. But you have _no_ idea the guilt he felt. He was so sorry. He was so, so sorry. But he couldn't face you after that." I said and looked at Ellen. "It was an accident. That doesn't excuse it. It was a long time ago but both of them are gone now. No one is left to blame. John is dead and he was sorry till the end. About a lot of things. But Bill's death weighed on him. More then you know." I told them.

Ellen had tears in her eyes and Jo looked just as pissed as ever. She turned on me pretty quickly. "And you knew about this?" Jo asked me. I nodded. "And you're bringing this up now? And why should you get to know? You kept this from us."

"It didn't seem fair to bring up old demons. I wasn't hiding anything. I just didn't think you needed to know yet. But we're closer now. I'm not afraid to tell you anymore." I said looking at Ellen. She just gave me a small smile and nodded. "I'm sorry, Ellen…Jo." I said looking at her. "This whole thing sucks and I know that me and the boys look like we're on the wrong side of this but you know that we wouldn't let, or want, anything bad to happen to you."

"You kept this from us. You're no more a friend then he was." Jo shot at me.

"Jo, I'm just being honest. Which is more then I can say for you." I frowned at her.

For being small she was fast. She punched me across the jaw faster then I could react. I massaged it briefly before hitting her across the cheekbone. It was hard enough to send her to her knees. She came at me again but I blocked her. She kicked me in the side but I countered with a kick to her abdomen. Ellen was yelling but that wasn't going to stop us this time. She pulled a knife from her pants and lunged at me. The blade caught my elbow and I tumbled backward against some chairs. I pushed them off of me and lunged at her. My arm caught her waist and we both slammed to the ground. I had her pinned. I hit her several times before I pinned her wrists to the floor with my hands.

"That's enough!" I yelled at her. "You would just love to damage me over something that has nothing to do with me." I told her. "The only reason I said anything at all was because John isn't here to defend himself. He needs to be defended. If only you really knew. You sheltered little bitch." I said and hit her again. Only then my waist was grabbed and I was pulled off of her. I turned and looked at Dean. He was frowning at me. He took my chin in his hands and looked me over.

"What the hell is going on?" He asked releasing me.

"A misunderstanding." I told him as I went for the door.

"Evy." Ellen called after me. I stopped and turned to her. "I'm sorry about this. She shouldn't have done that. But don't touch her again."

"Not a problem, Ellen. I don't think I'll be seeing you again for a while." I said and went outside.

I stood by the car for several minutes before the boys finally came out. I was attempting to stop the bleeding on my elbow but it wasn't working. I got into the car and waited for them to do the same. They talked over the car momentarily before getting in. I just sighed and waited for one of them to say something.

"Why did you have to fight her?" Dean asked.

"Because she was asking for it." I replied coldly.


	15. L Is for the Way You Look at Me

**Disclaimer: Anything you recognize from Supernatural is not mine.**

**A/N: Here is the next chapter! I'm going to add as much as I can. Enjoy! Reviews are awesome and welcome!**

* * *

_**Chapter Fifteen: L Is For the Way You Look At Me**_

They were waiting for me in the waiting room. Jo had done some damage to my elbow and now I needed to take the time to get it repaired. In the end I had won. Just like I knew I would. Only I had to pay for it. They had only numbed the area in order to stitch it up. I was okay with that. Until it started to wear off. There was some minor pain but I didn't want to take the time for them to numb it again. I'd be all right.

"So, how did this happen again?" The doctor asked.

"I got in a fight and she had a weapon." I told him. "It's rather simple really. I don't know why I keep having to repeat myself."

"Sorry." He said and noticed the pain on my face when he put the needle through. "Sorry."

"Don't be sorry. Just be done." I told him.

"You seem like a very angry person." He stated.

"I'm not. Not really." I replied. "I just don't like hospitals."

"I'm not so bad am I?" He grinned.

In truth he wasn't. He was a young attractive doctor who was an intern. He had a buzz cut with brown eyes. Muscular too, I could see his muscles moving underneath his fancy dancy lab coat. Needing to focus on something other then the pain. His name was Dr. Xander Billings. Just got here. His internship hadn't been going quite as planned and now he was here sewing up some random girl.

"No. You're not so bad." I smiled at him.

"I guess this is the only thing I'm good at." He said sadly.

"Dude, you need more confidence. You're not going to get anywhere unless you stop this woe-is-me crap and just do it. Don't be overly pushy but get out there and show them what you can do. Like these stitches here…" I said pointing at my elbow. "These are some damn good quality stitches and I know stitches." I told him and smiled. He just grinned and shook his head. "Look, I'm just some stranger here but sometimes that makes it better. I know what it's like to not feel good enough. But you're good enough. All you have to do is believe it." I smiled.

His brows came together but he was still smiling at me. "Do you do this often?" He asked.

"Do what?" I frowned.

"Give motivational speeches to strangers." He told me.

I laughed and shook my head. "No. I'm not big on the speeches. Well, not with strangers anyway."

"Alright, there we are." He said and pushed his chair back. "All done."

"Really?" I said and looked at it. "Looks good. See, I told you so." I smiled at him.

"This doesn't prove anything." He grinned.

"So, I spose you're going to bandage it and tell me that for at least fourteen days keep it quiet and don't fully extend it until the stitches are out?" I said looking at him.

He nodded and laughed. "Yeah, that's pretty much it. If you fully extend it you may pop a couple of the stitches. So do you have a preference of color?" He asked going to the bandaging cabinet.

"Nah, I'm not too worried about the color. You pick it." I told him.

"All right." He said and came over with hot pink.

"Okay, I lied. If you even try to put that on me I'll punch you." I told him.

He laughed and put it away, bringing back a yellow one with green smileys on it. I frowned and raised my brow at him but he just chuckled and wrapped my arm.

"Do you deal with a lot of kids?" I asked him.

"Not especially." He smiled.

"So this is you being funny?" I asked him.

"I guess so." He grinned.

I didn't spend much more time with him. I was done and as soon as it was wrapped I went to find my fiancé and his brother. Fiancé…the word still sounded weird. Every once in a while I would repeat it over and over again just to get the sound of it in my head. When I found them Sam was watching the news while Dean paged through some swimsuit edition of sports illustrated. I just smiled and went to him. I ran my hand down the back of his head. He looked up at me and tossed the magazine aside. I smiled and bent down kissing him gently. He just smiled and stood, kissing my forehead before taking in my arm.

"That's uh, some nice bandages you got there." He frowned at it.

I laughed and nodded. "Yeah, I got the funny doctor."

He smiled and put his arm across my shoulders. "I guess this means no sex for a while huh?" He asked as we walked out. "Wouldn't want to break you."

"I guess not." I smiled at him.

"Hold on." He said and ran back into the weighting room. I furrowed my brows and looked at Sam. He just shrugged. I looked back at Dean and laughed as he came running back with the swimsuit magazine. I laughed at him, wrapping my good arm around him as we went through the door. He laughed too and tossed it when we got outside but it was a nice break in the seriousness that had been the past several hours.

"I love you." I told him and kissed him deeply as we walked to the car.

"I love you too." He said and kissed my hair.

"You too, Sammy." I said taking his hand.

"Love you too." He said kissing my hair on the other side. "Both of you." He said nudging his brother. Dean just smiled at him.

Our little family reunited, going once again to fight the good fight. I was tired after everything and as soon as we found a motel I was ready for bed. The pain pills just added to my drowsiness and I was asleep in a matter of minutes.

* * *

I woke up to a man screaming. I shot awake but Dean was sound asleep next to me and so was Sam. I listened but nothing seemed out of the ordinary. I laid back down and closed my eyes, trying to get back to sleep. I was just hearing things. But as soon as I started to drift off I could hear a male voice whispering. When I opened my eyes the voice stopped. I sat up and ran my fingers through my hair. I got out of bed and went to the window. I opened the blinds and nearly fell back when I saw a very creepy looking man walk past the window. I grabbed my gun from where my pants lay and went out of the room. I looked in the direction it was going but there was nothing there. I took a deep breath and lowered the weapon. I was about to go back inside when I saw it again. It was walking across the parking lot. I ran across the grass, through the patch of trees that stood in the middle of the motel lot. When I saw him again he was leaning against a tree. Just watching me. I got a good look at it this time. It was defiantly some kind of spirit. He was unlike any spirit I had ever seen. He was young and mostly intact. No chunks missing from his face or body parts missing. He had deep purple circles around his eyes and his neck had heavy bruised splotches all over it. His wrists were also purple. There was no way to know how damaged he was underneath his clothes. He flickered and I just frowned as he watched me. I heard a noise and when I looked back he was gone. I frowned and went to turn away but when I turned I was face to face with it.

"Hi." It whispered.

"Hi." I said not knowing how to react to a spirit saying 'hello' to me.

In the next minute he was gone. I stood there and waited but he didn't show himself again. I looked back to the room and I saw the light turn on and soon both of them came flying out of the room. I sighed and called out to them.

"What's going on?" Dean asked as he reached me.

"There's a spirit in town." I told him.

"What?" Sam said looking at me.

"I saw it pass the window. I followed it out and it was watching me. Just watching." I said and frowned. "Then it appeared in front of me and it said 'hi'." I told them.

"'Hi'?" Dean said looking at me.

"Yeah." I said looking at them.

"But it didn't try and hurt you?" Dean asked.

"No." I said shaking my head. "It watched me, said 'hi', and then left."

"Hmph." Sam said looking at me.

"It doesn't mean it's evil right?" I asked. "I mean, the asylum spirits weren't evil. They just wanted to be avenged." I reminded them.

"Maybe." Sam said and got a pensive look on his face.

"You know, let's talk about it in the morning." I told them.

"Come on." Dean said kissing my hair as he led me back to the room.

I was boggled by this newest spirit. Not all were evil but it was still odd enough for one to simply say 'hi' and disappear. I didn't like it. Didn't like it one bit. We hadn't gotten much sleep and now I sat awake researching with Sam while Dean slept. I glanced at him and smiled before looking back at the screen.

"Anything even popping up that looks remotely interesting?" I asked him as I rubbed my eyes. I was getting more tired by the moment.

"Nope." Sam replied.

I groaned in frustration and put my elbows on the table as I put my hands on my face. I folded my arms and looked at Sam. He was trying to rub the sleep from his face but he too looked like he was about ready to fall over.

"How are you doing, Sam?" I asked him.

He frowned at me. "I'm good." He told me.

"Are you really?" I replied.

"Really." He smiled leaning toward me.

"Okay." I smiled back. "Anything you want to talk about?" I asked.

"I don't think so." He replied. "What's with the twenty questions?" He frowned.

"We haven't had a heart to heart talk in a while. I feel like we haven't talked as much as we should. I feel like we're leaving you out and I don't like that." I told him.

"Hey…" He said taking my hand. "You have no idea how happy I am for you and Dean. I know what it feels like and I couldn't be happier that he has finally found someone." He said and kissed my palm.

"But what about you? How have you been with all of this?" I asked him. "I know you're happy for us but what about you?"

"Hey, when this is all over maybe I can go do the same thing." He smiled.

"I don't know about that." I smiled at him. "I don't think I'd be able to let you go."

"Yeah, I don't know if I'd be able to leave either." He smiled back.

I took his hands in mine. "Sam, you are a wonderful person and I will be more then happy to call you my brother."

"Likewise." He winked and leaned back. "Now, did you want to do anything more with this spirit tonight?" He asked.

"I don't think so." I frowned. "I can't think anymore. I'm too tired."

He smiled but then his jaw tightened as he looked behind me. I frowned. "Evy…"

I turned to see the spirit watching me through the window. I rushed to it closing the blinds. I looked at Sam and he quickly went to the door, throwing it open. He looked but came back in and shook his head. I sighed and crossed my arms.

"Awake now?" Sam asked.

"Yup." I told him.

"Wanna go for a walk?" He asked.

"I would love to." I smiled and quickly wrote Dean a note before following Sam out of the room.

I linked my arm with his and enjoyed the evening air. We were a few blocks from the hotel when a familiar figure appeared in front of us.

"Why, if it ain't my two favorite kids." Good old yellow-eyes grinned at us.

Sam tensed and we didn't have a weapon on us. "Stay calm." I told him.

"No, by all means, please attack me. It'll be fun." He said with a smirk.

"What do you want?" I asked him.

"Nothing." He said with a shrug.

"Then why are you here?" Sam shot at him.

"Why not?" He asked. "It's fun just to watch you all squirm." He said with a giddy smile.

I was about to retort in some way but Sam rushed him. I tried to stop him but it was no use. Sam had so much anger toward him and now he was right in front of him. Sam wanted his revenge and I wished more then anything to give that to him but this was going to end in disaster.

"Sam!" I yelled and ran after him.

Azazel was too quick and more skilled then Sam. Sam held his own momentarily but was soon struck down. I ran forward and kicked Azazel in the knee, hearing it snap. He turned and backhanded me. I slammed into a parked car. I hit my head, knocking me out. When I came to the street was quiet. I frowned and slowly opened my eyes. Sam was lying in the street. He wasn't moving.

"Sam?" I asked shakily.

"I didn't want to do it." The demon said as he kicked my abdomen. It sent me rolling and I quickly tried to get up. "He made me do it." He said and kicked me again.

"Stop it!" I yelled as I held tight to my stomach. "Sam!" I yelled. He still wasn't moving. "What did you do to him?" I asked as I got to my feet. He flicked his wrist and I was back on the ground. "Stop it." I told him as I tried getting to my feet. He just looked at me and it felt like I had been hit with a two-by-four, sending me rolling again. I got to my feet and looked at him. He came at me and I was so angry at him. "Stop it!" I told him and he flicked the air, sending pain through my shoulder. "Stop it!" I yelled as he did it again. "STOP IT!" I screamed and went to push his chest. When I made impact it sent him flying. I stood there momentarily before rushing toward Sam. "Sam!" I said skidding to my knees at his side. "Sammy?" I said as I rolled him onto his back. I couldn't see any blood but he wasn't moving. "Sam, open your eyes." I told him, taking his head in my hands.

"He's going to be all right." A male voice told me.

I looked up to see the spirit in front of me. "Get away!" I yelled and attempted to push him away.

"Calm down." He told me. "Just take a deep breath."

"What do you want?" I shot at him.

"I'm a doctor. Just listen to me." He replied.

I just looked at him and nodded, "Okay."

"Now, check his breathing." He told me.

I just looked at him but did as he wanted. "It's shallow." I told him. "But there is no blood."

"Check for any contusions." He told me.

I checked his body but there wasn't anything. "Why won't he wake up?" I asked the spirit as tears ran down my cheeks.

"Call an ambulance." He told me.

I pulled out my phone and dialed. My heart was racing when they showed up. The spirit was with me the entire time but it seemed like I was the only one who could see him. I rode to the hospital with Sam. He remained unconscious the entire time. None of the paramedics would say anything to me.

"He'll be okay." The spirit told me. I hadn't realized he was with me again.

I looked at him but didn't say anything. I didn't want to come off crazy as hell. I rushed out of the ambulance and followed the stretcher through the ER doors. I followed him for as far as I could before they told me I couldn't go any further. I listened and watched through the door window as they wheeled him away. When he was out of site I felt the tears welling and my throat was clenching.

"They'll take good care of him." The spirit said from my side.

I nodded and pulled out my phone, walking to the waiting room. I put it to my ear and waited for Dean to pick up. I filled him in on what I could before he hung up on me. I wasn't able to finish. Sam meant just as much to him as I did. I knew he was going to be panicked and seeing a spirit with me would not help.

"You should go." I told him.

"Sam will be okay." He told me.

"I'll figure this out later." I frowned and looked at my hands.

"You shouldn't be alone." He told me.

"I'll figure this out later." I said louder, looking at him before looking back at my hands.

When I looked up he was gone. A moment later Dean came running through the doors. I got to my feet and rushed to him. I threw my arms around his neck as he gripped me tightly. The tears started before I could say anything to him. I held tight to him until my breath started to steady and snot wasn't pouring out of my nose. I let him go and grabbed a Kleenex from a table. When my face was dry I looked at him. His face was pained. The tears started again and I just shook my head putting my hand to my forehead as I rocked back and forth.

"I'm sorry." I told him mournfully. "This is all my fault."

"No." He said rushing to me. He put his hands on my arms and forced me to look at him. "No. It's not your fault. It's dangerous. We all know that."

"But he wouldn't wake up." I told him as the sobbing started again. "Dean, this is my fault and there is nothing you can say that will make me feel better."

Just then a doctor came toward us. "Evy Connors?" He asked.

"Yes. Is he okay?" I asked him quickly. He sighed and my stomach dropped. "What is it?"

"He hasn't woken up yet. We're not sure exactly what happened. You don't remember anything new, do you?" He asked.

I shook my head. "No. I was unconscious for the fight. He was down before I woke up." I told him.

"Evy?" Dean said looking at me.

"Just tell us about Sam. Is he going to be all right?" I asked the doctor.

"We think so. He has a pretty serious concussion. He's still unconscious but we're not going to worry just yet. We're monitoring him but we'll know more when the rest of his tests come back." He told us.

I nodded and looked at Dean. His jaw was clenched and his hand slowly moved around my waist. He lowered his eyes and I looked back at the doctor. "Thank you. Can we see him?"

"Of course." He smiled and led us to his room.

Dean hung back in the doorway while I rushed to Sam's side. He looked peaceful but I wanted to know what was going on inside of his head. I pushed his hair back form his forehead, placing a gentle kiss onto it. I pulled a chair up and took his hand in mine. Kissing it, leaving it against my mouth. I sighed and closed my eyes trying not to cry. It wouldn't do any good. I placed his hand against my chest and looked at Dean. He'd made it to the end of the bed, staring at his brother. There was more I needed to tell him but I wasn't sure how or when to do it. I would just wait until it came up. Wait for him to show himself again. I laid Sam's hand down on the bed and stood, going to Dean.

"He's going to be okay." I told him. "He'll wake up and he'll be okay."

He nodded and looked at me, his brows furrowed. I kissed his temple before putting my arms around his neck. He wrapped his arms around me, burying his face in my neck. He was worried and I knew that but Sam would pull through. We always did. We even came back from the grave. I took my seat again at Sam's bedside and took his hand in mine. I looked at Sam and ran my fingers through his hair. I felt the tears start to well again but I pushed them aside.

"Tell me what happened." Dean said pulling a chair on the other side of the bed.

"We saw the spirit again. It gave us a little bit of an adrenaline rush so we went for a walk. Yellow-eyes showed up with his taunts. Sam was so angry. He has so much anger toward him." I told him holding tightly to Sam's arm. "He rushed him. But being a demon, he got the upper hand. I tried to help him but it was no use." I said closing my eyes as I shook my head, frowning. I opened my eyes and looked at him. "I wasn't strong enough. I couldn't stop him. Yellow-eyes, Azazel, threw me against a car. He knocked me out. When I came to Sam was on the ground. He wasn't moving. I tried to go to him but Azazel started to kick me. He forced me further and further away from Sam. I couldn't get to him." I said letting the tears fall. "I used whatever power I have against him. I forced him away from me. I went to Sam but he was already unconscious. I called the ambulance and after we got here I called you." I finished. Dean just looked at me and nodded. He rested his elbows on the bed and ran his hand down the length of his face. "There's more." I told him. Wanting to get it all out. He just looked at me. "The spirit was with me for a while. He tried to help me with Sam." I told him. He got a confused look on his face. "He was with me in the ambulance until you got here. He's not evil. I don't know what the deal is but he tried to help me. He tried to help Sam. In my book that gives him a world of credit."

"What do you know about him?" Dean asked.

I shook my head, "Nothing." I ran my fingers through my hair before looking back at Sam. "All I know is that he died by strangulation or hanging. I'd go for the strangling though. His wrists were also bruised. He may have been bound for whatever happened to him." I told him. "I don't want to make this any worse but it's something that we have to deal with. I have no idea who he is but he was trying to help me."

"We'll figure it out." He told me, putting his hand out to me. I took it and gave him the best smile I could.

"Evy?"

I turned toward the voice and saw Dr. Billings come into the room. "Xander, hi." I said standing up.

"Is everything okay?" He asked.

"Kind of an odd question don't you think?" I asked him, crossing my arms.

"Sorry." He said as his face flushed.

"I'll be fine." I told him. "What's up?" I asked.

"Just wanted to say 'hi' since I saw you." He told me.

I felt a shiver go down my spine and the spirit appeared at my side. "You son of a bitch." The demon shot at the doctor.

I looked at him and Dean was getting to his feet. Xander didn't seem to notice the spirit. "Oh God…" I whispered and looked back at Xander.

"I'll let you visit. I'll see you around." Xander told me. I nodded and he left with a small smile.

"He killed you didn't he?" I asked the spirit. He just looked at me. "Who are you?"

"Harrison Billings." He told me.

"He killed his own brother." I stated.

"He took my life. Both literally and metaphorically. I was a doctor. He didn't become one until after I was gone." Harrison told me.

"Why?" I asked him.

"I don't know. But I can't seem to leave him. Wherever he goes I go. It's not something I can control."

"Does he see you?" I asked him.

"Sometimes." He replied.

"Where are you buried?" Dean asked him.

"What? Why?" Harrison asked him.

"So you can move on." Dean told him.

"What?" He asked me.

"If we find your bones we can salt and burn them. By doing so you'll move on. Disappear from this world and move on to the next." I explained.

"In theory that would be a good idea. But I was cremated." He told us.

"What?" I frowned at him before looking at Dean.

"There has to be something of yours that's still around." Dean told him.

I thought a moment before my mind managed to catch up with itself. "You said wherever he goes you go?"

"Yeah?"

"Does he keep something of yours with him?" I asked.

He has a pocket watch that was mine. I had it on me the night I was killed.

"Bingo." Dean said and looked at me.

"I guess I've gotta go get Xander." I told them and turned to the door.

"I'll go." Dead told me. "Just hang back with Sam."

I nodded and smiled at him as he left the room. Sighing, I ran my fingers through my hair before sitting next to Sam again.

"Will it hurt?" Harrison asked me.

"Maybe for a moment." I told him.

"But I'll be okay? I'll move on to heaven?" He asked.

"I hope so." I said giving him a small smile. "I really do."

It seemed to take forever for Dean to return. Harrison say where Dean was as we watched over Sam. It was nearly an hour later when Dean came back. He leaned against the doorway, watching, before I noticed he was there.

"Find him?" I asked.

"He's in the basement. I thought you might want to take care of this one." He replied.

Standing, I followed him as he led me to the shower rooms downstairs. He was already done and out. He was just putting his things in his bag when I grabbed him, slamming him into the lockers.

"Where's the watch?" I demanded.

"What? What watch?" He asked, shocked.

"Don't play games with me." I told him. "Harrison's watch. Where is it?"

He simply glanced at his bag, a common tell. Dean grabbed the bag and started going through his things to find it.

"Why did you kill him?" I demanded.

"It was an accident." He told me. "How do you know?" He asked.

"Because his spirit has been with you since it happened. Didn't you ever notice strange things, voices in the night?" I asked. He didn't respond. "That was your brother who was haunting you because you _murdered_ him." I said and forced him to the ground.

"Evy, you have to believe me, it was an accident." He told me.

"How is strangling your brother an accident?" I asked him. "You wrapped your hands around his throat and chocked him to death. What were you trying to do?"

"I was drunk. We got into a fight. I didn't mean for it to go that far." He told me.

"Then it's time to make amends." I told him and Harrison appeared next to me.

"Harry…" Xander said looking at his brother. "Jesus…"

"Yeah, I look great don't I? I'm sure you're proud of what you've done since I've been gone. A doctor…really…" He said looking at his brother.

"I didn't mean for it to happen." Xander told his brother.

"You took my life!" Harrison yelled at him. "You took everything from me!"

"Harry, I'm sorry." Xander said as his voice cracked.

"I've been waiting for my chance. Waiting to get even. But it doesn't matter anymore." Harrison told him. "It doesn't matter. Which is such a bummer. I've been waiting years and now that I have my chance I don't even care anymore." He told his brother. "I've been watching you. I know you're sorry. I've been resentful and bitter. But you're my brother and I know that it was an accident. Maybe that's why I haven't moved on. I've still got to be the big brother. I've got to watch over you. No matter what happened." He said and stared at his brother.

I listened and watched as they had their reconciliation. It was the oddest thing I'd ever seen. The easiest spirit we've ever dealt with before. I smiled when they both smiled at each other and, shockingly, hugged. I couldn't help but frown at that. It was odd, too odd, for my taste. There was supposed to be violence and anger and instead I got a stupid family reunion. I needed the violence not the happiness. But it was good for them. When they moved apart Harrison disintegrated in the air as he crossed over. Dean was standing in front of a garbage can, flames flicking out of it. I smiled, knowing what it was like on the other side. Xander looked horrified and I went to him, putting my hand on his arm. I told him that it was okay and I walked him back upstairs before parting ways. Harrison leaving had put a smile on my face but as Sam's room came into view my smile disappeared and I felt the need to cry again. I took a deep breath and walked into the room. The tears started nearly instantaneously and I rushed to the bed. I threw my arms around Sam's neck. He had smiled at me but it quickly disappeared.

"Hey, hey, what is it?" He asked gently pulling me away from him.

I kissed his forehead and put my hands on his face. "I am so sorry, Sammy." I cried. "I am so, so sorry."

"What?" He said with a short laugh. "Why are you sorry?"

"Because it's all my fault." I told him, averting my eyes.

He lifted my chin with his finger and smiled at me. "You really have to lay off the self guilt thing you have going on. None of this was your fault. It was my fault. You told me not to but I did it anyway." He told me.

"Yeah, nice going there." Dean frowned at his brother. Sam shrugged at him.

I laughed and kissed his forehead again. "Are you okay?" I asked him.

"Yeah. Just gotta take it easy for a couple of days is all." He replied.

"As long as you're okay. We'll take it easy." I told him, kissing his hand as I held it in mine.

"Don't feel bad." He told me sternly.

"Okay." I told him.

"Evy, please. You have to stop putting all the blame on you. You don't have to. Dean and I can take some of the weight." He said sweetly.

"He's right." Dean said sitting next to me.

"I know you can, but it's just the way I am. I'm the last person I think of." I replied.

"I know." Sam said and smiled. "We'll work on that."

I grinned at him. Things had worked out for the best. Sam was awake and Harrison had moved on. It was simple and yet complicated all at the same time. We sat with Sam until dawn when we were finally able to take him home. He was wide awake but Dean and I were exhausted. It took all of five minutes to change and crawl onto the bed. I looked up at him and he caressed my face before kissing me gently. He didn't have to say anything. All of it was right there in his eyes. I smiled and laid my head on his chest. He held me, running his hand up and down my arm. The TV was on; Sam was flipping through the stations. Only a few minutes passed before Dean and I were asleep. I could only imagine how we looked. We were both a bit of a mess. The sun had barely been up and we were comfortable in bed. A joyous start to the day.


	16. O Is for the Only One I See

_**Chapter Sixteen: O Is For the Only One I See**_

I woke up before the boys. Over a week had passed and Sam was back to being Sam. Even though we still weren't a hundred percent sure what had happened. Azazel hadn't been seen since and we had just finished another vengeful spirit job. The most common and the easiest to get done but every one still put fear in me. There was always danger involved no matter how simple it seemed.

I was awake and in the need of a little movement. I put sweats and a tank top on before grabbing my ipod as I went out the door. The town was quiet and the country was mainly plains. North Dakota wasn't known for its trees. I walked from the motel lot before starting my jog. I frowned as songs I'd never heard before kept playing but I just sighed and kept going. It wasn't bad. It was Sam's way of putting in his two sense. According to him I had spent far too much time listening to Dean's music. Something he called "mullet rock". I liked it whether he liked it or not. But I would listen to it since, truth be told, I did like it. I jogged a few miles before slowing to a walk. I was out of town where the ranches were. I stopped and watched horses in a field. That was the way of the land. There were horses and cattle everywhere. I loved it. I went to the fence and a few of the horses came over, curious to see the new girl. I smiled and stroked their necks and foreheads. It gave me the sudden need to go horseback riding. I talked to them, staying much longer then I had intended. I smiled and kissed one of their noses before making my jog back to the room. It had made me happy. When I walked into the room the boys were packing.

"Are we moving on all ready?" I asked them.

"Why should we stay?" Dean asked.

"No reason." I said as he came up to me. He kissed me before furrowing his brows. "What?"

"What is that smell?" He asked.

"Is it my yummy body odor?" I grinned at me.

"No, you kinda smell like a horse." He replied.

"Oh, that. Yeah, you're right." I told him. "I ran past a ranch and stopped to see a few horses. We should go riding."

"What? Why?" He asked.

"Because I want to." I told him frowning.

"Horses and I don't mix." He told me.

"Sammy, would you go horseback riding with me?" I asked him.

"Of course." He said kissing my cheek as he walked past me.

"You're off the hook." I told Dean as I walked into the bathroom, packing up my things.

"I didn't say I wouldn't. I just didn't think you were serious." Dean said following me.

"Oh bull crap. You know I'm serious. You just don't want to and that's fine." I smiled and kissed him. "You don't have to do everything with me. I'd like it that way but I know it can't be. Don't worry about it."

"I'll go." He told me.

"Are you jealous of your brother because he said he'd go?" I grinned at him with narrowed eyes.

He scoffed at me, "No."

I laughed and put my hands on his chest. "Will you do something for me?" I asked him.

"Name it." He said as he pulled me against him.

"Let's stay one more day. I want to share one day that is completely about me and you. I want to worry about nothing more then having a fun day with you. No demons. No guns. Just me and you on horseback in the warmth of North Dakota." I told him.

He just looked at me, moving the hair from my face. He sighed and kissed my deeply. "Okay." He said and smiled.

"Really?" I smiled up at him.

"Really." He smiled and kissed me passionately, pushing me against the wall.

I laughed and wrapped my arms around him. My hands feeling his muscles move along his shoulder blades. I gripped him harder as his hand moved to my thigh. I lifted my leg resting it against his hip. He leaned against me as our mouths never ceased. It was really getting hot and heavy when Dean suddenly released me, jumping. I frowned as I watched him pull out his phone. He was frowning as well and he answered it. He said Bobby's name and I smiled at him before going out into the main room.

"Hey, stop packing." I told Sam.

"What, why?" He asked.

"We're staying one more day." I replied.

"What for?" He asked.

"Because I am going to force my _fiancé _to take a day out of our busy schedule to spend a day with his betrothed." I told him. "We haven't had a normal day together for a while and I am going to get him on a horse."

Sam just smiled at me. "Good for you."

"Thank you." I said and hugged him. "And you can do whatever it is that you do." I smiled at him.

"Yeah." He replied.

"Are you okay?" I asked him.

"Of course." He said and sat on the bed. I sat next to him and raised my brow. "Okay, so I might be a little lonely."

"You'll find someone new. I know you will." I said taking his hand. "And all you have to do is say that we're bothering you and we'll tone it down. We spend far too much time together to not be happy together. You're not the third wheel and I don't want you to feel like you are." He just laughed at me. "What?" I frowned.

"Evy, you are a wonderful person but I am the third wheel whether you like it or not." He smiled.

"Well, it's not from a lack of trying." I told him sadly.

"You try too hard." He told me.

"Yeah, well, part of me still feels bad about what happened at Katy's. I shouldn't bring it up but it's kind of stayed with me." I confided.

"Don't worry about it." Sam said putting his arm across my shoulders.

"You sure. Because I do." I said looking at him.

"I know you do. You worry about everything. I bet even in heaven you worried just as much as you do now, if not more." He smiled kissing my forehead. "You don't need to worry about me. I'm really okay and that's the way it is. Remember, I am very happy for you and my brother. Go have your day and I'll be just fine right here."

"I love you." I smiled at him.

"Love you too."

I smiled at him before turning to Dean who was walking toward us. He stepped in front of us. He was looking at the phone that was still in his hands. I sighed and stood up.

"No extra day?" I asked him.

"Yeah, we can stay." He told me. But his tone told me something different.

"What is it?" Sam asked him.

"Well, it turns out that there may be a demon near here." He told me.

"Seriously?" I asked him.

"Yeah, it's in a town about fifty miles from here. We'll still be in the state but we should head out." He told us.

"Okay." I smiled at him and turned to my things.

"Sorry." Dean said coming to my side.

"It's fine." I said turning to him. I happened to be folding one of his shirts.

"I can do that you know." He smirked at me.

I grinned and kissed him, leaning into him. "I love you."

"Love you too." He smiled before turning to his things. "See, this is why I love you. You understand that the job needs to come first. Before anything personal like an outing." He said smiling at me. I just shook my head and smiled at him. He was off the hook for now.

* * *

I looked out the window as we drove. I understood all right, but that wasn't the point. I wanted to be able to spend a bit of quality time with my fiancé. We were anything but a normal couple but every once in a while I would like to be able to spend a little "normal" time with him. I didn't think it was too much to ask. I was quiet but the boys weren't saying a lot either. When we finally got to town I stayed in the car while they talked to the townsfolk. I took a deep breath and rested my head in my hand. I looked out the window and my jaw practically dropped. I got out and watched as a large black horse walked through the street. I smiled and walked after it. It went down an alley. I followed it but its hoof beats soon faded and I lost sight and sound of it.

"Hmph." I frowned and listened. "That was weird."

I turned and went back to the car. Dean and Sam were leaning against the car. I walked up to them and smiled. They just looked at me.

"Boy, we're all happy as clams aren't we?" I told them with a rather fake smile. I sighed and crossed my arms. "What is it?" I frowned. "What did I do now? Why are the two of you looking at me like that? I just want to be happy but the more time goes on the more we get pulled into this life from hell and we can't get out of it. Just tell me what I did."

"You didn't do anything." Dean stated.

"Then what the hell is it?" I asked him.

"There was another death." Sam told me.

"Another death? Don't you mean murder?" I asked.

"They can't call it that." Dean stated. "There is no proof of murder but all three of them died the same way."

"And how is that?" I asked him frowning.

"Trampled, by a horse." Sam told me. "That's what they think anyway."

"Hmph." I said frowned and turned back to the alley. "No witnesses?"

"None." Dean told me.

"But that's not it." Sam told me. "There have also been people who have said that a horse told them their future."

"What?" I frowned at him. "Yay."

"Uh-huh." Dean said and put out his hand to me.

I took it and he pulled me against him. "Now do you want to explain all that stuff you just said?"

I felt my face flush. "No."

"Do it anyway." He told me.

"Walk with me?" I asked him.

He nodded and took my hand as we walked away from Sam. We walked a good block before I said anything. "I'm just nervous is all. Ever since you proposed I've been terrified of losing you. Of the job getting the better of us. Being pulled in any direction then the one I want to be going. And I feel that if it does fall apart that it's going to be my fault. That I'll be the one to make it break. Make you not want me anymore." He stopped and frowned at me. I averted my eyes. "Yes, I understand that I am being completely ridiculous. I'm just very insecure right now." I finished and attempted to keep walking.

Dean stopped me and put his hand on my cheek. I looked up at him. He buried his fingers in my hair and took a step toward me. I leaned against him, my hands on his chest. He put his face down to mine. I waited for him to kiss me but he didn't. I could feel his breath on my face, his alluring cologne filling my nostrils. My breath caught as my eyes locked onto his. He spoke then. Only he spoke softly and in a way he had never spoke to me before. It made my knees go weak.

"There is not a moment that goes by where I don't want you. You are all I think about. Even when you're driving me crazy. I may not say it enough but you are my life now. I am going to spend the rest of my life with you. A long life of me and you. I love you. You have me body and soul. Nothing will ever be able to change that. You've got me for life, even longer if possible." He said and his lips gently graced mine before he pulled me into a fierce kiss that lasted the longest it ever had before. It was the perfect moment.

"Wow…" I said airily when he finally pulled away from me.

He just laughed. "I guess that says something if I can still 'wow' you." He smiled.

"You wow me every day." I smiled at him, wrapping my arms around his neck.

"You wow me every day too." He said sweetly and kissed me again.

"Really?" I grinned at him. He nodded. "I have to say that I'm surprised to hear you say all this." I told him.

"Why?" He frowned.

"Because you're not the sentimental type. You can be, you just showed me that, but usually you're not that sentimental." I replied.

"Yeah, well, every once in a while I figure you want to hear those sorts of things." He told me.

"I do. It was very refreshing." I smiled.

"I love you and I don't tell you that enough." He told me.

"It's not just the words I need to hear." I told him. "You show it to me every day. In all sorts of ways. That counts just as much as hearing you say it." I said and kissed him passionately. "I love you too." I told him and kissed him again.

We didn't stop until we heard something odd. We looked at each other before the same black horse I had seen walked from one alley, moving right past us, disappearing down the next.

"That was weird right?" I asked him.

"Uh-huh." He frowned and looked at me.

"Wanna go follow it?" I smirked at him.

He just smiled before we ran down the alley. The horse was already at the end of it. We followed it for several blocks before finally losing it. It was fun all the same but we went back to Sam who was sleeping in the impala. I slid into the back while Dean took shotgun. We explained what we saw to Sam on the way to the hotel. We brainstormed but came up pretty much empty handed. It wasn't until we were in the room with our take out that I remembered something.

"Hand me Dad's journal." I told Dean.

Dean reached for it before both of them stopped and looked at me. I had never called John Dad before. It was weird. I had never thought of him as my father. There was more to our relationship then just a father-daughter thing. It was more complicated then that. Or…it was more complicated. I frowned and thought a moment. It was a sort of revelation. He had turned into my father rather then my companion and friend. He was now more then all that. I was engaged to his son so it was natural but for the word to come out of my mouth was something.

"Huh…Dad…" I said and ran my fingers through my hair. "Anyway, Dean, the journal." I said holding my hand out to him. He nodded and handed it to me. "I remember reading something in here. Something that's in the back of my mind. I remember it because it mentioned a horse."

"What is it with you and horses all of a sudden?" Dean asked.

"It's not all of a sudden. I've liked horses forever. I just don't have a lot of experience with them and because of what we do it's kind of out of the picture right now." I told him as I flipped through the pages. "Ah, here it is." I said and smiled at them. "Puca: May appear as a variety of animals, always dark in color. Most often a horse who will give un-expecting humans a wild ride. Can speak and if it takes a liking to a person, it will give him advice – especially on November 1st. Crops left in the field after this date are considered to belong to it, as it is always hungry. If not fed, its temperament can turn more dangerous." I finished and looked at them. "I think this is what we're dealing with." I told them.

"So it's kind of like a God?" Dean asked.

"It doesn't really say." I told him. "It could be. But how do we get rid of it. The horse appears to have trampled a few people but we're not even sure about that. But if it can talk maybe we can learn something from it."

"You want to learn from a demon horse?" He told me with raised brows.

I frowned at him and cocked my head. "I'm curious. Aren't you?" I asked him.

"Not enough to want to have a chat with it." He told me. I sighed and got off of the bed as I rolled my eyes at him. "Where do you think you're going?" He asked.

"I'm going to go see if it'll come to me." I told him. "I'm curious and if this is the closest I'm going to get to a horse for a while I'm going to make the most of it."

"And what if it takes you for a "wild ride" instead?" He asked standing.

"I think I can take care of myself." I smiled at him.

"That's not the point." Dean told me.

"You and your "points" never make any sense." I smiled at him.

"You're being difficult." He said walking over to me.

I sighed and put my hands on his chest as I leaned into him. "Baby, I'm not one to sit around. I like to get the job done and if it takes talking to a horse or going for a ride I'll do it." I told him softly. My mind went back to what I remembered was carved into my headstone. "But you know that." I told him. He just looked at me and nodded.

"You're not going alone." He told me.

"Yes, I am. You two do a little internet search to see if it all checks out and I'm going to make a friend. I'll pick up a few apples and some sugar cubes and see if I happen to find it. Or if it finds me. What can it hurt?" I asked, only that was the wrong question.

"It can hurt you. We don't know what it's capable of. We don't know if the "wild ride" is one that leads to your death. I'm not going to let that happen." He said grabbing my arms.

"Dean, I'm not going to let that happen either." I said putting my hands on his forearms. "I love you." I told him softly. "I _love _you. I would never put you through the pain I did before or any at all. But a job is a job. We both know this. Danger lies with each and every one of them. But I'm not going to let anyone else get hurt. Not if I can do something about it." He nodded and looked at his feet, letting me go. "Hey…" I said put my hand on his face, making him look at me. "I'm going to be fine." I smiled. "I'm just a phone call away. I'll be here in an instant. But it's okay. You can trust me." I told him. He nodded again. "I love you." I smiled and kissed him deeply.

"Be careful." He told me.

"I will." I said and walked toward the door.

"Hey…" He said gently. I stopped and looked at him. "Love you too." He said and smiled.

I smiled and winked at him before going out the door.

* * *

I tossed the apple into the air, whistling as I walked through the outskirts of town. It had been nearly an hour but I had yet to see any sign of a black horse. The streets were quiet and the trees to the left were as well. I was just pulling out my phone to call Dean when a voice caught my ear.

"Is that for me?" A male voice asked.

I froze before turning my gaze to the woods. A smile crossed my face and I turned toward the black horse that was standing just inside the wood. I walked over to it, tossing the apple.

"I don't know. Do you want it?" I asked it.

"The question is…what do you want?" He countered.

"If I give you the apple will you give me advice?" I asked him.

"Perhaps." He said eyeing me.

I heard the voice and watched his mouth but it appeared that his mouth didn't move while he spoke. It struck my curiosity. I eyed him back before holding the apple out to him. He smelled it before taking a nibble. I smiled and broke it in half before feeding him the pieces. I took another from my bag and held it out to him. His teeth were just about to grab it when I pulled it away.

"So, how many apples does it take to get advice from you?" I smiled at him.

A chuckle came from his throat and he put his nose down and nudged me hard. "Maybe a few." He replied. I handed him two more before eyeing him. "I smell sugar." He told me.

I smiled and gave him a few cubes of sugar before asking, "So…?"

"Do you want to go for a ride?" He asked.

"Is this one of those _wild rides_ that ends with me dead?" I asked him.

"No." The horse stated and turned to the side.

"Then how can I refuse?" I replied with a smile on my face.

I ran to it, jumping onto his back. I held tight with my knees and a moment later he turned and started to move through the trees. He moved into a steady trot before a full out canter. It was a 'wild ride' but a good one. It had been so long since I'd been on a horse. It was exhilarating and filled a craving I had had for a long time now. After a short while he slowed to a walk and I listened to the night sounds.

"What sort of advice are you looking for?" The horse finally asked.

"Relationship advice." I stated.

"There's a ring on your finger. Did you want advice on flowers?" The horse asked sarcastically.

"You know, I was thinking that you'd be all mystic and straightforward. Turns out that you're just like everyone else, sarcastic and confusing."

"Does that bother you?" He asked.

"No." I replied. "And I'm a hunter."

He jerked to a stop. "I'm sorry?"

"I'm not going to hurt you." I told him. He didn't move. "If I give you some more sugar will that make it better?" I asked him.

"And an apple."

I smiled and slid from his back. I handed him the food and stroked his neck. "I'm sorry if I upset you." I told him. "But that's part of my dilemma. I'm engaged to a hunter. I am a hunter. I am terrified of losing him. I want a life with him but it's hard to do when you do what we do. I want to know if this is the right thing to do. I want to call him my husband but I don't want to be widowed at thirty." I blurted out.

"Do you love him?" He asked.

"Of course I do."

"Do you _truly_ love him? Would you die for him?" He asked.

"Yes." I said without hesitation.

"Do you know how rare that is?" He asked. "Do you know how many people dream of a love that strong?" I just looked at him. "Marry him, have a happy life. No matter how long or short it turns out to be."

"That's what I thought." I smiled and pushed a few sugar cubes around in my hand.

"Anything else?" He asked.

"What do you know about visions and telekinesis?" I asked him.

He looked thoughtful, as thoughtful as a horse can look, before looking at me. It looked like he was just about to respond when I heard rustling. I turned toward the sound and a second later Dean came running from the trees and threw himself up onto the horses back.

"No!" I yelled as the horse neighed angrily. He reared before taking off through the woods. "Dean!" I yelled taking off after him.

My breathing was labored as I continued to try and follow them as closely as possible. When my vision started to go black I stopped to catch my breath. I fell to my knees, my legs shaking. They were out of site. Standing, I pushed off against the tree and started out after them again. I pulled my phone out and dialed Sam.

"Where are you?" I asked his voicemail. "Don't do anything stupid. The horse isn't evil and your stupid brother is on top of it." I told him before hanging up.

Running was becoming difficult and I was just about to stop when I heard the horse's heavy breathing. I rushed forward to see Dean fighting with it as he tried to buck him off. Then I noticed Sam a few yards away, a shotgun pointed at the horse. I moved faster. Out of the corner of my eye I saw a lake come into view. Water was a source of panic for me and Dean was struggling with a big horse at the top of an embankment leading down to it.

"Are you stupid?" I yelled at I moved faster. "Sam! Don't! He'll roll!"

I was just about to them when the gun shot rang. Just like I had thought he would, the horse fell to the side, rolling down into the water taking Dean with him. I didn't hesitate as I ran to the embankment and slid down it into the water. The horse was struggling but sinking quickly. I couldn't see Dean. Panic started to seep into me, but as the horse went under I saw Dean's hand touching the surface. I swam the few feet grabbing him quickly. When I rolled him into my arms he was unconscious. I put my arm around him and brought him back to shore. There was a shallow area by a small sandy space just a yard or so further. It would take too long to get him up the embankment. I pulled him up onto the sand laying him onto his back.

"Dean?" I asked before placing my ear next to his mouth. I tilted his head back, pinching his nose before breathing into him. I quickly gave him several breaths before he started to cough up water. "Thank God." I said as I turned him to let the water pour from his mouth. "Are you okay?" I asked him as I rolled him back. He furrowed his brows before opening his eyes. "Are you?"

He nodded, "Yeah."

"Okay." I said as I lifted his torso and slid behind him. I leaned him back against me, running my fingers through his hair with one hand, holding him against me with my other arm across his chest. "You can't do that." I told him, my voice cracking. "You can't do that." I repeated in a whisper.

"I'm okay." Dean replied, his voice slightly scratchy.

It was surprising as to how fast the tears came. I buried my face in his neck and cried. His hand moved to the back of my head. He turned his head and kissed my hair, telling me that it was okay. It just seemed worse somehow. We were used to the danger. Used to something happening, but ever since coming back every time something happened sent me into a panic. I didn't want to live if he wasn't with me. I didn't want to live if Sam wasn't here. I didn't want to leave them again. I was becoming too paranoid but this was closer then most. For more then a moment he wasn't breathing. That led to leaving me. After my continued confusion over our relationship this was not what I needed. A moment later Sam came splashing over to us. I raised my head and looked at him. He saw my crying and for a moment I could see the panic in his face. I wiped the tears away as Sam knelt in front of his brother.

"I'm okay." Dean said but stayed against me.

"He wasn't breathing." I chocked out.

Sam looked at me sadly before putting his arm out to his brother. "Come on."

Dean nodded and grabbed his brother's hand. Sam hoisted him to his feet and brushed off his back. I still was kneeling on the ground. Sam put his hand out to me but I put my hand up. "Just…give me a minute."

Dean looked at Sam who nodded and walked away. He knelt in front of me, taking my hands in his. "It's okay." He said kissing my forehead.

I shook my head as a few stray tears fell. "I don't want to be afraid like that. I don't want to lose you, Dean." I said looking at him. "I want to marry you. More then anything I want to be your wife. You asked me and I said yes. But I don't want to be a widow. I can't stand the thought of losing you especially if we get married and start a life. What if I get pregnant and then you die? I am so scared. So scared…" I said and lowered my eyes.

"You want me to be a dad?" He asked with raised brows.

I looked at him and laughed. "I'm serious." I said hitting his chest lightly.

"You don't have to worry." He said and kissed me gently. "I don't ever plan on leaving you if I can help it."

"What about what just happened?" I asked.

"I will admit that that may have been a stupid move."

"You think?" I frowned at him.

"I have you to take care of me. I'm not too worried just yet." He smiled and kissed me again.

"What if I'm not there? What if you go off and do something stupid without me and something like this happens and I'm not there to help you?" I asked him.

"You're stuck with me, baby. I'm not going anywhere without you." He said softly.

"Well that's true." I smiled. "As long as you're not stupid."

He smiled and put his hand on my cheek, pulling my face to his. He kissed me passionately, pulling me against him.

"You want some sex on the beach?" He grinned.

I laughed and wrapped my arms around his neck. "Tell me you love me." I whispered to him.

"I…_love_…you." He said and kissed me deeply. "I love you, Evy Connors. I love you more then you'll ever know."

"Is that so?" I smiled. "Because I could say the same to you."

"But I know how much you love me." He told me.

"And how is that?" I asked.

"You died for me once." He said softly.

"And I'd do it again." I whispered to him.

"It's my turn." He whispered and kissed me repeatedly.

It felt good to get a few of my concerns off of my chest knowing that he wasn't being careless. Everyone makes mistakes and even though he seemed to make more then anyone, I loved him and part of me was calmed by his words. I was thinking too much about the future. I had to live in the now. I had to take each day and just live. I had my man. I had my Sammy. We had the job. Together we can do anything. Panic gone. Happiness here.


	17. V Is Very, Very Extra Ordinary

_**Chapter Seventeen: V Is Very, Very Extra Ordinary**_

The hunting had been long and hard these days. Hunt after hunt after hunt. They seemed to be more frequent. We finally got a break and the first thing we did was find the nearest bar and drink until we couldn't anymore. It would make everything rainbows and butterflies, if only for a little while.

"Here…" Dean said handing me another beer.

"Thank you baby." I grinned looking up at him.

He kissed me deeply before sitting back down. Sam just shook his head at us. I frowned and shoved him. We were happy. All three of us were safe and happy. No near drowning experiences or blood loss of any kind. What would need more celebration then that? I clapped as the latest karaoke singer left the stage.

"You go up there." Dean told me.

I laughed until I realized he was serious. "I don't think so." I said shaking my head.

"Come on baby, do it for me." Dean goaded.

"I'll do just about anything for you but I'm not singing karaoke." I grinned at him.

He leaned over and put his lips against my ear. "You know you want too." He breathed. "Do it for me." He said and gently bit my earlobe.

My body shuttered and I sighed, looking at him. He had a triumphant grin on his face. "I will if you will." I told him.

"Fine." He grinned at me.

"I'll be right back." I said and went to the bathroom.

I stood and thought of a song. He didn't think I was really going to do it. He wouldn't sing karaoke. I would have to pick a song and then we'd see who the triumphant one was. When I went back out I looked at their classic rock music. I knew Dean liked it and if I picked the right one then I'd make him happy and be able to laugh when he got up onto the stage. I grinned when my eyes saw the right one. A favorite of mine and a crowd pleaser. The only thing that remained was hoping everyone was drunk enough not to care what it sounded like. I walked onto the stage after giving the guy who was running it the song. My heart was racing. This was something I didn't do. Never been big on the public humility. But none the less, I would humor my fiancé for the time being. I took several deep breaths as I built myself up. The music started and I got into the beat the best I could. I looked at Dean and he had a big grin on his face. I smiled and started to sing Free's _All Right Now_. I moved to the beat, using the mic stand when appropriate. I made a fool of myself during the break but thought I ended it on a high note. I bowed when most of the room clapped for me and I practically ran from the stage, taking my seat next to Dean.

"That was fantastic." He grinned and kissed me.

"Thank you." I grinned back kissing him again. "Now it's your turn." I told him.

He finished his beer and stood up going straight to the DJ, telling him his song. I frowned and watched as he went to the mic. As soon as the music started I laughed and clapped as I watched him. He raised a brow at me before he started to sing. He belted out _Bad to the Bone_ by George Thorogood and the Destroyers. I yelled out to him as he sang. He had a decent voice and it drew me to him even more. I couldn't help but stare at him. When he was done I gave him a standing ovation, overpowering the crowd that was also clapping for him. He came off of the stage and walked up to me. He put his hands on the back of the chair and leaned over me. I smiled and put my hands on the sides of his head. He lowered his head and kissed me deeply.

"How was that for you?" He asked.

"I loved it. You should do it again." I told him.

"We should do a duet." He grinned.

"As soon as we're both completely trashed, I'd love to." I grinned back.

We did just that. We were there all night. Drink after drink. We were completely wasted. Well, Sam remained mostly sober. He would need the alcohol after Dean and I were done with the karaoke machine. We ended up singing _Endless Love _by Lionel Richi & Diana Ross. It took all the convincing I had in me to get Dean to do it, but I won the battle with the pouty face he couldn't resist. It was entertaining in the fact that the words were slightly slurred and both of our singing only got worse the more we drank. But that wasn't the point. We were having fun and that was the point. When we finally got back to the room I was so trashed I was passed out before my head hit the pillow. When I woke up my head was pounding but when I couldn't remember everything that happened I figured it was expected. I rolled over to see Dean still asleep next to me. He was on his stomach. I rolled onto my side and started to run my fingers up and down his back. I leaned over and kissed his forehead. He was still out cold. I smiled and kissed his lips gently before rolling out of bed. I went into the bathroom and looked at myself. I was still in the clothes from last night and I totally looked like hell. I jumped into the shower, hoping that it would wash away all the alcohol that was still in my body. The steam helped my head as well as the mass amount of pain killers I took. The next step would be coffee. My prayers were answered when I came out just as Sam walked in with the nice warm drinks.

"Thank God." I told him as I rushed to get my cup. "You are my favorite right now."

"Headache?" He smiled. I just groaned. "That's what happens when you drink too much."

"But it was fun." I smiled and sat in a chair. I rested my head against the wall and looked at Dean. "I think he drank more then me."

"Which means he'll be asleep most of the day." Sam stated.

"Yup." I said and took another sip.

It didn't take long to drain the cup. Afterward I was tired again and was more then happy to crawl back into bed with Dean. I laid next to him, putting my arm over him. I rested my head next to his and watched him, gently running my fingers through his hair, before falling back asleep.

* * *

There was a pounding in my ears. I thought it was just my head but when I opened my eyes Sam was going toward the door. Dean lifted his head and looked at me before turning his attention toward the door. I sat up as Dean did the same. He pulled on a shirt as Sam opened the door. A girl stood there looking frantic. She was covered with dirt and blood. Sam didn't get a chance to say anything before she fell into his arms unconscious. I looked at Dean before going to the other bed as Sam laid her on top of it. He turned and quickly closed the door.

"What the hell?" Dean said stepping next to me.

"Baby, go get a rag and water." I told him.

"We should call an ambulance." He replied.

"No." I told him. "She came to us for a reason. She could have gone to the hospital herself. Let's just wait until she wakes up."

"What if she doesn't?" He asked running his fingers through his hair. "We can't have a body in our room."

"Dean, please, let's not do anything right away. If she doesn't wake up by tomorrow we'll take her to the hospital. But it's not to farfetched to think that she came to us for a reason. People know who we are. They know what we do." I told him.

"Fine." He told me and went in to the bathroom, slamming the door.

"What do you think that's about?" Sam asked me.

"I'm not sure." I said staring at the bathroom door.

I looked at Sam before going to the door. I checked the door before slipping inside. Dean was sitting on the edge of the tub. I sighed and sat next to him. Taking his hand in mine, I traced the lines on his palm. He just watched me. I looked up at him and smiled. He just looked away from me.

"What's going on?" I finally asked him. "Why are you against this?"

"It just seems like a bad idea to me." He replied running his hand through his hair.

I kissed his temple and gently massaged his neck at the base of his skull. "Headache?" He nodded with a sigh. I massaged his neck before slipping behind him, moving my fingers to his temples. I kissed the top of his head. He leaned back against me. Smiling, I kept massaging, for a moment forgetting the predicament we had going on in the other room. We were forced to remember when Sam knocked on the door.

"Everything all right?" He asked.

"Yeah." I replied. "Be right out."

Dean sighed and put his hands on my forearms, pulling them around him. Resting my chin on his shoulder, I put my cheek against his. A moment later I stood and stepped out of the tub. I took some Tylenol from my bag and handed it to Dean with a glass of water. He took it and smiled at me.

"It's going to be okay." I told him.

"What could have happened to her that would lead her to us and in the condition that she's in?" He asked.

"I don't know." I told him shaking my head. "But I hope she does when she wakes up."

"What if it goes south?" He asked.

"We'll take it one step at a time." I replied. "We'll do it together."

"Okay." He smiled and stood, walking up to me. "Guess this means the funs over."

"For now." I smiled at him. "Stop making me wait. Kiss me already."

He laughed and kissed me deeply. "Let's not leave Sam waiting."

"You go; I'm going to get water and a washcloth." I told him.

"Okay." He said kissing me again before going out.

Looking in the mirror I leaned against the counter taking a deep breath. My mind started to go through everything that it could possibly be. I got the water and cloth before going back out into the room. I put it down and picked up my phone before staring at it, putting it back down.

"What is it?" Dean frowned at me.

I looked at him and gave a sad smile. "I was going to call your dad." I said giving a short laugh. He looked at me sadly. "It's okay." Though I could feel the emotion in my voice. "I just forgot for a second. He would know what to do." I frowned. I shook it off and took the ice bucket of warm water to the bed. "I'm fine." I smiled at Dean. "It just hurt for a second. I'm good now. Focused on the task at hand."

It of obvious that they didn't believe me. It didn't matter though. I tuned them out as I started to wipe down the woman's body. She was hardly injured; most of the blood was from mild wounds where it had smeared. She was filthy but I managed to get most of the dirt and blood off of her. Underneath all of the grim was a young woman with short black hair. She was tall and slender. She wore torn jeans and a tank top that was more or less intact. Her feet were bare and the bottoms of them were cut in several areas. I used the bandaging supplies we had to wrap her feet and a few of the cuts that looked worse then the others. When I was done Dean and I sat on our bed and watched her while Sam did the same from a chair. An hour went by, then another. Sam left momentarily to get some food but she still didn't wake. We slept in shifts, wanting one of us to be awake when she finally woke up.

"Evy…" I heard my name but I was so tired. When I finally cracked my eyes open Dean was looking at me. "She's waking up."

Those words had me alert in a second. I shot off of the bed, my eyes locked on Dean's. He took my hand before we turned to the girl. It looked like she was waking but her eyes remained closed. After a few minutes it appeared to be more of a nightmare then anything else. I stepped up the bed and gently touched her arm. Her eyes shot open and she started to scream.

"Oh God…" I said and sat on the edge of the bed. I put my hands on the sides of her head. "Hey, hey, it's okay. It's all right. Shhh. Please, be quiet." I told her.

She kept screaming. "Shut her up." Dean said going to the windows.

"Please be quiet." I said leaning over the woman. "Hey!" I yelled giving her a sharp shake. She stopped but her eyes were wide and she was staring at the ceiling. "Thank you." I said and let her go. "Are you okay?" I asked, not expecting a response. I didn't get one. She shot off of the bed and found the first corner to cower in. She was against the nightstand in between the beds. "Hey, it's okay." I said squatting in front of her. She cowered away from me. I stood with a sigh and stepped away from her. I looked at the boys and shook my head. "I don't think she's ready."

"Evy…" Dean said looking me. I nodded and followed him outside. "What are we doing?" He asked when the door was closed.

"We're going to help her." I told him.

"How? She's clearly gone over the deep end." He replied.

"We have no idea what she's been through. We need to give her a chance to explain. If it turns out that it was some random coincidence, then we'll take her to the hospital. If she just happened to knock on our door, we'll take her in. Until then, we are going to look after her." I told him.

"Why are you so committed to this? We know nothing about her." Dean stated.

"I know that. But we can't just do nothing. It's not in me to do nothing. I have to do something." I told him.

He just looked at me, his jaw clenched. A moment later he sighed and put his hand on my cheek. "You're one of a kind, baby." He said and kissed me.

"Thank you. You are too." I told him. "But, why are you so against this? What if she knows something about Azazel? What if she knows something that could be crucial to finding him?"

"You're very positive." He said with a raised brow.

"And you're being awfully negative." I stated.

He sighed and pulled me against him. "I'll do better." He said and kissed my forehead.

"Come on." I said taking his hand.

When we went back inside Sam was standing in front of her. She was rocking back and forth. It wasn't just info I hoped she had that drew me to her. I knew some degree of what she was feeling. I knew the fear and the pain that was written all over her face. She needed help. She needed to be tended to. I would help her. I would be there like Dean and Sam were there for me. I walked to Sam, putting my hand on his arm. He just shook his head. I gave him a small smile before kneeling in front of her. I just looked at her. She was still cowering away from me. I took a deep breath, letting it out slowly.

"Hey…" I said trying to meet her eyes. "I have no idea what happened to you. I wish I could make the pain go away. I wish that the fear you're feeling would fade. But I can tell you that we're not going to hurt you. We want to help you. I can't guarantee that we can make it all better but we can help. But I can promise you that we are going to do anything we can for you. We can help dull the pain. But first…" I said looking at her. "First we need to know what happened to you. If you can tell us anything about what happened to you, we can help make it better." I finished. Her shaking seemed to subside slightly and she met my eyes. The fear was still there but she gave me a nod. I smiled and gently put my hand on her knee. "What's your name?" I asked her.

"Marissa." She told me.

I smiled at her. She had spoken. "Hi, Marissa. I'm Evy, this is Dean and Sam." I said introducing all of us. "Can you tell me what happened?" I asked her calmly.

She turned her body and faced me crossing her legs in front of me. She nodded as she looked at me. I crossed my legs and waited expectantly. Dean touched my shoulder as he sat on the bed next to me. I smiled at him and put my arm on his knee. Sam sat on the bed across from us. All our eyes moved to Marissa. She looked uneasy but I gave her a small smile. She smiled back. I wasn't going to pressure her. I knew what that was like and I didn't want to be that person.

"I don't remember a lot. I was walking alone down a side road. My parents live out of town and I was visiting them after class. A friend of mine lives about a mile away from them. I was almost home when some man stopped in front of me. He had yellow eyes." She told us. I nodded as I listened intently. "He told me to find Evy and the Winchesters. He told me where to find you. He told me that I needed to give you a message." She told me.

I frowned, dread filled me. "What's the message?" I asked her.

"That the game is over. The fun is up and that the next time he saw you or your boys that he would kill you. He won't seek you out and he recommends that you not seek him. The war has begun and what happened to Sam was just the beginning. Dean would be next and the pain he would feel would be unlike any other. He can still hurt you and he's not afraid of proving it." She finished and looked at her hands.

"What happened after that?" I asked her.

"He attacked me. Put the fear of God in me and then disappeared." She said and looked up at me. "I ran as fast as I could, caught the next bus out of town. But when I got here it was just too much." She said as tears ran down her cheeks. "It was too much, I couldn't take it."

"It's okay." I said and ran my hand down the back of her head. "I know the feeling." I smiled at her. "Thank you." I said and stood up. "I'm going to go get you some water." I told her and went into the bathroom.

As soon as I was in the room the shaking started. The tears stung. I clenched my jaw as I shut my eyes. A moment later there were hands on my shoulders and lips in my hair. I couldn't stop shaking and the tears started to flow faster. I knew this day would come. He would get sick of playing his silly games. Taunting me and making my life a living hell. But we got used to each other. We got used to seeing each other and we were too cordial with each other. I knew it would end someday. I was going to kill him, or at least help in killing him but it was pushed too far. It was obvious that it had to end. Opening my eyes the first thing I saw was Dean's concerned face. I closed them again and the image of him after I pulled him from the water entered my mind. I shook my head and took a deep breath.

"It's okay." He whispered in my ear.

"No, it's not." I said turning in his arms. I wrapped my arms around him, resting my head on his chest. "I knew this was going to happen. It was only a matter of time."

"Hey…" He said pulling me away from him. "I feel like I need to tell you how extraordinary you are." He smiled.

I frowned up at him. "Don't make this a light thing."

"I'm not. But to make you feel just a little bit better I want you to know that you are extraordinary. The way you talked to her. What you said. You're extraordinary. Is it so wrong to tell my fiancé that?" He said giving me his half smile.

I couldn't help but smile back. "I hate it when you do that."

"Do what?" He smiled pulling me against him.

"Divert my attention from a dire situation by telling me something so sweet. Something you don't normally tell me. Then give me a smile that makes me do anything you want." I replied.

"Anything?" He said raising his brows. I glared at him. "Then stop worrying."

"I can't." I frowned at him. "It's my job to worry about my fiancé. Remember that conversation we had about me taking care of you? Well, this is one of those moments."

"I know you're afraid of what might happen. But believe it or not I can take care of myself. So can Sam." He told me.

"I know. But I'm the girl in the bunch and if I don't worry no one will." I replied.

"You stopped shaking." He stated.

I took a moment to realize this. "Yes, so you've calmed me down. I guess I'm going to get her that water I told her I was going to." I told him.

"Not yet." He smiled and pushed me back against the counter.

His lips met mine fiercely and for a moment I couldn't breathe. When he finally pulled his face away from mine I had nothing left to say. He had successfully made light of a situation that terrified me. It was only a matter of time before the demon would resurface and then we would be in the fight for our lives. I was worried beyond measure but Dean knew how to calm me down, or at least take my mind off of the current problem. I got the glass of water and wrinkled my nose at him as I walked past. He slapped my ass and smiled as he followed me.

"Here you go." I said handing Marissa the glass. She had moved from the floor to the bed.

"Thank you." She said taking it.

"Are you feeling better?" I asked sitting across from her. She nodded. "Thank you for finding us. It took a lot of guts to come after what happened." I told her.

"He was rather convincing." She said sadly.

"Yeah, I know." I told her.

"So what now?" She asked me.

"We get you home." I replied.

"What if I'm not ready to go home?" She asked.

"There's no question in this. You got us the message he wanted you to. Your part is done. We can't risk you tagging along."

"Where are you going next?" She asked.

"We don't know." I told her.

"I live the next state over. Can you at least give me a lift? I drained my finances trying to get here." She replied.

I looked at the boys. Dean looked uneasy but Sam nodded and said, "Okay."

I just looked at him before looking at his brother. Dean shrugged and I smiled at her. "Okay."

* * *

The car was quiet. Dean kept glancing at me and I just smiled and took his hand. Sam and Marissa were in the back seat and both were looking out the window. We had only been on the road a few hours. We had several hours to go and if this was the way it was going to go then I was eager to have it over. Marissa was a sweet girl but she had disturbing news and the longer she was with us the greater the chances were that something would happen. It was making me on edge and it was obvious that Dean was too. Sam seemed to be the calmest about it. They started up a conversation in the back and I looked at Dean.

"Are we doing the right thing here?" He asked me.

"I don't know." I told him putting my other hand over his. "Something feels off."

"And you were the one who was so eager to help." He pointed out.

Marissa laughed and I glanced into the back before looking at Dean again. "I know, but her eagerness to stay with us screams conspiracy." I told him.

"You think?" He asked with raised brows.

I nodded and told him, "It's got me worried."

"If you're worried then something is definitely not right." He replied.

"That's not true." I smiled at him. "I worry all the time, remember?"

He just smiled and shook his head. "Let's find a hotel and figure this out."

Night had ensued and I felt the need to get out of the car. It was getting crowded and I couldn't talk too loudly or about anything serious with the object of talk was sitting not a meter away from me. It was comforting when the hotel only had single bed rooms and we couldn't leave Marissa alone. Sam got a cot and volunteered to stay with her. It was perfect. Dean and I would be able to have a bit of alone time. We'd be able to talk and fill Sam in later.


	18. E Is Even More Than Anyone That U Adore

_**Chapter Eighteen: E Is Even More Then Anyone That You Adore**_

_And love, is all that I can give to you_

_Love is more then just a game for two_

_Two in love can make it_

_Take my heart but please don't break it_

_Love, was made for me and you_

I listened to the song on the overhead speakers. It was sweet and normally it would have cheered me up but things weren't going as planned right now. I sat across from Marissa, the boys were off talking. They made an excuse to leave so Dean could talk to Sam. He had spent the past couple nights with her. We hoped he would have something to tell us, something that might put my worries to rest. Dean was behind me and I was grateful for that.

"So…" Marissa said watching me.

"Hm?" I asked looking up at her. I had been playing with the food that remained on my plate. "Oh, sorry." I smiled and crossed my arms. "Just thinking."

"What about?" She asked.

"What we're going to do next. First stop is getting you home. That much I do know." I replied with a smile.

"Thanks for the ride. I don't think I've said that enough." She smiled.

"You're welcome. I'm just glad you're all right after everything he did."

"It's not so bad now that I think back on it. It totally freaked me out but it could have been worse." She replied. I just frowned at her. She noticed and tried to shrug it off saying, "He could have killed me." I nodded but didn't like her new look on it. It only intensified my suspicions. "I'm glad I'm not dead."

"Me too." I smiled and was grateful to see the boys walking back to us.

I stood as they came and gave Dean a look. He just smiled at Marissa and followed me outside. When we were out of ear shot I couldn't help but voice my concerns again.

"Something is off about all of this. What did Sam think?" I asked him.

"He doesn't seem to share our suspicions." He replied.

I liked that he was saying 'our' suspicions but the whole thing had me feeling off. "She doesn't seem to think it was that bad anymore. She should be in shock. She should be looking back on it as the worst experience of her life. But she doesn't. Something is wrong and I can't stand being alone with her. I don't know what's going on but I think yellow-eyes has something to do with it. I'm feeling like an ambush is coming on." I told him.

"You think?" He asked, the thought going through his mind.

"I wouldn't put it past him." I replied.

"So what do you want to do?" He asked. I shrugged. I didn't know what I wanted to do about it. "We'll figure it out." He smiled and kissed me gently.

I put my arms around him, putting my face into his shoulder. "I just don't want anything bad to happen. Not now. Not again." I told him.

"Everything is going to be fine." He told me.

I nodded and ran my hand down his chest. "Of course it'll be okay. I'm with you." I said and kissed him deeply.

Before I was ready for it we were back in the car. I didn't want to be in such close quarters right now. I didn't want my uneasiness to show. If she got tipped off that we were thinking something was off then we'd lose our window of opportunity. _If_ this was some sort of conspiracy. It didn't help that no one had anything to say. The car was far too quiet for my liking.

"So…" Marissa said from the back.

"I figure we'll be able to make it to your house by tomorrow afternoon." I told her.

"Okay." She said but her tone was anything but happy.

"You know…" I said turning in the seat to look back at her.

"Keep your seatbelt on." Dean told me.

"Baby, I'm fine. I don't think you're going to crash the car." I replied.

"But that doesn't mean someone can't sideswipe us." He stated.

I was going to retort but thought better of it. I sighed and tightened the belt around me. I hadn't unsnapped it to begin with but I wasn't going to argue with him. Not about this. "It's safely in place." I told him before running my hand down his arm.

"Okay." He said but he seemed uneasy.

I took his hand in mine before turning back to Marissa. I looked at her, frowning slightly. "Did something happen at home that you didn't tell us? Was something going on before the demon confronted you?" I asked her.

"No, nothing." She replied but said it as she looked out the window.

"I don't believe you." I told her. "You're hiding something and I don't like it."

"What makes you say that?" She asked.

"Something is going on. I can feel it. Why are you really here?" I frowned.

"I don't like your implications." She replied with a hard tone to her voice.

"Pull over." I told Dean. He did and I got out of the car. I went around the car as Marissa did the same. I crossed my arms and faced her. "What is your problem? We're the ones who are giving you a ride and I don't appreciate things being kept from me. Especially when a demon has been involved. I need to know exactly what you know and what the hell you want from us. You obviously don't just want a ride. There is more to this then you're letting on."

"I don't know what the hell you're talking about." Marissa frowned at me.

"Tell me what you're hiding." I shot at her.

"You're the one who was on my side." She said looking hurt now. "Now I see that Sam is the only one who is. So I think it's you who needs to tell me what's going on." She said just under a yell.

"Hey…" Dean said getting out of the car. "Back off." He said pointing a finger at her.

"You back off." Marissa shot at him.

"Hey!" I said moving in front of him. "Don't talk to him like that."

A loud whistle sounded and we all cringed away from it. I frowned at Sam who was standing, frowning at us. "All of you knock it off." He told me coldly. "Marissa came to us in confidence. We're betraying that right now."

"She didn't tell us anything we didn't already know." I shot at him.

"Evy…please." He said looking at me.

"Fine." I said crossing my arms as I walked back around the car.

I leaned against the car doing my best to cool down. She was hiding something, I was sure of it. I closed my eyes and tried to think of something when I noticed someone watching me. I pushed away from car, my eyes straining to see the woman in front of me. There was a broken down barn in the distance. She looked very much like a woman in white. Something that was anything but unfamiliar to us.

"Dean." I said but he was arguing with his brother and Marissa behind me. "Dean." I said again as I took a step forward. I turned to say his name again but in the blink of an eye she was in front of me. I didn't get a chance to say it before my feet were pulled out from underneath me and I was being dragged to the barn.

"Shit." I said when it finally stopped. I looked up into the barn to see butcher knives hanging along the walls and dangling from the ceiling. Animal bones were littering the floor. I stood and turned to see the woman standing in front of me. "Listen, I don't know what you want but it has nothing to do with me. I'll help you."

"You made me do it. You filthy whore." She told me, her wispy voice sending shivers down my back.

"I didn't. I swear." I told her backing toward the door.

I turned and she was in my face. "You took him from me."

"No, I swear. I didn't take him from you." I told her.

"We were happy. You destroyed us." She said and pushed me back to the ground.

I froze when the knives above me started to shake. I had to get out of there. In moments the skewering would begin and I wasn't too eager to die just yet. Not again. But I knew that I wouldn't get out if she didn't want me to. The knives shook harder and my fears came true as several started to fall. They landed on all sides of me. I looked up as the one directly above me started to shake. I heard the door burst open and my name being shouted as the knife fell. I reacted as fast as I could. I felt the pain in my abdomen but also in both my hands where I had caught the blade. The barn suddenly took flame and the fire spread fast. I never did see the woman again and my mind was reeling from what the hell was going on. I was shocked. I didn't know who the woman was and when I looked at Dean he looked just as shocked. He looked at the flames unbelievingly. I took the blade from my body, my hand putting pressure on it as I got to my feet. I was mildly burned as I dodged the flames as the barn was engulfed. When I was out of the barn I saw Sam come around one corner while Marissa came around the other. Dean wasn't there. I looked at Sam before he looked at the barn. Panic took me over as I went back into the flames. Dean was searching for me. I ran to him, grabbing his arm. We ran from the barn, the smoke had filled our lungs enough to send us into a long coughing fit.

"What were you thinking?" I yelled at him. "I was coming. Didn't you see me coming?"

"No!" He shot at me. "All I saw was the blade about to fall on you and I ran in. I got disoriented when the flames started and then you were gone."

"Are you okay?" I asked him more calmly. He nodded, putting his hands on the sides of my face, kissing me passionately. "My hands…" I said looking at him.

"Jeez baby." He said taking my hands in his.

"Can we get out of here?" I asked him. He nodded, kissing my forehead.

"Where's the woman?" Sam asked.

"I don't care." I told him. "Let's just go."

Dean put his arm around me and led me back to the car. We drove to the nearest town, finding the closest hotel. We weren't even into the building yet when there was a blood curtailing scream. It sounded close. Dean and Sam immediately took of toward the sound. I followed but at a much slower pace. Marissa was with me but before I made it far I was hit across the back. I turned and Marissa was holding a crowbar.

"What the hell?" I asked as I got to my feet.

"She should have taken care of you." She told me.

"You planned that?" I asked her.

"It was a piece of cake. It doesn't take a lot to get you into trouble. You always seem to be able to find it and you always seem to get away. I don't know how you do it." She said pacing in front of me. "I was told you were good. Stories spread through hell like you wouldn't believe. But still, your luck should have run out a long time ago. I guess I'll have to take care of you myself. It'll make him proud."

"I knew it!" I yelled and lunged at her.

It hurt like hell but I caught the crowbar with my hands. Due to the blood I couldn't keep hold of it but I managed to push her to the ground. I turned and ran back to the car, taking a bottle from the trunk. I turned, throwing the liquid at her in the process. She yelled out as her body smoked where the water had hit.

"I knew it!" I yelled again as I kicked her in the abdomen.

"Evy!" Dean said running toward me with his gun raised.

"Don't shoot her!" I yelled to him. "I'll get the book." I told him as he forced her to the ground.

"I don't think so." Marissa said and forced him off of her before disappearing.

"Damn it!" I yelled.

"Evy…" Dean said rushing to me.

"I'm all right." I frowned.

He sighed and started to usher me into the hotel. I let him lead me into the room. I sat on the bed and looked at my hands. The cuts were smooth but I could see gravel and debris in them. Sam brought out the first aid kit and started to clean my hands. Dean was looking extremely upset but I couldn't blame him. I wasn't the happiest either. We were all quiet, but Sam seemed to be on the verge of breaking the silence.

"What is it?" I asked him, not able to take the silence anymore.

"I'm sorry." He told me.

"Sammy…" I frowned. "You don't need to be sorry."

"Yes I do. I spent the most time with her." He replied.

"Yes, and you also knew Meg." I told him. He looked up at me, hurt in his eyes. "I'm sorry. That was uncalled for. I wasn't even there for it."

"No, you're right." He replied. "You'd think I would know."

"I'm sorry, Sam." I told him.

"It's fine, Evy." He smiled as he kept cleaning my cuts.

He finished with my hands as fast as he could before moving to my abdomen. The puncture was deep but not too deep. Sam used the skin glue to close it as best he could before placing a tight pressure bandage around it. When he was done I moved back against the headboard. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath as I waited for the pain to dull. I had already taken something for it but so far it wasn't enough. When I opened my eyes Dean was watching me from the end of the bed. I gave him a small smile and he crawled onto the bed next to me. He rested his head in my lap. I smiled wider and ran my fingers through his hair. He put his arm across my legs.

"How's it going in there?" I whispered as I kissed his head.

"Loud." He replied.

"Hey…" I said and he looked up at me. I moved down, laying on my side. He did the same, facing me. "Let me help." I told him.

"No, you just rest. If I was smart I'd take you to the hospital right now." He replied.

I smiled and kissed him gently. "Yeah, but I'm okay. I'm positive."

"I can't stand seeing anything happen to you." He told me sadly. "Especially when we were worried about her from the beginning."

"She's a girl possessed by a demon. We can't blame her for that." I told him. "And I don't like seeing anything happen to you either. Are you sure you're okay?"

He gave a low laugh. "I'm fine. Don't worry about me." He smiled and kissed me deeply.

"Sing me to sleep." I whispered to him.

I was surprised when he didn't argue with me. Even though Sam was in the room he simply put his hand on my face and gently rubbed his thumb back and forth across my cheekbone as he sang _More Then Words_ by Extreme. I smiled and looked into his eyes before falling blissfully to sleep.

* * *

I woke with a start as the car went over a bump in the road. We'd been traveling for several days. We were trying to track down Marissa but there was no way of finding her while the demon was still inside of her. Sam had been quiet since the whole thing had gone down. He felt guilty but he wasn't the only one. We were all feeling pretty guilty about the whole thing. If anyone really needed to feel guilty it was me. I was the one to convince them to keep her in the room. I should have let Dean take her to the hospital. It was the smart thing to do but I said otherwise and it turned out worse then I could have imagined. I didn't know what was going on but we had to find her, _I_ had to find her. There was an innocent inside that needed to be saved. We would do everything we could to save her. To set her free while the demon was banished back to Hell.

"I need a drink." Dean stated, breaking the silence that had filled that car.

"Need a dose of karaoke?" I smiled at him.

He looked at me and smiled. I laughed and nodded, eager to get some of this off my mind. Sam was still quiet but Dean and I were more then ready to get a drink and embarrass ourselves on the small stage. The sun had been down for a few hours and by the time we got to the nearest bar they were already pretty rockus. We had a few drinks and danced before the mic was available for use. I belted out to .38 Special's _Caught up in You_, hoping that it would help let loose some of my pent up emotions. Dean did the same with Survivor's _Eye of the Tiger._ I cheered him on. It seemed like a ritual was starting to form. I couldn't say that I wasn't excited about it. It was a fun way to get things off our chests without sitting quietly in a hotel room waiting for the feeling to pass. It was a way to tire us out and the drinking didn't hurt either. Sam wasn't as gung-ho about it as Dean and I but he was a good sport. Sam wasn't that big on the classics and I couldn't blame him. He actually went out into the world and actually listened to decent music. I used to, until Dean, but I knew plenty of songs from the recent artists. To include him, I forced Sam to sing _Alive with the Glory of Love_ by Say Anything. A non-mullet rock song. At first I was far more into it then he was but by the chorus he was belting it out with me. It was fast paced and fun for us. I was always afraid that he felt like the third wheel and if he wanted to feel better about that then he would just have to participate a little in our activities. We were laughing and enjoying ourselves when my eyes fell upon the one person we had been looking for. A pit fell in my stomach and the smile left my face. The boys were talking and I quickly excused myself from the table and walked toward her, my eyes never leaving her.

"Having fun with your boys?" She grinned.

"What do you want?" I asked her.

"I want what every demon wants." She told me, her grin growing.

"One word to the boys and we'll have you exorcised before you can blink." I told her.

"But I have information you want." She grinned.

I glared at her. She just looked at me before leaning toward me, whispering in my ear. My eyes grew wide and she leaned away from me. My chest felt heavy as I looked at her. She still had a smile on her face. There was nothing for me to say. She smirked and walked away from me. She left me alone, staring off. Someone bumped me and I blinked, bringing myself back from what I had just learned. I turned around and looked at my men at the table. They were talking…laughing…I felt my eyes grow wet. I shook it off and took a deep breath. I took another as I walked back to them, with no intention of telling them.


	19. The Unusual Usual

**Disclaimer: Nothing you recognize from Supernatural is mine.**

**A/N: Here is the next chapter! I hope you enjoy it!**

* * *

_**Chapter Nineteen: The Unusual Usual**_

The water was cold and it felt so good against my skin. I sat on the bathroom counter placing the cloth against my forehead. I had been nauseous for days. My head was reeling and it didn't help that I hadn't slept well since I saw Marissa at the bar. The boys were oblivious to what I had learned and that was the way I was going to keep it. It had hit me hard but the vomiting was getting ridiculous. I put my hand on my stomach and waited for the nausea to pass. When I thought I'd be able to hold my stomach contents in I went back out into the room.

"You okay?" Dean asked.

"Fine." I told him though my arm was still across my stomach.

"You've been a bit off lately." Sam pointed out.

"In what way?" I asked.

"You've been a little distant. Unfocused when we've been talking about the job." He replied.

I sighed heavily as I ran my fingers through my hair. I dropped onto my stomach on the bed and looked at them. "Sorry." I finally told them.

"Is there a reason?" Sam asked me. Dean just sat watching me.

"So I'm a little distracted. There is no law against being distracted." I told them.

"There is with what we do." Dean told me.

I just glared at him. I couldn't argue with that. People get killed if something goes wrong due to any sort of distraction. I sighed and looked at my hands. The wounds were smaller yet, nearly healed. I frowned at them before rubbing them together. I nodded and looked at them, putting my chin in the palms of my hands. They just looked back at me. I shrugged and averted my eyes.

"You're hiding something." Dean said with narrowed eyes.

"I'm not hiding anything." I said looking at him sternly.

He just looked at me. I felt a pit fall in my stomach. I held my composure but I knew that he would be able to see right through it. Sam seemed to be convinced but I couldn't fool Dean. It was written all over his face. I just smiled and grabbed my sketchbook from the nightstand and started to doodle. They were nothing important. I let my mind wander as my hand moved. The paper disappeared as my mind went though everything in my head. I tried to make sense of it. Tried to but couldn't. Every thought I had that had the hope of leading to something always hit a brick wall before I made a breakthrough of any kind. I sighed and put the pencil down. When I looked at the paper a pair of distinct eyes was looking at me. I froze and glanced at the boys before quickly closing it. Grabbing my book instead. That lasted even shorter and I was heading for the door.

"Where are you going?" I asked him.

"For a walk. I'll have my cell." I said and kissed his head as I went to the door.

"Hey…" He said grabbing my hand as I brushed it across his shoulder. I stopped and looked down at him. "Be careful." He said and kissed my palm.

I smiled and kissed him deeply before leaving the room. Taking a deep breath, walking through the streets. We were in Baltimore, Maryland. The boys had found an article in the paper that looked suspicious and here we are. I knew they could handle whatever was going on and my mind was so scattered that I let them. I didn't push them to include me. I had my own research to do. My own troubles to try and fix. My hopes of being able to calm my mind were thrown out the window as it raced through everything that was making it hard to get through the day. If I could have it my way the day would freeze. Today there was no innocent person to save. Nothing wrong except for the information I was unable to face. My stomach started to turn and I took a series of deep breaths to try and calm it down. It didn't work. I ran down the nearest alley and emptied the nothingness that was in my stomach. The nausea was followed by a dizzy spell, making me support myself against the wall. It lasted just a little too long. When I had steadied myself I took a deep breath before pushing off of the wall. I went to the nearest clinic and waited to be seen.

* * *

As I walked from the clinic I was in a daze. Of all the things to have happened. Of all the things that had been going on how could this one thing slip by? This wasn't good news. This was defiantly bad news. I ran my fingers through my hair before walking into the nearest grocery store. The first thing I grabbed was saltines and opened them as I went to find a few other things. I stared at the product I held in my hands. I glanced around, feeling like I was being watched. I read the bottle over and over again. The words prenatal vitamins seemed to echo in my head every time I read them. I closed my eyes, feeling weak. I stuffed a few more crackers in my mouth as I tried to soak up the angry bile in my stomach. I quickly went to the checkout and then to the nearest park. It was a warm day. At first I was alone but soon mothers and their children started to arrive. I watched as they smiled and played, laughing along the way. Soon a mother took a seat next to me, her toddler ran off to play while she took her infant from the stroller and gently rocked her, swooning over her as she continuously glanced up to keep track of her son. I didn't mean to stare but I found that I was when she looked over at me.

"I'm sorry." I told her, shaking my head. "I didn't mean to stare."

"It's okay." She smiled. "Which one is yours?" She asked.

"Oh, none." I smiled back. "I just found out I'm pregnant. Thought the park might be a nice place to go."

"Congratulations!" She told me excitedly. I just scrunched my nose and looked away from her. "Not planned?" She asked.

"Far from it." I said looking at her again. "I'm not married. We're engaged but not married yet. So am I supposed to rush to the alter because of this? Do I wait for the baby to be born? Should I have the baby? Do I tell him now or wait till I've made a decision?" I rambled, shaking my head as I threw my arms up.

"Wow." She replied.

"Sorry." I smiled at her. "I don't have many friends and I guess I needed to unload. Sorry it had to be you."

"I don't mind, really." She grinned back. "When I got pregnant with Patrick I was shocked. I didn't know what we were going to do. Me and my husband talked about it and in the end there really wasn't a question. I was still unsure throughout the entire pregnancy but when he was born and they put him in my arms all that went away." She said and looked at me. "And when Megan came it was the same feeling all over again." I smiled and nodded, looking at the baby. "Can I give some advice?" She asked. I nodded. "Talk to your fiancé. Let him in. You don't have to do this alone, and if I'm being completely honest I would tell you to keep the baby. Once you're holding it everything will fall into place."

"Thank you." I smiled at her. "Thank you very much. You've helped more then you know."

I was grateful for her words of wisdom. But as soon as I was starting to feel better about it all the whole thing fell apart. We hunted demons. We were often injured, often in hospitals, and often on the verge of dying. I had died and now I was back and pregnant. I didn't know how to handle it. From a woman's perspective it was a good thing. I was happily engaged and ready to start a family. But from a hunters perspective I was in a lot of trouble. I couldn't let myself be delusional enough to think that I could bring a baby safely into a world like mine. I wouldn't be able to keep it safe from what's out there. Half the time I couldn't even keep Dean safe. How were we supposed to start a family when we're in danger all the time? The heaviness was once again weighing on me when I got back to the room. Only when I got there the door had been broken open and the boys were gone.

"What the hell?" I asked as I pulled out my phone. Neither of them answered. "Perfect!" I said slamming my phone shut. "Of all the days to get into trouble. Where the hell are you?" I asked looking around the lot, even the impala was gone.

I ended up walking the streets again but when I came up with nothing there was only one place left to look. The worst possible place the boys could end up in.

"Hi, I'm looking for two men. I think they may have been arrested." I told the officer behind the counter.

"Names?" He asked.

"Dean and Sam Winchester." I told him.

He knew the names. He laced his fingers and looked at me. "Are you involved with them?"

"That would depend on what you mean by involved." I replied. "I am engaged to Dean but other then that I'm not sure of your meaning."

"Did you know what they were involved with?" He asked.

I looked thoughtful for a moment before replying, "What they were involved with? I guess I can't say. They took a lot of trips together, does that count?"

"They were away often?" He asked.

"Yes." I told him. "It sucks but you can't help who you love, right? They're away a lot but you get used to it. They don't really tell me what's going on. I can assume but I don't know if I'm right or not. All I can say is that I hope it's not drugs. I was supposed to meet him here in Baltimore but I found the room but he was gone."

"He's here and it's not drugs." He told me.

"Good." I smiled. "Can I see my fiancé now?" I asked.

"I'll make a call." He told me.

I had to wait nearly a half hour before they told me anything. I wasn't sure what was going on but they must have found something out and then got caught. Hadn't I told him not to do anything stupid? My anger only festered as I was left to think about it.

"All right," the officer told me. "You have ten minutes." He said and motioned for me to follow him.

Dean had his cocky grin on his face. I looked at him briefly through the window showing the interrogation room. It only added to my anger.

"Are you going to be able to hear me?" I asked the officer.

"No, you're free to yell at him." He smiled.

"Thank you." I smiled back before going into the room.

"Evy…" He said, the cockiness leaving his face.

"What the hell were you thinking?" I yelled at him. "I'm gone for a few hours and come back to find the door busted open and the two of you gone. I can't believe you two got yourselves arrested."

"Baby, calm down." He said standing up.

"Sit down!" I yelled and he quickly sat. "I'm the one talking right now." He just nodded. "What the hell am I supposed to do now? I have no idea how I'm going to get you out of this mess. So you have five minutes to tell me everything that happened."

He spilled about the murder they went to investigate the day before and then the murder they, or rather _he_, stumbled onto. Dean was caught in the room touching the body. He was arrested and that led to Sam who was also arrested. He was being questioned in a separate room. It was short and to the point. I just looked at him but couldn't be as mad at him after he explained. I sighed and sat across from him.

"So what do we do now?" I asked him.

"You go and wait for us to call you." He told me.

"Dean, I'm not going to wait for you to get out of this on your own. That never works out very well." I replied.

"I've got a plan. Don't worry about me. I've got this covered." He smiled.

I put my hands on the table and he brought his hands up. They were cuffed. I felt tears come to my eyes and I frowned. It immediately came to mind what the cause was and I felt ridiculous about it. I tried to force them away but they stayed. They spilled over and Dean frowned at me sadly. I smiled and shook my head.

"I'm fine. It's nothing." I told him.

"Come here." He said and pushed his chair back. I walked around the table and put my leg across his lap. I wrapped my arms around his neck and cried into his shoulder. "It's okay. What's wrong?"

"It's nothing." I said leaning back, wiping the tears away. "I'm just being ridiculous."

"No you're not." He replied. "What is it?"

"We'll talk when you get out of here." I said and kissed him deeply. I ran my fingers down the side of his face and smiled, just taking him in. "I love you." I told him softly.

"I love you too." He said and kissed me gently.

Just then the door opened and two detectives came in. "Time's up." The man told me. The other was a woman.

"Can't I have a few more minutes?" I asked them, moving from Dean's lap.

"We need to talk to him now." He replied.

"Sorry." The woman told me.

"I nodded. If I can't stay here is there any way I can see Sam?" I asked the woman.

The two exchanged looks before the woman brought in an officer. "Take her to the other one." She told him.

He sighed and held his arm out. I turned and kissed Dean. "Be good." I whispered as I kissed him once more.

"I will." He smiled.

I frowned at him, knowing that he would be himself and that was anything but good. I glared at him as I walked from the room. I was ushered into another interrogation room. Sam looked surprised. He stood and rushed to me.

"Are you okay?" He asked me.

"I could ask you the same thing." I told him.

He sighed and went back to the chair. I sat on the table and faced him. "Sorry." He said gently.

"Don't apologize. I'm sure it's not your fault. It's always Dean's fault. No matter what happens." I told him.

"What about Marissa?" He asked.

"Don't worry about that anymore." I said and put my hand on his face. "Just tell me what your plan is to get out of here."

"We don't have one just yet. We're following the plan for this sort of thing but the getting out part is a little foggy." He told me.

"How can I help?" I asked him.

"Go to the meeting place and we'll call you."

I groaned and got off of the table. "God, you two are so different and yet so very similar. Why do you want me to sit on the sidelines?" I asked him. "I'm the back up that you two need. I'm sure I can help some how."

"No, we are not going to drag you into this. We've got this one under control. You've got your own things to worry about." He told me.

I frowned and crossed my arms. "What's that supposed to mean?" I asked him.

"You're obviously going through something. You won't tell us what, but we know you are. Dean hasn't said anything and I'm sure he notices more then I do."

He was about to go on but I blurted my news out, "I'm pregnant."

He froze and looked at me. "What?"

"I've been nauseous for awhile now and then today I had a dizzy spell. I thought something was wrong but turns out I'm just pregnant. I got my stab wound rechecked and he said it shouldn't interfere with the pregnancy. I'm little over a month along. I talked to him about my alcohol consumption since we've had at least two karaoke nights in the past month. He doesn't think there is a problem right now. I'm supposed to go back in a couple weeks. I told him I was just passing through so he gave me his card so any doctor who sees me can call for my information. I sat there and listened to him tell me all of this but…how can I be pregnant? How can I bring a baby into the world with what we do? But more importantly, how the hell am I going to tell Dean?" I said quickly. Sam just looked at me. "Please say something."

"Wow." He said leaning back in the chair.

"That's all you've got?" I strained as I walked toward him.

"Sit." He told me. I did and looked at him with my best pouty face. "Listen, tell Dean when all this is over. But right now, this is the last place you should be. Let us take care of this because now, more then ever, you need to take care of yourself." He told me.

"But what should I do?" I asked him. "Do I keep it?" He just looked at me. "It's horrible, I know, but I'm scared."

"Do you want to keep it?" He asked.

"Of course." I told him. "It's a part of me and it's a part of Dean. But how can we take care of a baby when we fight demons everyday?"

"This isn't something you have to think about today. You need to go stay safe and after you've talked to Dean you can make a decision." He replied.

I nodded and went behind him, wrapping my arms around his neck. "Thank you." I said and kissed his cheek.

"Get out of here." He told me.

"Only if you two do." I replied but went to the door.

"We will." He smiled.

* * *

A few hours had passed before my phone finally rang. I quickly whipped it open. Sam was on his way. It was a small relief from the yelling that was going on inside my head. It didn't help that my nausea was back and the saltines weren't helping like they had earlier. Being stressed didn't help any. But when Sam arrived I felt better. He filled me in on what had happened since I had left, including an anagram Dana Shulps. After trying every possibility of what the words meant we may have found out something. After making a list of words that could be made with those two words we compared them to possible names from the town. Turned out that there was a street named Ashland not too far away. It was a place to start. We immediately went into research mode to figure out what it all meant. We hadn't figured out much when there was a knock on the door. I rushed to it, thinking it was Dean, only to find that it was Detective Ballard.

"What do you want?" I asked her. She held up her arms, showing me her wrists. I sighed and nodded, "Come in."

She wasn't here to arrest anyone, even though Sam had escaped from custody. She had seen the ghost. She was now the one who needed to be saved. We weren't going to turn her away.

"These showed up after you saw it?" Sam asked her.

"Yeah, I…I guess." She stammered.

"You guess?" I frowned at her. She just looked at me.

"All right. You're going to have to tell me exactly what you saw." Sam told her.

"You know, I must be losing my mind." She said pacing away from him. "You're a fugitive. I should be arresting you."

"Then we wouldn't be able to help you." I shot at her.

Sam ignored me. "All right, well, you know what? You can arrest me later. After you live through this." He told her sternly. "But right now, you gotta talk to me. Okay?" Diana nodded. Sam looked relieved as he sat on the edge of the table. "Okay, great. Now, the spirit, what did it look like?"

"She was…" She said recalling it in her mind, "really pale. And her throat was cut. And her eyes, they were like this deep dark red. It appeared like she was trying to talk to me, but she couldn't. It was just a lot of blood."

I cursed my emotions as tears came to my eyes. It sucked but I felt sorry for the ghost. What would it feel like to die like that and then never be able to escape it? I turned away from them. I listened as Sam showed her the pictures of every girl that had ever died or gone missing from Ashland Street. I didn't turn back to them until I heard Ballard find the picture of the woman she saw.

"Claire Becker, 28 years old. Disappeared about eight or nine months ago." Sam read.

"But I don't even know her." Ballard told him.

"It doesn't matter." I said walking over to Sam. "What's happening may not have anything to do with you."

"But why would she come after me?"

"Well, before she died, she was arrested twice for dealing heroin." Sam told her. "You ever work Narcotics?"

"Yeah." She replied. "Pete and I did. Before homicide." Her tone was slightly defensive. I eyed her but Sam went on.

"You ever bust her?" He asked.

"Not that I remember."

Sam turned to the report again and read, "It says she was last seen entering 2911 Ashland Street. Police searched the place, but didn't find anything." He handed the report to Ballard. "Guess we gotta check it out ourselves. See if we can find her body." He stated. I nodded and looked at Ballard.

"What?" She asked standing when Sam did.

"Well, we gotta salt and burn her bones. It's the only way to put her spirit to rest." He explained.

"Of course it is." She replied nodding.

I just smiled and grabbed my jacket.

We drove to the address of Claire's last known location. It was an old warehouse. It seemed like it always was. We split up to search the warehouse. Sam went up while Ballard and I stayed down. I was separated from Ballard by just a few yards, searching for anything, when she started to yell Sam's and my name. I turned to see Claire walking toward her in the shifty ghost like way. Sam came from the stairs but Claire was gone before either of us were there.

"Are you okay?" I asked her.

"Yes." She replied.

"Did she attack you?" Sam asked.

"No. No, she was just, like, reaching out to me." She replied staring at the place she had seen Claire. "She was over there by the window." She said shining the light.

Sam and I turned toward it. Ballard walked toward it. A rack was in the way but it was clear that something was behind it.

"What is it?" I asked her.

"Help me move this." She told me. I did and we all looked at the writing on the window. "Our little mystery word."

"Ashland Sup." I read. It was backwards but it clearing spelt out Dana Shulps if you rearranged the words. "Hmph."

Sam turned to where the letters were reflected on the wall. "Now the extra letters make sense."

Sam brought out his EMF and walked toward the wall, explaining to Ballard what he was doing as he walked. I was already at the wall. When he brought the EMF to the wall it whirred and beeped. Only confirming what Sam was thinking. He found a sturdy bar and took the liberty of breaking through the bricks. When a few had fallen away he shinned his flashlight into the hole.

"Yeah, yeah. There's definitely something in there." He told us. He got an odd look on his face. I frowned but stepped back as he started to break more bricks. "You know, this is bothering me." He told us.

"Well, you are digging up a corpse." Ballard stated.

I couldn't help but laugh. Sam smiled and looked at her. "No, not that. That's pretty par for the course, actually." He told her. I laughed again.

"Then what?" She asked him.

I crossed my arms and waited for him to tell her. It didn't make sense. "It's just…I mean, no vengeful spirit I've ever tussled with wanted to be wasted. So why the hell would Claire lead us to her remains?" I shrugged behind him. "It doesn't make any sense." He said before breaking through the rest of the bricks.

I helped him pull a body wrapped in a tarp out of the hole. We uncovered it to find what was left of Claire Becker. She had shackles around his wrists, explaining the bruising on Ballard's wrists. Ballard frowned and from on top of Claire's body she pulled a necklace.

"That necklace mean something to you?" Sam asked.

"I've seen it before." She told him, though her tone had grown hard. "It's rare. It was custom-made over on Carson Street." She said before pulling the same symbol from underneath her shirt. "I have one just like it."

"Where did you get that?" I asked her.

"Pete gave it to me." She replied.

"Your partner." I stated. She simply nodded.

"Now this all makes perfect sense." Sam smiled. I stood and tried to follow his train of thought.

"I'm sorry?" Ballard asked.

"Yeah, you see, Claire is not a vengeful spirit." He explained. The light went on in my head and I nodded. "She's a death omen." I nodded again.

"Excuse me?" Ballard asked.

"It means that Claire's not killing anyone." I told her.

"She's trying to warn them." Sam added. "See, sometimes spirits don't want vengeance, they want justice. Which is why she led us here in the first place. She wants us to know who her killer is." It seemed that Ballard caught on to what he was saying. "Detective, how much do you know about your partner?" He asked her.

"Oh, my God." She said as some realization hit her.

"What is it?" I asked concern quickly entering my words.

Turned out that there had been a trail to follow but she hadn't made the connection. About a year ago, some heroin had gone missing from lockup. It was clearly an inside job but whoever did it was never caught. But whoever took it would need someone to fence it. Claire was a heroin dealer. So it had been Pete all along.

"Dean." I said and looked at Sam.

Ballard made a call on our way to the station. She was told that Pete had just left with Dean. He had said that the prisoner needed to be transferred and he just took him. I looked at Sam and his worried face mirrored my own. Dean was alone with a psycho cop, handcuffed with no weapon. Turned out he took a county vehicle and Sam mentioned a LoJack that could be turned on. They had a head start and after learning that he was capable of murder I was even more worried about my baby's father. My hand instinctively moved to my abdomen and Sam caught it.

"He's going to be okay." Sam told me gently. "I promise."

"You can't promise me something like that, Sammy." I said looking out the window.

"We're tracking him. We'll be there soon." Ballard told me. "I'm sorry about this guys. If I had known…" She said and stopped.

"It's not your fault." I told her. "Just go faster."

When the van finally came into view Dean was at gunpoint on the ground. Panic seared through me, bringing tears to my eyes.

"Damn hormones." I cursed as I got out of the car.

"Pete!" Ballard said drawing her gun. "Put the gun down."

"Diana?" Sheridan said surprised. "How'd you find me?"

"Dean…" I said looking at him.

"It's okay." He said gently.

"I know about Claire." She told him.

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Put the gun down." She told him again.

The whole seen played out with me crying, Dean cuffed, and Sam backing Ballard as she tried to talk down her partner. Sheridan was too far gone. He went on to say that it wasn't his fault. Claire was going to turn him in and he had to stop her. The Giles couple wasn't his fault either. Tony had known what had happened but he got skittish and then he wanted to come clean. He assumed that Tony had told his wife Karen everything. It wasn't the case but she had to go anyway. Now Dean was his next target. His plan was to pin it all on him. He left Ballard with no other choice then to shot him. Diana couldn't kill him, hitting him in the leg. Dean rolled away as Sam and I went to help when Pete knocked Ballard down. He had the gun before we could do anything. But from behind him Claire appeared. It gave Ballard enough time to get a gun and shoot him. He was dead but in the end it had been for the best. He was about to murder all of us, starting with Dean. Ballard undid the cuffs and I played the typical hysterical female role, rushing to him as I cried like a little baby. It was ridiculous and below me but it was out of my control.

"You doing all right?" Sam asked Ballard when things had calmed down.

"Not really." She replied. "The death omen, Claire. What happens to her now?"

"It should be over." Sam told her. "She should be at rest."

"So, what now, officer?" Dean asked.

She sighed and looked at us. "Pete did confess to me, he screwed up both your cases royally. I'd say there's a good chance that we can get your cases dismissed."

"You could take care of that for us?" Sam grinned.

"I hope so. But the St. Louis murder charges?" She said shaking her head as she looked at Dean. I squeezed his hand as he frowned at her. "That's another story. I can't help you. Unless…I just happened to turn my back, and you walked away." She told him. I smiled at her, looking up at Dean. "I could tell them the suspects escaped."

"Wait, are you sure?" Sam asked her.

"Yeah, she's sure, Sam." Dean shot at his brother. I stifled a laugh.

"No, it's just you could lose your job over something like that." Sam told her. Dean scoffed at him.

"Look, I want you guys out there doing what you do best." She told us. I smiled at her again. "Trust me. I'll sleep better at night. Listen you need to watch your back. They're gonna be looking for both of you right now." She just looked at us. "Get out of here. I gotta radio this in."

"Hey, uh, wouldn't happen to know where my car is by chance?"

"It's at the impound yard on Robertson." She told him. He just smiled. "Don't even think about it." She said pointing a finger at him.

"It's okay, it's all right. Don't worry. We'll…we'll just improvise. We're pretty good at that." Sam grinned.

"Yeah, I've noticed." Ballard replied.

"Thank you." I smiled at her. "We really appreciate this."

"Get out of here." She told us again.

I nodded and took Dean's hand as we started the long walk back to town.

"So, are you okay?" Dean asked as we walked.

"I've been better." I told him.

"What is it?" He asked taking my hand.

"I have news for you and I'm not sure how you're going to take it." I replied, butterflies in my stomach.

"Just tell me." He said reassuringly.

"Fine, I'll just blurt it out." I said and took a deep breath. I stopped, pulling on his hand. He stepped in front of me. I took another breath before blurting it out like I had with Sam. "I'm pregnant."

"You're what?" He said raising his brows.

"I'm pregnant. I've been to the doctor and the whole bit. It's for sure and it's real." I told him quickly. "So far everything is fine. I bought prenatal vitamins and the whole bit. I'll eat right but…I want this baby." I told him. "Please tell me what you think."

"You're pregnant." He stated.

"Yes, we've gone over that." I said nodding.

"Wow." He said, shocked. I could see the wheels turning in his head. "You're pregnant." He said turning away from me. He ran his fingers through his hair. "You are pregnant." He repeated making me worry. "You're pregnant." He said walking back up to me. He put his hands on the sides of my head and kissed me passionately. "This is great." He smiled at me.

"Really?" I asked him, unsure if he really meant it.

"Yes. This is good." He said and kissed me again.

"Are you sure?" I asked him again.

"Don't you think it's good?" He countered.

"If you think it's good then it's good. I wasn't sure how you'd feel about it." I told him honestly. "I know we're not married yet but I do really want this baby. It's us." I said finally smiling, putting my hands on my stomach. Dean put his over mine. I moved my hand, putting his on my stomach, mine over his. "This is us."

He just shook his head with the shocked look on his face. "Wow." He said again and kissed me.

I laughed and wrapped my arms around his neck. "I love you, so much."

"I love you too." He said starting to kiss me repeatedly. I laughed and pressed myself against him. Sam cleared his throat and we stopped.

"Can we get out of here now?" He asked.

I laughed and held tight to Dean's hand. "Yeah."

It was amazing how Dean's approval of my pregnancy made all the difference. It was okay because he said it was. As long as we were in this together then we would take it one step at a time. Everything would work out in the end and hopefully the outcome would be a safe and healthy baby.


	20. Death Omens

_**Chapter Twenty: Death Omens**_

To say that Dean was overprotective would be an understatement. It thrilled me to no end how excited he was but I was under lock and key at all hours of the day. Instead of helping I was left at the sidelines and as the weeks went by I got moodier and moodier which meant that they were even more eager to leave me behind. Being left behind wasn't just annoying but it left far too much time for soap operas and snacks. As much as I wanted to be healthy only a pregnant woman would know how bad the cravings were and how sporadic they were. Doritos were my newest best friend. I had a bubble but I wasn't showing too much yet. Though I was more then aware of the being growing inside of me. I went through names and the whole bit but I was so eager to see Dean every time he came home it almost felt like a normal family. Except for the hotel room part and the fact that he was coming home from another demon fight.

"Baby!" I grinned as he came through the door.

"Hey!" He said kissing me as his hand found my stomach. After he kissed me he bent and kissed my stomach. I grinned and put my hands on his head. "How was your day?" He asked kissing me again.

"I can get you caught up on the soap operas I've been watching." I grinned at him.

"On second thought, I think I know how your day went." He smiled and kissed me.

"Yes, it was boring as hell. So how did the architect thing go?" I asked as I sat on the bed.

"Possible black dog. We're going to look into it." He said dropping onto the bed. I dropped next to him. He rolled onto his side, his hand finding my bump. I smiled and ran my fingers through his hair. "How's our son?" He asked.

I laughed, "Don't you mean our little girl?"

He just smiled and kissed me. "I don't care what it is as long as it's healthy." He said sweetly.

"I feel the same way." I smiled caressing his face.

"How are you feeling?" He asked.

"I feel left out is what I feel like." I told him sternly. He frowned at me. "I'm sorry, but being pregnant doesn't mean I'm handicapped."

"I don't care. You're out of the game until after the baby is born and then some if I have any say in it." He replied.

"Baby, I can handle it. Even if I'm pregnant." I told him calmly. He just looked at me. "Let me in. We're supposed to be doing this together not separate. It'll fall apart if we try to do it separately."

"I know." He said as he gently rubbed my stomach. "I just worry twice as much now that there are two of you."

"No, there is a me and a we." I smiled. "You're in here too."

He smiled and kissed me passionately. "I love you."

"I love you too."

"And I love you." He said talking to my stomach.

I smiled before frowning. "Listen, I love that you're talking to your baby but if you start talking to my stomach more then me we're going to have a problem." I told him.

"That won't happen. I'm going to love our kid but you're my number one." He told me sweetly.

"You're perfect." I grinned at him.

"Not even close but thanks anyway." He smiled kissing me.

"Dean." Sam said to his brother.

"What is it?" Dean asked without looking at him.

"Come look at this." His brother replied.

"What is it?" I said echoing Dean's words.

"Don't worry about it." Sam smiled at me.

"Seriously, I am not going to sit on the sidelines anymore. I'm going to be a part of this so just deal with it." I told them. Dean sighed but nodded. "Good. So what've we got?" I asked looking over Sam's shoulder.

"This is the doctor who reported the black dog." Sam told us.

"Successful." I stated.

"And I found the address for Lloyd's Bar." Sam said looking at Dean.

"I guess we're going to Lloyd's." Dean stated.

It was in the middle of nowhere. Right at the corner of a crossroads. Yarrow flowers were lining all sides. They were used for rituals, summoning rituals. Which was very interesting considering what brought us there to begin with. With the architect and the doctor both had come into fame ten years ago. It wasn't a coincidence. Dean took a shovel from the trunk and found the center of the crossroads. Just a few inches down we found a box. A bottle of graveyard dirt along with a black cat bone.

"That's serious spell work. I mean, that's Deep South hoodoo stuff." Dean stated.

"So a demon was summoned?" I said looking at him.

"Not just summoned." Dean said standing. "Crossroads are where pacts are made. These people are actually making deals with the damn thing." I frowned at him. "You know, because that always ends good."

"They're seeing dogs, all right." Sam stated. "But not black dogs, they're seeing hellhounds. Demonic pit bulls."

"And whoever this demon is, it's back and it's collecting. And that doctor lady, wherever she's running…she ain't running fast enough."

In the box there was a picture. Our only lead to who summoned the thing. Once we found the name we sought him out. So far he was still alive. When we got to his home there was a dark powder lining the door. It wasn't salt but one could only assume it was being used to serve the same purpose. Though George Darrow was much less friendly then the others. Dean and Sam managed to talk their way in. I had promised to be more of an observer then a principal considering the fact that I was carrying Dean's baby. I wasn't going to argue. At least I wasn't sitting and watching Carly Jax and her baby issues. It didn't help the fears that were always inside of me.

"So, what is that stuff out front?" Sam asked.

"Goofer dust." George replied. We all exchanged glances, unfamiliar with the term. George noticed it. "You boys think you know something about something but not goofer dust?" He said and tossed Dean a cloth bag.

"And girl." I added partially raising my hand.

Dean shot me a look. I shrugged at him. "Well, we know a little about a lot of things." He told George. "Just enough to make us dangerous." He smiled.

"What is it?" Sam asked.

"Hoodoo." George replied. "My grandma taught me. Keeps out demons."

Dean gave a short laugh. "Demons we know."

"Well, then, keep it. Maybe it'll do you some good." He said walking to a chair with a bottle of scotch or whatever he was drinking.

I nodded as I moved around the apartment. "These are wonderful." I told him. George didn't reply. "Is this what you wanted?" I asked.

"Four minutes left." He said referring to Sam's five minutes of his time that we were allowed to take.

"Mr. Darrow." Sam said putting concern in his voice. "We know you're in trouble."

"Yeah, that you got yourself into." Dean added. Sam glared at him but I had to say that I was on Dean's side when it came to this. They knew what they were doing. You can't save people from their own freewill.

"But it's not hopeless, all right?" Sam told him. "There's gotta be something we can do."

"Listen." George said sitting down. "I get that you boys wanna help. But sometimes a person makes their bed and they just got to lie down in it."

I looked at the floor. The rest of the conversation didn't go any better. George didn't want our help. Sam was being stubborn about it and Dean was willing to let him die due to his own actions. He had asked for talent. He wanted to paint. He hadn't been nearly as successful as the others but to me his art was wonderful. His only wish now was to finish his last painting before the hellhounds came to claim him. But he did have the last name of the people the demon dealt with. George was clearly guilty for summoning the demon. Unaware that it would stay and make more deals after the one he made with it. When we left, George was prepared to die. He would finish his painting and then the inevitable would happen. He was afraid but ready. I couldn't blame him for being tired. I could sympathize with where his head was at. But as much as we wanted to help him he would have none of it. So with the last name we went to try and save the last victim. Hoping that he would be just a little more compliant.

* * *

"Any more bright ideas?" Sam shot at his brother.

Evan Hudson was the last victim and Dean did a smashing job at terrifying him as soon as he opened the door. You don't open up with, 'Have you seen any hellhounds yet?' But that was Dean. I loved him but he wasn't the brightest crayon in the box. Being Dean he kicked the door open. We rushed in after Evan. He was in his study. Dean went to kick the door down but Sam stopped him. Checking the door it was already open. I gave a short laugh as Dean shrugged at his brother. When we stepped inside Evan showed himself. He was terrified beyond belief. He had been hearing the dogs which meant that it wasn't going to be long before they would come for him. Sam was determined to help. I was with Dean in my uncertainty but softened considerably when Evan explained that he had made the deal to save his wife. She had cancer; they had stopped treatment and were only giving her a few days. I understood his desperation, knowing that if I were put in a position like that it would be very hard to turn it down. I looked at Dean and the new information seemed to have the opposite affect on him. He looked hard and then it occurred to me what he was thinking. It hadn't even crossed my mind but now I understood where he was coming from.

"Did you ever think about her in all this?" Dean asked him.

"I did this for her." Evan told him.

"You sure about that?" Dean shot at him. "I think you did it for yourself. So you wouldn't have to live without her. But guess what, she's going to have to live without you now." I could hear the pain in his voice. "And what if she knew how much it cost? What if she knew it cost your soul? How do you think she'd feel?"

"Okay. That's enough." Sam told his brother.

I put my hands on his arms and pulled him back a few steps. "It's okay." I whispered to him. He shook his head.

"Evan." Sam said turning to him. "Sit tight. All right? We're gonna figure this out."

Dean pulled away from me, walking from the room. I followed him, Sam right behind me. "You all right?" Sam asked him.

"Why wouldn't I be?" Dean replied quickly, expecting the question. He stopped and turned, I stood between them. I didn't like where Dean was at and Sam seemed to feel the same way. "Hey, I got an idea. Throw George's hoodoo at the hellhound. Keep it away from Evan for as long as you can. I'm gonna go to the crossroads and summon the demon."

"What?" I said shocked.

"Summon—Are you nuts?" Sam asked him.

"Maybe a little." Dean replied.

"I don't think so, Dean." I told him.

"But I can trap it. I can exorcise it and I can buy us time to figure out something more permanent."

"Yeah, but how much time?" Sam asked.

"I don't know, a while." Dean replied. "It's not easy for those suckers to claw their way back from hell and into the sunshine."

"No. No way." Sam said shaking his head.

"Not allowed to say 'no', Sammy. Not unless you got a better idea." Dean told him.

"Dean, please." I said putting my hand on his arm.

"You can forget it, all right?" Sam told him.

"You can't do this." I told him. "Don't do this."

"I'm not going to let you summon that demon."

"Why not?" Dean shot at him.

"Because I don't like where your head's at that's why not." Sam told him, anger in his voice.

"Me neither." I told him.

"What are you talking about?" He said looking at us.

"You've been on edge ever since we found that crossroads, Dean. And I think I know why." Sam told him.

"We don't have time for this." Dean said moving around him.

"Dean…" I said following him.

"Dad." Sam said quickly. Dean stopped. "You think maybe Dad made one of these deals, huh? Hell, I've been thinking it. I'm sure you've been thinking it too."

I felt tears come to my eyes. This was a talk I wasn't ready for. I wasn't here after it had all gone down but I knew what I felt and I knew what Dean felt. The guilt was weighing heavily on him but there was nothing I could do to fix it.

"It fits, doesn't it?" Dean asked him. Pain in his voice. "I'm alive, Dad's dead. Yellow-eyed demon was involved. What if he did?" He said with a sad smile on his face. "What if he struck a deal? My life for his soul?"

"I think I hear it." Evan's voice broke into the conversation. "It's outside."

"Just keep him alive, okay?" Dean said turning and walking away.

"Dean-?" Sam said following his brother.

"Go!" Dean shot at him.

Sam stopped but I followed Dean from the house. "Please don't do this." I pleaded. "You don't know what you're doing. They can be very convincing."

"This isn't up to you." He replied looking at me.

"Like hell it isn't." I shot at him. "I'm carrying your baby. So it is up to me."

He stopped and turned. "You need to get out of here. I'm not going to let you get caught up with a hellhound. I won't risk you."

"I'm not staying here. I'm coming with you." I told him.

"No!" He practically yelled at me. "You need to get out of here. I'll be fine. Don't worry about me." He said turning and walking to the car.

I followed and slipped into the front seat before he could stop me. He just looked at me with his jaw clenched. "I'm not getting out. Let's go get this done."

* * *

The trap was set. Now all we had to do was bury the box. Dean was adamant that I not be in site and I wasn't going to argue with him on that. I didn't want to be in the direct line of fire but I would watch out for my man. I wouldn't leave him no matter how much he begged me to. I slipped into the trees. I could easily see and hear Dean. I watched him bury his picture in the center of the crossroads and waited for the demon to show. It didn't take long.

"So, what brings a guy like you to a place like this?" A woman asked him. "You called me?"

It took all of me not to blow my cover. She was a very attractive woman. Even though she was a demon. Then again, the demons were always beautiful. A silly twang of jealousy went through me before I pushed it away. It was ridiculous anyway.

"I'm just glad it worked." Dean told her.

"First time?" She asked.

"You could say that."

"Oh, come on, now, don't sell yourself short. I know all about you, Dean Winchester." She told him. From my hiding place I could see her red eyes before that shifted back. A sudden fear entering me.

"So you know who I am?"

"I get the newsletter."

"Well, don't keep me in suspense. What have you heard?"

"Well, I heard you were handsome but you're just edible." She said stepping up to him.

"You little whore." I whispered to myself.

"What can I do for you, Dean?" She asked him.

"Maybe we should do this in my car." He told her. "Nice and private."

"I'm hating you right now you son of a bitch." I shot toward my fiancé. "If you do anything I'm going to kill you."

"Sounds good to me." The demon smiled at him.

As they moved toward the car I couldn't hear them as well. I knew the plan but I wanted to hear what they were saying. I moved through the trees until I was close enough to hear them again.

"What are you offering?" She asked him.

"Me." He stated, stepping in front of her. My stomach fell. That's wasn't part of the plan.

"Well, well, well." The demon grinned at him. "You'd sacrifice your life for someone else's? Like father, like son."

I almost ran from the trees but if I did she would more then likely disappear. Dean's back was to me but I could only imagine what his face looked like right now. He was about to possibly learn something both needed and unwelcome.

"You did know about your dad's deal, right?" She asked him. "His life for yours?" Dean didn't say anything. "Now, I didn't make the deal myself, but, boy, I wish I had."

Dean opened the door to the car, "After you."

"Such a gentleman." The demon smiled and was about to get in but noticed the white chalk underneath the car.

This was where it got dicey and Dean had to be sure to get her where he wanted her. She was pissed. I was ready with a shotgun if it came down to having to step in but for now I remained in the trees. Watching…waiting…

"I'm not going to put you out of your misery." She was telling him.

"Yeah? Why not?" He asked her.

"Because your misery's the whole point. It's too much fun to watch. Knowing how your daddy died for you. How he sold his soul." She was taunting him. Hitting him where it hurt. "I mean, that's gotta hurt. He's all you ever think about. You wake up and your first thought is, "I can't do this anymore." You're all lit up with pain. I mean, you loved him so much. And it's all your fault." His face must have been pained because she laughed. "You blew it, Dean." She told him. "I could've given you what you need."

"What do I need?" He shot at her.

"Your father." She told him. "I could have brought him back."

I felt a flutter inside of me at her words. It was as tempting a thought as any thought could be. To have John back would have been a miracle. But the price was too high. I also knew that if I was considering it just for a moment Dean was considering it even longer.

"Your loss." She told him. "See you, Dean. I wish you a nice, long life." She turned away from him.

I watched as Dean didn't say anything and I wasn't sure what he would say if he did. "Come on…" I said as I watched. She was walking away. We still needed her.

"Hold on." Dean said moving underneath an old water tower that was near the car.

The demon stopped and turned back to him. "You're lucky I've got a soft spot for lost puppies and long faces. I just can't leave you like this." I felt that protectiveness that could be mistaken for jealousy twang again. "Besides, you didn't call me here to bargain for Evan. Not really."

"Can you bring him back?" Dean asked her. "My dad?"

"No." I whispered from the trees. "Baby, don't fall for it. Don't do anything stupid."

"Of course I can." She smiled at him. "Just as he was. Your dad would live a long, natural life…like he was meant to. That's a promise."

"What about me?" Dean asked her.

"I could give you 10 years. Ten long, good years with him. That's a lifetime. The family could be together again. John, Dean, Sammy. Even Evy." She grinned. Dean shot up at the mention of my name. "Yes, I know about her as well." She told him. "The Winchester boys all reunited." She stepped under the wood with him. "Look, your dad's supposed to be alive. You're supposed to be dead. So this will just set things straight. Put things back in their natural order. And you get ten extra years on top. That's a bonus."

I was right behind them now. Dean was quiet. He nodded in a way that worried me. She was getting to him. She was getting to him and I was afraid that he wasn't going to be able to go through with it. I knew he missed his dad. Hell, I missed him too. But it wasn't worth letting others die for it. We were here working for a greater good. Evan's life was at stake. I was afraid Dean was losing perspective. Falling into her trap, only it occurred to me that she had already fallen into ours. It was a little comfort though, Dean still hadn't said anything.

"Do you think you could…" He finally said, turning toward her. "Throw in a set of steak knives?" He asked her.

I grinned from the shadows. Damn he was good. I knew he was tempted but he knew what he was doing.

She laughed at him. "You know, this smart ass, self-defense mechanism of yours—" She stopped and looked up. She was in the devil's trap. We had her where we wanted her. She looked back at him. "Dean." She glared.

"Now you're really trapped." He told her. "That's gotta hurt."

"Let me out now." She told him.

It was time for me to come out. I didn't have to hide anymore. She couldn't hurt me and she'd do what we wanted or go back to hell.

"Hey baby." Dean smiled and kissed me tenderly. "Oh, and sure, I'll let you out. We just gotta make a little deal here first." He told her. "You call off your hellhound and let Evan go. Then I'll let you go."

She just smiled at him, "I can't break a binding contract."

"Hm. And by "can't" you mean, "Don't want to"? Last chance." He told her. "Evan and his wife get to live to a ripe, old age. Going, going –"

"Let's talk about this." She told him.

"Okay. Gone." Dean said pulling John's journal from his jacket.

"You are so screwed." I grinned at her. She just glared back.

She noticed the book and took a step toward Dean. "What are you doing?"

"Oh, you're just gonna go on a little trip." He told her. "Way down south."

"Look, forget Evan. Think of your dad." She told him.

"Shut up." I told her. "You just don't get it."

"What don't I get?" She asked me. "Would you like Jim back?"

I looked at her but was un-phased. "No, I don't." I told her.

"That's right. Because you have Dean here." She smiled at me. "Just wait sweet cheeks. You'll lose him eventually and then you'll come crawling back to me."

"Dean…" I said, my eyes still on her.

"_Regna__Terrae,__cantata__deo,_

_psallite domino,_

_qui vehitur per calus_

_caelos antiques!_

_Ecce, edit vocem suam, vocem potentem:_

_Akinoscite__potentiam__dei!_"

As Dean chanted I watched as the demon started to shake. The exorcism was working. She was starting to feel the affects and just when I thought she was going to let herself get thrown back into Hell she called out.

"Wait." She told him. She went to him, grabbing him, kissing him hard. I glared at her.

"What the hell was that for?" He asked her.

"Sealing the deal." She smiled at him.

"You know, I usually like to be warned before I'm violated with demon tongue." He told her.

"Dean…" I frowned at him. He just glanced over at me.

"Evan Hudson is free." She told him. "He and his wife will live long lives."

"How do I know you're not lying?" He asked her.

"My word is my bond." She told him.

"Oh, really?" He asked unconvinced.

"It is when I make a deal. It's the rules." She replied. "You got what you wanted. Now let me go."

He took a step back and seemed to ponder the idea. I wasn't all gung-ho for letting her go but I too tried to stick to my word. It wouldn't be the first time it had happened. Dean ran his fingers along the rosary in his hand and looked down at the journal.

"You're gonna double-cross me?" She asked him. "Funny how I'm the trustworthy one." He just grinned at her. "You know…you renege, send me to hell…sooner or later I'm gonna climb out and skinning Evan Hudson will be the first thing that I do." She told him seriously.

He seemed to contemplate it a moment longer before he reached up and broke the devil's trap. She made no time in walking out from under it. But she wasn't done talking just yet.

"I gotta tell you. You would have never pulled that stunt if you knew." She told him.

"Knew what?" He asked.

"Where your dad is." She replied.

I went to Dean's side, both of our eyes locked on her. "What are you talking about?" I asked her.

"You should have made that deal." She told Dean. "See, people talk about Hell, but it's just a word. It doesn't even come close to describing the real thing."

"Shut your mouth, bitch." Dean shot at her.

"If you could see your poor daddy, hear the sounds he makes because he can't even scream."

"How about I send you back there?" He said stepping up to her.

The words were barely out when black smoke billowed from her mouth. The demon was leaving. What was left behind was just a scared girl, unaware of what had happened to her.

"It's okay." I said bending down to her. "We'll get you home." I looked at Dean who was struggling a little. His breathing was hard and his eyes looked like they were far away. "Come on, sweetie." I told her softly as I helped her to her feet. I took her to the car before turning to Dean. He was still standing in the same spot. I went to him, taking his head in my hands. "Come back to me." I whispered.

He looked at me and gave a small smile, nodding. "I'm okay."

"You're not, but we'll fix that later." I smiled at him.

He nodded again, putting his arm around my waist as we went to the car. When we got the woman safely home we went and picked up Sam. Dean and I waited in the car. Both of us quiet. It wasn't till we were out of town before we explained to him what had gone down.

"Demons lie all the time, right?" Sam said. "Maybe she was lying."

"Come on. Is that really what you think?" Dean asked him. "How could he do it?"

"He did it for you." Sam told him.

"We've talked about this." I told him.

"I know." Dean said softly. "I just…don't understand." I took his hand in mine, squeezing it. "How am I supposed to live with that? You know, the thought of him…wherever he is right now—" He said and paused. "I mean, he spent his whole like chasing that yellow-eyed son of a bitch. He should have gone out fighting. That was supposed to be his legacy, you know?" He said. "Not bargaining with the damn thing. Not this."

"Baby…" I said and ran my fingers down his face. He kept his eyes on the road.

"How many people so you think Dad saved? Total?" Sam asked him.

"That's not the point, Sam."

"Evan Hudson is safe because of what dad taught us. That's his legacy, Dean." Sam told him. I nodded, there was nothing I could say here to make it okay. "Now we're still here, man. So we gotta keep going. For him. Hey, Dean?"

"Yeah."

"When you were trapping that demon, you weren't –" He said and paused. "I mean, it was all a trick, right?" Sam asked him. I looked at Dean before glancing back at Sam. "You never considered actually making that deal, right?"

Dean never replied. He just turned the station and sped up. I didn't say anything. He needed to be as alone in his head as he could be. He took his hand back and mine moved to my stomach. He glanced at me before giving me a small smile. It was something, but we'd talk later about what happened. There was plenty of time for that.


	21. What is Safe?

**Disclaimer: Nothing from Supernatural is mine. I wish though... hehehe**

**A/N: Next! I hope you all are liking this story. If so, a review every now and then would be most appreciated. =] Either way, though, I'll keep posting. I still love it. Enjoy!**

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_**Chapter Twenty-one: What Is 'Safe'?**_

Waiting for the doctor to come in I happily moved my hand over my stomach, softly singing _Hey Jude_. Grinning ear to ear I couldn't wait for today. Today was ultrasound day. The first time I was going to be able to hear the heartbeat.

It was like no other feeling in the world. It felt like I was floating on a cloud. I couldn't help the tears that came to my eyes. It was just too much. I laughed when the doctor smiled at me. She had been right when she said the gel would be cold but being able to hear not only my heartbeat but the heartbeat of my baby was unreal. Not only that but I could see the baby on the screen. He didn't look like much but he was there. My baby was there.

"Can I get a picture?" I asked her.

"Of course." Dr. Malone told me. "I'm sorry your fiancé couldn't be here for this." She smiled.

"Me too. But he's working. I'll bring him a picture and then he'll have to make it up to me." I grinned at her. She laughed. "I talked to your previous doctor but I'm just curious about this scar here." She said pointing out the scar from my near fatal stabbing.

"Not a lot to say really. I got into a bit of trouble and ended up finding the pointy edge of a knife." I told her casually.

"You seem pretty calm about it." She frowned.

"I find that dwelling on the past only makes living in the future more difficult. What's done is done. I can't change it so I'm just moving on." I told her.

Dr. Malone smiled at me. "I guess that's a pretty good philosophy."

"I'd like to think so."

"All right. Your baby is strong and healthy. You're free to go." She said and pushed her chair back.

"Thank you very much." I said swinging out of the chair. "I really appreciate you seeing me."

"Don't think twice about it. I love pregnant women." She grinned.

I laughed and shook her hand before leaving the clinic. I had a skip in my step as I walked back to the motel, humming the whole way. When I opened the door Dean was happily waiting for me.

"You're back." I smiled at him.

"How was it?" He asked. He was trying to be suave about it but I could tell he was concerned.

I frowned at him, kissing him sweetly. "The baby is strong and healthy." I smiled and kissed him again. "Stop wearing the concerned face. I told you. I'm taking care of myself and our baby. Don't worry." I said walking around him. "Hey, Sam." I said kissing his cheek as I walked by him. He smiled at me. "Is there any left over Chinese?" I asked them.

"Hungry?" Dean asked with raised brows.

"When am I not hungry?" I smirked at him.

"I'll go get you some." Dean said grabbing his coat.

"I'll go with you." I told him.

"You don't have to." He replied.

"Baby…" I said sadly. "You don't want me to go with you?"

"It's not that." He said putting his hands on my arms. I felt tears come to my eyes. "Honey, don't do that."

"I'm sorry, I can't help it." I told him.

"Come on, let's go." He said and took my hand.

I nodded as I wiped the tears from my eyes. "I'm sorry, you know I don't mean to try and pull the crying thing on you." I told him as we walked from the room.

"I know." He said kissing my hair. "It's okay. I can take it."

I smiled at him. "I have to admit the ups and downs with these damn hormones are going to be the death of me."

"You'll be okay." He said and kissed me.

It was a nice walk. It was intimate and normal. They had finished the vengeful spirit gig and now we were free until we found the next job. It was nice to be able to just take a walk with Dean without it being to look for the next demon. By the time we got to the Chinese restaurant I wasn't in the mood for Chinese anymore. Instead I wanted the freshest fruit I could find. We found a grocery store and I was happily eating a container of mixed fruit when I remembered the picture in my pocket.

"I nearly forgot." I said pulling it out. "Here's the first picture of our baby." I grinned at him.

"Wow." He said looking at it. "So is it a boy or a girl?" He asked.

I grinned at him. "Just a little too early to tell. It'll be a few more weeks." I told him. "But it's healthy and strong. That's all that I care about. It's probably a good thing I wanted fruit and not Chinese." I smiled at him.

"Have I told you 'I love you' yet today?" He asked. I shook my head. "I love you."

"Love you too." I said and kissed him deeply.

We talked about the baby until we got back to the hotel. Throwing names back and forth. Trying to decide what to do when it came. Do we settle for a little while or do we keep on fighting? He tried to convince me to go stay with someone. He would be happy if it were Ellen. Anyone who wasn't in the thick of it all the time. I understood where he was coming from but I needed to be with him. He needed to be with me. I couldn't raise the baby on my own and it would need its mother and its father. I won that battle but there was many more to come. Not only in the literal sense. It was already getting late when the hotel came into view. We were all restless, ending up at the bar for a while. I had a nice cold bottle of water while the boys had a nice refreshing beer. I was slightly jealous but it was for the best. I wasn't about to risk my baby's health just for a beer.

"The mic is free." Dean told me.

"I don't feel much like singing." I told him.

"Since when?" Dean frowned at me. "You're always singing something. I hear you all the time. Singing to the baby."

I felt my face flush. "Yeah, I guess I do."

"You know I love hearing you sing." He told me.

"You've never told me that before." I told him with a raised brow.

"Well, I'm telling you now." He smiled.

"You know I love hearing you sing too." I grinned, resting my chin on my palm.

"Fine." He said finishing his beer before standing up. "The guy before me did a horrible job. I can't sound any worse."

"You go baby." I grinned at him.

He just shook his head as he told the DJ what song to play. I couldn't help but smile and stare as he started to sing. I was surprised at what song he sang and I felt the tears in my eyes. It was a ballad and he never sang ballads. The song may not have fit his voice perfectly but it touched me more then I could say. He sang Survivor's _The Search is Over._ It was sweet and he put his heart into it. In the time I'd known him he'd calmed down. He wasn't so quick to shoot. At least that's how I felt. I know that since John died he had been off. Sam could see more then me. I wasn't sure if that was because I was ignoring it or if it was something else. Either way we were doing well right now and I didn't want to jeopardize that. When he was done he came down and kissed me deeply.

"Your turn." He smiled and kissed me again.

"I don't know if I could beat that." I smiled back.

"You can try."

I laughed and stood up. I went to the DJ and looked through his songs. I wasn't sure what I was looking for but I wanted something good. Moving away from the classics I sang Anna Nalick's _Forever Love_. It was sweet and it fit the mood I was in. We didn't stay as long as we may have. I got tired faster and I was ready for bed relatively early. The boys didn't mind and I was happy to finally be in bed.

_Sam and Dean were sitting in a lab. They were making something. Alcohol being poured into other bottles, cloth sticking out of the tops of them. They were explosives of some sort. Sam asked Dean 'why' but Dean simply asked for more alcohol. Sam didn't argue but went into an attached room to get more bottles of alcohol. There was a young blond woman in the room as well. Her name was Pamela. He asked her how she was holding up. She seemed detached as she went to the door, closing and locking it. Sam turned and was talking with her. I couldn't hear what they were saying. Only in the next moment she seemed to change and she hit Sam, sending him down onto his back. She grabbed a scalpel blade and straddled him. She used the scalpel and cut Sam's chest. She then in turn cut her own hand and placed it over Sam's wound. The door burst open and Dean let loose several shots, killing her._

The pain stopped in my head but continued in my stomach. I shot up, breathing hard. I looked over to see Sam still sleeping but Dean wasn't in the room. I got out of bed and went to the bathroom. My hand remained on my stomach. The pain dulled and I waited to feel the baby move. After what felt like forever I finally did feel him move. I took several deep breaths as I tried to quiet my shaking. Tears were starting to spill over. Not only was I worried about my baby but I was worried about Sam. He was in trouble. I didn't know what exactly was going on but he needed me. I was still in the bathroom when I heard the door open. It took only a moment for Dean to come in and it was obvious that something was wrong.

"What is it?" He asked, panic in his voice.

I was still clutching my stomach. "I had a vision." I told him.

"The baby?" He asked.

"He's fine. I think he's fine. I'll go to the doctor tomorrow to make sure. It just hurt. It didn't hurt my head as much as it did my stomach. I don't know if the baby saw it too. It just felt weird." I told him. "But I'm not as concerned about the baby as I am for Sam." I said and finally looked at him.

"What did you see?" He asked.

"I don't know where it was but you and Sam were making homemade explosives. You were in some lab. He went to get more alcohol and was attacked by a woman. She cut his chest before cutting her palm and placing it over his wound. Then you burst in and shot her to death." I told him. "I don't know what it means exactly but it can't be good."

"It'll be okay. We'll figure it out." He said walking up to me.

I wrapped my arms around his neck. He was gentle but I could feel the tenseness in his body. When I was calm enough to lay back down we left the bathroom. Only when the room came into view Sam was sitting up after falling to the floor. I was surprised that we hadn't heard him. Dean and I froze.

"Sam?" Dean said alarm in his voice. I couldn't move. Dean went to his brother. "What did you see?"

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. He had seen Dean load his gun before going to another room. Sam told us how he saw a man tied to a chair. He was upset. Dean came in and the man started to cry. He kept repeating that it wasn't in him. Dean apologized before wasting him. I looked at Dean but he just gave me a subtle shake of his head. I nodded and put my hands on my stomach.

"What is it?" Sam asked.

"It's nothing." I told him. "I'm just worried about what you saw."

"It'll be okay. We'll figure it out." Sam told me.

"I know we will." I smiled.

We immediately packed and we were on the road again. Sam had seen the location in his vision. We were going to Rivergrove, Oregon. Dean questioned his brother on the way. How he knew where is was. Repeating what he had seen. It was too much of a coincidence for it not to mean something. This was something big if both Sam and I had a vision of the same event. He had mentioned a blond woman and the way he described her was the same as what I had seen. I was worried. I didn't want anything to happen to Sam. I didn't want Dean killing an innocent man. I didn't want a lot of things but what I did want…what I did want was for all of us to be safe. I wanted us to be safe and secure in this uncertain world. If not for Dean's sake or for Sammy's then for my baby's.

"What are we going to do?" I asked Dean when we had made a pit stop. Sam was inside the gas station.

"I'm going to keep you safe." He told me. I just frowned at him. "I think you should sit this one out."

"Where am I going to go?" I asked him. "I'm not going to sit in some dingy hotel room while you and Sam go deal with this. Sam needs me."

"No. He needs you gone. Just like I do." He told me.

"Dean, baby, come on. You can't just brush me off when the going gets tough. We're in this together." I told him. I was pissed. This was becoming too typical.

"Please, Evy, I can't handle this with Sam if you're there. What if something happened?" He said, pain in his eyes. "I can't be worried about you and you need to worry about our baby. You need to get checked out and make sure he's okay." I sighed and was going to argue but he stopped me. "You are the most important thing to me. You, Sam, our baby…" He said putting his hand on my cheek. "I need you to be safe."

"And how am I supposed to be safe away from you?" I asked him. "What happened to not going anywhere without me? What if you do something stupid? What if something happens and I'm not there to save you?" I said as tears ran down my cheeks. "What am I going to do if something happens to you?"

He kissed me passionately. "Nothing is going to happen to me. I'm going to take care of Sammy and you need to take care of you and the baby. You won't be alone."

"What are you talking about?" I asked.

Just then a car pulled up next to the impala. I frowned and watched as Bobby got out of the car. Dean went up to him, shaking his hand. "Thank you for coming, Bobby." Dean said gratefully.

"How could I say 'no'?" He said and looked at me. "Hi, Evy."

"Hi, Bobby." I smiled at him.

"Here…" Dean said taking my bag from the car.

"Dean…" I told him sternly. "I don't like this." I said grabbing his jacket. "You can't leave me." I told him as my eyes filled with tears.

"Baby, don't do the crying thing." He frowned sadly.

"You're leaving me behind while you go to face something horrible. I think I'm allowed to do the crying thing." I told him as they spilled over. "This is ridiculous Dean. You can't leave me behind. We're supposed to be doing this together."

He sighed and wiped the tears off of my cheeks. He kissed me passionately again before giving me a series of shorter ones. "I love you. I'll call you as often as I can."

"What if you don't call?" I asked him.

"Maybe I won't have any service." He told me.

"Dean, I don't like this." I told him as fresh tears came to my eyes.

"You're going to be safe. I promise you that. Sam and I will come get you as soon as it's over."

"But what if something goes wrong?" I asked. "I'm scared. I don't like being apart from you."

"You'll be with Bobby. He's going to take you to the Roadhouse." He told me. "We have a plan. There you'll have hunters surrounding you. Bobby and Ellen will keep you safe. I'll come for you. I promise you that I'll come. Just stay put and out of harms way." He said putting his hands on the sides of my head.

"What's going on?" Sam said coming out.

"I'm being left behind." I said looking at him.

"Bobby?" Sam said looking at him.

"I'm here to take Evy. She's going to stay with me while you two take care of this." He explained.

"Convince your brother not to do this." I told him. "Please, Sam."

"It's for the best." Sam told me.

"God!" I yelled running my fingers through my hair. "I thought we were past this."

"And you're pregnant now!" Dean shot back at me.

I growled into the air as I started to pace. It took me a few minutes to calm down. I didn't like this. Sam was in trouble and the way Dean had been acting worried me. The combination of the two didn't make for a very fun time. I stopped and looked at them.

"Fine. I'm not going to be able to change your mind." I told Dean.

"Thank you." He said stepping up to me. His hand found my stomach as he kissed me deeply. "Thank you." He said sweetly.

"Just promise me that you'll be careful." I told him. "Call me as soon as you can."

"I promise." He said and kissed me again. "I'll see you soon."

"Sammy…" I said walking up to him. I put my arms around his neck. He hugged me tightly. "Please be careful. Watch your back."

"I will, I promise." He smiled and kissed my forehead.

I stepped next to Bobby and watched as my boys got into the impala and drove off. The tears were in my eyes again but I clenched my jaw, holding them back. I didn't want to appear weak. It was just the stupid crying thing, stupid hormones. I took a deep breath and smiled up at Bobby. He put his arm around me, giving me a half hug before walking me to the other side of the car. He opened it and I slid inside.

"You ready?" Bobby asked me.

"As ready as I'll ever be." I replied.

"It'll be okay. They're smart boys. They'll be okay." He told me as he pulled out of the station. Going in the opposite direction.

"I don't like it Bobby." I told him. "Did Dean fill you in on both mine and Sam's visions?" I asked. He nodded. "So you can understand my worry."

"I understand, Evy. I really do but a woman in your condition shouldn't be hunting right now."

"My condition?" I shot at him. "Bobby, what the hell do you mean by my _condition_? I'm pregnant not dying. I am so sick of people treating me like I have the plague because I'm pregnant. I can still do the job Bobby. Being pregnant seems to have only affected my emotions not my fighting capabilities."

"Sorry." Bobby said softly.

The rest of the ride to the Roadhouse was rather quiet. I was anxious and annoyed while Bobby just seemed to be at a loss for words. It was such a relief when the Roadhouse finally came into view. I practically jumped out of the car before it had stopped moving. I went to get my bag but Bobby stopped me. I just sighed and rushed into the Roadhouse.

"Ellen?" I called as soon as I was in the door.

She came from behind the bar. She frowned when she noticed my stomach. "Hey, sweetie." She said hugging me tight. "What's this?" She said with her hands on my stomach.

"The source of my problems." I told her.

"Bobby." Ellen said when he came in with my bag. "Come on." Ellen said putting an arm across my shoulders.

She led me to a secluded booth and we sat down. Bobby found the room we'd be staying in and then went to talk to Ash. I was on edge and Ellen could tell. She went and got me some water before sitting across from me.

"Did Dean call you too?" I asked her.

"He did." She replied.

"I was worried when I got pregnant that he wouldn't want it. He's never been the fatherly type. But he was so excited." I told her and smiled. "He was so excited to be a dad. He was more excited then I was."

"How far along are you?" She asked.

"About four months." I told her.

She smiled at me. "You don't have it down to weeks or days?"

I laughed. "No, can't say that I do."

"Have you thought of names?" She asked with a smile.

"I'm partial to the common boy names. Luke, Sean, Nick…" I said and smiled. "But a more unique girl name would be fun. I like Peyton, Paige, and some common ones too I guess. I like Natalie and Brooklyn. I've thought of Mary but thought that might be a little too much for Dean. Like I don't think I'd be able to name it John if it were a boy. But you never know."

"But you've put thought into it." She stated.

"Yes, I have. A lot." I smiled at her. "I am in love with this baby. I can start to feel it move and it makes my heart soar. It's brought Dean and me closer together in some ways but a little farther apart in others. He's overly protective. Leaving me out of the loop, leaving me behind." I said and took a long drink of water. "And I am so sick of the crying thing." I told her.

She smiled, "Yeah, I remember the crying thing."

"Was Bill hunting when you were pregnant with Jo?" I asked her.

"Yeah, he was hunting."

"How did you deal with it?" I asked.

"I stayed here and ran the Roadhouse. I wasn't out there fighting." She told me.

"How did you handle the worry?"

"A lot of different ways. I knew he could handle it. But with Bill, he was a loner. Dean has Sam and Sam has Dean. They'll be okay. The three of you look out for each other. All of you will be fine. Between the three of you, your baby will have nothing to worry about. And you know you're always welcome here." She said taking my hand in hers.

"Thank you, Ellen." I smiled at her.

"Don't worry so much. Dean will be fine. He was right to leave you behind. Besides, it gives us a chance to catch up." She smiled.

"You know, where's Jo?" I asked her.

"Beats me." She said leaning back.

"Ellen…" I said looking at her sadly.

She sighed and leaned toward me again. "After she went on that hunt with the boys she decided that she wanted to keep hunting. I said, "Not under my roof" and she said "Fine"." She told me.

"I am so sorry, Ellen." I told her sadly. "I hope it wasn't at all because of me."

"Don't even think that." She frowned. "It was her own decision. It's been kind of lonely around here. Made me that much more excited when Dean told me he was sending you here." She smiled.

I smiled back. I was a lot happier to see her then I thought I would be. We talked babies and recent events late into the night. Ash and Bobby joined us for a while but the majority of the time was left to the girls. I was still worried out of my mind about Dean and Sam but Ellen had an effective way of distracting me. I helped bus tables and bartend. With all the hunters that came through it passed the time late into the night. Bobby was always in site but that was okay. As much as I fought against him, Dean was right. I felt safe and if it made doing the job easier to have me here I was okay with it. I didn't like it but I was okay with it. When the crowd finally started to disperse and Ellen closed down I was more then happy to get to bed. Bobby escorted me to the room and I fell asleep long before he did. But when the banging started on the door and the gun shots rang, any feeling of safety left me.


	22. Trouble Is Never Far Behind

_**Chapter Twenty-two: Trouble Is Never Far Behind**_

There was a split second where I couldn't move. It wasn't until Bobby took my arm that I was jerked back to what was happening. The banging had stopped and when Bobby cracked open the door the coast was clear. I looked at him and he ushered me from the room. He had a gun in hand and handed me one of my own. I readied the weapon and slid along the wall right behind him. When we got into the main room I could see Ellen on the floor. I was about to rush toward her when a shot hit the wall next to my head. I dropped to the ground. Bobby covered me and aimed his gun. He let loose two shots before pulling me toward the bar. I looked at Ellen who was just a few feet away from me. I couldn't see any blood. Not only that but I couldn't see the threat either.

"What's going on?" I whispered to Bobby.

"I don't know." He replied.

"Who is it?" I asked peering around the bar. A gun shot splintered the wood as it whizzed past me.

"Will you stop that." Bobby told me angrily.

"Well, I need to identify the threat." I told him.

"You're lucky I gave you a gun. Dean's going to kill me." He told me.

"Are you afraid of Dean?" I smirked at him.

"When it comes to you, let me think…yes." He told me and peered over the bar.

"See anything?" I asked.

"No." He said sinking back down.

"Ellen…" I said calling to her. "Ellen, can you hear me?" Her brows furrowed but she didn't come to. "Damn it." I said and went to reach for her. A shot rang and my arm seared with pain. "Ah!" I yelled pulling my arm back.

"Damn you!" Bobby said grabbing my arm. "You really have an issue with listening." He told me angrily. "You're trying to get me killed aren't you?"

"We're all going to die if we can't figure out what the hell is going on." I told him as he tore a piece of his shirt off at the base.

"Hold still." He told me as he wrapped it tightly around my arm.

"Ow." I complained.

"It's your own damn fault." He told me.

"Shut up." I frowned at him. "I was trying to help Ellen."

"Leave her there. If she stays still they're not going to shoot her." He stated.

"We still have to figure out who _they_ are." I retorted.

"Just stay here." Bobby said and made his way around the bar.

I stayed put as Bobby disappeared from view. I wasn't worried until Ash appeared out of nowhere. He was clearly drunk and he was completely open.

"What the hell is going on here?" He mumbled.

"Ash! Get down!" I yelled at him. He had a gun in his hands and he must have accidentally pulled the trigger and a shot hit the ceiling. "What are you doing?" I yelled at him.

I heard another shot but Ash was still on his feet. I did the stupid thing and stood. It was the wrong move but I hit my mark as a bullet grazed my arm. Bobby appeared and let loose several shots. When he was done he looked at me with a very angry expression on his face. I shrugged and went to Ellen. She started to come to again only this time she managed to get all the way there.

"Are you okay?" I asked her. She nodded. "What happened?"

"I don't know. A few hunters started to fight and then there was chair throwing and then gun shots." She explained as I helped her to her feet. "I was knocked out not long after it started."

"Well, we have a few bodies." Bobby told her.

"Damn it." Ellen said looking at the three dead men.

"Come on, people. Let's clean this up." I said and started to right tables and chairs.

"You're bleeding again." Bobby pointed out with a disappointed look.

"I'll get the first aid kit." Ellen said disappearing for a moment.

"I'm in big trouble." Bobby said as he sat me in a chair.

"This wasn't serious. I've had grazes before. This isn't a big deal. I'll protect you from Dean." I told him.

"You better." He replied with a serious look.

"You really think he's going to rip you a new one don't you?" I smiled at him.

"No, I know so." Bobby said as Ellen handed him the kit.

I just gave a short laugh and shook my head. He cleaned both wounds before wrapping them. After that all there was left was to get rid of the bodies and clean up the Roadhouse. This was becoming too usual when I visited. I was supposed to be safe here and now I had two graze wounds and a fiancé that was going to be very angry with me. It wasn't Bobby's fault even though he was going to try and take the blame. Dean wouldn't be able to stay mad at me long. I'd take the blame.

By morning everything was back in it's place. Only the bullet holes told the story of what happened during the night. I was exhausted but wasn't going to be able to sleep. Ash was passed out on the pool table while the rest of us sat around a table. Ellen was icing her head while Bobby kept looking at the clock. I didn't know when the boys would return but I was getting anxious already. Bobby wasn't helping. He'd had an ever watchful eye on me to the point where he stood outside of the bathroom. He was being ridiculous but there was no diverting him from his task. Whatever Dean had told him had put the fear of God in him. Soon Ellen grabbed a deck of carks and we started a game of poker while we waited for sleep to either take us or for someone to come in. I was surprised when the boys were the first to come through the door. I was so happy to see them. There seemed to be something different between them but I wasn't concerned about that just yet. I rushed to Dean, throwing my arms around his neck.

"Hi baby." Dean whispered.

"Are you okay?" I asked him, taking his head in my hands.

"Now that I'm back with you I am." He smiled and kissed me deeply.

"What happened here?" Sam asked.

"We had a fight last night." I told him. "Hi, Sam" I said hugging him.

"Hi." Sam smiled and kissed my cheek.

"Are you okay?" Dean frowned as he noticed my wounds.

"Just a couple grazes." I told him putting my hand on his cheek. "Nothing to worry about." He nodded. I frowned at him. "Let's go outside." I told him. I took his hand and did the leading. Something was wrong. "Okay, fill me in." I told him while we slowly walked.

"I'm glad you weren't there." He told me.

"You need to tell me what's going on." I told him. "You're scaring me a little. What's wrong?"

"There was a demonic virus. It made people go mad and try and infect anyone around them. What you saw happened. I couldn't stop it. He was infected."

"But he's here and he's okay." I told him.

"He was immune." Dean told me.

"Seriously?" I said shocked.

"Sam…is immune to a demonic disease. What does that mean?" He asked pulling his hand down his face.

"It's okay." I said pulling his head toward me, kissing his temple.

"It's not just that." He said sadly.

"You can tell me." I told him reassuringly.

"Before dad died he told me something. Something about Sam." He said and stopped, facing me. "He told me to watch out for him. Not only that but he told me that if I couldn't save him, I might have to kill him." His eyes were wet. "I don't know what to do, Evy. Baby, I don't know what to do."

I felt tears in my eyes. I pulled him against me. He buried his face in my neck as his arms wrapped around me. He started to cry. He never said anything. He'd been walking around with this weight on his shoulders for months. I kissed his shoulder, caressing the back of his head. There was nothing I could say to make this okay. Everything was coming right after each other. It was becoming too much. It was all spinning out of control and we had no way of stopping it.

* * *

When I woke up Dean was still sleeping next to me. I put my hand on his face, running my thumb across his cheekbone. Even as he slept he looked like he was in pain. I didn't know what he was dreaming about. He had so much weighing on him. I closed my eyes and for the first time in a long time I prayed. After what we've seen and done I never relied much on faith but it was time to believe again. I whispered to God, praying that he found a way to help Dean. A way to make everything easier and better. We couldn't get rid of the demons in the world but we could get rid of our personal demons. His was keeping his brother safe. Sam was a target. Even though I shared the same type of power he did he was desired far more then I was. It was clear. Sam was in trouble. He was meant for something that was beyond us. Dean would die before he let anything happen to Sam. I would do the same thing for either brother. Dean also worried about me no matter how much I wanted him to stop. I worried enough for the both of us. In his sleep he rolled next to me, his arm moving across my body. I rolled onto my back, running my fingers up and down his arm. He buried his face next to my shoulder. I could feel his breath on my neck. He was so tired. I turned my head, kissing his forehead before falling back asleep.

"Evy…"

I heard my voice being whispered but I frowned, not wanting to pay attention to it. I heard it again and finally opened my eyes. Dean was smiling sweetly at me. I smiled back, closing my eyes again.

"I don't think it's time to wake up yet." I told him.

"Yes it is. We've been sleeping all day." He said and kissed my forehead.

I ran my fingers down his face. I opened my eyes again and looked at him. I brought his head down, kissing him deeply. "Are you feeling better?" I asked him.

He sighed and kissed my palm. "I don't know. My head is still very full." He replied.

I nodded and kissed his forehead. "What can I do to make it better?"

"Just be with me." He said and his hand found my stomach. I smiled as he gently moved his fingers over our baby. "Just be with me." He whispered again.

"I'm right here." I told him. "I'm always with you."

I didn't know what else to say to him. He was distant and preoccupied with what had happened and what his father had told him. He had told me of his plan to lay low. To try and avoid the demons that may lead him to killing. To becoming something he isn't. To do whatever it is that John was afraid of. Azazel had something to do with it. He had to. I didn't know what but we had to figure it out. For Sam's sake and for ours.

The next thing I knew we were dressed and on our way to the clinic. Now more then ever Dean seemed to obsess over mine and the baby's health. I had my grazes he wanted checked out and after the fight and the vision he wanted the baby to be checked. I couldn't blame him. I was worried but as much as I wanted to take care of my baby I wanted to take care of my fiancé. He was going to push his feelings as far into himself as he could. Cutting everyone off, even me. He would throw all his energy into me and the baby and into Sam. I would have to try and keep him out of the depths of his thoughts. Away from the torment of his fathers words and the worry he had for his brother. Even I could see a few changes in Sam but more then anything he wanted to be good. He wanted to be the man everyone saw. The good school going boy he used to be. He was smart and strong. Courageous and insightful. But even he couldn't escape everything. He was destined for something unknown and something that would more then likely be unexpected.

"Everything is going to be okay." I told him, taking his hand as we waited to be seen. I was already gowned up for the exam.

"I know." He said moving his hand across my stomach. "I just worry."

Smiling, I kissed his hand as his other continued to caress the baby. I took a deep, calming breath. Then he started to softly sing, moving closer to my stomach.

"_Hey, Jude. Don't make it bad. Take a sad song and make it better. Remember, to let 'em into your heart. Then you can start to make it better."_

Smiling as a happy tear slid from the corner of my eye, I ran my hand down the back of his head. He continued to sing. I had been singing the same thing to our baby. Knowing that Mary had used it as their lullaby to Dean when he was little. I wanted to pass on as much as I could from his parents to our child. It was the little things that made all the difference. As simple as it was, it made both of us happy, as well as our baby for he moved happily against my bladder.

"There it is." The doctor smiled. A male one today. "A nice strong heartbeat. For twenty-six weeks, everything appears to be in order."

"Thank you." I smiled at him.

"So is it a boy?" Dean grinned at him.

"Let's see shall we?" The doctor replied and moved the ultrasound probe back and forth across my stomach. "Well, I'm sorry to say that the position he…or she, is in right now is making it difficult to tell what exactly it is." He said taking the probe off my stomach. "What have you been calling it?" He grinned at us.

"Mostly 'he'." I grinned back. "I don't know why but it feels like a 'he', but either one will do."

"It's a boy." Dean smiled.

I grinned up at him as he took my hand, kissing my palm. I winked at him and looked back at the doctor. "So, me and my baby are healthy?" I asked him.

"Yes." He smiled. "Both of you are in excellent health." He wiped the jelly off my stomach before pushing his chair back. "You're free to go."

"Awesome." I said and put my feet over the edge of the bed, pulling my shirt down over my stomach. "Thank you very much." I smiled at him.

"Not a problem. I love pregnant women. They always seem happier then all my other patients." He smiled at me.

"I can see why." I smiled as I stood.

He smiled and nodded. "All right, you're all set. Take good care of that baby now." He smiled at me before looking at Dean. "And you take good care of mom."

"You can count on it." Dean smiled as he took my hand.

We left the clinic in high spirits. Everything was fine. It didn't explain the pain I felt after my vision but if I had the power of visions it was plausible that my baby had the same power. I didn't know how that worked and it was possibly that he only saw it but didn't have the power himself. It left a lot of unanswered questions and disturbing thoughts. We had talked about them but it was something that we wouldn't know until much later. Right now there were other things to worry about.

"How's the baby?" Ellen asked when we were back.

"He's healthy as a horse." Dean replied.

"That he is. So is the mother." I added.

"That's good to hear." Ellen smiled as he handed me a bottle of water.

"Thank you." I said and guzzled most the bottle. "I'm so frickin' thirsty."

"You're still feeling all right, aren't you?" Dean frowned at me.

"Yes, baby, I'm fine." I said and put my hand on his cheek. "You worry too much." I smiled and kissed him deeply. "You're just lucky I love you so damn much." He grinned and kissed me again. "Where's Sam?" I asked Ellen.

"I thought he was with you." She said with a frown.

"What?" I said, immediately tense.

"How long has he been gone?" Dean asked.

"Nearly as long as you." Ellen replied.

"Damn him!" Dean yelled and went outside.

I frowned, sighing. I looked at the door, seeing Dean pacing through the window. I put my hand to my stomach and waited for Dean to come back.

"What's going on?" Ellen asked.

"Sam's in trouble." I told her.

"What kind of trouble?" She questioned further.

"I'm not sure. Enough to put Dean on edge like I've never seen before. He's worried. _Beyond_ worried. Something is going down and we don't know what it is. Sam is caught in the middle. Yellow-eyes is involved but we're not sure how. Things are so out of control we don't know what move to make next." I told her, running my fingers through my hair. "Keep your ears open, will you?" I asked her.

"Of course." Ellen nodded, her brows furrowed. "I'll pass on anything I hear."

I nodded and smiled. "Thank you, Ellen. I really appreciate it."

Ellen gave me a sad smile. I knew that this all must be a little confusing to her. I wasn't able to tell her everything. In case she was ever questioned I didn't want her to have any information that could get her into trouble. We were all in enough trouble as it is.

"I can't reach him on his cell." Dean said coming in. "He didn't say anything to you?" He asked Ellen.

"No, nothing." She said shaking her head.

"He asked me somethin'." Ash told us.

"Ash? What did he want?" I asked him.

"Well, Daisy, he wanted some information about people like him. Mothers who had died in house fires and such."

"And?" Dean asked.

"I gave him a few names. There was him and that Andy and his brother. One more in Indiana. That's where he's headed." Ash told us.

"And you didn't think to stop him?" I frowned at him.

"Now now, I just do what everyone wants me to do. He told me to keep quiet." He replied.

"You son of a bitch." I shot at him.

"Where in Indiana?" Dean asked.

"Lafayette." Ash told him.

"I'll keep you posted, Ellen." I told her. "About both Sam and the baby."

"See you soon, sweetie." She smiled sweetly.

"Bye." I smiled back.

Dean followed me from the Roadhouse, opening the passenger door for me. I slid inside and rested my elbow on the tiny ledge of the window, resting my head against my fist. I closed my eyes and tried to calm myself down. After everything that was said and done Sam takes off. Dean had told me that he wasn't going to lay low but thought he had convinced him to. Apparently no and now he was in trouble and we didn't know what kind. It seemed that no matter what happened. No matter how far we came or what evil we killed. Trouble was never far behind.


	23. Life Is Pain

__**Disclaimer: Nothing you recognize from Supernatural is mine.**

**A/N: Well, here is the next chapter. I'm not sure who all is still reading this but I'll still be posting chapters for those who do read it. I'm still in love with the show and still in love with writing this fan fiction. I'm already into season 4 on my own and am just waiting to get all of the chapters posted for this story and then the next. I hope you all don't hate me for this chapter and reviews are always welcome.**

* * *

_**Chapter Twenty-three: Life is Pain**_

The days grew long, the nights even longer. We were still without Sam but Indiana was close. We would find him soon enough. He would have to worry about his personal safety. The longer we were without Sam the harder Dean seemed to become. He was so angry at his brother. I couldn't blame him. I wasn't any happier with Sam then he was but I felt like I needed to mediate the situation. Dean needed to be calmed while Sam needed to be controlled. There was so much going on that it was hard to concentrate on any given thing. I had a case of nausea that set us back a little. I spent quite a bit of time praising the porcelain God. Part of it was my pregnancy but part of it was worry. I was hungry all the time and antsy. It felt like Dean was getting annoyed with me but he never said a word. He'd just nod and pull over if I needed him to. He was being perfect, even with our latest predicament.

"How are you doing?" I asked Dean just a few hours out of Lafayette.

"Anxious." He replied.

"I love you." I told him softly. "Everything will be okay." I said and smiled when he looked at me.

"I love you too." He smiled back, taking my hand in his. "I'm just worried about Sam. If anything happens to him I'll kill him."

I smiled and squeezed his hand. "I know. I'll help you."

* * *

When we reached town it didn't take too long to track Sam down. We did a little asking around and found him at a hotel called The Blue Rose. We parked the car, seeing Sam through the window.

"Thank God you're okay." Dean said looking at him. I let out a sigh of relief. Then I noticed the grin on his face. "You're better then okay. Sammy, you sly dog."

I looked over his shoulder to see a woman behind Sam. I frowned and hit him. "You have no idea what's going on in there." I told him.

"No, but I'm going to find out." He said about to get out of the car.

"No, just give him a few minutes. We don't know what's going on and it looks like they're in the middle of something." I told him.

"Fine." Dean said but his eyes remained on his brother.

"He's safe. Relax a little." I said tugging on his arm. "Just stop watching him."

"Evy, I'm supposed to be watching out for him. That means I watch him." He said without looking at me.

"Baby, look at me." I said softly. He finally did. "I know you're worried about him. I know that your dad put the idea in your head that you might have to kill your brother. But it's Sam we're talking about. There is nothing but goodness in him. He is wonderful and whatever answers he's looking for he needs to find for himself. You can't protect him forever."

"I can try." He said putting his hand on my cheek.

"Yes you can. So can I, but something is bound to happen. It always does." I told him.

"Yeah." Dean said and kissed me sweetly.

He kissed me harder. I kissed him back, really getting into it, when a gun shot rang. We pulled apart and turned to see that the gunfire was aiming at Sam. My hands immediately moved around my baby.

"Stay here." Dean said and got out of the car.

"No! Dean, wait!" I called after him but stayed in the car.

Panic immediately went through me. Dean disappeared and gunfire was still being heard. I couldn't see Sam or the woman. I was just about to get out of the car when the gunfire stopped and Sam and the woman came out of the room. I smiled and got out of the car. I was about to rush to him when I was grabbed from behind. My mouth was covered with a cloth. I struggled but was no match for the man that held me. Soon I felt groggy and passed out.

When I came to I was in an old broken down home, tied to a bed. My head felt foggy as I heard voices in the other room. My mouth was gagged and when I tried to call out my head seared with pain. Then my mind immediately went to my baby. Panic was in me once again as I waited to feel him move. I felt better as soon as he kicked me. I took a deep breath and then the door opened. A black man entered, it was obvious that he was unstable. I just looked at him.

"You're finally awake." He told me barely above a whisper. "Dean woke up a little while ago. We've been talking. I thought I'd let you into the loop. I hope you were on good terms with Sam the last time you saw him." My eyes grew wide as I began to understand what he was saying. "He'll be here soon and I'm sorry, but Sam has to die." The tears were starting to fall at the corners of my eyes. I stared at the ceiling. I couldn't say or do anything. "He's fair game. Like I was telling Dean." He told me. I didn't know why he was talking so low. He stepped up to me, putting his mouth next to my ear. "But he's not the only one, is he?" He whispered. "You're just like him." My body started to shake. "And this…" He said putting his hand on my stomach. "This is an abomination." I tried to yell but it was muffled and inaudible. "Sam and you are one of the same. I know you have visions too. I know that you are just like him. That makes you just as dangerous and just as fair game as he is. Two birds with one stone." He stopped and then turned his head toward the door. "He'll be here soon." He told me. "Sam first, then you." He stood and left the room.

I started to cry. The sobs were unheard in the other room. Dean was in there. I didn't know if he had been hurt. I didn't know what the man had planned for him. I didn't know anything other then that he was planning on killing Sam and me. He wanted to kill my baby. Just the thought made me sick. I needed this baby. I needed to be with Dean and to live a long happy life with my family. This wasn't the way it was supposed to turn out. We'd been in scrapes before but this wasn't looking good. My fear grew as I heard an explosion. I struggled against my bindings but they wouldn't give. Then another explosion went off. I stopped and listened. I could hear something quiet in the other room. It could only have been Dean. The tears came faster and hotter. Then there was the sound of fighting. I listened as best I could but didn't know who was fighting who or who was winning. When the fighting stopped there wasn't any talking. For a moment I couldn't breathe, but then I heard Dean's voice. Sam was alive and he was okay. I tried to call out but it seemed like they were already leaving the house. Didn't they think to look for me? But neither of them knew I was here. Wouldn't they think to check? I was starting to feel panicked again. I listened but nothing was there. I tried breaking the ropes again but they wouldn't give. It's what he wanted. Whoever the black man was. I was ready to wait it out but the next thing I knew the black man burst through the door. He cut the ropes and started to drag me from the room. He had a gun in his hands and as soon as we were going through the front door he was shooting at the brothers. My gag was still in place and the man had my arms pinned against me. The bothers ran, darting over an embankment on the side of the road. Then he stopped in the middle of the road.

"Oh, Dean!" He called drawing out his name. "I've got something that belongs to you!" I couldn't see them anywhere. "Fine." He said and pulled the gag out of my mouth. "Call to him." He told me. I stayed silent. "Call to him!" He hollered.

"Dean!" I called his name, my voice breaking.

"You son of a bitch!" Dean said darting out. The gunfire started and Dean scrambled back over the bank. "If you hurt her, Gordon, I swear to God I will make you suffer!" Dean hollered.

"Dean, I'm okay!" I yelled to him.

"I don't think so." Gordon told me.

I watched as he slid a knife out. "Oh, God." I said as he raised it. "DEAN!" I screamed as he slipped the knife into my stomach. I screamed in pain, feeling the blade hit what he was aiming for. In that moment I knew that there was no hope for Dean and my son. Gordon had completed one objective. He had killed the baby that had been growing inside of me. Just then cops came rolling in from all directions possible. Gordon let me go. I fell to the ground, my hands on my stomach. "Dean!" I cried but he wasn't coming. An officer was at my side a second later while others took down Gordon. "My baby! Please, my baby!" I cried as the officer picked me up into his arms.

He put me in the back of his cruiser before squealing his tires as he sped away from the house. The blood was flowing freely and I had no way of knowing if my baby was okay, though I knew what the outcome would be. I still had a grain of hope left that somehow he would be strong enough to survive. The officer drove as fast as he could. That I was grateful for. He called it into the hospital. When we got there doctors were waiting for me at the door with a gurney. I was rushed into an exam room. Everything was happening so fast and I was feeling so tired. I tried to follow what was going on but there was too much red and I couldn't understand what they were saying. It was all doctor talk and all of it terrified me. An ultrasound was brought in and I franticly watched the screen as the probe was moved over my stomach while my wound was taken care of.

"Tell me what's going on." I told the doctor.

"I can't tell you a lot right now. We're going to get you into surgery and we're going to do everything we can for you and your baby." She told me.

"Can I make a call?" I asked her.

"There's no time." She said just as a group of people came into the room.

I was helped into a gown and before I could convince them to just give me two minutes to make a call I was being rolled into surgery. I counted backward and soon was too deep in sleep to think about anything.

* * *

Voices were in the room. Everything was muffled but I wasn't sure who they were. My eyes felt very heavy and I knew that I wasn't going to be able to open them. I felt someone take my hand and I knew it was Dean. I tried to react to him but I couldn't. I heard a sniffle and I was filled with pain. I tried to open my eyes but nothing happened. I was so tired. I drifted back to sleep, unable to control it.

_I sat in the park. Small children playing on the playground in front of me. I watched myself walk to the slide catching a toddler as he came down. I scooped him up into my arms, both of us laughing. He turned and seemed to see me. I stayed where I was looking at the little boy in my arms. A moment later Dean came and wrapped his arms around me. I kissed him before he placed a kiss on his son's head. We started to walk from the park, smiling and happy, when the child disappeared from my arms. Dean and I looked depressed as we stepped past a tree. I watched as the scene switched and we stood in a cemetery, looking down at a headstone, a blue blanket in my hands._

When the dream was over I managed to open my eyes. Dean immediately was hovering over me. Tears immediately came to my eyes. It didn't help that Dean's face was tear stained.

"He's gone." I said as the sobs started. I could feel it. Our baby was gone. "He's gone isn't he? Our baby is gone."

Dean started to cry as he laid next to me, pulling me into his arms. "I am so sorry, baby. I am so sorry." He cried.

I sobbed into him, unable to hold it back. I couldn't stop, not even when my throat was soar and my voice raspy. He cried with me, holding me tight. It was unbelievable. How could he be dead? How could this have happened? What had I done to deserve this? We were supposed to be happy. This baby was supposed to be the beginning for us. We were getting married and we were going to start a family. Now our baby was gone. Where do we go from here?

It was only a few minutes later when the doctor came in. "How are you feeling?" He asked softly. I just shook my head at him. "I know this is hard but…" He said and paused.

"What is it?" Dean asked him.

"Would you like to see your son?" He asked.

I nodded before I even looked at Dean. He nodded at a nurse in the doorway and another stepped inside with a little blue bundle. The tears were streaming again as they placed him in my arms. He looked like he was sleeping. He was premature but still beautiful. He had Dean's lips and the shape of my eyes. He was so tiny and I wanted him so badly. I needed this small person to be here with me. I cradled him against me. Dean gently took his small hand from underneath the blanket and held it gently in his fingers. He kissed my hair. I could feel his own silent sobs against me as I cried against his chest. But despite the agony I felt, I couldn't help but smile at him. He was such a beautiful baby. I had had plans for us. For this little person and me. For us and his father. I had made plans and now they had been torn away from me. Placing a kiss on my baby's forehead, I held him against my chest as I leaned as far into Dean as I could. To feel…for just a moment…that we were together.

They let us hold him for as long as we wanted. Dean sat with him, staring at him. I watched as he rocked his son in his arms, whispering to him, placing kisses on top of his head every so often. Even as the tears flowed, I smiled at him. Loving the site of Dean with a baby in his arms. We both held so much love for our child that at times it seemed almost unreal.

Hours had gone by before I finally had the nurse take him from my arms. It was the hardest thing I had ever done. She smiled at me sympathetically before taking him from my sight. As soon as he was gone my sobs were renewed and Dean held me against him.

I cried myself to sleep. Dean cradling me against his chest. I had a dreamless sleep. My body trying to protect itself from what I didn't want to face. Dean was ever at my side but he was hurting just as much as I was. How we were going to deal with this, I didn't know, but we would. We would be okay. We would survive this and we would try again.

"How is she?" I heard Sam's voice. I felt Dean shake his head. "How are you?" I felt him shake his head again. "Man, I am so sorry." Sam said sympathetically.

"We should have done something." Dean whispered. "We shouldn't have just stayed hidden."

"You would have been shot." Sam told him.

"I don't care. It wasn't worth the price." He replied.

"Do you think Evy would see it that way?" Sam asked him. "I think she'd rather have you then to have your baby and you be dead." He told him.

"Maybe." Dean said and kissed my hair.

"Not maybe." I whispered.

"Hey." Dean said, his tone immediately changing.

"I'm okay. We're going to be okay." I told him, holding him tighter. I wasn't ready to look at him yet. "Sam's right."

"Well the good news is, is that you're going to be okay. No permanent damage was done. It'll be a while before you can conceive again but it's possible." Sam told me as cheerfully as he could.

"Okay." I said with my eyes closed.

"I love you." Dean whispered softly to me. "I love you so much. I should have done something. I wanted to go to you but…" He said and stopped.

"It's okay, baby." I said furrowing my brows. "I understand. It was already done. You couldn't have done anything." I told him. "You're here now."

"You need to look at me." He told me, pain in his voice.

"I can't." I said as the tears started.

"Evy, you have to." Dean told me as his finger found my chin.

He lifted my chin with his finger and when he stopped I opened my eyes. In his face I could see the child in my dream. The tears started again and I wrapped my arm around his neck as I sobbed into him yet again. I felt detached. All I needed was Dean. He was all I needed but I had been halfway there, that was the rub. I was halfway through my pregnancy and things had been going so well. I was able to survive more then one attack and both of us were healthy. We were healthy and ready. I had barely got a hold of myself when the doctor came in. I wiped my eyes, putting my hair behind my ears. Dean held me tighter as the doctor pulled a chair next to my bed.

"How are you feeling, Evy?" He asked me. A few tears fell as I shook my head. He nodded. "I am so sorry for your loss. I wish there was something I could say to make it better but there isn't." He told me sadly. "But you are going to be all right. We fixed everything the stab wound hurt. You'll be able to conceive again. I'm sorry this happened. I'd like to keep you at least a few days to make sure nothing goes wrong. You'll have recovered enough by then."

I nodded and tried to find my voice. "Okay." I said trying to be interactive. It took a lot of energy.

"Okay." He smiled and gently patted my leg before leaving the room.

I let out the breath I had been holding. I looked up at Dean, running my fingers down his face. He gave me a small smile, kissing me gently. I kissed him deeper before resting my head on his chest. I listened to his heart beat as I felt his chest rise and fall with every breath. He started to hum. I looked at Sam who smiled and nodded before he left the room, closing the door behind him. I closed my eyes gripping him tighter as he started to sing to me.

_Hey Jude, don't make it bad  
Take a sad song and make it better  
Remember to let her into your heart  
Then you can start to make it better_

_Hey Jude, don't be afraid_  
_You were made to go out and get her_  
_The minute you let her under your skin_  
_Then you begin to make it better_

_And anytime you feel the pain, hey Jude, refrain  
Don't carry the world upon your shoulders  
For well you know that it's a fool who plays it cool  
By making his world a little colder_

_Hey Jude, don't let me down_  
_You have found her, now go and get her_  
_Remember to let her into your heart_  
_Then you can start to make it better_

_So let it out and let it in, hey Jude, begin_  
_You're waiting for someone to perform with_  
_And don't you know that it's just you? Hey Jude, you'll do_  
_The movement you need is on your shoulder_

By the end of his singing I was once again asleep, only I was much more comforted. He had calmed me down. Made the pain dull because even though we had just lost our baby we still had each other. As long as I had Dean I would be able to take anything. It would be hard at times and painful but with him I would be able to take it. I would take it in and we would survive anything they threw at as.

_Hey Jude, don't make it bad  
Take a sad song and make it better  
Remember to let her under your skin  
Then you begin to make it better…_


	24. Rest

_**Chapter Twenty-four: Rest**_

As in my dream I now stood in a small cemetery, staring at the small headstone. Jonathan James Winchester was etched into the stone. We had talked about naming him after Dad and now he would be. The small mound of dirt was still raised over the small hole. He had been so tiny. Like my dream, I held a small blue blanket that he had been in when we were saying goodbye. I folded it up and placed it against the headstone, tears sliding down my cheeks. I heard Dean sniffle at my side. I furrowed my brows and took his hand in mine. I felt his lips against my hair and we slowly turned away from our son's grave. It was time. We had to let him go.

The impala was home and I was eager to return to it. When I was finally released I slipped into the seat, sinking down, taking in the smell of the car. I could pick out Dean's scent and I took a deep breath. They talked quietly over the car, though my name was said more then once. I didn't know what the plan was now. I didn't know what we were going to do. Things had been quiet. Dean and I had been physically closer but my mind was anything but calm and Dean was distant. This was just one more thing for him to have to deal with. First his dad tells him about Sam and then dies. I was dead at the time. Then Sam is immune to a demonic disease. I get pregnant which was the first good news he had had in a long time. Then Sam disappears, Dean and I are taken captive by a mad man, I was stabbed and our baby was lost. We thought things were out of control before. Now it felt like we were at square one again. At the beginning of some twisted road we were on with no way forward and no way back.

"Are you sure that's where you want to go?" Dean asked as we drove.

"Yes." I said looking at him. "I need to see her. Ellen will understand and I need another woman right now. I love you and Sam more then anything but sometimes I need a woman to talk to." I said putting my hand on his arm.

He nodded, "I get it." He looked at me, smiling.

"You should have told her what happened." Sam said from the backseat.

"I couldn't do it without crying and she'll know as soon as I see her. It won't he hard to figure out." I told him, looking out the window.

"We've been spending a lot of time at the Roadhouse." Dean pointed out.

"After this we won't come back for a while. Okay?" I smiled at him.

"It's not that I mind. Free beer, free room and board, what's better then that?" He smiled back.

I smiled but my smile faltered. I took a deep breath as the Roadhouse came into view. I had been doing a lot crying lately but I knew that more would follow as soon as I walked in. I wouldn't be able to hide it. I got out slowly; the pain hadn't fully subsided despite the pain pills. Dean took my hand, squeezing it as we walked to the door. When I was inside Ellen smiled at me. I smiled back but the tears were already in my eyes.

"What is it?" She asked.

"Well, we had a run in with Gordon." I told her. "The boys had to fill me in on who he was but uh…anyway, a long story short, I'm not pregnant anymore." I told her as composed as I could.

"What?" Ellen asked shocked.

"Yeah, I took a knife to the stomach." I told her.

"Oh, sweetie…" She said coming around the counter. She gave me a big hug. "I am so sorry."

"Yeah." I said with a smile and a shrug. "Everyone is."

"But that's not all of it." Dean told her, an edge to his voice.

"What is it?" Ellen asked.

"He said that he heard about Sam from someone at the Roadhouse." Dean told her.

"And you think it's me?" She asked.

"Who else knows about Sammy?" He shot back at her.

"Dean, please." I said looking at him. "Ellen wouldn't say anything."

"There are plenty of hunters that come through here smart enough to put it together. I can name you ten now." She frowned at him.

"Okay, sorry." Dean said but he was still upset. "I nearly lost my brother and my fiancé in one day and I did lose my baby."

"I know and I'm sorry." Ellen told him softly. "But I wouldn't rat out you or Sam."

"I know. I'm sorry too." He said and moved against me.

"Come on, sweetie, let's talk." She said taking my hand.

I smiled at Dean, putting my hand on his face before following Ellen. She led me to the booth that was becoming a regular for us. We sat down and for a moment neither of us said anything.

"How are you holding up?" Ellen asked me.

I nodded and smiled, "As well as possible."

"Was it an accident or…?" She said unable to finish.

"No." I said shaking my head. "He was going to kill Sam and then me and my baby. His plan went south so instead of killing us he just managed to kill my baby." I told her. "It was probably better that way. We'll all suffer more. The other way Dean would only suffer."

"It's just too much." She said sitting back.

"Yeah, but I guess I should have seen it coming." I told her doing the same, my hand unconsciously moving to my stomach. Instead of feeling kicking I felt the bandage that had stitches underneath it.

"Why?" She asked.

"Because every time I think things are going my way they fall apart. I was happy. I had Dean and I had our baby. I still have Dean but I lost our son." I replied. She just looked at me. "Yes, it was a boy." I answered her silent question. "I feel responsible even though I couldn't control what happened."

"As long as you know that, that's good." She told me reassuringly. "Because it wasn't your fault."

"I know." I told her as tears sprang to my eyes. "But I miss him kicking me. Even if he didn't do it often yet, I could still feel him moving inside of me. I learned to love him so much." I said and wiped my eyes. "He was Dean and we never know what's going to happen. To have a part of him if something went wrong would have been a comfort."

"I understand." Ellen told me.

"You would understand that." I told her with a small smile. She nodded, returning it. "Have you heard from Jo?" I asked her.

"Just the occasional postcard." She replied with a sigh.

"How are you doing with that?"

She shrugged, "It's her life. I can't control her forever."

I nodded and looked over at the boys. Both had a beer sitting in front of them but Sam appeared to be the only one drinking his. I looked back at Ellen who had a concerned look on her face.

"Are you and Dean going to be okay?" She asked.

"Yes, of course we will." I told her. But the look on her face was skeptical. "We will, I promise." I told her. "He's been through a lot lately. But we're doing okay. It sucks, but the more time we take away from the job the less people we'll save. We need to save as many as possible. For all of their family's sake."

"Are you just staying the night then?" She asked.

"Probably." I replied. "Do you have two rooms?" I asked.

She smiled and nodded. "You and Dean take all the time you need. You're family."

"Thank you, Ellen." I smiled. "I'm going to go talk to him."

She nodded and I got up, walking over to him. Sam had his concerned face on as he kept glancing at his brother. Dean's beer was untouched in front of him. I leaned against the counter next to him, meeting his eyes. He did a double take before smiling at me. He turned in the chair. I put my hands on the sides of his head, moving between his legs, putting my forehead against his. He closed his eyes. I did the same, taking a deep breath. He always smelled so good. When I opened my eyes his were still closed and his brows were furrowed. I placed a kiss on his forehead before kissing him deeply.

"Come on, let's go get some privacy." I told him.

He nodded as I took his hand, leading him to a room in the back. I closed the door behind us. He walked to the window, crossing his arms as he looked out. I walked up behind him, putting my hands on his biceps. I kissed the back of his neck, bringing myself against him.

"We're going to be okay." I told him. He simply nodded. "Honey, I know you've been through a lot. I know that but you can't disappear on me. I need you right now." I said making him face me. "Dean, I know that you've been carrying a lot. I know that but right now I need you to help me make this all right. We just lost our baby. I need you to talk to me. We haven't talked about it very much and I don't think that's healthy. I don't want it to end in some sort of breakup because we can't handle it."

"You think we're going to breakup?" He frowned at me, panic in his voice.

"No, no, of course not. I'm just saying…" I told him.

"Okay, good, because if I lost you now I wouldn't be able to take it." He said pulling me into him. He hugged me so tight. I closed my eyes trying not to cry. "I know we haven't talked but I can't handle talking about it. After dad and then Sammy and now this…" He said and looked at me. "We're going to be okay. But for the first time in my life I thought I was going to be a father and I was excited about it."

"I know you were, baby." I told him. "I was too."

"I know, I know." He said nodding. "But what is there to say?" He asked. "We didn't have anything for him and it would have been a bad idea to have a baby anyway. With what we do." He said justifying it. "Besides, I was away from you for far too long." He smiled and kissed me sweetly before getting serious again. "What's done is done. Maybe it was supposed to turn out this way."

"You don't believe in fate." I stated.

"No, not really." He said with a small smile. "But with this I'm willing to believe."

"Back to normal then?" I asked him.

"As soon as you've healed, yeah." He smiled and kissed me again.

"Want to do me a favor?" I smiled back at him. He nodded. "Hold me for a while?"

He smiled and pulled me toward the bed. I crawled onto it, as he moved behind me. He pulled me into his arms, resting his head against mine. Neither of us were tired but I loved being in his arms. It was comforting. He ran his fingers up and down my arm. We weren't there twenty minutes when there was a knock on the door. Dean got up and opened the door to see Sam. Sam smiled at me and I returned it, grabbing a pillow to hug since I knew it meant that Dean was leaving the room. Dean came back long enough to kiss me before leaving the room. I stared at the door as I hugged the pillow to my body. I had the sudden urge to cry but no tears came. My hand found my stomach and I gently messaged the area, remembering just a week ago that my baby was still alive. My dream had stayed with me as well. Though I wasn't sure if it was actually a dream or if it was a vision of some sort. Either way, I had a child and he ended up dying. It was a bad omen and it made me want to do everything but get pregnant again. I couldn't bear to lose another child. Especially after it was born. I closed my eyes and even though I wasn't tired, I fell into an uneasy sleep.

(BREAK)

The sun shown through the window, waking me in the early morning. I opened my eyes to see Dean in a chair at the window. I slowly got up, walking over to him, wrapping my arms around his neck as I kissed his cheek.

"Morning." He smiled.

"Morning." I said kissing his cheek again.

"Did you sleep well?" He asked.

"Not as well as I would have hoped but well enough." I said sitting in the chair next to him. "Did you get any sleep?" I asked him.

"A little." He replied.

"Honey, you need to get more sleep." I told him.

"I'm fine." He told me.

"No, you're not." I stated. "Come on. It's early. There is still plenty of time to sleep." I said grabbing his arm. He didn't get up. "Dean, I mean it." I told him with as much authority in my voice as I could. He sighed and got up. "Thank you." I said leading him back to the bed. I lay slightly propped up on some pillows pulling him against me so that his head rested against my chest. I wrapped my arms around him, resting my chin on the top of his head. "You need to sleep." I told him gently.

"I can't. All I have is nightmares." He told me.

"I'm right here. You have nothing to be afraid of." I said kissing his hair. "Go to sleep. I won't leave you." He nodded and shut his eyes.

"Want to do me a favor?" He asked.

"Of course." I whispered to him.

"Will you sing to me?" He asked.

I smiled, still surprised that such a ritual had come about. Neither of us were great singers but it didn't matter if it helped each other. I didn't know what song would work best here knowing only a few really soft songs. I settled for Lifehouse's _Breathing._ Soon I heard his deep breathing as he drifted off to sleep. I hummed to him long after he was asleep but I was afraid that if I stopped he'd wake up. He was so tired. It wasn't fair for him to bear all these burdens. He didn't understand that I could help him carry them. He needs me just as much as I needed him, but being a man he was too stubborn to ask for help. But I knew him well enough to know when he needed to be pushed and forced to take a step back and take my help. Dean was still sleeping when there was a knock on the door. I ignored it hoping that whoever it was would just go away. I wasn't lucky enough for that. There was another knock before Sam opened the door. I shook my head at him.

"Sorry, but I think I have a job." He told me.

"Now's not a good time." I whispered to him.

"Sorry, but I think we should take this." He told me.

I felt Dean move and I glared at Sam. "Sammy?" Dean said sitting up.

"Hey, sorry, but I think we have job." He told his brother.

"No, Sam." I told him getting up.

"Baby, it's fine." Dean said standing next to me. "What's the job?" He asked.

"Possible shapeshifter." Sam told him.

"Possible?" I frowned at him crossing my arms.

"The murders are consistent with other shapeshifters we've dealt with." He told me.

I just glared at him. Sam wouldn't meet my eyes. "Okay." Dean said. He pulled me to him, kissing me lightly. "I'm going to grab a shower before we go."

"All right." I smiled and kissed him again before he walked away. As soon as he was in the bathroom I grabbed Sam's arm and pulled him into the hallway. "Sam, what is wrong with you? I told you 'no'. He's not ready for a job right now and neither am I." I told him harshly.

"This is our job, Evy." Sam said a little on the cold side. "Would you let more people die because Dean's a little tired?"

"Dean's not just a little tired. He's _exhausted_." I told him. "He was asleep for less then a few hours. He needs to rest."

"He can rest after this is done." Sam retorted.

"And what about me, Sam?" I frowned at him. "I just lost my baby. Do you think I need to rest?"

"If you're so worried about yourself you can sit this one out." Sam replied.

"What is wrong with you?" I asked him.

"Nothing. I'm just interested in saving a few lives." He told me and walked away.

I glared after him. He was being too pushy. He didn't understand what his brother was going through. He was trying too hard to save everyone and it just wasn't possible. I went back into the room to hear the shower still on. I locked the door before getting undressed and going into the bathroom. When I pulled the curtain back Dean had his hands against the wall underneath the showerhead just letting the water flow over him. I stepped in and gently ran my fingers down his back. He straightened and I moved against him, my lips caressing his skin across his shoulder blades. He turned in my arms before taking my head in his hands kissing me fiercely. He pulled me tighter against him as he kissed me harder. He turned me underneath the water as his hands moved over my body. Mine moved over his, gripping him anywhere my hands fell. Soon the shower was forgotten as he carried me from the shower to the bed. His lips moved over my body from head to toe. He kissed my lips, biting it gently. I gripped him as he slid inside of me. I yelled out as he rocked against me. He was being more forceful then usual but I would give him what he needed and if this was it I would endure.

We dressed awkwardly after the sex was over. He was distant and detached and I was a little unsure of what to do. He'd never been like this before. I went back into the bathroom to tend to my incision and when I went back out he looked up at me with wet eyes.

"Dean, what is it?" I asked him, pain in my voice. "I can't help you if you don't tell me what's wrong." I said going to him.

"This is what's wrong." He said putting the tips of his fingers on my incision. "This shouldn't have happened. This is my fault."

"No it's not." I told him forcefully.

"You losing the baby is my fault, everything that's happening to Sam is my fault, Dad dying is my fault…" He said and paused. "Everything is my fault."

"Don't you think that." I said kneeling in front of him, taking his head in my hands. "None of it is your fault. Things happen, Dean. We all know that. But none of it is your fault." I told him as tears came to my eyes. "Do you understand me?" He nodded. I sighed and let him go, sitting back on my heels. "We shouldn't be doing this job. You're not ready. You've been through too much and you need to rest. Just like I need to rest. My body is still recovering from what I lost. Your mind needs the same rest. I'm going to kill Sam for even bringing it up." I told him angrily. "He's acting strange." I told him.

"What do you mean?" Dean frowned.

"I confronted him about this hunt. I told him that you weren't ready. That you needed to rest. He just told me that you could rest after it was done." I told him. "He was almost cold about it. Something is wrong and it's just beginning to be too much."

"I know." He said pulling me against him. "But we're going to deal with it together."

"Promise?" I asked him. "You like to take it all on yourself. I can help carry whatever burdens you have. You know that right?"

"I know." He said and kissed me tenderly. "Sorry about that sex we just had."

"You're apologizing for sex?" I grinned at him.

He gave a short laugh. "You know what I mean. I wasn't myself." He said averting my eyes.

"I know. But you needed it and I'll give you anything you need." I said kissing him again.

"We should probably go before Sam comes back." He said standing.

"He needs to drop a few pegs." I told him.

"He's just trying to be anything but what dad thinks he was going to become." Dean defended.

"I know. But he's not acting like Sam anymore." I replied.

"He'll be okay. If we're okay, then he'll be okay." He said and led me from the room.

(BREAK)

"Are you sure it's here?" I asked Sam as we went into a house in a nice looking neighborhood.

"Yes I'm sure." Sam replied harshly.

I glared up at him. I was going to keep my mouth shut but I couldn't anymore. "When this is over you and I need to have a serious talk about your attitude." I told him. "You have fallen far Sam and I'm not taking your shit anymore."

"There is nothing wrong with my attitude." He shot back. "Just because I want to get the job done."

"There's a difference, Sam. You're not acting like yourself. It's starting to make me think that what your dad said is right." I said harshly and moved ahead of him.

Dean was in the lead and I quickly took his hand. He looked at me and smiled. I couldn't help but feel the sadness in my eyes and he could see it. He put his arm across my shoulders, bringing me to him, kissing me deeply. I rested my cheek against his shoulder before moving away from him as we circled the house. Inside we could see the shifter cutting meat in the kitchen. It was such a normal thing to be doing. I felt a twinge of guilt and tried to push it away but was having trouble. Sam was the first to barge in at the front door. Dean burst through the back while I broke the glass to the patio. We entered but the shifter was ready. The knife was in hand. He charged me first but Dean intercepted. He knocked the knife out of the shifters hands but was hit hard. He went down before the shifter brought a potted plant down on his head. I yelled out and he charged me again. I managed to move under his arm. I grabbed the knife from the floor and sliced it across the shifters back. I was thrown back as the shifter hit me. It hurt like hell and I felt a rip in my stomach. I looked down to see the split in my incision. Instead of pain I felt anger. I rushed the shifter as Sam struggled to un-jam his gun. I slammed into the shifter but it flipped me midair, bringing me down onto my back. The air was knocked out of me. The shifter grabbed the knife and was about to bring it down on me when the sound of gun shots put him down. It was a relief as I slowly got to my feet. I attempted to catch my breath as I struggled to get to Dean. I fell to my knees next to him.

"Dean…" I pushed out as I ran my fingers through his hair.

"Is he okay?" Sam asked coming over to me.

"This is your fucking fault!" I screamed at him. "What the hell is your problem?"

"Evy…" He said sadly.

"I am so sick of this, Sam!" I yelled. "I just lost my baby and you're making it far too easy for me to lose my fiancé!"

Tears started to flow. I covered my eyes while I placed my other on Dean's back. I was shaking, unable to control myself.

"Evy…" He said putting his hands on my arms.

"Get off of me!" I yelled pulling away from him.

He just grabbed my arms and pulled me away from Dean, me yelling all the while. He dropped me on the couch and went to his brother. I paced behind him, watching through tear filled eyes as Sam tended to his brother. I was tense and feeling panicked. When Dean started to come to I knelt next to him. He pushed himself back onto his heels and I quickly wrapped my arms around his neck, crying into him. He rested against me. I took his head in my hands, just looking at him.

"Are you okay?" I finally asked him. He nodded. "We should get you looked at anyway." I told him.

"Baby, I'm fine." He told me as I helped him to his feet.

"You told me you'd listen the next time I told you we should go to the hospital." I reminded him.

"I'm sure you've told me that before today." He frowned.

"Yes, but it carries over to every time I tell you." I told him sternly.

He looked at me and a small smile crossed it. "Fine." He told me.

"Thank you." I said taking his hand in mine.

He leaned against me as we walked to the car. It only confirmed the fact that something might be wrong. I took the drivers seat and sped off to the hospital. I rushed him in and due to my frantic and incessant badgering of the receptionist we were seen quickly.

"No." I told Sam as a nurse forced Dean to sit in a wheel chair. "You're staying here."

"What? No." He frowned at me.

"This is your fault. You're staying here. I'll come and get you." I told him and went after Dean.

I stood at Dean's side as the doctor looked him over. It didn't take long for the doctor to diagnose a minor concussion. Only after some test results came back a frown crossed the docs face. I frowned and took Dean's hand. He didn't seem to be phased but I was feeling panicked.

"We're going to admit you for the night." The doctor told us.

"What? Why?" I asked him.

"There's just a couple levels here I'm a little worried about." He told me with an unconcerned tone. "Have you been taking care of yourself?" He asked Dean. "Sleeping well, proper diet…?"

"Yeah." Dean told him.

"No." I said quickly before frowning at Dean.

"No?" The doctor said looking at me.

"We've been traveling and he hasn't been sleeping very well. He's been under a lot of stress. We recently lost our baby which has put a lot on both of us." I tried to explain without saying too much.

The doctor nodded before frowning, moving to me. "Did you know you're bleeding?" The doctor asked as he moved my shirt.

"What?" Dean said leaning over the edge of the bed.

"It's fine." I told Dean, pushing him back. "I'm fine. I just popped a few stitches."

"Evy…" Dean said as his eyes grew wet.

"It's fine." I told him, tears coming to my eyes. Emotions were running very high at the moment.

"Sit down." The doctor told me.

I did, looking at Dean. He was staring at the ceiling. A moment later two nurses came in. One he told to get a suture kit while the other proceeded to get Dean into a gown and put an IV into his hand. The doctor numbed my stomach before re-suturing my incision. When he was done I stood and sat on the edge of Dean's bed. I took his hand in mine and he closed his eyes. The doctor stood on the other side, writing in Dean's chart.

"You never said why you were admitting him." I stated.

"He's dehydrated and, to put it bluntly, exhausted." He told me. "The IV will hydrate him and stabilize his electrolyte levels. He can sleep through the night. Tomorrow, if he promises to take it easy, I'll release him."

"Okay." I nodded. I looked back at Dean. His eyes were shut but I knew he wasn't sleeping.

"Make sure he rests." He told me and left.

I leaned forward and kissed Dean's forehead. He opened his eyes and met mine. I smiled but couldn't hide the tears in them. He nodded and put his hand on my face. I closed my eyes, putting my hand over his.

"I'm really liking your laying low plan." I smiled opening my eyes.

He gave a short laugh. "I don't think Sam is going to go for that."

"I don't care." I frowned. "I know that we need to find yellow-eyes and kill him once and for all. I know that we need to find out what Sam's purpose is in all of this. I know all of that but it's not worth your life." I told him.

"I'm fine." He told me.

"You're not fine." I told him sadly, tears in my eyes again. "You've just been admitted to the hospital. You're not fine."

He sighed as he took my hands in his. "I will be." He finally said.

"You just need to rest." I said leaning forward, kissing his forehead again. He put his hand on my cheek before kissing me deeply. "Sleep." I told him softly.

He nodded and closed his eyes though there was still a frown on his face. I caressed his face and his chest, humming lightly to him until he was asleep. I made sure he was deeply asleep before gently putting his hand down. I took a deep breath as I walked to the waiting room. Sam was pacing, nervously glancing down the hall. He did a double take as I came closer. He frowned worriedly and waited for me to reach him. I stayed back a few steps, crossing my arms as I faced him.

"How is he?" He asked me.

"He's exhausted, literally." I told him coldly. "He's been admitted due to exhaustion. Plus he's dehydrated with a minor concussion. He hasn't been taking care of himself because of all the pressure he's been under."

"You're making it sound like it's my fault." He told me.

"It is your fault. You may not have any control over it but it is your fault. Whatever is inside of you that your father was afraid of is making Dean go beyond his limitations. You're his brother and he loves you, but whether you mean to or not you're asking too much of him. He's been through too much and you keep putting more on him. I _told_ you he wasn't ready for another job but you wouldn't listen to me. We're in the hospital _again_ because you wouldn't listen to me. When are you going to get it through your head that we need to take a step back? We need to lay low like Dean suggested. You're immune to a demon disease and I get that you want to keep fighting. You want to fight for answers and to avenge your father but you're doing it at your brother's expense. I refuse to stand by and watch him take the fall for you." I finished.

He just looked at me and shook his head. "You know…" He said and paused. "You keep pointing fingers at me but you should also be pointing them at yourself. It's not just me who has something inside of them. You have the same power I do and that means that you too have whatever my father was afraid of. You were dead so he didn't have to worry about you. But now that you're back you are just as much a threat as I am." He said coldly, pointing a finger at me. I was taken aback. I honestly hadn't even thought of my place in all of this. "You brought yellow-eyes down on top of us. And when you got pregnant you have no idea the pressure you put on him. He did everything in his power to keep you safe and then you were hurt and the baby killed. He didn't want to let you down so he did anything and everything he could to keep you safe. This is on you just as much as it's on me." He said and took a step back.

I felt tears well and I nodded. "Yeah, you're probably right. But I'm not the one who's dragging him into dangers way. I'm trying to keep both of us out of it. I have no control over you. But he's my future husband and I will do whatever it takes to take care of him." I told him and turned away from him.

"I wanna see him." Sam told me.

"I'll come get you when he's awake." I said without stopping or looking at him.

(BREAK)

It wasn't until the following afternoon that Dean finally opened his eyes. There was an immediate difference in him. I had fallen asleep in a chair but when I woke up he was watching me. I smiled and went to the bed, sitting on the edge of it. He quickly pulled my face to his, kissing me passionately. I smiled and ran my fingers through his hair.

"You look better." I smiled at him.

"I feel better." He smiled back.

"So what lesson did we learn this time?" I asked with a raised brow.

"Drink more water?" He grinned.

I laughed and shook my head at him. My expression soon turned serious. "You need to take better care of yourself. I can only do so much." I told him.

"I'm fine." He told me.

"Dean, baby, please." I told him sadly. "I want you for forever, not lose you when you run yourself into the ground. You need to take better care of yourself. You can guarantee that I'm going to be monitoring you more closely."

"Monitoring me?" He grinned.

I smiled and shook my head. "You know what I mean."

"I know." He said taking my hands in his. "I'll do better."

"Promise?"

"Promise."

We talked only a short while longer before I went to get Sam. I was still upset with him but couldn't keep the brothers apart for long. I listened as they made small talk with their sarcasm and jokes but wasn't ready to let Sam off the hook just yet. Things had to be different. I wanted to know just as much as he did what was going on and to kill Azazel once and for all. But I wanted Dean more then all of that and would do everything in my power to protect him. But after Dean, Sam was my biggest concern and even though he was on my shit list at the moment there was nothing I wouldn't do for him. He was my second concern but until Dean was fully rested Sam would have to wait.


	25. Love and Hate

_**Chapter Twenty-five: Love and Hate**_

The sun had been set for quite some time. I stood at the window of the motel room, staring out into the rain. It had been raining for three days straight now. Flood warnings were everywhere but we were stuck here in New Orleans to take care of a string of vengeful spirits. It seemed just when we finished one another one appeared. We thought that it could have been due to the disturbance of several graveyards in the area. The flooding had caused several coffins and mausoleums to rise or float off. It was getting ridiculous but it was our job. I ran my fingers through my hair, hearing someone shift behind me. I turned to see Sam swinging his legs out of bed. I looked at him only a moment before returning my eyes to the rain. He stood and joined me at the window. He rubbed his face, clearing his throat as he looked out the window.

"Can't sleep?" He asked.

"Obviously not." I told him unfeelingly. He frowned down at me. I sighed and shook my head. "I just have a lot on my mind. I don't like all this rain either."

"Yeah, it's been falling for a while now." He told me. I remained silent. "Listen, I know you're not very happy with me right now. I know that, but I'm going to do better. Listen to you and Dean."

I looked at him, softening a little. "I understand why you feel the need to save everyone. I know what your dad was afraid of. So I understand and I'm afraid too. Whatever he thought would happen to you is going to happen to me too. I'm almost positive of that. It makes sense." I told him.

"You're stronger then I am." He told me sadly.

"Maybe, but we're in this together." I replied reassuringly. "All three of us."

"Yeah." Sam said pulling me against him.

"I love you, Sammy." I told him sadly. "I don't want to fight."

"Me neither. I love you too." He said kissing my hair.

I closed my eyes and hugged him tighter. He did the same only then I felt his body tense. I frowned and opened my eyes. I looked up at him but he was staring out the window. I followed his gaze. Out in the rain was a man. A man with distinct yellow eyes.

"Sammy?" I said as I stared at the demon.

"Yeah?" He replied.

"Should we move?" I asked.

"No." He replied and quickly pulled the shades.

* * *

The rain had yet to subside and we were stuck in the room. So far we were job free and the rain seemed to be keeping the crazies at bay. Sam and I were preoccupied. We hadn't told Dean yet but he was clearly suspicious. He hadn't brought it up yet but Sam and I didn't want to change that by arguing about the demon that had caused all this trouble to begin with. Not only that but in my opinion Dean wasn't yet a hundred percent. If the final battle between us and him was getting closer then he would need his strength. We all would.

"So are you two going to tell me what's going on?" Dean finally asked when the silence became unbearable.

"It's nothing." I told him with a small smile.

"You're lying." He frowned with a concerned voice.

Thunder cracked overhead and the lights flickered. I wasn't worried per say, but I was definitely sick of the rain.

"You'd never tell it was midday." Sam stated as he looked out the window.

"You're avoiding the question." Dean replied hotly. "Since when am I the sheltered one?" He frowned.

"Since you don't have the power of premonition." I stated softly.

"What's going on?" He asked me, concern drenching his words.

"Yellow-eyes is back. We saw him last night." I told him. His jaw tightened and he was about to say something but I stopped him. "We didn't talk. There was no contact. He was standing a few yards from the room just watching us. We closed the blinds and that was it." I told him. "That's all of it. We're not hiding anything."

"But you didn't want to tell me." He stated.

"No." I said setting aside my notebook. "I don't want to worry you. All we do is worry and this is one thing more along with everything else that you can't control." I told him as gently as I could. "This is something Sam and I have to do. As much as I've been putting the blame on Sam, as much as I wish it was all on him, it's not. It's on me too. I have the same gift that he does."

"But you two are different." He said even though it wasn't very convincing.

"Yes, we're different. I'm me and he's him. But that doesn't mean we're different enough. I see things. Sam sees things. He's moved things before and so have I. The demon is behind his power and he's behind mine too. We are the same. As much as you don't want to believe it. Whatever your dad was afraid of. Whatever he thought might take over Sam. There is a good reason to believe that the same thing could happen to me." I told him.

"No." Dean said standing. I could hear the pain in his voice. I knew he didn't want to hear it but he needed to. "Don't talk like that." He said leaning against the back of a chair.

I sighed and stood, going to him. I made him face me. "Hey, I know that this is hard. I know that none of this makes sense. But I love you and if anything should happen I know that you will come through. You are my lover and my best friend. I love you so much. I'm tethered to you now and forever. As long as I'm with you nothing will happen to me. Nothing will happen to Sam while you're looking out for him." I said putting my hand on his cheek. "You're the heart of our little unit." I said smiling. He just gave me a small smile and shook his head. "Yeah, you may be tough but what I said is true." I smiled and kissed him gently.

The smile left his face and he looked at me sadly. "You're wrong." He told me. I frowned at him. "Everything happens to you when you're with me. We lost our baby because you were with me. I cause you pain. Maybe because I love you too much." He said taking a strand of my hair in his fingers.

"That's not possible." I told him, running my fingers down his face. He just looked at me sadly. "And you don't cause me pain. Life is pain. What we do causes pain. It has nothing to do with you. If my memory is right I've caused you just as much pain."

"You never have without good reason." He told me.

"You're justifying." I stated.

"Yeah I am." He said with a small smile.

"Stop justifying, you don't need to. We've all been blaming ourselves and each other far too much. Sam, will you agree to lay low just for a few weeks? If we hear anything big we'll take care of it but I really feel the need to take a step back. We're not cowards but we're not stupid either. We need to be cautious." I told him. "Azazel isn't playing any games anymore. We're in the fight for our lives." I said and looked at Dean. He simply nodded. "Sam?" I asked looking at him.

He just looked at me for several moments before nodding, "Fine."

"Good." I said and sat on the edge of the bed.

I fell backward, closing my eyes. The bed shifted as Dean laid next to me. He rested his head on my stomach. I put one arm around him, running my fingers through his hair with the other. Marissa's threat stood out in my mind and this was putting me far too much on edge. I kept my eyes closed my mind working though the options. Marissa had said that he wouldn't seek us out, yet here he was. He was after something. He was here for a reason and that terrified me.

"What is it?" Dean asked me.

"Hm?" I said looking at him.

"Your pulse is racing." He replied.

"It's nothing." I said closing my eyes again.

He moved up and ran his fingers through my hair, turning my face toward him. I opened my eyes, meeting his. "It's not nothing."

"It's just yellow-eyes. He's got me on edge." I told him.

"You know we're going to beat him, right?" He asked with a frown.

I nodded, kissing him gently. "But sometimes it feels like it'll be our last fight."

"No, not for us." He told me.

"What about Sam?" I whispered to him. He frowned and looked down. I kissed his forehead. "I'm sorry. We're all going to be fine."

"I hope so." He said and forced a smile for me.

I kissed him deeply and was about to forget our worries for the night when a child crying caught my ears. I stopped and turned my head toward the door. It had stopped. "Did you hear that?" I asked him.

"Hear what?" He frowned at me.

I got up and walked toward the door. I looked through the peep whole but couldn't see anything. "It was a child crying." I said turning to Dean.

"What?" He asked moving next to me. Sam looked out the window.

"I heard a child crying." I said crossing my arms.

"Are you sure?" Dean asked.

I frowned at him. "Yes I'm –" I was cut off when the crying started again. I looked at the door. "Can't you hear it?" I asked softly.

"Yeah I can." Dean said stepping next to me.

"There's a little boy." Sam said going to the door.

I already had it open. I rushed out into the rain. The little boy was maybe three. He was crying at the top of his lungs even though the rain was nearly overpowering him. I ran to him, scooping him up into my arms. I quickly looked him over while Dean and Sam watched. He was only in a diaper. His skin was cold.

"Are you okay?" I asked him. His crying diminished slightly as he wrapped his arms around me. "Come on, let's get him inside." I said and went toward the room. "Okay…" I said brining him into the bathroom. He was drenched. I took a warm rag and wiped him clean. "Come on, let's get you warm." I told him as I took him to the bed. I wrapped him in a blanket and gently rubbed him.

"Who would just leave him there?" Dean asked disgust in his voice.

"I don't know." I told him. "We don't know what happened. Maybe his parents are looking for him because he wandered off."

"You don't believe that." He frowned at me.

I kept my eyes on the boy answering, "No." Dean and Sam paced while I sat with the boy on the bed. "We should get him something to eat." I said looking at Dean.

"I'll be back." Dean nodded and quickly left the room.

Sam stood at the window while I watched the boy scribble on paper with a pen. He had calmed down but every once in a while he would look at me and the sadness I could see in his eyes were like nothing I had ever seen before. I never left his side, my hand caressing his back while he drew. I gently pulled my fingers through his long, blond, baby locks and felt the tears well in my eyes. My hand found my stomach and my sadness returned. Not for this boy but for mine. I was longing for my lost baby. Knowing that this could have been mine and Dean's child, not one found in the pouring rain. When Dean returned I tried putting on my brave face but he seemed to know the second our eyes met. He just stared at me for a moment. Our eyes meeting. We didn't have to say anything. It was all already there. Sam was looking at us with a worried expression. Dean broke eye contact and set the paper bag on the table.

"Uh, I didn't know what to get so I got a lot of things. I'm no good at judging size so I guessed on the diapers." He said starting to unpack the bag.

I ran my hand down the back of the child's head before standing and going to Dean. I grinned at him as he kept pulling things out of the bag. He handed me an outfit that he had bought. A blue plaid shirt with a pair of adorable jeans, socks, and the cutest little tennis shoes I'd ever seen. Smiling at him, I kissed him deeply before putting the clothes on the boy, before turning back to Dean.

"I got applesauce. Kids like applesauce right?" He asked me with a worried expression.

I smiled at him, "Yes."

"Okay, good." He said and kept going. "So I've got diapers, some cans of baby food to go with the applesauce. I grabbed a coloring book and crayons. I have a few toys that looked like fun. There's a blanket and a stuffed animal. Kids like bears don't they?" He said the worried look still on his face.

I smiled and kissed him deeply. "You're perfect you know that?" He just gave me his wonderful crooked smile. "You would have made an excellent father." He smiled sadly and kissed me. "You did real good."

"I hope so." He said and brought the teddy bear over to the boy. "Hey, do you like bears?" He asked him softly. The little boy took the bear and held it against him. "There you go." Dean smiled. He stepped back to me and ran his fingers through his hair. "Do we take him in?" He asked.

I took a deep breath and looked back at the boy. "Yeah, we probably should. We'll wait till morning." I said and looked at him. He nodded. "I love you." I told him putting my hand on his cheek.

"Love you too." He said and kissed me gently.

He put his arms around me. I moved in front of him. He put his chin over my shoulder, pulling me against him, my back meeting his body. Together we watched the boy. Sam had given him the coloring book and he was much happier with the crayons. The bear was still clutched in one of his hands. I sighed and rested my head against Dean's. Sam moved from the boy to the window. He had a frown on his face.

"Sam?" I asked looking at him.

"What's that noise?" He asked quietly.

I frowned and went to his side at the window. I looked out, seeing nothing. I turned to see Dean step up to the boy. He just stood and watched him color. Telling him that he was doing a good job. I heard an odd noise and turned back to the window. Sam's breathing had picked up and mine caught as I looked at a wall of water coming toward us.

"Oh God…" I said and turned. "Get into the bathroom!" I yelled at Dean as I grabbed the boy. Sam was right behind me.

"What is it?" Dean asked.

"Go!" I yelled pushing him.

We ran into the bathroom. I handed the boy to Dean as I closed and locked the door. There was a small window that would have to be big enough to get us out. It faced the opposite direction as the coming water. I went to it, breaking the glass. I pushed the screen out and put a towel over the sill to keep us from being cut.

"Sam, go." I told him.

"You first." He replied.

"Don't argue with me just do it!" I yelled at him.

"All right." He said and clambered through the window.

"Now you." I told Dean.

"No, Evy, you go." He told me.

"Go." I told him sternly as I took the boy from his arms. "Please." I said when he didn't move.

He kissed me as he went to the window. The water had hit the hotel. We heard it break through the window and it was slowly coming underneath the door. I turned in time to see Dean slip through the window. I slowly put the boy through, holding him by his arm until Dean told me to let go. I looked at the rising water a moment longer before scrambling to get out the window. The water was already past the tub. I was just about free when my shirt caught on a shard of glass. I struggled against it but it wasn't tearing. Dean was with me a moment later. The water was nearly to his waist and he was looking up at me. Sam had the boy and was moving to higher ground.

"Dean…" I said as my panic grew.

"It's all right. Just stay calm." He told me.

"I don't like drowning." I told him and even I could hear the hysteria creeping into my voice. I yanked on my shirt but it still wouldn't give and I didn't have enough room to pull hard enough. "Son of a bitch." I said and slipped back into the room.

"No! Evy! Don't go back in!" Dean yelled at me.

"I'm fine!" I yelled to him.

My shirt came loose when I went back in and I quickly broke the shard that had caught me and I scrambled out of the window again. I fell out of the window, landing on top of Dean. We fell into the water before finding our footing. Sam was making for a roof top, climbing on top of cars. Dean and I quickly followed. When we made it to the roof Sam had claimed sanctuary, I took the boy from his arms, holding him against me. He wasn't crying. He seemed too much at ease with what was going on. He looked up at me and smiled. I smiled back, thinking that it was gratefulness. Just then there was a crack and a branch came tumbling toward us. We moved to get out of the way but it took out my legs as I went to move away and I found myself sliding down the roof, the boy still in my arms. I felt my pants snag on the branch and I was pulled under. The boy had been forced from my arms when we hit the water but he was still with me. He was still smiling at me. It hadn't occurred to me once before now but it was clear as to what he was. He had lured us in and now I was paying for it. I quickly ignored the child and pulled myself down to my foot, trying to unhook myself. It wasn't working and my lungs were beginning to burn. A moment later Dean was there and he quickly cut me free. He turned in search of the boy but I grabbed him and we swam to the surface. The air was delicious when I took it in. Dean grabbed me and helped me back up onto the roof. Sam pulled me away from the edge before helping his brother. Dean took me in his arms.

"You know you're not supposed to do that." He told me with a smile.

I smiled and kissed him. "Sorry." I told him before getting serious. "He's a water spirit." I told him.

"What?" He frowned.

"The boy is a water spirit. He has to be. He kept smiling at me and when we were in the water he was still smiling at me. He hovered in the water and continued to breath. He is definitely a water spirit." I explained.

"Great." He told me.

"It can be looked at as a death omen or of something that is going to come to pass. Telling us that one of us is going to drown tonight."

"Where's the boy?" Sam asked.

"He's the bad guy." Dean said looking at him.

Sam just looked at us. I shrugged and nodded. "Figures, huh?" I smiled at him.

He just smiled and shook his head. "Let's keep moving." He told us.

I looked at Dean and he nodded. I sighed and moved behind Sam as we made our way over the nearest rooftops.

* * *

The rain seemed to have picked up when we lost the boy. We sat crouched underneath the biggest tree we could find, still atop a roof. We sat huddled, Dean's arms around me. Night had fallen and with only the moon as light we could start to see things floating in the water. First it was cars and trees. Then it was bodies and possessions. The water was still rising every minute. The boy was causing it but we were pretty sure he wouldn't show himself again unless he was coming for one of us.

"I am so sick of the rain." I groaned.

"Well get used to it, baby. This is all we get until we figure out how to get rid of the spirit." Dean told me.

"That was very comforting." I frowned at him. He smiled and kissed me deeply. "But I think I might have a theory about how to get rid of him."

"How?" Sam asked.

"I actually read something in Dad's journal about things like this." I told them.

"And?" Dean said with raised brows.

"And, with women in white, to get rid of them you avenge their death. Or, with you two, bring them back to their greatest moment of pain. Or whatever." I told them. "But in Dad's journal he mentioned a water spirit by the name of Rusalka. They can appear as children whose mothers had killed them, some by drowning."

"So he's just seeking revenge." Sam stated.

"Then why did he pick us?" Dean asked.

"Maybe he thinks it's my fault our baby was killed. Demons tend to know what's happened whether they're actually told or not." I replied.

Dean shook his head as he ran his fingers through my hair. "No, it wasn't your fault." He said softly.

"But he's a child. He's doesn't understand that." I told him.

"Do you remember how to get rid of it?" Sam asked.

"Just give me a few minutes and I'll be able to think of it." I told him putting my head in my hands. I closed my eyes and attempted to go through John's words in my head. I could see the page. I could see the words and slowly it was coming back to me. It was right on the tip of my tongue when the wind started to pick up. I opened my eyes and looked at the sky. The wind started to send the water swirling into the air. "Guys…" I said watching the water. "I think it's time to move." I said and ran across the spine of the rooftop, launching myself onto the one next door. The men were two steps behind me. But the water was following us. I looked over my shoulder to see the water moving toward us. It was getting closer when the memory I needed came to me. I stopped and turned. "Sam! Do you have a rosary on you?" I asked him.

"What?" He replied.

"And do you know the incantation to make Holy water?" I asked. "Because I don't remember."

They were just looking at me. I was frowning at them when cracking was heard as lighting struck the tree next to us. I covered my head but heard my name called. A moment later I was being pushed before there was rolling and water. When I opened my eyes I couldn't tell which way was up or down. I tried to see which way looked lighter but there was nothing. The current was moving quickly and my side hit the mirror of a car that was caught under the water. I used it to push myself up and then I broke the surface. I looked around but Dean and Sam weren't there. Panic immediately coursed through me.

"Dean!" I yelled. "Dean, where are you?" But there was nothing. "Sammy?"

The current was moving me. I tried fighting against it. I tried to stay where I was. They were here somewhere. I didn't feel Dean or Sam fall with me. They could still be on a nearby rooftop. The wind and rain would overpower any call that was made but I would find them. They would be all right. I swam to the nearest house and tried to pull myself up onto it. It was futile. Instead I started to climb the branches of a nearby tree. I jumped to the roof once I was high enough and searched the water. I couldn't see them. Tears were threatening. I was about to let them fall when I heard a small laughter. I turned to see the child standing just a matter of feet in front of me. He looked pleased with himself. I walked toward him and was just about there when he was grabbed from behind. It was Sam. I smiled and ran forward. Sam threw the boy at me. I caught him, holding him tightly against me. Sam quickly pulled out a rosary and spoke Latin before dropping it into the water.

"Here…" He said reaching for the boy.

"Do you know what you're doing?" I asked him.

"You told me how so let me do it." He said and took the boy. "Trust me." He said looking at me before he slid into the water.

"Sam!" I screamed as I watched him disappear underneath the surface. "Sam!"

"Evy!" I heard my name being called.

I froze and listened. My name was called again and I looked up to see Dean on the roof across the road. "Dean!" I yelled over to him.

"Where's Sam?" He asked.

"In the water!" I called back.

"What?" Dean said but I could barely hear him.

"Get over here!" I called.

"How?" He said holding out his arms.

I shook my head as tears started to flow. I bowed my head and tried to push it all away. I looked into the water and for a moment Sam broke the surface. I slid down to the rain gutter, ready to grab him. He reached up for me but was pulled down before we touched. I yelled his name. I did the only thing I could think of. He had done it for me once. I dropped from the roof, willingly submerging myself in the water. I swam down; if he was dragged he'd be there. Only instead of Sam, I found the boy. His eyes were shut and he was simply floating in the water. I just looked at him a moment before he seemed to disintegrate. His body fading, being taken away with the current. With it the current slowed. I broke the surface. The wind had subsided and the first rays of sun shown through. I looked for Dean on the roof but he was gone. I went back under but Sam still wasn't there. I broke the surface and watched as Dean appeared on a beat up pontoon.

"Did you find him?" Dean asked.

I shook my head, "No." The tears were about to return when something caught my eye. "Oh God…" I said and swam as fast as I could. His hand was barely visible among the branches and debris that was covering him. "Sam!" I yelled pulling him free of the debris. I pulled him against me and turned back to the boat. Dean was watching in horror. His eyes locked on his brother. Dean took him from my arms and pulled him up onto the boat. I pulled myself up and quickly crawled to Sam's side.

"Evy, he's not breathing." Dean told me.

"I know." I said without looking at him. I bent forward and gave Sam two breaths, giving him two more before looking at Dean. "Baby, you need to do compressions for me." I told him quickly. His eyes remained locked on Sam's face. I bent and gave him two breaths. "Dean, you need to focus." I told him. I gave Sam two more breaths before I started to compress his chest. I breathed into him before, once again, compressing his chest. "Dean!" I yelled taking his face in my hand. He jerked and looked at me. "Help me." I told him sternly and gave Sam two more breaths.

Dean nodded and put his hands on his brother's chest. I breathed while Dean compressed. I had never had to do this so long before. It was something I had never wanted to do again. But we weren't going to let Sam go. No matter what he did or what happened. He was our Sammy…he was Dean's Sammy. He would be okay.


	26. Trapped

_**Chapter Twenty-six: Trapped**_

The wind was strong as I stood on the rocks. The water spraying me as the waves broke against them. The air was warm making it easy to stay. The sun was setting and after what had happened I needed to see even the smallest good in the world. Only a few moments had passed when the tears started to flow and the sobs broke out of me like the waves on the rocks. I sat down, leaning against a rock. The water was washing up against me but I didn't care. For the first time in a long time I wanted to feel the water. I needed to feel it. When the sobs stopped and the tears slowed I stood and faced the world again. I walked to the nearest payphone and made my call.

"Where have you been?" Dean yelled into the phone.

The tears came faster again. "I don't know. I don't even know where I am." I chocked out.

"What?" He asked softly.

"I've been losing time." I replied.

He heaved a heavy sigh. "You're not the only one."

"What are you talking about?" I frowned.

"Just get back to me. Twin Lakes, Iowa." He told me.

"Okay. I'll be there as soon as I can." I told him and hung up.

I was more then a thousand miles away. I needed to get back as soon as I could. I did the only thing I knew to be able to get there as fast as possible. It was too easy to get the car unlocked and to tap the wires that started the engine. Soon I was on the road, driving too fast across country to my man who was very pissed at me.

When I found the hotel I could see Dean pacing through the window. I smiled as I watched him. I couldn't help myself. Even though he was looking rather worried he was still the most handsome man I had ever seen. I took a deep breath as I got out of the car. I went through my story in my head. Just in case. There wasn't much to tell. I remembered our last hunt. I remembered being in the hotel room. I remembered falling asleep next to Dean before waking up near the ocean. Between then and now I had no recollection of what had happened. I could have done anything between then and now. I just didn't want to argue with him.

"Hi." I smiled sheepishly when I walked through the door.

Dean just moved to me, pulling me into his arms. I wrapped my arms around him burying my face in his neck. "Don't do that again." He told me softly. I nodded as tears fell. "What happened?"

"I don't know." I told him composing myself. "I fell asleep next to you and then woke up next to the ocean. How long was I gone?" I asked him.

"Nearly a week." He replied.

I nodded, looking at Sam sleeping, and walked past him. I sat on the edge of the bed and gently pulled my fingers through Sam's hair. I put my hand on his back and closed my eyes. Tears still threatening. "When did he get back?" I whispered before leaning forward, placing a kiss on the back of his head. I stood and faced Dean again.

"A few hours before you called." Dean replied. I nodded. "What the hell is going on, Evy?" He asked with a scared and confused tone. "First Sam disappears and then you. It's scaring me."

I nodded and walked up to him, putting my arms around him. "I know. I'm sorry. I'm just so tired." I said quietly, my tone sad.

He sighed and ran his hand down my hair. He placed a kiss there before gently pulling me away from him. "Come on, baby." He said leading me toward the bathroom.

He was gentle as he helped me from my clothes. Wiping the dirt from my body with a warm, wet washcloth. He pressed his lips between my shoulder blades, placing a long kiss against my skin. His fingers ran along my skin as he moved in front of me. I sat on the counter and he moved between my legs. He gripped my thighs gently before his lips found mine, kissing me deeply and sweetly. He took off the button-up he was wearing and helped me slip into it. I pushed my arms through before placing my hands on his chest. I gripped his shirt and pulled him even closer to me, kissing him again. He smiled as I undid his belt. Happily opening them up. He pulled me from the counter and leaned me against the wall. Pressing against me as I pulled the shirt up. I felt him harden and didn't want anything else but to be one with him. I kissed him deeply as he rocked against me. He took a step back from the wall and slowly lowered me to the ground. It lasted only a few minutes longer. When we finally stood I smiled at him. A secret hope that some time soon we might make a baby again. I ran my fingers down his face before turning and slowly opening the door. His hand found the small of my back as we walked toward the bed. He lingered at the end of his brother's bed. Watching him as he slept. I took it one step further and, once again, sat on the edge of the bed. I ran my fingers through his hair and placed another kiss on the back of his head. I lingered only a moment longer. He looked so peaceful and neither I nor Dean had let what happened go. It was close, too close. I kissed his head once more before joining Dean in bed. I faced him, caressing his face. He smiled and kissed me deeply before closing his eyes. I placed a kiss on his forehead before doing the same.

* * *

When the sun touched my face I finally opened my eyes. I frowned and rolled over, seeing Dean watching me. I smiled and put my hand on his face. He gave me a worried look as his fingertips traced the lines of my face. I leaned forward and kissed him gently. When my face moved away from his, his eyes were closed and his brows furrowed. Something was eating at him. Something was wrong and he was having a hard time coming to terms with it. I frowned at him. He opened his eyes. Seeing the worry on my face he smiled and kissed my forehead before getting out of bed. I sat up, holding the sheet against me. I looked over at Sam who was still asleep. I looked out the window seeing that the sun was barely up. It was still early. I grabbed Dean's shirt and slipped into it before following him as he went into the bathroom.

"What is it?" I asked as I closed the door behind me.

"Something is wrong." He told me. "You and Sam disappearing without any memory of it? What does that mean?" He asked.

"I don't know." I told him.

"You don't remember anything?" He asked.

"No." I replied but there were a few feelings I could recollect. But they weren't anything good, and I didn't want to worry him further.

"I'll have to keep a closer watch on you two." Dean said looking at the ground.

"How are you going to do that, Dean?" I asked him, a hint of anger entering my tone unintentionally. "Huh? How?" I said but he didn't reply. "You're tired, Dean. I can see that. You promised you'd take better care of yourself." I reminded him. "Sam and I are going to have some issues the closer we get to the demon. We're having a similar problem but you can't keep tabs on both of us all the time. I wish you could but you can't." I told him. He nodded, but even though I couldn't see his face I knew the painful expression he was wearing. I sighed and went to him, taking his head in my hands. "Look at me." I said softly. He did and he gently touched my face. I smiled and kissed him deeply. "I know this scares you. It scares me too. But right now we need to focus on finding out what we can here. If Sam called you from here then there has to be something in this town. He wouldn't show up here without a reason. Especially if the demon has something to do with it. Whether it's actually him or another." I told him.

"You're right." Dean nodded.

"I know I'm right." I smirked at him. He gave a short laugh and kissed me. Despite everything that was going on there was something we had yet to discuss and I was very eager to hear what he had to say about it. "So, on a happier note, when are you going to make me your wife?" I smiled at him.

He smiled and kissed me passionately. "That depends." He replied.

"Depends on what?"

"On what you want."

I smiled and placed a swift kiss on the tip of his nose. "You know what I want." I told him impishly. He grinned and kissed me overpoweringly, wrapping one arm around my neck as the other pinned me to him. When he pulled away it took me longer then a moment to catch my breath.

He grinned and placed several kisses on my neck. "Is it something like this?" He taunted. I could hardly catch my breath and my knees were threatening to buckle. "I think it's safe to say I know what you want." He whispered airily, his lips against my ear.

I couldn't form words. My mouth found his in a fierce kiss that could've lasted forever. His body fit against mine perfectly. I never wanted to let him go. My tongue danced with his as our hands groped each other. I looked him in his eyes and couldn't look away. I knew I loved him; sometimes it surprised me as to how much. All I could think about was him. He was encompassing all of me when there was a knock on the door that made us both jump.

"Do you two have to do that this early in the morning?" Sam's groggy voice came through the door.

Dean and I smiled at each other before straightening ourselves and opening the door. Sam was already crawling back into bed. I pulled on my sweats before crawling onto the bed next to him. "Sorry, Sammy." I told him softly.

"It's fine." He replied though his eyes were shut.

He was on his stomach again. I moved against him, putting my arm around his waist. I kissed the back of his head before resting my head there. "Are you okay?" I asked him.

"No." He replied sadly.

"How can I make it better?" I replied.

"You can't."

"Do you remember anything?" I asked cautiously.

"No, well, feelings but nothing other then that." He said rolling onto his back before his side, facing me.

"Yeah." I replied putting my hand on his face. "What are we going to do?" I asked him.

"I don't know." He replied kissing my forehead. "I wish I knew." I nodded, sighing heavily. "I remember blood." Sam said softly. My eyes moved to Dean instinctively. He was looking through John's journal. I looked back at Sam, waiting. "I washed it off before Dean came but I was covered in blood." He said meeting my eyes.

"It doesn't mean anything, Sammy." I told him reassuringly.

"I feel like I've done something bad." He said sadly.

"We don't know that." I told him as I put my hand on his cheek. He just looked at me worriedly. "We'll figure it out."

He nodded and shut his eyes. I kissed his forehead before getting off the bed. Sitting in the chair across from Dean, I watched him page through the journal.

"Stop looking at me like that." He told me.

"Like what?" I frowned but lowered my eyes.

"Like you won't see me for much longer." He said without looking at me.

"It wasn't saying that." I frowned.

"I know you, Evy. It said that and more." He replied.

"You weren't even looking at me." I countered.

"Like I said, I know you." He replied raising a brow at me.

I frowned but sighed and grabbed a change of clothes before showering. When I came out Sam passed me in the doorway, shutting the door behind him. He was more then upset about what had happened. Dean didn't know about the blood and I had no intention of telling him. He was standing in front of the window. Things were getting complicated, but we didn't know what was going on, leaving the next step clouded. I sighed and stepped next to him.

"It's starting." He told me. I just looked at him. "The end. It's starting isn't it?" He said looking at me.

"No." I said softly as I shook my head. "It's not the end."

"Then how do you explain what's happening?"

"I can't." I told him. "I can't explain it, but I know it's not the end."

"How do you know?" He asked sadly.

"Because you have yet to marry me." I grinned at him. He smiled and took my hand in his. "We have too long a life to live together." He nodded and kissed me tenderly. "We'll figure it out, Dean. I promise."

"I know."

* * *

When I opened my eyes there was a ceiling fan above me. I looked around. I was in a house. I didn't know whose or where the hell I was. There was a vague memory in the back of my mind, telling me something bad had happened. I looked at my hands and there was blood dried on them. I shot out of bed and felt pain in my side. I looked down to see a gun shot wound. It looked to be old, several hours at least. The blood had stopped though it was still gooey to the touch. I quickly felt panicked and rushed to the bathroom. In the mirror I could see the dried blood. It was down my neck, over my shoulder, and along my chest. Some fight had taken place. A fight I didn't remember. I could feel something inside of me. Something that was trying to come out. I leaned against the counter, closing my eyes. I tried to feel my way toward whatever it was. When I looked back in the mirror my eyes were black.

"Holy shit!" I yelled, throwing myself backward.

I felt myself being pulling away from the forefront of my mind. Being nothing more then a conscious being. I was looking at myself but I was no longer in control. I watched myself as the black faded and an evil grin crossed my face. I tried to take back my body but I was pushed farther into myself. I didn't know how to break free. I knew that the possessed could watch from the inside as the demon controlled their body. But I never thought that I would ever have to experience it. I never thought I would be possessed. How did it even get inside? The next moment we were walking from the room. All along the walls down the hall was blood. The main room came into view at the bottom of the stairs. The body lay there. I wanted to scream. Wanted to yell out and do something, but couldn't. I could only watch. The demon took me from the house. The damn thing had a plan. The entire time I tried to find a way out. Find away to break through. Nothing was working. I would just be forced to watch as the demon did whatever the hell it wanted.

We stole a car, driving several hundred miles before the Duluth horizon came into view. I didn't know why we were here. There was nothing here that I could think of that would be of use to a demon. Not if it was after the Winchesters. We stopped at a gas station, pulling up to a car. Getting out, the demon walked up behind the man leaning against it. He heard the footfalls and turned. It was Sam. I was shocked. I tried to reach out to him. Just show him a flicker that it was me. But when he smiled I knew that he was no longer in control. We were stuck inside our bodies, both of us being run by demons. The demon brought me right up to him, kissing him. It was slightly gruesome to feel, even though I had no control over it. He grinned and soon both of us were in his car. The drive was short and we were soon parked in front of a bar. We walked through the door to see Jo wiping down the counter. The shocks kept coming. It made no sense to me. What could they possibly want from a rogue amateur hunter?

"Sorry, we're closing up." Jo said with her back turned to us.

"How 'bout just one for the road?" Sam replied.

"Jo." The demon-me grinned at her.

"Evy…" She said surprised. "You two are about the last people I'd expect to see."

"Can't an old friend stop by?" Demon-me replied.

"Maybe if you were actually an old friend." Jo countered. "Or even a friend at all."

"Oooo that was a harsh one." Demon-me grinned.

We walked toward her, Sam ahead of me. "So can I get a beer?" He asked her.

"Sure, one beer." Jo smiled and went around the counter.

The entire time I was trying to scream loudly enough to be heard. To make just the slightest break in the control the demon had over me. After I had exhausted what was left of me I realized that I had more power then I gave myself credit for. John was afraid of the power both Sam and I possess. I had brought the demon out. Or so I thought. I had touched something and then the demon was there. I tried to find that again. Though as hard as I tried it was no use. The whole while the two demons were talking to Jo. She was completely unaware of what was going on. I feared she wouldn't have a chance to fight before they killed her.

"So how'd you find me?" Jo asked them.

"Well, uh, it's kind of what we do, you know?" Sam replied.

"Speaking of we, where's Dean?" She asked.

I froze when I heard the words. I hadn't thought about it yet. Sam was away from him again. But did he just sneak away or was Dean laying somewhere hurt and alone. I listened intently for an answer but it was too vague to make anything out of it.

"He couldn't make it." Sam replied.

What did he mean by that? Where was he? Was he okay?

"Poor thing's exhausted." Demon-me told her.

"I see." Jo said frowning at me. "I hear you two got engaged."

"Yeah, well, things change." Demon-me replied running a finger down Sam's chest.

I wondered what Sam was thinking about all of this. If he was even aware of it.

"So, what are you two doing here?" Jo asked. "I mean, we didn't exactly part of the best of terms."

"Right. Um…" Sam replied thinking.

It was confused. It didn't know what to say. I hoped it would keep up the conversation long enough for me to figure a way out of here. To bring myself to the surface if only for a moment.

"That's why I'm here." Sam told her. "I kind of-" He started. "I wanted to see if we could square things, you know?" He said putting his jacket on the counter.

"That looks like it hurts." Jo frowned.

The demon inside of me followed her eyes. I saw the swollen brand that was on Sam's arm. I stared at it for as long as I could. It was significant, though I wasn't sure how just yet. I wasn't familiar with the mark.

Sam just looked at her before smiling, "No. No, just…had a run-in with a hot stove." He lied.

Jo nodded and I couldn't believe she was falling for it. We were never close but she knew Sam better then she knew me. She should have been able to pick up that something was off. Something was wrong and she was letting it get right past her.

"So you were saying something about squaring things?" She asked him.

I listened as the demon kept weaving its lie. He even brought John back into it. Making excuses for what had happened so many years ago. He was just spitting out these lies and Jo was eating them up. It was clear that Sam wasn't Sam but Jo couldn't see it. He even had the indecency of accusing her of carrying feelings for Dean. Jo obviously did feel for him. More then I thought but she wasn't going to do anything about it. Especially not with me standing right in front of her, even if it wasn't really me. Jo looked at me and shook her head. I couldn't tell what expression I was making but it made Jo step away for a moment before coming back. Sam told her that he cared about her, putting his hand on her wrist. This time I felt the grin that crossed my face as my body took a few steps back from the counter. I tried to concentrate but it was difficult. I thought I was making progress when Sam shot up from his seat, pinning Jo against the counter. They struggled, Jo pleading for him to stop. I pressed against my mind the best I could but I couldn't do anything. The next thing I knew I watched as Sam slammed Jo's head against the counter, knocking her out. Sam put her against one of the pillars in the bar as the demon inside of me went to get rope. Sam tied her up while the demon in me kept watch by the door. It didn't seem to care what Sam and Jo were talking about. It was waiting for something else. I ignored everything around me. I ignored it determined to find a way out. I was strong enough to do this. I just had to find away to control my power and push the son of a bitch out of me. The demon looked back at Sam just as the door swung forward knocking it to the ground. It turned and Dean was looking down at me.

"Evy…" Dean said looking at me.

"He hurt me, Dean." The demon cried up to him. "I was about to escape but now you're here." It said standing and putting my arms around his neck. "He hurt me so bad!"

He nodded, running his fingers down my face. He gave me a small smile before he pushed me aside. Sam's demon was doing the same thing. Telling Dean that he needed to kill him. But Dean wasn't about to waste his brother. He didn't have it in him. Dean already knew that something wasn't right. He knew that something was wrong with both of us. He put his gun away and took out a flask. He turned to his brother and threw some of the liquid on him. Sam's body steamed when the holy water touched him. The demon fled. My demon was furious and rushed Dean. He fought with me momentarily before knocked the demon back, dazing it. Dean quickly cut the ropes that bound Jo before going after his brother. I was shocked. He left me here with Jo. He knew that something was wrong. We were going to have to talk about this. He was always blind when it came to me. He should have known that I too was possessed. The demon stood and faced Jo. Jo was looking at it and I realized that Dean didn't just leave me. He left me with a hunter who would be able to handle me. Or, rather, the demon inside of me. Jo rushed the demon and a fight ensued. I knew that Jo wouldn't be able to last long against the demon. I made one final attempt to get out, release myself from my bondage. Jo was scrambling behind the counter, rummaging in her bag. When she faced the demon again she doused it with holy water. I felt my knees hit the floor. I built up all the strength I could and imagined the demon leaving my body. I put all of myself into it. Maybe it was my power, or perhaps that mixed with the holy water, the demon was momentarily weakened and the next thing I knew black smoke was painfully streaming from my mouth. I fell forward, screaming, before looking up at Jo. She was looking at me with a horrified expression.

"Evy…?" She said tentatively.

"Jo." I said slowly getting to my feet. "I am so sorry." I told her. She rushed to me, putting her arms around my neck. I hugged her tightly. I was back. "Are you okay?" I asked her. She nodded. "Okay, we need to find Dean." She nodded again and we left the bar.

I tried his phone but he didn't answer. The pier was quiet. I tried again but there was no answer. I started to run forward. Jo was behind me with the flashlight. We were on the docks now, but everything was still quiet. Jo dialed Dean's number and I heard his ring tone. I looked down and on the boat landing laid Dean.

"Dean!" Jo and I screamed before running down.

I was the first to reach him. I rolled him over. He came to almost immediately and he coughed up a small amount of water. "Dean, are you okay?" I asked him.

"Are you, you?" He asked.

"I'm me." I smiled at him, kissing him deeply. "You're hurt." I said and pulled him to his feet. "Let's take care of you." We went back to the bar. I sat Dean at a table while Jo went to get the first aid kit. "What happened to Sam?" I asked him.

"I don't know. The last thing I remember is him shooting me." He replied.

"They're after hunters." I told him.

"I know." Dean replied sadly taking a shot of whiskey.

"Bobby's the closest." I stated sadly.

"I know." He stated. He put his hand on my face. I smiled at him. "Are you okay? How did you get the demon out?"

"I'm okay." I said and kissed him, avoiding his other question.

"Evy, how did you get it out?" He asked again.

"I'm not entirely sure. Jo used holy water on me and I was trying to use whatever power I have to push it out of me. If it was me or the combination or if it just gave up, I don't know, but it left me." I told him, explaining it the best I could. He was looking at me sadly. "I've moved things before. I thought I'd try and save myself."

"You did good." He told me as Jo returned.

Little was said as I worked on Dean. Jo wanted to help but only one could work on him at a time. I don't think Jo fully realized that I was conscious of everything that had been going on. That I knew how she felt about Dean, but it didn't matter. I had claimed him and he was mine to take care of. For better or for worse.

It wasn't the first time I'd taken a bullet out of one of us and I had little trouble digging the one out of his left shoulder. It was one of the worst of his gunshot wounds but he would survive. I put a bandage on and he was on his feet as soon as it was secure. I was on my feet next to him.

"Where to next?" Jo asked.

"South Dakota." I told her.

"All right, let's go." Jo told us.

"You're not coming." I told her. Dean nodded at my side.

She put up a small fight but in the end there was no swaying either me or Dean. We couldn't risk her. She gave us some pain meds to help with Dean's shoulder but then we were out the door. We were in a stolen car on our way to try and save both Sam and Bobby.

"So you knew you were possessed?" Dean asked me.

I looked at him sadly. "Yes."

"How?"

"It was the second time I woke up somewhere weird." I explained. "I could feel it inside of me. I've killed hunters, Dean." I told him.

"It wasn't you." He told me.

"I know it wasn't." I nodded. "But it was still my body and I don't know if there were cameras or anything. What if someone sees it and they track me down?"

"We'll deal with it." Dean said taking my hand.

I nodded at him. "Anyway, I tried to feel out the feeling and instead I saw black eyes in the mirror and the next thing I knew I wasn't in control anymore. I had to watch as all this shit went down and I had no control over it." He sighed and nodded. "Sam's going to be okay. If I'm okay, Sam will be too." I told him reassuringly.

"God I hope so." Dean replied.

We had tried calling Bobby only to find that the lines had been cut. Sam was already there when we arrived but Bobby wasn't to be trifled with and he had already given Sam a dose of holy water and knocked him unconscious. So now Sam was tied to a chair underneath a devils trap. When he came to he seemed surprised to see Dean. He was a smart-ass of a demon. He knew that he had control while in Sam. Dean wouldn't hurt his brother. All we had to do was exercise him. Only that didn't go as planned either. We started the exorcism and it appeared to be working. Sam was panting and yelling like he should have been. Up until he started to laugh. He laughed at Dean. I stood and listened as the demon denied wanting Sam for the master plan that yellow-eyes had for him. I frowned and once Bobby started reading again the exorcism didn't work. Sam started to speak Latin and soon the fire blew from the fireplace and the devils trap broke in the ceiling. The mark on his arm was a binding link, keeping the demon inside of Sam's body. Sam was free now. First Bobby was thrown, then Dean, then he looked at me as he pulled himself free of the ropes.

"Welcome back, Evy." He grinned at me, pulling me into a hard kiss. He bit my lip, drinking from the wound he had caused. I pushed him away from me, wiping the blood from my chin. "Sorry we can't chat." He said and hit me hard. My head hit the wall, sending me unconscious.

* * *

When I came to I was laying on Bobby's couch. Dean was icing his face while Sam looked at him sympathetically. Bobby noticed me first. He brought me a cup of water as I sat up.

"How you feeling?" Bobby asked putting a hand on my head.

"I've been better." I frowned at him, gently touching my lip.

"You have quite a bump on the back of your head." He told me.

"I hate being knocked out." I stated whiningly as I leaned back against the couch. I looked at Dean and frowned. "You okay?" I asked him.

"I'll live." He replied.

"Sam? Are you back?" I asked. He nodded. "Good." I said and shut my eyes.

"Here…" Dean said dropping the ice pack he had had on his face onto my head.

"Thanks." I smiled at him.

He kissed my forehead before sitting down next to me. The phone rang and Bobby left briefly before coming back with a slightly concerned look on his face.

"What is it Bobby?" Sam asked.

"You boys ever hear of a hunter named Steve Wandel?" Bobby asked.

"Why do you ask?" Dean countered.

"Just heard from a friend. Wandel's dead. Murdered in his own house." He replied. Dean and Sam looked like they knew something but I was clueless. "You wouldn't know anything about that?" Bobby asked.

"No sir. Never heard of the guy." Dean told him.

"Dean." Sam said softly.

"Good. Keep it that way." Bobby told us. "Wandel's buddies are looking for someone or something to string up. They're not gonna slow down to listen to reason. You understand what I'm saying?" He said looking at Dean.

Dean just looked at him before saying, "We better hit the road." He stood and looked at Sam. "If, uh, you can remember where we parked the car." Sam stood and appeared to remember.

"Here, take these." Bobby said giving all three of us a charm that will fend off possession. "That demon's still out there. This'll stop it from getting back up in you."

"That sounds vaguely dirty, but thanks." Dean told him. I hit him lightly with a frown.

"You're welcome." Bobby said before looking at us seriously. "You three be careful now."

"You too." Sam smiled and the boys turned to the door.

I lingered momentarily giving Bobby a big hug. "Thank you." I told him.

"You watch out for them." He told me.

"Always do." I smiled before following the boys out.

There was a lot of serious talk in the car. Sam couldn't seem to let it go, the fact that John said Dean might have to kill him. Dean vowed to save his brother and me along with him. But Dean was Dean and he quickly turned from serious to the good-humored guy he was. He laughed and Sam frowned at him.

"What?" Sam asked.

"Dude, you had a girl in you for like a whole week." Dean grinned at him.

I was still confused about what was going on which only made them laugh harder. I scowled in the back seat as we made our way down the road.


	27. Old Rivals

_**Chapter Twenty-seven: Old Rivals**_

The sun lay half risen on the horizon. We had yet to sleep but for now the world was a little safer. Another job down, another ahead of us. But at the moment we were content. I stood with Dean's arms around me. Sam was leaning on the car a few yards back. He was kind enough to give us as much alone time as he could offer. It seemed that as time went on there was less time for each other leaving more time to find Azazel and to kill him. We had yet to find the colt or even have an inkling of its whereabouts. But that wasn't the concern of the day. If I had it my way today would be a day for us. But it never seemed to end in my favor.

"How are you doing today?" Dean asked sweetly over my shoulder.

"I'm good." I smiled, leaning into him.

"Will you do me a favor?" He said softly.

"Yes." I said turning my head to look at him.

He buried his face in my hair and whispered, "Will you marry me today?"

I turned in his arms and looked at him, frowning. "Are you serious?" I asked him. I didn't want to be toyed with when it came to this. Even though I already knew he wasn't toying.

"Of course I am." He frowned back.

My frown curved into a grin and I nodded at him, wrapping my arms around his neck. "I would love to marry you today."

He kissed me deeply before leading me to the car. We got in and we drove to the next town. It was the usual small town. Like many others we had been through before. But on the way into it we saw a small chapel. I grinned at Dean, my excitement becoming overwhelming. I grinned at Sam who just grinned back, shaking his head. When Dean parked the car I was out and running before the men even opened their doors.

"Where are you going?" Dean called.

"To find something to wear!" I yelled back with a grin. "I'll call you!"

I rushed off to find the nearest bridal shop. It took me longer then I had hoped but soon I found the only shop in town. It was small and there wasn't a lot of selection but it would do.

"Hello!" A middle aged woman came rushing over to me, followed by an elderly one.

"Hi." I smiled at them.

"My name is Elsie." Said the middle aged woman. "And this is Marge. What can we do for you?" She said overenthusiastically.

"I'm just looking." I told them as nicely as I could.

I moved through the racks only to have them follow every move I made.

"This one is pretty." Marge told me beaming.

"It's okay." I smiled at her.

"This one is half price and if you'd like I can show you all the ones on sale." Elsie told me with a grin.

"That's very kind of you but I think I'll be all right. Just give me a few minutes to look around. If you don't mind." I said smiling at them with irritation.

The grins stayed on their faces but they backed away from me. I sighed with relief before looking through the racks. I tried on several. Bringing myself to ask for help from the two women. But it was worth it. I slowly found which style I liked and soon I had it narrowed down to three. I was about to pick one when I heard the bell above the door ring. The two women rushed off to see who it was. When movement caught my eye I looked over, only to tense.

"Hi, Evy."

"Annabelle." I said shortly. She looked the same. She was petite with long flowing black hair and a slim build. She was on the ordinary side. Allowing her to hide what she was. But I knew. "What are you doing here?"

"I've been living here. It just so happens that you've once again stopped in my town."

"We're not here for you." I told her. I wasn't happy to see the witch but she had never caused us harm. She had helped me and Dean more then she had hurt.

"I see you and Dean worked it out." She smiled as she stepped toward me.

"Yes we have, quite a while ago." I smiled at her. "We're getting married today." I told her excitedly.

"How extraordinary." She replied with just as much excitement. "Can't pick one?"

"I've got it narrowed down." I told her as I continued to stare at the dresses.

"Try them on. I'll tell you what I think." She smiled kindly.

I just looked at her before nodding with a smile. "Okay."

I tried on all three dresses for her. Walking through the store. Trying to pick out a pair of shoes. I wasn't going to worry about jewelry, and if I had it my way I would have gone barefoot. The shop keepers were nothing but wonderful though they asked too many questions. Annabelle was nicer then me, letting them help and talking to them much more kindly. I was too eager to pick one and call my fiancé. I was too ready to get married. My whole being hummed with the excitement and anticipation of marrying Dean. I loved him so much. It was now or never.

"So?" I asked Annabelle after switching from dress to dress.

"I think that one." Annabelle smiled.

"Really?" I grinned and turned to the mirror.

The dress was anything but glamorous. It was strapless, which would aid in the removing process, with only a slight train in the back. It had simple sequence along the bust and had lines of it going down the sides of the dress. I couldn't help but grin. This was the dress. This was the day. Now all I had to do was return to Dean.

* * *

The dress had been chosen and the chaplain had been called. I had called Dean, telling him to meet me at the chapel in an hour. Annabelle offered to help me get ready. She accepted without hesitation. She was the only woman I had here with me. I wished Katy were here but it would be cruel to try and get her here, though I know she would be unhappy when I told her the news. But I wasn't going to think about that. It was planned and it was happening. That, and Annabelle wasn't so bad. She was definitely getting a tally on the side of 'allies'.

I was thoroughly excited as we walked toward the chapel. We were talking enthusiastically. She asked about Dean and me and I couldn't help but tell her. We rounded a corner and my eyes immediately caught a familiar figure in front of me. I froze and Annabelle stopped, frowning at me. A second later I shoved my bags into her arms and ran as fast as I could.

"Riley!" I yelled as I pursued him.

He was only a few yards in front of me. I picked up my pace, knowing that I could outrun him. He skidded around a corner and when I followed he was gone. I kept going, searching the area, but there was no sign of him. Panic started to seep into me. There were only two reasons he would be here. He was either following me, or he was here on yellow-eyes' orders.

"What is it?" Annabelle asked as she finally caught up with me.

"An enemy is here." I stated as my eyes scanned every nook and cranny.

"Who?" She asked.

I looked at her before back at the town. I sighed and turned back toward the chapel. "He was a friend who went and joined yellow-eyes. He's betrayed us all. He put Dean in the hospital, passed on information. He's the son of a bitch that brought me back from the dead with no memories." I said and looked at her. "His name is Riley Newberry."

As we walked I told her what I knew about him. She had been trustworthy enough and if she lent me a hex bag or two I could live with that. She was interested in what I had to say. Maybe a little too interested. When I was done she was quiet. I kept glancing at her but it took her nearly a full ten minutes before she spoke.

"I think I know him." She finally told me.

I stopped and looked at her, frowning. "What do you know?" I asked her.

"Not a lot. I've seen him in passing. I've spoken to him briefly but he left an impression." She told me.

"That he's a nice guy?" I frowned at her but kept moving.

"No, that he was up to something. I didn't like him." She replied.

I looked at her and grinned. "You know Annabelle; we might just get along yet." She smiled and shook her head.

When the chapel came into view I felt nervous. I had to tell Dean and Sam about Riley. It would do nothing if I hid it from them. But I was afraid that Dean would want to call it off. Get out of town and away from him. That would do nothing for us, but I would go with him if he wanted to leave. We were so close though. I didn't want to jeopardize it.

"There you are!" Dean grinned when I came into view.

"Hi baby." I grinned back and kissed him deeply. His lips felt so good against mine. He was in a tux. He looked fantastic. I kissed him again, taking in his taste and his smell. Though it stopped too soon.

"What are you doing here?" Dean frowned at Annabelle.

"It's okay." I smiled at him. "She's more of a friend then a foe." I said and shrugged. "She helped me pick out my wedding dress." I grinned and kissed him again.

"Don't you know its bad luck to see the bride before the wedding?" Sam grinned as he walked up, kissing me on the cheek.

"Hi, Sammy." I smiled as I hugged him.

"Who's this?" Sam smiled at Annabelle.

"This is the witch that Evy and I met a while back." Dean told him.

"Oh." Sam said slightly surprised. "Hi."

"Hi." She said and smiled.

"Listen, we uh…ran into an old friend. Or rather and old rival." I said and looked at Dean. He just frowned. "Riley's in town."

Dean didn't say a word. He left my side. I followed him and watched as he checked the cartridge in his gun before heading toward the entrance.

"No, don't." I told him, grabbing his arm. "You won't be able to find him anyway."

"I can try." He replied reaching for the handle.

"Dean…" I said stopping him again. "Don't." He just looked at me. "We are so close." I whispered to him. "We are so close to it now. I have the dress. You're already in a tux. I want to do this today. I want to marry you." He didn't move but his expression softened. "Please, let it go. Just for today. Let it go."

He sighed and took his hand away. "Okay." He nodded putting his hand on my neck.

"Thank you." I told him with a small smile.

He kissed me and smiled. "Now go get ready." He said and pointed me toward the room I was to use. "Take your time." He smiled sweetly.

"Don't go do anything stupid." I told him as I stepped away from him.

"I'll try." He grinned.

I glared at him before disappeared into the room with Annabelle. She was kind enough to help me into the dress and put my hair back. It was pulled partially back and she pinned it so it looked nice enough to get me though my wedding day. I owed her a lot. More then I thought I ever would.

"Thank you." I told her as we were about to go out.

"You have nothing to thank me for. I owe you." She smiled.

"You do?" I frowned at her.

"Sure, for not killing me on site." She told me.

I laughed. "It wasn't a big deal. You helped me and Dean. It almost fits that you're here today." I smiled at her. "So, in honoring the weirdness of the day…will you stand up there with me?" I asked her.

She grinned from ear to ear. "Yes, I will."

As soon as the words were out I knew that it was time. She grinned and went ahead of me. I took a series of deep breaths as I followed her a few minutes later. I stopped just to the side of the doors, waiting for the music to start. There was no organist; instead Sam hooked up his ipod. The song that was to be played was going to be a surprise to me. That was the way Dean wanted it. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes, seeing everything that had led me to this moment. I grinned and then the music started to play. At first it didn't seem to be anything special. It was soft and normally I would have listened to it. But right now, all I could see was Dean. It wasn't until the chorus started when I realized what made it special. Why it worked.

_In your wedding dress_

_To have and to hold_

_Even at my best_

_I want to let go_

By that time I was standing in front of Dean, his hand in mine. Sam lowered the music. He was standing next to Dean. Annabelle was standing next to me. As far as weddings went I couldn't picture mine any other way, now that I was standing here. The priest started to talk and I tried to pay attention but I couldn't stop smiling at Dean. He was grinning and he gently rubbed my palm. I couldn't help but giggle and feel my face flush.

"You look beautiful." Dean whispered.

"You look handsome as usual." I whispered back. We stood grinning at each other when the priest cleared his throat. "Sorry." I smiled at him.

He just smiled and continued to speak. It was time for the vows. Dean turned to his brother, taking the ring from his hands. He turned and took my left hand in his. I grinned, my body quivering with excitement. He put the ring just at the tip of my finger. I grinned at him wider, hardly able to contain myself. He grinned back and laughed lightly as he repeated the priest's words. When he had finished the words he smiled once more before moving to put the ring on my finger. It had barely touched it when a shot rang in the church. I felt something hit me and I looked down to see blood splatter on my dress. Below that the ring was spinning on the floor. My heart started to race and I looked at Dean. He was frowning at me. Red starting to seep through his white shirt.

"Your dress…" He frowned before he started to fall.

"Dean!" I yelled, grabbing him.

I couldn't hold him and we both fell. I cradled his head as we hit the floor. Sam was at his side an instant later.

"Dean, baby?" I cried.

"Evy…" Dean chocked out. Blood was running from the corner of his mouth.

"Stay with me." I cried as I rubbed his cheek with my hand. "Please, stay with me."

"Evy…" He said again, fear in his voice.

"I love you." I told him.

"I love…I…" Dean tried to say but he was fading fast.

"Dean, baby, you have to stay with me. You can't die. You can't leave me." I told him. I looked at Sam and behind him I could see a figure in the doorway. I blinked my tears away. Seeing Marissa standing in the doorway. "Sam…" I said and he followed my gaze. He went to move but I stopped him, looking down at Dean. His eye lids were heavy and his breathing was becoming jagged. "Dean? Dean!" He went limp a moment later. "No! Dean!" I screamed but was pulled away.

"Go after her." Annabelle told me. "Leave Dean to me."

Her gaze was serious. I nodded and slipped out of my shoes before running from the chapel. I saw her grinning at me over her shoulder as she walked down the street. I flew after her, the dress flowing behind me. My hair came loose as I ran. I could only imagine what I looked like. She didn't even try to stop. She just waited. I didn't slow when I finally reached her. I tackled her to the ground. I turned her under me and punched her as hard and fast as I could. She took it momentarily before using her power to throw me off of her. She pinned me to an alley wall, walking up to me.

"Why?" I asked her.

"Why?" She grinned back. "Oh, because it was fun. He'll be dead and there will be nothing holding you or Sam back. Sam is more important but torturing you is so much more fun." She replied.

"You should have killed me." I told her as tears ran down my cheeks.

"Do you remember what I told you?" She asked. I didn't say anything. I looked at the sky. She grabbed me by the cheeks and forced me to look at her. "I meant every word of it."

"Now Dean's dead. Doesn't that screw up your little plan?" I asked her.

"Not in the slightest. It just means you'll be easier to deal with from here on out." She smiled.

"Kill me now." I told her. "Please. It doesn't matter anymore."

She grinned but before she could decide what she was going to do shots rang in the alley and I was released. Marissa ran as Sam rushed to my side.

"Evy…" He said looking at me with red eyes.

"Is he dead?" I asked him.

He didn't say anything. I stood, pushing him away as he tried to embrace me. I started to run again. I ran back to the church. I froze in the entrance. At the alter I could see Annabelle kneeling at his side. I started to walk forward before I ran. I knelt next to him. He was breathing, but it was shallow. I looked at Annabelle but she had anything but a hopeful look on her face.

"He's alive." She told me softly. I sighed with relief as I continuously ran my fingers down his face. "I managed to keep him alive but…" She said and stopped.

My head jerked toward her. "But what?" I asked her.

"I wasn't able to keep his soul in his body." She told me.

"What?" I frowned at her.

"I managed to save his body but not his soul. He'll remain like this until we can get it back."

"Get it back?" I asked shaking my head as I closed my eyes. Things like this aren't supposed to be possible.

She sighed and put her hand on my arm. "I know this is hard. I can't even imagine what you're going through. But he knows. You need to find him."

"How?" I asked airily.

"I have a spell. One to bring you to him. Another to get both your soul and his back here." She told me.

"I have to leave my body?" I asked. She nodded.

It took me only a moment to nod at her. "Do it."

"I'll need a few hours to get what we need. Get him to the hospital. I healed his wound but he'll need to have medical attention to keep his body alive." She told me.

I nodded as Sam stopped next to us. "Is he…?" He asked. He couldn't get the words out any better then I could.

"He's alive." I told him. "We have to get him to the hospital."

He nodded and pulled Dean over his shoulder. I helped him get him into the car before we sped to the ER doors. There were questions that we answered the best we could. The wound was healed but he was unconscious and there was still blood on his shirt. I didn't know what to tell them but seeing me in my wedding dress and the state I was in, they weren't going to argue. They rushed him away but it didn't take long for them to come get me and Sam. The doctor led us to his room.

"How is he?" I asked.

"As far as we can tell he's okay. We'll know more when he wakes up." She replied before excusing herself.

I nodded before turning away from the room. Sam quickly followed me. "Where are you going?" He asked.

"Stay and watch over him." I told him.

He grabbed my arm, forcing me to face him. "Tell me what's going on." He whispered harshly. "Something is going on that you're not telling me."

"This one time I need to ask you to just trust me. I'm taking care of it. If you need anything call Annabelle. I won't be able to be reached for a while." I told him before pulling away.

He said my name but I ignored him. I didn't know what was going to happen and I didn't want him to worry. Annabelle had done her magic. Now it was up to me. I would save Dean. Even if it was the last thing I did.


	28. Where The Dead Go

_**Chapter Twenty-eight: Where the Dead Go**_

The room was dark, being lit with only candles. In Annabelle's bedroom, I watched and waited as she prepared for what we were about to do. I was going to do something completely crazy. Not that that was surprising. I would do anything for Dean. Anything I had to do to keep him safe. To keep him alive.

A ring of some salt was on the floor. A pillow and an essence bowl inside of it. I didn't ask questions. All I needed to know was how to get to him and how to get back. Anything else was irrelevant. I watched as we wrote something down and handed it to me.

"It should transfer with you. But just in case I suggest you memorize it." She told me. "It's the spell you need to get your soul and Dean's back into your bodies."

I nodded and read it repeatedly. Trying to memorize it as fast as I could. Annabelle motioned me forward, having me lay down inside of the circle. She sat next to me, closing her eyes, tilting her head back. A breeze moved through the room. I noticed her lips moving but no sound was coming from them. When she opened them she took a deep breath before looking down at me.

"It's time." She said softly. "Are you ready?"

"Yes." I told her. "But go over again with me. Just once more."

She nodded. "I'll say the spell. You'll slip deeply into sleep, your soul being sent to where Dean is. Once you find him all you have to do is take his hand and say the spell. It will bring you back to your body. But be careful. I'll protect your body but you'll have to hurry." She told me.

I nodded. "What will happen if it takes a while?" I asked her.

"If something happens here. Wherever you are you'll stay." She told me.

"What if something happens there?"

"You are still connected to your body. Just don't let yourself get into too much trouble."

I nodded and took a deep breath. "Do it." I told her.

"Close your eyes. Think of Dean." She replied.

I nodded, closing my eyes. It wasn't hard to think of Dean. He was all I thought about. He was my world. I held his face firmly in my mind. I heard Annabelle start to chant. I didn't listen to what she was saying. I kept Dean in my mind and a moment later it felt like I was being pulled away from my body. Annabelle's voice drifted away and when the feeling stopped I opened my eyes. I frowned. Instead of Dean's heaven, which was what I expected, I saw darkness. There was a red tint to the world and screaming was heard in the distance. I was in some sort of cave like structure. I moved through the small opening, looking out over what could only be Hell. There were chains with people hanging from them. Screaming or being tortured by what could only be demons. I was halfway up a cliff, a ledge on both sides. I had two ways to take. Only I couldn't imagine Dean being here. Something went wrong. I wasn't supposed to be here. _Dean _wasn't supposed to be here. He didn't deserve Hell.

I chose right, guessing as to what direction to take. I moved quietly and tried not to draw any attention to myself. It turned out that the direction I took was leading me higher up the cliff. I found a nook in the wall and slid inside of it. I didn't know what I was doing and this was not where I wanted to be. As I waited, freaking out, I tried to figure out what I should do. I was supposed to go to Dean. If he was here somewhere I wasn't going to leave until I found him. But I still couldn't believe that Dean would be here. I was still trying to wrap my head about all of this when I noticed the demons climbing. I tried to stay out of sight as I watched. They were crawling over each other, knocking each other down. Some falling from a lack of grip or from a lack of strength. There was no describing them. They seemed to have form but they weren't human. They looked like some sort of beast not of the normal world. But what could you expect from Hell? I could only assume that they were trying to escape. They say only the strong get free and this is what it took. Several started to pass over or right next to my hiding place. When it seemed that they were coming less and less I slowly moved forward. Just when I was about to start moving again a demon moved to enter the crack in the wall. I moved back but it was too late. It yelled out before grabbing me and throwing me out of the hole. I screamed, falling fast. I didn't know what would happen when I hit the bottom and I didn't want to find out. When I did demons started to moved around me. Screams seemed to intensify and before I knew it my wrists and ankles were being skewered with hooks attached to chains. They started to drag me. Dragging me closer to where the screaming was. I myself started to scream. The pain was like nothing I had ever felt before. Blood flowing down my arms. Tears were streaming. I yelled for Dean. Hoping that he was close. If I could get to him I only needed a few seconds before we were out of here. But I didn't hear his voice. I couldn't see him. They were starting to string me up with others. I could hear laughter amongst the screams. The demons taking their pleasure in torturing. I pleaded for them to stop but I knew that they wouldn't. I was going to be doomed to remain in Hell unless I spoke the spell. I could only hope that we would be able to try again. I was just about to say it when the demons yelled out and a moment later I was being removed and carried away. It wasn't until we had stopped and I was taken off of my savior's shoulder that I was able to see who it was.

"John…" I said airily. "How…?"

"What are you doing here?" He asked me angrily.

I didn't reply. I threw my arms around him, hugging him as tightly as I could. I started to sob. I couldn't help it. He held me just as tight, his chin resting on the top of my head. When I finally released him I took his face in my hands, just wanting to look at him. He smiled and kissed my forehead. But then his face grew serious.

"What are you doing here?" He asked me again more calmly.

"I'm looking for Dean." I told him.

"What?" He frowned.

I explained what had happened. I told him of Annabelle and what we had done to get me here. He nodded, believing every word without question. I wouldn't lie and he knew what witches were capable of.

"So what should I do?" I asked him. "If Dean was here you would have known. They would be talking about it."

He nodded. "I don't know why you're here. But it's good to see you." He said with a small smile, putting his hand on my cheek.

"It's good to see you too." I said before putting my arms around his neck. "I've missed you so much."

"I know." He replied holding me tightly. "But now we have to worry about getting you out of here."

"How?" I asked him.

"I don't know." He replied running his fingers through his hair.

It wasn't going to be easy. John could get me through Hell as easily as he could. He had been here for a while now. Nearly a year. I could only imagine how long that had been for him. We moved through Hell until we reached where he had been staying. There was a small amount of papers with a candle for light. I frowned at all of it.

"I didn't think Hell would have paper and candles." I told him.

"Yeah, Hell's an interesting place all right." He replied.

"Sorry." I told him as I looked through the papers. "What is all this?" I asked him.

"Notes." He stated. "And stuff I remembered from my journal. Things I thought might come in handy."

"On climbing your way out?" I asked though I already knew the answer. He just looked at me. "I know why you did it. I'm grateful for what you did. But…John…eternity in Hell?"

"It was for Dean. I deserve this." He told me.

"You know that's not true." I told him harshly as I stepped up to him. "You deserve this as much as I do. You're a good man, John."

He just smiled at me before giving a short laugh. "And what's with this?" He asked motioning at my dress. I never changed out of it.

"Dean and I were about to get married. He was just about to place the ring on my finger when he was shot." I explained, my fingers rubbing where the ring was supposed to be sitting. "We were so close." I said with tears in my eyes.

"I'm so sorry." He replied pulling me against him. "We'll find him."

"God, I hope so. I can't live without him. I just can't." I told him, taking a deep breath. I looked up at him. "We almost made you a grandpa." I smiled at him.

"Really?" He smiled back before a frown crossed his face. "Almost?"

"A lot has happened since you've been gone. I can't even begin to explain everything." I said letting him go. "We should keep moving." I told him.

He nodded before rummaging through his papers. "Do you remember the spell she used to get you here?" He asked.

"No. I wasn't paying attention. I was focusing on Dean and then I ended up here." I told him, feeling rather hopeless. "I have the spell to get back but I don't want to use it unless I have to. I don't know if I'll be able to try again." I told him.

"You can't stay here." He told me. "And there's no time to climb out of Hell."

I nodded and tried to think of another way. "I don't know." I told him. "I don't want to leave him behind if he is here."

"He's not. I would know about it. Just say the spell. You need to get out of here. You'll be able to try again." He replied with a small smile.

"John…" I said looking at him sadly.

"I'll be okay." He told me. "Just go."

"John…" I said again. "I love you." I smiled.

"I love you too." He replied and kissed my forehead. "Now go."

I nodded and took out the spell. It rhymed and the whole bit. It was a mere five lines long and before I knew it I shot up. Annabelle was still sitting next to me.

"We have to try again." I told her.

"What?" She asked. "You didn't find him? What happened?"

"It didn't work. I went to Hell." I told her, standing. I quickly went and got a glass of water. I felt parched beyond belief.

"Hell?" She asked me as she followed.

I guzzled several glasses before nodding at her. "Yes…Hell." I said taking a deep breath. "Was I gone very long?" I asked her.

"Maybe twenty minutes." She asked.

"Huh, felt a lot longer there." I told her.

"What happened?" She asked.

"I ran into John Winchester. He saved me from the racks of Hell." I told her. "I've decided that I don't just hate demons. I loath then with my entire being."

"Jesus…" Annabelle whispered.

"So, can we do it again?" I asked her.

"Yes." She replied. "But I don't know if the result will be any different."

"Let's go over the spell again. Maybe a word is misplaced or we missed a step." I told her as we went back to the bedroom.

"I'll go over it again." She replied.

It took nearly an hour to go over everything again. The more she looked at it the more it seemed that everything was fine. That it just hadn't worked or that Dean really was in Hell. He was too good a person to be in Hell. I was starting to lose faith when Annabelle pressed her palm to her forehead and exhaled sharply. I looked at her, hopeful that she had figured it out. It was too simple to believe. She found one word that was misplaced. One simple little word. It was spelled right but not in the right context for the spell. It could have been just enough to make the spell work a little askew. The paper had to be burned after being read in order to work. It might have been a small enough flaw. I would try anything.

"If this doesn't work can we try something else?" I asked her.

"We'll do whatever we can." Annabelle told me softly.

"Thank you." I said and embraced her before I laid back down.

"You're welcome." She told me sweetly. "Alright, here we go again."

I closed my eyes and held tight to Dean's image in my head. We could repeat the process as many times as we needed to but I could only pray that this time it would work. I didn't want to prolong Dean's unconsciousness. We had things to do. We would kill Marissa as soon as possible. We'd find the colt and kill yellow-eyes. But in order to do any of that I needed Dean. I wouldn't have the strength otherwise.

When the drifting feeling left again I opened my eyes. I was once again in my field. A smile crossed my face when I heard a familiar barking. A moment later Cooper came running into view. I grinned and caught him as he launched himself into my arms. I fell backward holding the dog as he licked my face. I couldn't help but laugh. This time I was in the right place.

"I'm okay." I told my dog and he moved off of me. He whined loudly as he leaned against me. "You're such a good boy." I said stroking his coat.

I spent a short time with him before his ears perked and he started off through the field. Someone was running into view. I grinned, knowing that this time I had found him. Cooper barked and I knew that Dean was here. Dean was one of only two men Cooper liked. I ran forward, the person coming into view. I grinned wider as Dean became clearer. He looked serious when his expression became clear. I didn't care. I ran to him, throwing my arms around his neck. I kissed his lips fiercely. Taking his head in my hands.

"I found you." I told him.

"What are you doing here?" Dean asked me, pain in his eyes. "You didn't…" He started but couldn't finish.

"No, I'm not dead. I just took my soul for a little ride is all." I smiled at him.

"God I love you." He said and kissed me again. "But what are you doing here? I'm dead."

"No, you're not." I told him. "Your body is still alive. It's just your soul that moved on."

"How is that possible?" He asked.

"Annabelle." I told him. "She used her mojo to keep your body alive. She also had a set of spells to get me here and one for me to get _us_ back. Your body is on life support in a hospital at the moment but once your soul is back inside of it you'll wake up."

"Okay." He said with raised brows.

"It's a lot to wrap your head around, I know. I had a little trouble myself. But if there was any chance of saving you it didn't matter." I smiled at him.

"Till death do us part." He smiled.

I laughed and kissed him deeply. "I couldn't let you leave me. Not just yet."

"We've got some hunting to do." He stated.

"We'll worry about that tomorrow. Right now, I want to see your heaven." I smiled.

He grinned and took my hand, leading me back the direction he had come.

* * *

We stayed awhile. Dean's heaven was everything he ever wanted or missed. His heaven was the house he grew up again. I'd been here before. But it had shifted. There were now pictures of us, a bed for Cooper. And he wasn't the only one who was there. Soon Mary walked into the living room with a big smile on her face. It was nice seeing her again. More then that, it was amazing to see Dean interact with his mother. Something he'd wanted since she had passed. She had greeted me like a daughter and made food in the kitchen, despite the fact that none of us needed to eat while in heaven. It was a nice gesture and it gave us the opportunity to talk. Dean had told her of the baby and everything that had happened. She gave me her condolences. I was grateful but that was in the past. There would be children in our future. Or so I hoped.

"I'm sorry that this happened during your wedding." Mary told us.

"Yeah, me too." I smiled running my fingers through Dean's hair. "We were so close."

"It'll happen." He replied but he had an odd expression. I was going to ask him about it when there was a knock on the door. We all frowned before Dean went to get it. "Jim…" I said when they had returned.

"I felt you come back." He smiled at me.

I nodded. "Hi." Was all I could seem to think of to say.

"So this is Jim?" Dean asked leaning against the counter next to me.

"Sorry." I said standing. "Dean, this is Jim. Jim, this is my fiancé Dean."

"Fiancé now?" Jim asked.

"Yes." I smiled.

"Sorry you had to lose two fiancés." Jim told me sadly.

"I didn't." I replied. "I'm here to get him. We're going back."

"How?" Jim frowned.

"Our bodies are still alive. I have a witch helping us. She gave me a spell that will take us back to our bodies. We'll be leaving soon." I told him.

"Oh." He said, sounding a little hurt.

This was awkward. My two fiancés in the same room. One of which was dead and the other nearly dead. Mary was kind enough to break the silence.

"You two should go. There is no reason to stay any longer." She told us with a small smile. "It was wonderful seeing you Dean. Despite the circumstances." She said hugging him tightly.

"You too Mom." He said with tears in his eyes.

I smiled before turning to Jim. "It was good seeing you again." I told him gently.

"Get back safely." He said hugging me briefly.

"Jim, it was a pleasure to finally meet you." Dean said shaking his hand.

"You too." Jim replied. "You better take care of her."

"I will. I promise." Dean said putting his arm around my waist.

"Mary…" I smiled hugging her. "I'm glad you were here."

"Me too. Send my love to Sammy, will you?" She smiled at me.

"Of course." I told her.

"Come on." Dean said taking my hand.

"Okay." I replied squeezing it tightly. "Ready?" I asked him.

"More then ever." He smiled.

I smiled back and said the words again. We were pulled away from his heaven, drifting back into our bodies. I shot awake, still in Annabelle's home. Less then a minute later, Sam called to tell me that Dean was awake. I grinned and passed the news onto Annabelle before we both rushed out the door, swiftly returning to the hospital. Running to Dean's room I saw him sitting up in bed. It took me only a moment longer before I rushed to him, smiling as I kissed him deeply.

"Hi, Baby." He smiled sweetly.

"Hi, Love." I said and kissed him again. "How are you feeling?"

"I feel fine." He said with raised brows. "Normal."

"Good." I said sitting on the bed next to him. "I was scared for a little while there." I told him, taking his hand in mine.

"So was I." He replied squeezing my hand.

"Now we have to find her." I told him. "Her time is up."

"How is all of this possible?" Sam said looking aggravated.

Dean and I frowned at him before I sighed. "I've kept him mainly in the dark." I told Dean.

"Why?" Dean asked.

"Because I was in too big a hurry to get you back to take the time to explain." I replied.

"So what happened?" Sam asked.

"Annabelle helped me with the use of two spells to send my soul to Dean's." I told him. "I was in Heaven and Hell in search of Dean's soul. It was an experience."

"Hell?" Dean frowned at me.

"Yeah. Your dad sends his love." I told them. They both looked at me with shocked expressions. "It was brief. Hell is Hell. It's not fun but he's dealing." They just nodded at me. "Anyway, I found Dean's soul and brought it back with my own." I finished. "Simple as that."

"Simple as that." Sam repeated.

"Yeah." I replied without looking at him. I sighed and stood. "Look, Sammy. I had to do what I had to do. I wasn't going to let Dean die and neither were you."

"But you could have told me." He replied.

"I wasn't in the right frame of mine to tell you." I replied. "Just don't hate me, okay?"

"I could never hate you." He said and hugged me.

"Good." I smiled and kissed his cheek.

"So, when can I get out of here?" Dean complained.

I grinned and fetched the doctor. There was nothing wrong with him so they had no reason to keep him. We were back in the impala before we knew it. Annabelle gave us a place to stay for the night. She disappeared for a while but her home was just like any other. We ordered a pizza and relaxed on the couch until sleep finally took us. In the morning we thanked Annabelle for all she had done. I left her my number, getting hers in return. It seemed that a friendship had formed. It may seem weird to other hunters, but in my mind it was a good thing. She would be helpful in the future if I ever needed her help again. One day I hoped that we wouldn't have to worry about any of this anymore. One day we wouldn't have to worry about demons and all the other supernatural things in the world. One day I would be married to Dean and we would have a normal life together. Even if that means we pass our job down to our kids. But at some point in my life I wanted to have a normal life with him. I didn't want to worry about him dying from anything other then old age. Though I knew that was far to much to ask. There was still Marissa to worry about and she was our first priority now. She had nearly killed him once. It was only fair that we try and do the same.


	29. To Endure Hell

_**Chapter Twenty-nine: To Endure Hell**_

_He was chained by his wrists and his ankles. Blood covering his body. He was screaming for help. His screaming wasn't the only one. There was screaming coming from everywhere. The next thing I knew he was alone with a man standing in front of him. I watched as the man tortured him. Tormenting him in every possible way._

I shot awake, a scream piercing the room. I looked around but I was alone. I fell back against the pillows and tried to control the tears that were streaming down my face. I closed my eyes only to open them a second later. All I could see was his face. The way he looked. The pain that was written on his face. I couldn't take it. I turned on the light to find a note from Dean. They hadn't been gone long and would be at least a couple of hours before they returned. I quickly got up and pulled my journal out, finding the spell Annabelle and I had used for Dean. I had been there once and I could get back there again. I made the preparations and before I knew it I was drifting away.

When I opened my eyes I was once again in Hell. I raced to where he had taken me before but he wasn't there. All his things were gone. I didn't know if he had moved it or if he had been recaptured. I was out of my league here and I didn't know where to turn next. I slipped from the cave and stealthily made my way through his deserted place. I slipped into a hole to get myself out of there when I was grabbed. I turned and looked into the face of Ben.

"Ben…" I said shocked to see him.

"What are you doing here?" He asked me.

His body was still burned and it looked like they had tried to tear him apart. He shoved me into the hole. It was too small for two people to fit comfortably. I just looked at him. As far as I had known he was still alive.

"I could ask you the same thing." I finally told him.

"No." He said pulling me from the hole, dragging me away.

"No, don't do this!" I whispered pleadingly to him.

"I know who you're looking for." He told me and he pushed me behind a boulder.

"How?" I asked him. "And what happened?"

He moved against the wall, pulling me into a crevice. "You're looking for John Winchester. I'm here because I was killed the same day that you saw me last."

"But I didn't kill you." I told him.

"No. Someone else did." He replied. "We don't have time for this." He said and pulled me out.

It seemed like ages before Ben pulled me into a much larger space. Inside Ben pointed out and I could hear the screaming before I saw what he was pointing to. I went to rush out but Ben stopped me.

"Not yet. They've only begun." He told me.

"I have to do something!" I cried as I struggled against him.

"Don't!" Ben said but I pulled away from him.

I didn't think through what I was doing. I barreled into the man who was tearing at John. We both fell to the floor and before I could react, pain seared through my back. I screamed before kicking him. I turned and Ben was running toward us. I ran to John, trying to undo the chains.

"Get out of here." He told me.

"No!" I screamed at him. "I need to free you. I can't let this happen to you."

"You can and you will. This is the price I paid. I can handle this." He told me as I continued to pull on the chains.

"No!" I yelled and fell to my knees crying. My hands were gripping his ankles.

I screamed as pain went through my side. I turned and punched my attacker hard across the jaw. It felt like I had broken my hand. I turned back to John, fighting with the chains.

"Evy, go." He told me.

"I saw this. I saw this happening and I can't let it be. I just can't." I cried putting my hands on the sides of his head.

"You need to let me go. There will me no rest until you do. I am doing this for Dean. I'm okay with this. I'll get myself out. I can promise you that. But now you have to leave." He told me, his eyes pleading with mine.

"I love you, John." I told sadly.

"I love you too."

I turned and grabbed Ben before running back the way we had come. But we were too late to make a safe get away. The demons had been alerted to our presence and we were being rapidly pursued. Ben took me as far as he could before he stopped to face the danger. I turned back to him, to help, but he yelled for me to go on. I quickly thanked him before running, finding the smallest crevice I could to squeeze into and say the spell.

I opened my eyes to the candlelight in the empty room. I cleaned up the mess, feeling the effects my trip had had on my body when my soul came back from Hell. I went back out into the main room and switched on the table light. I sat cross-legged in the center of the bed. I thought a moment before pulling out my sketchbook. I drew all I could remember of my trip and of my vision. It was all a little too much to bear. But the more I thought about it the more I didn't want to tell Dean. He would only worry and scold me. I didn't want to fight. I hated fighting. He would understand my reasons but it would take a lot of agonizing conversation that I just wasn't up for. I rubbed the heavy bruising on my hand. It wasn't broken but it was painful enough. The effort of drawing was all the pain I could handle. When I finally pushed it aside I stood and started to pace. I didn't know what else to do. I couldn't call them and I couldn't sleep. Every time I closed my eyes all I could see was John. Even though he was okay with his decision I couldn't bear to leave him there. It had never sat well with me and it seemed to always come up in some way or another. It was ridiculous to think that there was nothing we could do. With all that we'd seen and done one would think that there would be some way of getting him out of there.

* * *

I was still unsettled when the boys finally came through the door. Sam smiled but Dean frowned at me. I just gave him a weak smile. He took off his jacket and crossed the room to me. I smiled wider as his lips covered mine. He gently caressed my face but gave me that what's-going-on look. I nodded at him, leading him to the door. We walked nearly two blocks before either of us said anything.

"I had a vision." I finally told him.

"About what?" He asked.

"Your dad." I replied though my voice cracked. He took a deep breath and nodded. "I saw him in Hell being tortured. So I went to see him." I told him quickly.

"You what?" He said stopping me.

"I didn't know what else to do. I needed to talk to him again and Annabelle left me everything I needed to do that. So I made another trip to Hell. Only I met someone unexpected while I was there."

"Who?" He asked.

"Ben Jefferson. He was the guy who I met in the club." I reminded him.

"You mean the one who took you hostage and tried to kill you?" He frowned at me.

"Whatever, he's in Hell now so be happy about that. Anyway, I spoke to John briefly but it got a bit hairy so I was forced to leave. Ben helped me." I finished.

"What did he say?" Dean asked as we kept moving.

"The same thing that's been said so many times before." I told him. "He made the right decision. That I shouldn't worry about him because he knew what price he was to pay. I just can't seem to let it sink in."

He nodded and draped his arm across my shoulders. "He'll find his own way out." He said comfortingly.

I smiled and kissed him sweetly. "I know. But I just have such a hard time leaving him there."

"You're not the only one, Baby." He said and kissed me again.

"I know. I'm just letting my feelings overwhelm what I should be concentrating on." I replied.

"Yeah, I've noticed that. But the nice thing about you is that you always come through when needed. _Always._" He grinned and kissed me passionately.

We were on the road again by ten. Once again the road was unknown but something would turn up. There was always an evil to be fought. Hell was a constant thought but I tried to keep it out of my mind. It was harder then I would have liked. Thoughts of how to free him were constantly going through my mind but it was useless. As much as I wished I could save his soul from Hell I had no way of doing it. But like John and the boys had said, he would find a way out. He always did.


	30. Chances Taken

**Disclaimer: I own nothing from Supernatural. **

**A/N: This is the first of the last four chapters of this fanfic. I hope you enjoy them and I hope some of you might even review at the end. This chapter is a long one but is based off one of my favorite episodes. Enjoy!**

* * *

_**Chapter Thirty: Chances Taken**_

I wasn't feeling normal. _Life_ wasn't feeling normal. It seemed that after everything that had happened I was finally starting to feel the long term affects. First was the baby, then the disaster of a wedding, and finally my visit to Hell. It was too much in too short amount of time. The last time I felt like this I ended up abandoning Dean and Sam. I didn't want to leave. It wasn't just that I didn't want to, but I wouldn't. There was too much at stake. Too much needed to happen before we could breathe an ounce of fresh air.

I stood on the balcony, looking out over the city. The lights were bright in the night air. A cool breeze flowing. The tears had started some time before. My throat was sore from keeping every sob silent. I blinked and more tears slid down my cheeks. Gripping the bars of the railing, I slid down onto my knees. I cried as quietly as I could, knowing that Dean could wake at any moment. When they had stopped, I closed my eyes and let the breeze dry my face, feeling the redness from the strain start to diminish. I returned to bed, slowly crawling in, lying on my stomach. I faced away from Dean. His breathing was heavy, telling me I had made it back to bed unnoticed. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. Sleep didn't come easily but in the end my mind finally shut down and allowed me a few moments of rest.

_As first there was only movement on the bed. Then panting could be heard. Soon the two figures appeared. Sam was on top of a nice looking brunette. Then it showed me what they were doing. Showing me things I didn't want to see. Then the scene changed. Sam's cheeks were tearstained as he looked at his brother. Dean's jaw was clenched, looking strong for his brother. As soon as Sam left the room Dean's eyes filled with tears. Moving away from Dean I saw Sam go into the next room. The brunette was standing there. She looked strong but her eyes were full of tears. She nodded and smiled. A moment later Sam raised his gun and shot her._

My eyes shot open. It had been a silent vision. I was about to roll over when Dean's arm draped across my waist. I tensed momentarily before relaxing, lacing my fingers with his. I smiled before shutting my eyes again. We'd discuss what I saw when we were all awake and able to handle it. Sam had pain to look forward to. Vagueness was in order. I didn't want him to know what he would have to go through. I didn't know why he even had to do it. All I knew was that Sam had found someone he cared about. Someone he may even love and she would be taken away from him. He would be alone again. Alone with the pain of another death, a presence that too often followed us.

"You're quiet." Dean stated at the diner.

"Mm-hm." I replied as I moved my eggs around.

"Okay, you're not eating your scrambled eggs. Something is bothering you and you don't want to tell us." He told me.

"Me not eating my eggs told you all that?" I grinned at him. He just smiled and shrugged. "The worst part is you're right." I told him still grinning.

"So, what's up?" Sam asked me.

I looked at him, my smile nearly gone. "It's nothing. I don't know enough to share right now." I replied looking at my eggs.

I felt their eyes on me but I told them enough to keep them quiet. Finishing my eggs, I stood and went to the car. I slid into it and put my hand to my head. I wanted to see more. I needed to know where it was or what supernatural thing we were dealing with. I jumped when the door opened and Dean slid behind the wheel.

"Sorry." Dean told me.

"It's okay." I smiled back.

"Listen, Sam will be a few minutes. Talk quick, since it's obvious that you don't want to tell Sam what it is you saw."

I looked at him and sighed. I nodded and took a deep breath. "Sam's in trouble again. Only I don't know what kind. He meets a girl but he ends up shooting her. I don't know why. All I saw was them together and the two of you standing in the kitchen of a house and then him shooting her." I explained.

Dean nodded before frowning. "What do you mean by 'together'?" He asked.

"The kind when you're _together_ with another person." I said softly.

"Okay gross." Dean said looking out the front of the car.

"Yeah, I saw way more of Sam then I'd like to remember." I told him, remembering far to much of the past.

"Please stop." Dean said pleadingly. "Please." He said looking at me.

"Sorry." I grinned before I frowned at him. "But I'm not sure what's going on."

"We'll figure it out." He told me. "Just don't mention my brother or his nakedness again."

"Done." I told him and smiled.

"Hey, we're heading to San Francisco." Sam said as he threw himself into the back seat. "Several deaths and all of them have missing hearts."

"Alright, lets go." I said and looked at Dean.

When we reached the city we found a hotel and Sam unloaded all of his information. I sat on the bed, against the headboard, trying not to think of my vision. But my need to protect Sam was starting to outweigh everything else.

"This lawyer guy the first heart-free corpse in town?" Dean asked his brother.

"First man. Over the past year, several women have gone missing. Their bodies all washed up later in the bay too deteriorated to draw firm conclusions." Sam replied.

"And none of them had hearts?" I frowned, watching Dean clean his gun. Already preparing. I smirked a little before taking another swig from my beer. It was needed tonight.

"No hearts." Sam confirmed. "They were all hookers working at Hunter's Point. Now cops are trying to keep things under wrap. But they're looking for a serial killer."

"And the lunar cycle?" Dean asked.

"Mm-hm." Sam said downing a good portion of his beer. "Yeah, month after month, all the murders happened in the week leading up to the full moon." Sam stated.

"Which is this week, right?" Dean asked.

"Hence the lawyer."

I frowned and watched as Dean grinned. He stood and grabbed John's journal saying, "Awesome."

"Dean, could you be a bigger geek about this?" Sam smiled at him.

"Yeah." I agreed, moving to the edge of the bed.

"I'm sorry, man, but what about a human by day a freak animal killing machine by moonlight don't you understand? I mean, werewolves are badass. We haven't seen one since we were kids." He replied with a grin. I shook my head at him.

"Okay, sparky, and you know what? After we kill it, we can go to Disneyland." Sam told him patronizingly.

"Sam, knock it off." I said smacking the back of his head.

"Know what the best part about it is?" Dean said with a smile. "We already know how to bring these suckers down. One of these bad boys right to the heart." He said holding up a silver bullet. "So what's our next move?"

"Talk to the girl who found the body." Sam replied.

I nodded and stood, walking to the window. Dean came and stood next to me. I looked at him and frowned, "Why are you so excited about this?"

"Because it's a werewolf. Why aren't you excited about this?" He asked me.

"I would be if there wasn't a chance that one of us could be turned. I don't feel like being bitten and I'd like to keep the two of you around for a while." I replied. I glanced at Sam behind me before meeting Dean's eyes again. "And this could very well be it. That and it's dangerous."

"We've had dangerous before." Dean stated.

"That's not the part I need to be comforted for." I told him.

"I know." He told me, serious now.

The plan now was to go see Madison. She was Nate Mulligan's assistant. She was the one to find him dead in his office. The pieces would fall in line soon enough. All I wanted to know was if she was the same person from my vision.

* * *

I was antsy as we walked through the halls to Madison's apartment. When she opened the door my breath caught. I quickly looked away and glanced at Dean, giving him a subtle nod. He took a deep breath before smiling at her. Sam was already going into the apartment.

"I don't understand. I already gave my statement." Madison said as she led us in.

"Right. Yeah, well, we just need to verify a few things." Sam smiled at her.

I watched Sam's and her body language as I followed behind them. When we went into the living room a man stood from the couch. I frowned and eyed him closely.

"This is my neighbor Glen. Glen this is detective—" Madison said and looked at us.

"Landis." Dean told her. "And Detective Dante. And this is Evy, our assistant."

"Well, guess I'll leave you to it." Glen smiled at Madison. It was clear that he liked her.

"Okay. Thanks for the casserole." Madison grinned at her neighbor.

"Mm-hm." Glen smiled nervously. I frowned as I watched him move to leave.

"Oh, how thoughtful." Dean smiled at him. I frowned at him. His sarcasm was not welcome right now.

"Just call if you need anything." Glen said quickly before leaving.

"He's sweet." Madison smiled after him. "He came over to check on me. Have—have a seat." She told us. I immediately felt empathy toward her. I didn't know why she was going to be killed but I would do everything in my power to help her.

I looked around as the boys played the more professional role. I stayed in the shadows. Though I felt her eyes on me more then once. I went from room to room, checking everything I could without disturbing anything. I came up dry. There was nothing in the apartment that would lead me to believe that she was a werewolf or knew anything about them. When I returned, the boys were just finishing up. I was the first out the door. I went to the car and waited for them to join me, pacing along the sidewalk.

"You're awfully skittish today." Sam told me with furrowed brows.

"She's the woman from my vision." I told him.

"What vision?" Sam frowned.

"The one I had a few days ago." I said looking at him.

"About her?" He asked.

"Yeah. I don't know what she has to do with all of this but, yeah." I told him.

"Okay, I guess we're on the right track then." Sam said matter-of-factly before getting into the car.

"If only he knew." I said quietly to Dean.

"Come on." He said rubbing my arms.

I nodded and got in. When we got back to the hotel they filled me in on Kurt Mueller. He was Madison's ex-boyfriend who had been stalking her. He was as good a lead to follow as any right now. He had been told Madison was involved with Nate. That was enough of a motive to assume he might be involved with what was going on. Especially since both men were connected to Madison. The plan was to go take a look at Kurt's apartment once the sun set. There was still plenty of daylight left and not enough things to do to keep my mind off of what was to come. Passing the time consisted more of pacing and trying to think of how I was going to tell Sam what I saw. I didn't want to tell him. I didn't want to have that on my shoulders. But the damage of telling him might outweigh the cost of keeping it quiet. I didn't want it to play out like I saw. For all I knew that's why we were here, to change it. To make things right. If I could help make Sammy happy it would be one of the best gifts that could be given.

"You look tense." Dean pointed out.

"So do you." I smiled and moved behind him on the bed.

I started to massage the knots out of his back. He groaned a little with a smile. He didn't act like anything was wrong but his stress was written in his muscles. More then once I caught him glancing at his brother. Knowing something about someone that could affect them in ways unknown was agonizing. When Dean leaned forward away from my hands, placing his face in his own, I knew that there was something that needed to be done.

"Let's go for a walk. Unwind a little." I told him softly.

"Yeah." He said and stood.

I went to Sam, hugging him tightly before following Dean out the door. As we walked away I took Dean's hand, squeezing it tight.

"So what are we going to tell him?" Dean asked me.

"I'm thinking we tell him nothing." I replied. Dean just looked at me. "Look, I don't want Sam to get hurt. I love him just as much as you do. So before we tell him anything let's just dig a little deeper. If it's clear that she's involved we'll tell him. We'll change what I saw. But if he has a future with her I want him to have it."

"What future?" Dean frowned.

"What do you mean?" I frowned back.

"What future could he possibly have with her? Would we take her with us? Would she understand what we do?" He asked but kept walking, though his pace was quickened.

"By the time we're done here she'll know what we do." I said trying to keep pace with him. "We don't know what reaction she'll have to all of this. But what if she understands and can handle it? And if she can handle it then do you want to be the one to take that away from him?" I stopped him, looking him in the eye. "You're not answering me."

"No! I mean…I don't know." He said starting to pace a little.

"He's the third wheel." I told him calmly. "If he could find what we have and be able to bring her with us, wouldn't you want that for him?"

"Whatever you saw, did it affect you this much?" He asked. "Did you see any of what you're talking about?"

"No, but I saw the potential for it. They had that look in their eyes." I told him softly.

"What look is that?" He asked, calming down.

"It's one very similar to the one I'm giving you right now." I replied slightly on the sad side.

He sighed and pulled me against him. I put may hand on his chest. He put his forehead against mine before kissing me passionately. I put my hands on the sides of his head. Smiling, I ran my fingers through his hair.

"This is another reason why Sam needs to find himself a girlfriend. I need more alone time with my fiancé." I smiled at him.

He grinned before muffling my speech as he kissed me. His hands moved under my shirt. The feel of his hands against my bare skin always made me hot. I pressed myself tightly against him, unable to get enough of his taste or his smell. If only we weren't in public. I stopped when an older woman passed us and cleared her throat. I released Dean and took a step back. I looked at him and he had heard her too. He grinned and I started laughing. He joined in and we turned back to the room.

"I guess you're right. A little alone time might be nice." He smiled down at me.

I just laughed and moved closer against his side.

* * *

We waited out the day in the room. As soon as the sun set we were on the street and on our way to check out Kurt's place. It took nothing to get into the place. With flashlight in hand we searched for anything that would lead us to believe that he was the werewolf. I stopped and looked at pictures he had of him and Madison. Dean went toward the patio and called us over to him. Outside there were long claw marks scraped down the wall of the balcony. Moments later there was a gun shot. We rushed from the room only to find a bloody mess, leading us to the body of a cop behind a dumpster. His chest was torn open.

"Oh God." I said covering my mouth as I turned away.

"I'll call 911." Sam said and turned away.

"I'd say Kurt's looking more and more like our Cujo." Dean stated.

Sam got a worried look on his face. "Dean, if he's out here, we better check on Madison."

I looked at Sam before looking at Dean with the same expression, only not for the same reason. Dean just sighed and we were on our way to Madison's. As we waited for Madison to answer, Glen opened his door, asking what was going on.

"It's fine Glen. Just checking up on her." I smiled sweetly.

"Did you find something?" He asked.

I sighed and stepped toward him. "We really can't talk about the case with you, Glen." I told him as gently as I could. He just nodded and closed the door. Madison opened the door and we all filed in again.

"Has Kurt been here?" Sam asked her.

"Not exactly." Madison replied.

"What exactly does "not exactly" mean?" Dean asked.

"Well, he was outside last night. Just looking. Just looking at me." A pit fell in my stomach as I watched Dean and Sam look at each other. Madison caught my expression. "Has he done something?"

"We're not really sure." Sam told her. "It's probably nothing. But we just don't want to take any chances. In fact, one of us should probably stay here with you, just in case he stops by. Where does he work?"

"He owns a body shop." Madison replied, though she was slightly confused.

"You mind grabbing that address for us? Thanks."

"I'll stay with her." Dean replied.

"What?" I frowned at him.

"You always get to stay with them." Sam stated.

"That was before me." I added.

"There's only one way to settle this." Dean stated.

I rolled my eyes as they played rock-paper-scissors, "Ridiculous."

I walked toward the door. Madison came back and handed me the address. "So who won?" She smiled.

I gave a short laugh. "I'm pretty sure Sam will be staying with you. Dean doesn't need to be alone with another woman. I already have claim on him." I smiled at her.

She grinned and a moment later Dean was behind me. "Ready to go?" He asked.

I nodded. "Call if you need anything." I told Madison.

"I'm sure we'll be fine." She smiled.

I just laughed and followed Dean out the door. "Are you jealous?" I grinned at him.

"What? No." He said but he had that look and that tone.

"I know what you were like before I came along. You always watched the pretty girls and had sex with them while Sam did all the heavy lifting." I told him, still grinning.

"What?" He said, knowing that it was true.

I laughed as I stepped in front of him, running my hands down his chest. "I'm not judging you. You were someone different before I came. You've changed and I love you for who you are, now and then." I told him, kissing him deeply.

"Yeah, well, I've let a woman whip me." He smiled down at me.

"In more than one way." I said raising a brow at him.

He laughed and kissed me again. "Come on, hot stuff, we got work to do."

* * *

Work was the last thing on our minds. We talked to a few of his coworkers but came up with nothing yet. When a few hours went by and we still didn't have a strong lead we gave in to our other needs. Meaning we had the room to ourselves and alone time was what we wanted. Having sex until the cows came home; and the cows were taking their sweet time.

"We're so naughty." I told Dean as I traced shapes on his muscular, bare chest. "But I just can't get enough of you." I grinned.

Dean grinned back kissing me passionately. "Naughty is just fine with me." He said and ran his fingers down my side. It was gentle and felt wonderful. Sending just enough tingles through my body to make me want to ravage him all over again. "So now what?"

"Don't ask me that." I smiled at him.

"Why not?" He just grinned.

"Because you know what I'll say." I told him with a raised brow.

"And I would have no objections." He said and trailed his lips down my neck.

"I'm ready to go again." I told him, starting to breath hard.

Dean didn't say anything. He just smiled and rolled on top of me.

Once we forced ourselves into clothes, we got to work. I grinned at him while I tried to listen to the guy I had on the phone. We were going down the list of coworkers to find out where he might have gone. I was on the phone with, what was said to be, his closest friend at work. I thanked him, when I finally managed to listen to what he was saying, and hung up.

"Okay, I've got a hit." I told Dean.

"Where we going?" He asked.

"I think I might go alone on his one." I told him.

He frowned, "Why?"

"Well, he's kind of at a stripper bar." I told him.

"So what are we waiting for?" He grinned and headed out the door.

I sighed and followed him. I drove to the bar and Dean got out of the car. It was easy to find Kurt among the men who were inside. Kurt was very much preoccupied with the woman who was dancing in front of him to notice that we were there. Dean sat a few chairs down, already starting to watch. I frowned and whacked him.

"What?" He grinned at me.

"Stop watching her." I told him.

"We're here to be inconspicuous and to watch him. So I'm just doing our job." He told me.

"Would you like me to get up there too then?" I countered. "I know how to dance with a pole."

His smile disappeared and we moved away from the table. I ginned victoriously and followed him. We sat at a small table only a few yards away from Kurt. We watched him until he left and followed him back to his place. We waited in the alley. Kurt had loud music playing.

"This is fun." I told him.

"Yeah, well. This part of the job usually is." He replied.

"You know what I want to do?" I asked and grabbed his ass.

He grinned at me. "I may have an idea."

A second later he had me by the arms. He pushed me against the chain link fence, his lips pressing against mine. His fingers laced with mine as he pinned them against the fence. He paused momentarily and smiled at me. I grinned and was about to kiss him again when there was the sound of glass breaking. We turned and looked up at Kurt's patio. The door was broken. We glanced at each other before darting into the building. We broke into the loft and quickly moved through it. Both of us had our gun at the ready. It was quiet until we went into the living room. Kurt was on the ground. A woman was leaning over him, tearing at him.

"Oh my God." I whispered. The woman stopped and turned. "Madison…"

She stood and quickly rushed us. Dean blocked me. She grabbed him, throwing him back against the wall. She quickly turned on me. She tossed me across the room. I was knocked out almost immediately.

When I came to, Dean was slowly getting to his feet. I pushed myself up from my stomach and attempted to get to my feet. I was too dizzy and leaned back against the wall. He slowly made his way over to me.

"You all right?" He asked sitting next to me.

"I don't know." I told him frowning.

He put his arm around me. "My head's killing me."

"Me too." I said resting my head back against his arm. "What's worse is that what I saw is more then likely going to come true."

"What makes you say that?" Dean asked though his tone only confirmed my fears.

"Because she's the werewolf. There isn't a cure that we know of. I've read a lot about lycanthropy but nothing has ever been proven." I told him sadly. "This means that Sam is going to get hurt. He's going to fight for her and he's going to lose."

Dean sighed and kissed my hair. "He has us. We'll be all right."

"I guess it's time to make the call." I told him.

I sat and listened as Dean told Sam what had happened. Dean had nicked her with a silver knife. When Dean waited for Sam to check on her the call seemed to abruptly end. Sam had seen the proof and now we would have to deal with her. I only hoped that with a little determination we could come up with a solution.

When Dean and I returned to Madison's, Sam had her tied to a chair. It was clear that she had been crying and fear was written all over her face.

"How you doin'? My head feels great, thanks." Dean shot at Madison.

"Dean." I said shortly.

"We gotta talk." Sam whispered to Dean.

I watched them walk into the kitchen. I stood in front of Madison. I shut my eyes, trying to think of what to do. I didn't want to hear what they were saying in there. I wouldn't be able to hold my tongue if they were going to argue about what to do with her.

"Please." Madison said pleadingly. "I'm not what you think I am." I looked at her with all the empathy I had in me. "I don't even know what you're talking about."

"What do you mean?" I asked her. I had witnessed her. "You don't remember what happened?"

"No." She told me as tears fell. "I don't know what you're talking about." She repeated.

"You went to bed and woke up in bed. You don't remember leaving in the middle of the night?"

"No. I went to bed and woke up without my pajamas on but I don't know what happened to them." She told me. "Please. Just let me go."

Tears filled my eyes as I looked at her. "I am so sorry." I told her softly. "I would give anything for it to not be you. But I saw you. You were there."

"Where?" She asked desperately. "I don't know what you're talking about."

I just shook my head, about to brake down when Sam and Dean walked back into the room.

"Madison. When were you mugged?" Sam asked her. She just looked at him. "Please. It's important, all right? Just answer the question."

Madison was very suspicious and scared. But I couldn't blame her for that. I was feeling the same way as I waited for it all to unfold.

"About a month ago." She told him.

"Did you see the guy?" Sam asked.

"No. Grabbed me from behind."

"Did he bite you?"

She looked at him surprised. "How'd you know that?"

"Where?" Sam asked.

"On the back of my neck." She told him.

I met eyes with Dean as Sam put his gun down and walked to Madison. Dean and I followed him and watched as Sam moved the hair from her neck to reveal a scared bite wound.

"Well, that's just a love bite. Believe me that could have been a lot worse. Where were you at the time?" Dean asked her.

"Walking home from a friend's loft."

"Let me guess: Not too far from Hunter's Point?" Sam asked her.

Madison nodded and the brothers went back into the kitchen. It would be hunting again. The lunar cycle was still in effect and the wolf would, more then likely, be out for the kill. I looked at Madison and she seemed to be calmer. A certain realization coming to her. Only a few minutes passed before Dean came out. He looked at me and I glanced at Sam before following Dean out the door.

"What's going on?" I asked him.

"Sam thinks he can save her." Dean told me. He was slightly on the angry side.

"Even though we know he can't." I stated sadly.

"Maybe there's a chance. In dad's journal there's something about a cure. It can be cured if we sever the bloodlines."

"So we're hoping the wolf will be patrolling around the bar again and it's the same one that had bit Madison."

"Basically." Dean told me.

"All right then." I said as we got into the car.

* * *

We were patrolling a two block radius of the bar. I was on one side, Dean was on the other. It was a waiting game. People came and people went but no commotion was heard. I was getting restless and worried about what was happening with Sam and Maddy. It had already gone too far. Sam was already, very much, in like with her. What I saw was, more then likely, going to pass. This was our last hope. If this didn't work I would have to tell Sam what I saw. Tell him and hope that he could do what he needed to do.

I jumped when my phone rang. Dean's face looked at me before I pushed it open. "Hey." I told him sadly.

"No luck?" He asked.

"Nope. Just a lot of quietness and way too much to think about." I told him.

"Sammy?" He asked.

"What else? This whole thing has me bogged down."

"You can't fix everything, Evy. This sucks and I don't want Sam to get hurt, but you can't put it all on you."

"It's not the first time you've told me that. But it's who I am. I can't be changed." I was going to go on when I heard a scream not far off. "Hold on. I might have something."

"Wait, I'm coming." He said and the phone clicked off.

I frowned and followed the screaming. I rounded a corner to see a pretty blond running from a man who was quickly gaining on her. His strides fast and long. I cocked my gun and rushed after him. He had the blond, pulling her down. I got a shot off on him. He didn't fall but turned and grabbed me. His eyes were blue and his teeth were sharp and at the ready. He had my arms and I tried to keep his face away from me by pushing against his neck. I kneed him in the groin and he threw me back. I hit a parked car before falling to the ground. My side had shooting pains moving through it, stars littering my eyes. When my focus starting to come back I saw the wolf attacking the girl again. I went to try and get up when gunshots rang and the wolf fell off of the girl. Dean came into view as the girl got to her feet. She looked at me before eyeing Dean as she started to run away.

"Hey, don't mention it!" He called after her.

I managed to get to my feet, walking over to the wolf. I frowned as I looked down at Glen. "Oh my God, Glen."

Dean sighed and knelt next to him. He was choking on his own blood. His eyes were still blue and his teeth were still visible. But a few moments later he transformed back into his full human form.

"What happened? Where am I? Uhh—Help—Help me." He said as he looked at us. He was in pain. He continued to choke on his blood. "Oh, God. Oh, my God."

I covered my mouth, trying not to cry. I was shaking and I looked at Dean. He looked back sadly before looking back at Glen.

"All right, easy, Glen. Just take it easy." He told him gently.

Glen slowly relaxed as his body shut down. He was dead only a few moments later.

* * *

I called Sam and we picked him up outside of Madison's. We hung out in the hotel room until the sun started to set before going back to Madison's to stakeout her place. We weren't sure if she was going to change or not. Either way, we had to make sure. I was napping in the back seat while the boys kept an eye on the place.

"It was sort of sad, actually." Dean was telling Sam. "Glen had no clue what was going on. Hey, why do you think he turned Madison, instead of just killing her in the first place?"

"I don't know." Sam replied still sounding a little worried. "I mean, he kinda seemed to have a thing for her."

"Maybe his primal instinct did too." Dean told him. "Maybe he was looking for a little hot breeding action."

I couldn't help but grin at him. He always said shit like that. Most of the time it was funny, occasionally inappropriate. Most of the time I ignored him. Just part of the whole for better or for worse part of getting married. Once we managed to actually do it. We were still taking care of Sammy. I listened as Dean brought up Sam's feelings for Madison. Dean had a point but Sam was against the idea since she thought he was stark raving mad. I frowned, not that they could see me, and then jumped as someone knocked on the window.

"You know, for a stakeout your car's a bit conspicuous." Madison said as Sam rolled down the window. "What are you still doing here?"

"Honestly? Uh…we're pretty sure you're not gonna turn tonight but we gotta be 100 percent. So, you know, we're lurking." Dean told her. She didn't seem too thrilled with the idea.

"Look, I know this sounds crazy—" Sam started.

"Sure does." Madison interrupted before pausing. "Well, if we're gonna wait it out…we might as well do it together."

I just looked at Dean before getting out of the car. "Thanks." I smiled at her. We went back up to her apartment and she offered us some coffee. I happily drank as I tried to get Dean away from the other two.

"You were telling the truth, weren't you? About everything. What you did, it was to help me." Madison asked Sam. I cleared my throat looking at Dean but he was oblivious.

"Yeah." Sam said sadly.

"I did all those horrible things…when I turned." She said meeting his eyes.

"You didn't know." Sam told her.

Dean was standing there smiling. I wanted to watch how it was progressing too but was starting to lose my patience for subtlety.

"So, when will we know for sure? Moonrise?" Madison asked.

"No, I don't think so. You turned middle of the night last night. I think we gotta hang in until sunup." Sam told her.

"Well, it looks like we got ourselves a few hours to kill. Poker, anyone?" Dean asked.

"I'm in." I smiled at him before looking at the other two.

The waiting game had begun. We played a little poker but Sam and Maddy were anything but attentive throughout the game. So that was a wash. Sam and Madison ended up moving to the couch. It was obvious that they wanted to talk. Dean, however, decided that he was going to sit only a few feet away and practically stare at them. So I did the good friend thing and dragged him into the kitchen with me. It didn't take a lot. All I had to do was turn on a few of my feminine wilds and he was my lap dog. Sam having Madison was a good reason for us to get a little extra quality time together. When the sun finally rose, all of us standing and watching it, Madison remained unchanged.

"Does-? Does this mean it worked?" Madison asked us. Her eyes searching our faces.

"Yeah, I think so." Sam told her.

"Oh, God, thank you." She said hugging Sam. "Thank you so much." I smiled but Dean cleared his throat. I frowned at him. "You too, Dean. Thank you."

"Aw…don't mention it." He replied. Always wanting a little credit. Though it was well deserved. I was looking at him as he looked between Sam and Maddy. "Yeah."

I took my eyes off of Dean, looking at the other two. "Well, we are going to go back to the hotel." I told the two of them as I grabbed Dean's jacket. "Have fun." I smiled at them, dragging Dean toward the door. Dean just grinned at his brother before following me out the door.

We laughed as we groped each other, making our way down the hotel hall. I had my back against the door as Dean fumbled with the door key. I ran my hand down his chest. When he finally got the door open I took slow steps into the room, my eyes locked with Dean's. He smiled sweetly as he ran his fingers through my hair. I grabbed his jacket, pushing it off of his shoulders. It dropped to the floor. He pulled my shirt off of me before his own. I stepped backward until I felt the bed. I sat down and pushed myself backward. Dean followed me, his lips finding mine as I laid back. I bent my knees at his sides as his hands slid up my thighs. I pulled his pants off of him as he undid mine. Laughing as his fingers tickled my skin as he ran his fingers gently across the top of my underwear line. His fingers gripped them before pulling them off of me. He paused over me, looking down at me with a small smile on his face. I ran my fingers through his hair before placing it on his face. He kissed my palm. I smiled and pulled his face to mine, kissing him deeply. His hands moved over my body, his caresses sending tingles through my body. He started to rock against me. I arched my body against his, needing to be as close to him as possible. He pressed his lips against my neck. I kissed his shoulder as I ran my hands up and down his back. He put his arms around me, pulling me up. I wrapped my legs around him, moving with him. It was over far sooner then I wanted. I wrapped my arms around his neck. He kissed me gently, his lips trailing down my neck as he laid me down. I held him against me, his head resting against my neck, his arm across me. I gently caressed the back of his hand as my fingertips moved up and down his arm. Soon he was asleep. I stayed awake a short while longer, just wanting to hold him. Hear his breathing, feel his heart beating against me. I smiled and kissed his head before falling blissfully asleep.

* * *

The pounding seemed to start almost as soon as I had fallen asleep. I shot up. Dean with me. I looked at him before grabbing clothes. He frowned and did the same. Dean went to the door. I hung back slightly. Dean pulled open the door to see Sam.

"She turned." He told us.

"What?" Dean asked him.

"Shit." I said as I ran my fingers through my hair. Dean turned and looked at me.

"I couldn't grab her in time." Sam said with a worried expression.

My eyes welled with tears and I looked at the floor.

"We'll find her, Sammy." Dean said reassuringly. The next thing we knew we were out of the room.

"I already called Bobby." Sam said as we walked out. "He doesn't know anything. Except, he knew that severing the bloodline wouldn't work. Most everyone says it's impossible to reverse it."

"How come she didn't turn when we were with her?" Dean asked.

"Dean." Sam said shortly.

"Sammy…" I said looking at him.

"So, what, you put her to bed, then she wolfed out?" Dean said. "Maybe she's gotta be asleep to turn?" He said with raised brows as we reached the car.

"What the hell does it matter, Dean?" Sam said angrily. "Look, we gotta find some way to help her. Some legend we missed or something."

"Sammy, calm down." I told him gently.

"If there was, someone we know would've known it." Dean stated.

"You guys." I said as my mind remembered where this was going to go.

"Well then, we have to look harder until we find something." Sam told his brother, ignoring me.

Dean looked at him sadly. "Sammy, I don't think we get a choice here anymore." He told him gently.

Sam looked at him unbelievingly. "What?"

"You guys, please." I said stepping in front of them. They paused briefly before Dean kept going. I sighed and crossed my arms.

"I hate to say it, she's a sweet girl, but part of her is—"

"Evil?"

"Yeah."

"Dean." I said frowning at him. He knew what was going on and he was doing nothing but pushing it forward.

"Yeah, that's what they say about me, Dean. So me, you won't kill but her, you're just gonna blow away?" Sam asked his brother angrily.

"Enough!" I finally yelled. "That is enough." I said pushing on both their chests. "Just back off." I told Dean. He frowned at me, his jaw clenched. "Sam…" I said turning to him. "I'm sorry this is happening. I truly am. It hurts me more then you think to say…" I said and paused. "Dean may have a point." Tears came to my eyes and my voice slightly cracked as I told him.

He was about to reply when his phone rang. His eyes didn't leave mine as he answered. He frowned and looked down as he said Madison's name. I sighed and looked at Dean. He didn't meet my eyes. I knew he didn't like this but I also knew that it didn't matter what I saw. A job was a job and if she couldn't be saved then she would have to go. As soon as Sam hung up the phone we were back in the car.

"I don't remember anything. I probably killed someone last night. Didn't I?" Madison asked when we got her back to her apartment.

"There's no way to know yet." Dean told her. He was doing his best to be supportive and just finish the hunt. She would hurt someone eventually.

"Is there something else we can try to make it go away?" Madison asked us.

"We'll find something. I mean, there's gotta be some answer, somewhere." Sam told her.

"That's not entirely true." Dean told her. Sam glared at him and a horrible pit fell in my stomach. "Madison, you deserve to know. We've scoured every source. There's just no cure."

"Is…? Is he right?" She asked Sam.

Sam looked at her with a pained expression. He was struggling so hard with this. I knew that his attachment for her ran deep. I had seen it. I knew what had happened last night and knew how happy he was. That was until he woke up. I looked at Dean, he was looking at them sympathetically. We both knew that nothing could be done but we hated to see Sammy in so much pain. It was obvious that Madison was afraid but she was taking it well. I took a step back, trying not to freak out about this. If it were up to me I would tell the guys to get out and I'd leave her. I didn't want her to die. I didn't want Sam to be hurt. But, as always, it was playing out like it was supposed to. It was still a wonder to me why I saw things that I would never be able to change. As I tried to keep my cool, Dean tried to keep everything under control. Sam looked like he was going to all apart, Madison was, and I just wanted to disappear.

"I mean, we could lock you up at night, but you'd bust out, and some night you will, someone else dies." Dean told her. He was being realistic but it still hurt. Madison looked at him with tears in her eyes. "I'm sorry, I am."

Madison took a deep breath. "So I guess that's all there is to it, then."

"Stop it. Don't talk like that." Sam told her. Shocked to hear her actually say it.

"Sam, I don't want to hurt anyone else." She told him, starting to cry. "I don't want to hurt you."

I couldn't take it. I started to cry. I covered my mouth and went to a corner. I closed my eyes when Madison stood, taking the gun from the table. I shook my head as she walked up to Sam.

"Put that down." Sam told her.

"I can't do it myself." She told him.

She grabbed the barrel of the gun, resting the butt against Sam's chest.

"I need you to help me." She said as tears fell.

"Madison. No." He said firmly. His eyes were full of tears.

"Sam. I'm a monster." She replied.

I tried not to start sobbing but I was failing. I went to Dean, taking his hand. I rested my head on his shoulder. He kissed the top of my head, leaving his mouth against my hair.

"You don't have to be. We can find a way, all right? I can. I'm gonna save you." Sam told Maddy.

"You tried. I know you tried." Madison told him, her voice breaking. "This is all there is left. Help me, Sam. I want you to do it. I want it to be you."

"I can't."

"I don't wanna die." She said with a small chuckle before getting serious again. "I don't. But I can't live like this. This is the way you can save me. Please. I'm asking you to save me."

Sam was falling apart. He couldn't do it. He would in the end but he needed the few minutes in the kitchen first. Dean squeezed my hand before stepping forward, taking the gun from Maddy. Sam had tears in his eyes. He just looked at her before walking away, going into the kitchen. Dean followed him. It was almost time. I stayed with Madison. Her eyes were distant and her face was tearstained.

"You don't have to do this." I told her. "We can keep looking. Keep it up for as long as we can."

"You know it'll end this way. There is no other way for it to end." She told me.

I knew she was right. "This really sucks." I laughed wiping the tears from my cheeks.

She grinned. "Tell me about it."

"I am so sorry, Maddy." I told her sympathetically. "If there was any other way…" I said and stopped.

"I know." She told me.

"I wish Sammy could have been able to have you. You two have real potential." I told her.

"Yeah, that's just what I want to hear after I asked him to shoot me." She replied averting her eyes.

"I'm sorry." I told her again.

"Don't be." She said meeting my eyes. "It's the truth." She said giving me a small smile.

I nodded and went to her, hugging her tightly. As I let her go Sam came back into the room. The gun was in hand and his face was tearstained. He met my eyes. I nodded and went into the kitchen. As soon as the door was shut behind me I couldn't hold the sobs back. I rushed to Dean, throwing my arms around his neck. He held me tight. A moment later the gun shot rang.


	31. Good Times

_**Chapter Thirty-one: Good Times**_

_Just a small town girl_

_Living in a lonely world_

_She took the midnight train_

_Going anywhere_

_Just a city boy_

_Born and raised in south Detroit_

_He took the midnight train_

_Going anywhere_

_I singer a smoky room_

_A smell of wine and cheap perfume_

_For a smile they can share the night_

_It goes on and on and on and on_

I couldn't help but laugh. We had taken a step back from everything. Needing some sort of release from the pain and stress of the job. My stomach was aching from laughing so hard. Even though Sam had just lost the woman he would have loved, he was holding up better then I had thought he would. The music was loud but it was upbeat and we were having fun. It had been a long time since we had had a good dose of fun. We were at the local bowling alley. I hadn't bowled in years. But here we were. Sam was up; he was shaking his butt at us before rolling the ball down the lane. I laughed as it veered around before falling into the gutter. Dean laughed with me before standing up.

"Knock him dead, baby." I grinned at him.

He just winked at me before grabbing his ball and stepping up to the lane. I couldn't help but stare at him. He took his stance. It was ridiculous. He didn't know what he was doing. I grinned, spinning the ring on my finger. When he bent over my eyes fell on his nicely formed ass and my eyes glued themselves to it. I got my focus back when I heard the ball hit the lane. It bounced slightly before knocking down a few of the pins. I laughed as he strutted back to the chairs. I grinned as I stood, kissing him before going for my ball. He smacked my ass, drinking his beer as he smiled at me. I just crinkled my nose at him before turning away. I picked up my ball, a whole whopping ten pounds, and faced the lane. I never claimed to be even halfway decent bowler. I swung back before whipping the ball down the lane. As soon as the ball was out of my hands I turned and walked back to the guys. Dean was frowning at me but when I stepped off of the floor, I turned to see the ball level all of the pins. I turned and grinned at them. Sam grinned back but Dean looked at me with shock. I just shrugged and sat back down.

"Now what?" Dean asked when we were done at the alley.

"Well, the night is still young and I'm not nearly drunk enough." I smiled at him.

"Wanna hit up some bars?" He grinned.

"Sam?" I said looking at him. "What do you think?"

"Let's do it." He smiled.

"Okay, let's go." I told Dean, excited to be out and about with no death in site.

I was already moving to the music as we walked through the first bars doors. It was loud and full of people. I took Sam's hand, leading him to a table while Dean grabbed us a round of beers. I was antsy for some action, downing the beer Dean brought me before going and getting another.

"Slow down, baby." Dean told me.

"Why?" I smiled at him. "Tonight is a night of freedom. We're going to have to get back to work soon. I am so excited to pretend to have a little time off. I want to dance. I want to sing. I want to get piss ass drunk and have some hot sex with you later." I said and laughed.

"Evy! Way too much information." Sam smiled at me, his brows furrowed.

Dean just grinned at me. "Then let's dance." He said and stood.

I grinned back and stood, taking his hand. He led me to the dance floor. I turned, swinging my hips as he grabbed my ass. He pulled me against him. I ran my hands down his chest. He took my hand and spun me, pressing his body against my back. I put my hand on the back of his head as we moved to the beat. I bent forward, pushing my ass into his groin. I could hear his grin. I turned and circled him.

"It's a good thing you already proposed to me." I grinned as I trailed my fingers across his back.

"Why is that?" He asked as his arms circled my waist.

"Because I am a lousy dancer." I grinned.

He laughed and kissed me deeply. We were an embarrassment to ourselves. I'm sure everyone was grateful when a slow song came on. We could handle the slow songs. His arms were wrapped around my waist, mine around his neck. I played with the hair at the nape of his neck. I was lost in him. It was slightly ridiculous, even when I thought about it, but I was so in love with this man that I could hardly stand it. At times he drove me insane. There were times we didn't see eye to eye. He could be so stubborn and hard sometimes. But then again, so could I. In the end he was always what I wanted. Through thick and thin I would be with this man. I would be with him until the world ended. No matter what happened we would be together. Through life and death.

"How are you doing tonight Ms. Evy?" Dean asked with a southern accent.

I laughed and smiled up at him. "I'm doin' quite fine, kind sir." I replied mimicking his accent.

He smiled and kissed me gently. "So, you ready for a little musical influence?"

I just laughed as the karaoke mic squealed to life. We sat and listened to several horrible people before deciding it was time. It had been ages since we'd done this. I sort of missed it. It really was a good way to let loose and get rid of some of the pent up emotions we were feeling. I was the first to go, too excited to wait any longer, that and the alcohol was starting to impair my judgment. Never could do it very well unless I was at least somewhat intoxicated. Tonight it was Devil in Disguise by the one and only Elvis. It was humorous and fun. Plus the lyrics had some truth to it and even now I could see that side of him. Loved him to death and I didn't mind that side of him as much as I used to. There was no changing him anyway. He just grinned at me throughout the song. Everyone clapped and I happily took my seat after it was done. Dean finished his beer before taking the mic from me. I burst with laughter as the music for Calling Dr. Love started. The song fit him. People were on their feet and I joined them, cheering on my man. It was fun and full of energy just as it always was with him. He didn't do anything half ass, and I wasn't complaining.

* * *

"Tell me why we're doing this again?" Sam said as he stood with his golf club over his shoulder.

I frowned before turning back to the orange ball on the green floor. I looked at the small windmill, the blades turning, just enough to cause a problem for my little friend here. I was probably concentrating too hard on this simple task. It wasn't life or death. I took into consideration the wind and the noise coming from the brothers, focusing on that little orange ball. I hit the ball and it slipped past the blades and through the hole. I went to the other side and watched as it rolled directly into the hole. I grinned and turned to the men.

"Okay, first of all, I'm awesome. Second, we're doing this because we need to. When was the last time we had some good, consequence free, fun?" I said looking at Sam. "Besides, I don't remember the last time I mini-golfed and I'm having fun. Can't you humor me for just a little while?"

"Oh course." Dean said putting his arm around me. "I'm having fun." He grinned.

I laughed and shoved him gently. "Hit your ball."

Sam participated but he wasn't quite as enthused as I had hoped he would be. But he was still being a good sport about it. That night we ended up at the bar again. Sitting in the room all the time was slightly pathetic but at the same time being out didn't seem to be doing the trick anymore. We didn't even stay for karaoke. I was having an ice cream craving so we stopped for supplies. We found a nice suite to stay in for the duration of our stay. It had two rooms. A TV in both, a tiny kitchen separating them. It was nice. Too nice for us but we were trying to have fun.

We sat around the table. Enjoying our various types of ice cream. We basically ate a little of everything. I topped mine with whipped cream, dipping my index finger into it. I scooped a small portion out and slowly stuck my finger into my mouth. I closed my eyes, savoring the taste, as I pulled my finger back out. I smiled at Sam before looking at Dean. He had that look in his eyes. I grinned and leaned forward, putting whipped cream on his nose.

"So you wanna play, huh?" He smiled.

"Maybe." I grinned licking the rest off my fingers.

The next thing I knew I had whipped cream being squirted in my face. It was everywhere. Along with it came chocolate and caramel sauce. Soon there was ice cream and M&M's and Oreos. We were laughing, even Sam. Dean tackled me, rubbing his face in the whipped cream between my breasts. I burst with laughter. He accidentally pushed the chair backward and we fell to the floor. We were laughing enthusiastically when I heard footsteps walking away. My laughter died down as I watched Sam walk into the bathroom. I sighed and looked at Dean. He stood and helped me to my feet. I went into the kitchen and grabbed a rag to start cleaning up.

"I was just trying to help you know." I told Dean sadly as I started cleaning up. "I just wanted to make things better. Take away some of the bleakness."

"I know." Dean said getting another rag.

"He's hurting, I get that, but we have been through too much to let ourselves drown in our own misery. I would have gone insane a long time ago."

"Me too."

"I don't want to be an upset to Sam. He needs support. He knows we're here for him. I just wanted life to seem a little less dreary. I am happy." I said looking at Dean. "For all intensive purposes, I am happy. I am engaged to the love of my life. I'm healthy with no long term complications. Other then the hunting I think I lead a pretty good life."

"Me too." He said putting his arms around my waist.

I sighed and rested my hands on his biceps. "It makes me feel guilty. We're happy while he got his happiness taken away."

He put his forehead against mine, kissing me gently. "I know you wanted to help. You're trying your best. But Sam is a big boy. He can take it. It might be a little rough for a while but he'll be okay." He told me reassuringly.

"Okay." I said as I wrapped my arms around him, resting my head on his chest.

"I, uh, have to say that, uh, the whipped cream was a good idea." He smirked at me.

I laughed at him as he licked some whipped cream from my cleavage. We quieted down when Sam came out. I smiled at Dean as we finished cleaning up. My big master plan had failed. I had good intentions but in the end I had been forcing normalcy on all of us. Sam would survive this. All of us seemed to always survive whatever was thrown at us. This was no different. I knew that he missed Madison. I also knew that he would be all right.

* * *

A few days later we were back on the road, in route to our next possible job. I had stopped trying to push any sort of fun on Sam. It was pointless and I knew it, even though I tried to ignore it. We drifted back right into our normal routine. Jumped from town to town, hotel to motel, gas station after gas station, all of it leading to some supernatural thing. Some thing that needed to be killed. But that was the story of our life. It was the way it was and the way it was going to stay.

"Are we there yet?" I smiled at Dean.

"Almost." He said and slowed as we passed a street sign, turning down a side road.

I grinned as the small house came into view. The lights were on and we could see a woman through the window. She was young and pretty. Dean had his eyes on her.

"You're lucky I'm not the jealous type." I smiled at him with a raised brow.

He didn't even look at me as he replied, "What are you talking about? You are the jealous type."

"What?" I frowned at him. He turned and grinned at me. "If I were the jealous type Jo would be dead. I'd even track Cassie down and give her a piece of my mind. If I were the jealous type I would never be able to leave you alone."

"You never do." He grinned back.

I frowned harder at him. "That has nothing to do with your loyalties. That's about keeping you breathing." I said and crossed my arms. He'd irked me now.

"Don't be mad." He smiled.

"Shut up." I said and got out of the car.

"Evy, come on." Dean said doing the same.

"Let's just get the job done." I told him as I walked toward the house.

"Evy, just hold up a sec."

I stopped and faced him. "Not now, _honey_." I told him coldly.

He rolled his eyes and sighed. I went to the door, ringing the bell. The woman came to the door, answering it with a smile.

"Hi, my name is Evy. This is Dean and his brother Sam. We're here to talk to you about the recent death of your boyfriend." I told her.

Her smile disappeared and she just eyed us suspiciously. "What about him?" She asked.

"Can we come in?" I asked.

She looked at the three of us. The guys smiled at her while I looked at her slightly impatiently. "You can, they can't." She said and opened the door a little wider.

"Okay." I said and moved inside.

"Wait, hold on." Dean frowned.

"Dean, I'll be fine. Just go wait in the car." I frowned back and closed the door.

Beth was the girl's name. She had been seeing Seth for about three months. He proposed just a few weeks prior to his death.

"We were happy. He was fantastic and even though it was fast I could see myself being with him for the rest of my life." She told me as we sipped coffee on the couch.

"So what happened?" I asked her.

"He turned creepy." She replied. "He was calling all the time. He would show up randomly while I was on break. Even when I was out with friends. We were about to move in together but I was starting to second guess myself. I told him we needed to talk. I told him what I was feeling. He freaked out on me. We were at his place. I was upset so I left in a hurry. I found out the next morning that he had been in a car accident. He was killed. He had been on his way here. I felt guilty at first but he wasn't as good a guy as I had thought him to be." She said and took a drink.

"And now he's back." I stated.

"I thought I was crazy. I saw him at the grocery store. I saw him at work. He stands out in my yard." She told me.

"But he doesn't touch you?" I asked.

"No." She said shaking her head. "Not yet anyway. It was just last night that he was in the kitchen. I've been trying to ignore it but it's getting to be too much. I don't want to be afraid anymore." She told me sadly.

"I know the feeling." I smiled and my fingers moved to my ring.

"Dean?" She asked.

I smiled and nodded, "Yeah."

"You didn't seem very happy with him tonight." She stated.

"I'm not. We've been through a lot together. He cheated on me once. But lately it seems like they think I don't trust them. Dean's nearly died…too many times. Me needing to keep an eye on him has nothing to do with the women he's slept with. It has to do with him being safe. I don't want to lose him. We've been to Hell and back. Seen Heaven and the whole bit. But I trust him with all of me. I just wish he'd see that." I confided in her.

"I'm sure he does." Beth smiled. "I can tell."

I laughed and smiled at her. "The funny thing is, is that this whole thing came about when he saw you through the window."

"What can I say? I'm one hot babe." She grinned. I laughed until the room went cold. I frowned and stood. "What is it?" Beth asked.

"He's here." I said and grabbed the poker next to the fireplace.

A second later Seth was in the room. He looked like he'd been run over by a tractor. He glared at me before smiling at Beth.

"I'm going to take you home now." He told her. "I've missed you. Have you missed me too?" He asked.

"I think it's time you go to Hell." I told him. He lunged at Beth and I slashed him with the poker. He disappeared. I pulled out my phone. "Dean, Seth's our guy. Find the remains and burn them. Don't forget the car." I told him and hung up.

"Just like that?" Beth asked.

"Pretty much." I told her. "I'll watch out for you until they call or get back."

"So I guess I'm not crazy." She said sitting back down.

"You're taking it well. But you seemed to know what was going on before I got here." I said sitting next to her.

"I can't say that I've never been interested in the supernatural. I've randomly looked it up. A friend of mine was really into it a few years back. So I knew something when this all started. Not much, just the snippets that were consistent from site to site." She told me.

I couldn't help but smile at her. "You're a supernatural fan. That's kinda funny."

"Yeah, I spose it is." She smiled back.

"But just so you know." I told her getting serious. "It's not as interesting as it seems. It's terrifying and deadly. I suggest you stop looking into it. It's not worth it."

"Yeah, after this I don't think I'll be looking at it at all." She replied.

I could tell she was scared. She was holding up but it was clear that it was just a façade. We waited. I made circles, checking the yard to see if Seth had returned. Dean hadn't called so I could only assume they were still digging and burning. I thought we were in the clear until glass started to shatter as the temperature dropped.

"Shit." I said and returned to Beth. But when I entered the living room Seth already had her. Her back was pressed against him, his hand covering her throat. "Let her go."

"She's mine." He told me.

I rolled my eyes as anger started to boil. "I am so sick of men thinking that they lay claim on their women. There is claim involved. I know that but seriously, we are our own people and we will decide what is best for us."

"She's mine." He repeated.

"Great." I said nodding at the ghost. "I am in the venting mood and I get the dumb ghost."

He pushed Beth onto the couch and rushed me. He did the ghost thing, moving in the blink of an eye. He slammed me against the wall. My head hit it hard. I fell to the floor dazed. He grabbed my arms and threw me across the room. I landed on the coffee table. It, of course, had a glass center. It broke and I could feel the shards dig into me. I didn't have a chance to get to my feet before he had me by the throat. He pulled me to my feet. He let me go and punched me hard. I could see the poker only a few feet from me. But I wouldn't get to it in time.

"Beth, talk to him." I told her.

"What?" She asked.

"I'm slightly vulnerable at the moment and I'm not looking to die any time soon. I'm not above asking for help."

She just looked at me before looking at Seth. "Stop." She told him. He paused and looked at her. "Don't hurt her."

He turned toward her, allowing me to grab the poker and slash him with it. "Okay. I'd say he knows he's in trouble." I told Beth.

"This is too much." She said and rushed to her room.

"Beth…" I said and followed her.

Her door was locked. I was about to leave her be when she started to scream. I turned and slammed my shoulder into the door, breaking it open. Seth had her pinned on the bed. She was pushing against him. He was trying to kiss her. I rushed in and pulled him off of her. I managed to land a few punches of my own before he disappeared. I grabbed Beth and pulled her toward the front door. Before we could reach it every door and window slammed shut the locks turning. My phone rang and I quickly put it to my ear.

"All right, it's done." Dean told me, his tone still on the angry side. "We're on our way back."

"It's not done." I told him quickly. "He's in the house. No exit."

"What?" He asked, worry entering his voice.

"No time to explain. Some sort of remains is still around." I told him. Seth appeared in front of us, a very angry expression on his face. "Shit." I said before I was thrown. The phone was knocked out of my hand. I scrambled to my feet, racing to Beth. I grabbed her before running to the bathroom, slamming the door.

"What do we do now?" Beth asked me frantically.

"Did he ever give you anything? Anything that might have any DNA left on it?" I asked her.

"What? No. I don't know." She said and started to pace.

I grabbed her arms, making her face me. "You need to think. We can't get rid of him if there is some part of him left."

She nodded, her eyes darting around the room as she thought. Seth starting to pound on the door, making it shake. I put my back against the door, bracing my feet against anything nearby. I held the poker and summoned all the strength I had, slamming it through the door. The banging stopped and I looked at Beth. It was clear when she remembered. I took a deep breath and nodded at her.

"There is a picture of us in the living room, next to the lamp. When we got it made he accidentally cut himself on the edge. There is a blood smear on the back of it." She told me.

"Okay." I said and turned to the door. "Wait here. If he comes to the door just keep him distracted so I can burn the picture. If it gets too hairy just yell for me."

I slipped out the door. The house was quiet. Not a single sound. It was eerie and anything but comforting. I moved quietly, making my way into the living room. So far there was no sign of Seth. I had just picked up the frame when there was a tapping on the window. I looked to see Dean. I frowned at him, mouthing 'quiet'. But it was too late. Seth was in front of me in an instant. I glared at Dean before making a run for it. He grabbed me, looking at Dean before tossing me into the window. My heat hit the lock on top the first window, sending blood down the glass. Dean looked at me wide eyed as I fell to the floor. He starting banging on the glass, yelling, as Seth walked toward me. The picture was across the room. The frame was broken. All I had to do was get fire on it some how. I took one more shot, trying to finish it, but Seth had his ghostly abilities working for him. Without back up I didn't have a lot going for me. Shots rang in the room as Dean tried to break into the window. I could hear Sam trying to kick in the door. Seth's focus was intense and at the moment I was caught in his crosshairs. He had me by the throat, squeezing as he pulled me to my feet. As my air supply started to run out I could see the picture at his feet. I pulled the lighter from my jacket pocket. Quickly, I opened it, striking it before I dropped it onto the picture. It took longer then I thought but the picture caught flame. Seth started to scream and he released me. He was gone only seconds later. I heard the door bust open and Dean was no longer at the window. Beth emerged from the bathroom, looking shocked and tearstained.

"Evy!" Dean yelled before rushing into the room.

"I'm fine." I told him.

"God…" He said taking my arms.

"I'm fine." I repeated as I put my hands on his forearms. "I got it done." I smiled.

He lifted my chin with his thumb and index finger before running his fingers across the bruises that were already starting to pop up.

"You look like crap." He frowned.

"Well, Seth was strong and I didn't exactly have my usual back up." I told him before moving to Beth. "You okay?" I asked her. She nodded. "Good. Grab a bag; we'll take you to a friend's house." She nodded again and walked away.

When she was gone I took a deep breath, sitting on the couch. Dean knelt in front of me, checking my wounds. "Are you okay?" He asked.

"I will be. This isn't the first beating I've ever taken." I told him.

"I'm sorry." He told me.

"For what?" I frowned at him.

"For pissing you off." He told me.

I just looked at him and laughed. "Baby, it's fine." I said putting my hand on his face. I leaned forward and kissed him deeply. "I can never stay mad at you anyway." I told him and stood, holding my breath as pain moved through my body. "Let's just focus on getting her someplace safe for the night. Then I'll get myself looked at." Dean nodded.

It took a few hours but we managed to get Beth safe and me to a hospital. I wouldn't have bothered except I could feel glass embedded in me in more then one place. I needed actual medical assistance, not just Dean and Sam. If I needed to be stitched, no problem, concussion, no problem, embedded glass…professional. When we were back at the hotel I slept. They had given me pain pills, that mixed with the endless nights of no sleep made it easy. Sleep was bliss. I didn't even have the energy to dream. When I woke up Dean was staring down at me, resting on his forearm. I smiled and put my hand on his cheek, gently rubbing it with my thumb.

"Hey." I whispered with a smile.

He kissed my palm, a sad expression crossing his face. I frowned at him, taking his hand in mine. He just looked at me, smiling his crooked smile. I smiled and tilted my head up. He smiled a full smile, kissing me deeply. I rolled onto my back, feeling the pain. I slowly stood and fetched my pain pills from the table. I took two before sitting on the edge of the table. I ran my fingers through my hair before looking at Dean.

"You're not still mad at me are you?" He asked.

I smiled and shook my head. "No. I'm just sore." I told him. He nodded and sat next to me. "So that was fun, right?" I grinned at him.

He gave a short laugh and looked at me. "If you call that fun."

"Good times. Good times." I smiled at him.

He laughed and put his arm around me. "We live some pretty crazy lives." He told me.

I laughed and put my arms around him, resting my head on his chest. "Yeah, but I wouldn't have it any other way."

He just smiled and kissed my forehead. We relaxed for the rest of the day. There was plenty of time to hunt. Plenty of monsters to kill. But I wouldn't give up on fun. With our job, just killing the bad guy was fun. It was all the fun we could take.


	32. There Will Be Blood

_**Chapter Thirty-two: There Will Be Blood**_

The sun had been down for quite a while. We were quiet in the car. We had just finished a job and were driving to the next town that would have a hotel. I smiled at Dean. He just smirked and winked at me. I put out my hand. He took it, lacing our fingers. I leaned the chair back slightly and shut my eyes. My adrenaline was starting to leave my system, making sleep sound very good. I was almost asleep when I felt arms around my neck. I opened my eyes as Sam put his chin on my shoulder.

"Have I said 'thank you' to you lately?" He asked softly.

I let go of Dean's hand and put it on the back of Sam's head, playing with his hair. "You don't have to thank me for anything." I said and kissed his cheek, resting my head against his.

"You've been a big help. You really have." He said squeezing just a little tighter. "First with Madison, again with the prison…you've helped more then you know."

I smiled and kissed the side of his head. "Love you too, Sammy."

"Love you more." He grinned and sat back.

"Baby?" I said softly to Dean. He looked at me. "Think we could grab a bite to eat somewhere?"

"Sure." He smiled.

We found a roadside diner only a short while later.

"Oh, goodie!" I said excitedly. "I'm starving."

"What do you want?" Sam asked.

"Get me a burger. Bacon and cheese." I told him.

"You've been around Dean too long." Sam uttered under his breath.

"I heard that." I said turning in the seat. "Don't forget the onion rings and plenty of ketchup."

"I want some pie." Dean told his brother. Sam just raised his brows and got out of the car. "Bring me some pie!" Dean hollered to him out the window.

I laughed and looked at him. "You and your damn pie." I said running my fingers through his hair.

"I like pie." He grinned as he turned toward me.

I smiled and kissed him. He kissed me repeatedly. His fingers trailed down my chest, moving down to my thigh. He squeezed it and I couldn't help but smile. My hands were on his chest, starting to reach for his pants when the radio went wonky. We stopped and looked at it before looking at the diner. We looked at each other as we got out of the car, rushing into it.

"Sam!" I yelled into the diner.

I saw a dead body in a booth. I looked at Dean. He checked behind the counter. There were more bodies but no Sam. I ran my fingers through my hair and went back outside.

"Sam!" I yelled into the night. "Sam, where are you?"

"Evy." Dean said grabbing my arm. "He's not here." He told me and showed me his fingers. I recognized the sulfur on them.

"Where is he?" I asked, even though I knew he didn't have an answer. "What do we do?"

"We get help. Yellow-eyes has to be behind this." He said and we rushed back to the car.

We were silent as we drove. We were going to Bobby's. He would be able to help. He would have some idea of what to do. We had no idea where Sam was or what was happening to him. All I knew was that he had to be okay. He had to be okay for Dean and me to be okay. Dean wouldn't be able to survive if anything happened to Sam. Even with me, he would drift away. I would be there for him. I would support him. Never leave him. The more I thought about it the more I realized I was already trying to accept it. I knew that something could have happened. Azazel wasn't known for his caring nature. Sam was more then likely in serious trouble. But Sam was Sam. He would be okay. He could handle himself. I closed my eyes and tried to concentrate on anything but what my imagination wanted to show me.

"You okay?" Dean asked finally breaking the silence.

"Not really. You?" I said looking at him. He just shook his head. "He'll be fine, Dean." I told him but my tone was neutral. I didn't believe it but I wanted to.

"I know." Dean said but his tone was the same.

When we stopped for gas, Dean went to pay, leaving me alone in the car. I took this small amount of alone time to finally let myself cry. I was worried and scared. The fight was approaching and we were caught off guard. They had Sam, we didn't know where or what was happening and I was terrified. I closed my eyes, tears running down my cheeks. I put Sam's picture in my head and felt for the part of my brain that was special. Sam and I were alike. I hoped that somehow I could reach him. A picture, a word, anything to connect to him. If we could do it. If I could reach him, then he could reach me. He could tell us where he was. I had barely started when Dean came back.

"Evy?" He said looking at me.

"I'm good. Don't worry about me. I'll be all right." I told him.

"No you won't." He replied. I just looked at him. "If I'm not all right how the hell can you be?"

"He's your brother. You're not supposed to be okay. I'm just the fiancé. I can hold you up until we find him." I told him as supportively as I could.

"That's such bullshit." He told me as he started to speed off. "You're not okay and you're not going to be okay. He's just as much your brother as he is mine. Just not by blood."

"Fine, you're right." I said as my voice started to shake. "But I don't want to fall apart this time. I need to be strong for Sam. I have you. I don't have to be as strong. But Sam? We're all he's got and we let him get taken."

"We didn't _let _him get taken." Dean told me slightly on the harsh side. "Yellow-eyes has a plan. We just need to figure it out."

"We're not going to figure it out." I told him angrily. "That's the point. He's toying with us. We'll never figure out his plan. Unless Sam knows something when we get him back."

"He'll have a plan. He always knows what to do." Dean replied.

I sighed and rested my head against the window. Not long after that we got a call from Bobby. We were to meet him on the road. When we got there the maps were pulled out but we had no idea where to look. We had the whole country and nothing going for us.

"Well, this is it. All the demonic signs and omens over the past month." Bobby told us.

"What?" I frowned at him.

"Are you joking, there's nothing here." Dean told him slightly on the angry side.

"Exactly." Bobby told him.

"Well, come on. There's gotta be something." Dean told him. "I mean, what about the normal, low-level stuff? You know exorcisms, that kind of thing."

"That's what I'm telling you. There's nothing. It's completely quiet."

"This is ridiculous. It's hardly possible." I told him.

"Well how are we supposed to look for Sam? What do we just close our eyes and point?" Dean told him angrily.

I closed my eyes, running my fingers through my hair. My head was pounding. I walked away from the men. I didn't want to argue. I heard Dean's phone ring. I turned and watched him. He didn't look happy. I closed my eyes and pictured Sam. I reached for the part of me I feared. I concentrated on his face, hoping that some how this would work. _Sammy…_I thought, pushing it out. When I opened my eyes Dean was rushing toward me.

"What is it?" I asked him.

"We're heading to the Roadhouse."

"What's going on?" I asked following him back to the car.

"Ash found something." He told me.

"What did he find?"

"He wouldn't tell me over the phone. We have to hurry."

"Does it have something to do with Sammy?"

"Yeah."

A small wave of relief washed over me. One could only hope that Ash would have some lead on where Sam was. Anything would be helpful. But all of that disappeared when we got to the Roadhouse. I was out of the car before it fully stopped.

"Ellen!" I yelled running toward the remains of the Roadhouse. It had been burned to the ground. "Ellen! Ash!" I went in among the scorched wood and bodies, moving as carefully as possible. "Oh God. Oh God, oh God, of God."

"What the hell?" Dean said following me.

"My God." Bobby said softly.

"What happened here?" I said looking at them with tears in my eyes.

"Do you see Ellen?" Dean asked.

"No." I said shaking my head.

"No. No Ash either." Bobby told him.

It was hard not to look at all the bodies. I frowned as Dean squatted, looking at something.

"Oh, Ash. Damn it." He said standing.

"What?" I said shakily. He just looked at me. I could hardly see through my tears as I turned and went back to the car. "That son of a bitch."

Dean followed me, embracing me tightly. "I know." He said as I cried into him

"This is-." Bobby said and stopped.

"What the hell did Ash know? We've got no way of knowing where Ellen is or if she's even alive. We got no clue what Ash was gonna tell us. Now how the hell are we gonna find Sam?" Dean rambled. I just watched him. I didn't know what to say.

"We'll find him." Bobby told him.

I frowned when Dean's face turned to pain as he put his hand to his head. "Dean?" I said going to him.

"Dean?" Bobby said frowning at him.

"No."

"No what?" I asked him.

He looked at me before it happened again. Panic was starting to fill me. I didn't know what was going on or why.

"What was that?" Bobby asked.

"I don't know. Headache." Dean replied.

"Headache?" I said furrowing my brows.

"You get headaches like that a lot?" Bobby asked.

"No. No. Must be the stress." He said laughing lightly. "I could have sworn I saw something."

"Holy shit." I told him still frowning. "How is that possible?" I knew what was happening.

"What do you mean?" Dean said looking at me.

"What do you mean, like—like a vision? Like what Sam gets?" Bobby asked him.

"What? No." Dean frowned.

"That's exactly what it is." I told him. "But how are you getting it? Are you intercepting it somehow?"

"Come on, I'm not some psychic." Dean frowned before the pain returned.

He fell against the hood of the car. I put my hands on his arms. I knew what it felt like. I waited for it to be done. He gasped as he recovered from the vision.

"Dean?" I said softly.

"Dean?" Bobby said putting his hand on Dean. "Are you with us?"

Dean nodded, "Yeah, I think so. I saw Sam. I saw him, Bobby."

"It was a vision." Bobby told him.

"Yeah, I don't know how. But, yeah. Hoo. That was about as fun as getting kicked in the jewels." He said and smiled. "Is that what it always feels like?" He asked me.

"You get used to it." I told him, running my hand down the back of his head. "Describe what you saw. Anything you remember."

"Uh…there was a bell." Dean told us.

"What kind of bell?" Bobby asked.

"Uh, like a big bell with, uh, some kind of engraving on it, I don't know." Dean told me.

"It's okay." I told him but at the same time wishing he'd be more specific.

"Engraving?" Bobby asked.

"Yeah." Dean told him.

"Was it a tree? Like an oak tree?" Bobby asked him.

"Yeah. Exactly." Dean frowned.

"I know where Sam is." Bobby and I said together.

Sam was in Cold Oak, South Dakota. A ghost town that was so haunted that every resident had fled. I had done some reading about it but it was cut off from everything. The road in was blocked and no one had been there since. Why would the demon bring Sam there, and who was he there with? I closed my eyes and focused on Sam again. I tried to reach him, needing to know if he was okay or not. _Stay safe. Fight._ I pushed at his image. Only hoping that somehow he would hear me.

"He'll be okay." Dean told me.

I looked at him. He wasn't convinced. We didn't know what was going on. We didn't know how Dean had received his vision. The list of things we didn't know was much longer then the list of what we did know. It was a lucky break that we now knew where Sam was. All that mattered was getting him back. He would be able to fill in the blanks. When we reached the road leading in it was overgrown with fallen trees blocking the way. I looked at Dean and sighed as we started out on foot.

"If he's not all right I'm going to kill him." I told Dean as we walked.

"He'll be fine." Dean told me.

"Stop trying to convince me of that. We have no idea what he's been through. What he's _going_ through." I replied.

"Don't be mad at me. I didn't have anything to do with this." He frowned at me.

"I'm not mad at you. I'm mad at myself." I told him. "I'm just taking it out on you."

"This isn't your fault." He told me.

"Why didn't I see it, Dean? Why did you get that vision? Why is my power failing?" I asked him. But I knew why. I just wasn't ready to admit it.

"Evy, you can't control it. You can't see everything. You don't even want it."

"You're right. I don't want it. But since I have it I wish it would be helpful." I said as I tripped over a tree. "Damn it."

"You need to stop blaming yourself for everything that goes wrong." He told me as he helped me up.

"I don't." I frowned.

"Are we really going to fight now?" He asked me. I looked at him. He looked worried and upset.

"No. I don't want to fight. I just wish things were different." I told him.

"Different how?" He asked.

"Like what you saw with the jinn. A normal life. A normal family." I told him.

"Someday. Once all this is over." He replied.

I laughed and looked at him. "We both know this is never going to be over. There will always be evil to fight. We're all doomed."

He frowned and grabbed my arm. "Where is this coming from?" He asked.

"Someone told me something. I didn't want to believe it. But it's happening. I don't need a premonition to figure it out." I told him and kept moving.

We were quiet as we walked the rest of the way. The town was quiet. As we came down into it, the first thing I saw was a girl hanging from a windmill. This was a place of death. You could feel the presence of spirits. I shuddered as we headed into the town.

"Sam!" Dean called.

"Sammy!" I yelled. We turned a corner and saw Sam walking toward us. "Thank God."

He looked hurt. He was holding his arm against him, a limp in his walk. I frowned as I quickly moved toward him.

"Sam." Dean called to his brother.

"Dean. Evy." Sam smiled back.

I smiled at Dean before starting to run toward Sam. There was someone behind him. I saw the knife the same time Dean did.

"Sam! Look out!" Dean yelled as he ran toward him.

There wasn't time. I watched at the man thrust the knife into Sam's back. Could practically hear the crunch as it hit his spine. I was past Sam seconds after the knife was pulled out. The man ran but I was right on his tail. I aimed my gun at him but at the last moment he turned and hit me. I flew far, knowing what his power was. I was on my feet again but Bobby was chasing him away. I turned back to Sam. Dean was talking to him, his brother's head in his hands. I rushed back to him, dropping on my knees next to Dean.

"Sammy…" I said putting my hand on his chest. He looked at me but his eyes were heavy. Tears filled my eyes and I put my hand on Dean's knee.

"Hey. Look. Look at me. It's not even that bad. It's not even that bad, right?" Dean told his brother. I tried hiding the sobs that wanted to escape me. "Sammy? Sam! Hey, listen to me. We're gonna patch you up, okay? You'll be good as new. Huh?" Sam could barely keep his head up. "I'm gonna take care of you. I'm gonna take care of you. I got you. It's my job, right? Watch out for my pain-in-the-ass little brother." Sam's eyes were shut. I put my hand over my mouth. "Sam. Sam. Sam. Sammy!" Sam was gone. "No. No, no, no." Dean pulled Sam against him. Oh, God. Oh, God." I rested my head against Sam's holding him and Dean. "Sam!"

Death is a part of life. I understood this better then anyone. But this was never supposed to happen. I failed. Somehow, I had failed him. I was supposed to be able to see things. Supposed to be able to stop them from happening. I didn't want to but I was supposed to. Despite where I got it from I should have seen this coming. The big picture. What yellow-eyes had planned for Sam. And now Sam was gone. He was gone. Dean laid him on a bed in one of the houses. He refused to leave the ghost town. Leaving meant having to deal with reality. There had to be a way to fix it all. To change it. Sam didn't deserve this. I would give anything for Dean not to have to go through this. He was immediately distant. He was eating away at himself. Sam was his responsibility. But he was mine. Dean wasn't alone. He didn't have to be. But he managed to push Bobby away. He left, leaving Dean and me with Sam. I wouldn't go away. I wouldn't leave. He needed me. Even if he didn't want me right now. He needed me.


	33. Epilogue

_**Chapter Thirty-three: Epilogue**_

The shock of what happened was still fresh in my system. Dean stood in the doorway from the room where Sam lay. He was quiet. But there wasn't a lot to say. There was nothing I could say to comfort him. There was nothing that could be said to comfort me. The tears had stopped but the pain seemed to intensify. My eyes were red and dry. My throat hoarse. Everything ached. I looked at Dean. His stance looked defeated. He _was _defeated. In his mind he had failed. He didn't need to tell me that for me to know. I stood and went to him, wrapping my arms around his waist, resting my head against his back. He put his hand over mine, his head hanging low.

"You need to rest." I told him gently.

"I'm fine." He told me.

"Please, for me?" I asked squeezing him harder.

"I can't. Not yet." He said turning to me. He took my head in his hands, placing a long kiss on my forehead. "But you should rest. I think there's another room over there." He said pointing.

"I can't sleep. It keeps replaying." I told him.

"I know." He said and led me to the table behind us. "Just try and relax." He said sitting me in the chair.

"Okay." I said putting my elbows on the table, my face in my hands.

He kissed my hair before I heard him walk back to the doorway. I looked at him as I folded my arms on the table, resting my head on them. I watched him, my eyes getting heavy. I didn't mean to fall asleep but it came to me. Beautiful blackness where no dreams showed me my worst fears. When I opened my eyes Dean wasn't in the doorway. I frowned and slowly got up from the chair. I was halfway to the door when I heard him talking.

"…I always tried to protect you. Keep you safe. Dad didn't even have to tell me. It was just always my responsibility, you know? It's like I had one job. That one job. And I screwed it up. I blew it." He told his brother. I could hear the quiver in his voice. Tears came to my eyes as I listened to him. "And for that, I'm sorry. I guess that's what I do. I let down the people I love. I let Dad down. I let Evy down. And now, I guess I'm just supposed to let you down too." He was wrong. I shook my head as tears streamed. "How can I? How am I supposed to live with that? What am I supposed to do? Sammy. What am I supposed to do? What am I supposed to do!" He yelled and appeared from the room.

He stopped when he saw me before rushing from the house. "Dean." I said following him. "Dean!" I yelled but he was already running through the woods. "Dean!" I yelled again but he didn't falter. "God help us." I said as I went back into the house. I went into the room and collapsed next to Sam. I wrapped my arm around him, resting my head on his chest. "You can't leave, Sam. Dean needs you more then you'll ever know. I need you. How did this happen?" I sobbed into him. "I love you, Sammy." I whispered before completely breaking down. I sobbed into him until sleep was inevitable.

_The images were jagged. Nothing flowed. Dean was at a crossroads. It flashed, broken, as he looked for the demon. She appeared, her red eyes showing her for what she really was. I couldn't focus. There was no sound, only pictures. Dean looked even more distraught then before. The seen started to spin. It was all unfocused. I tried but the harder I tried the worse the scene seemed to become. It finally stopped and the scene slowed, showing Dean kissing the demon._

It wasn't the vision that woke me up. It was Sam. He gasped, flying up. I flew back against the wall, staring at him unbelievingly. I frowned, my vision coming full circle. _Dean, what did you do?_

"Evy." Sam said looking at me.

"Sammy." I said breathlessly before rushing to him. I threw my arms around his neck, hugging him as tightly as I could. "Oh, God. Sammy."

"Uh, Evy?" Sam said.

"Yeah?" I asked.

"Ouch." He replied.

"Oh, sorry." I said letting him go. I took his head in my hands. I couldn't help the tears that were running down my cheeks as I smiled at him.

"Hey." He said gently wiping them away. "What is it?"

I laughed and shook my head. "It's nothing. I'm just glad to see you awake."

"Have I been out for a while?" He asked.

"Long enough." I told him, caressing his cheek with my thumb.

He moved to the edge of the bed. It was clear that his body hurt. "Hey, take it easy." I told him pushing him back.

"I'm fine." Sam said trying to fight against me.

"You're too weak to fight me so just relax." I told him.

He sighed but laid back down. I sat on the bed next to him. I held his hand in one of mine while running my fingers through his hair with the other.

"You had us worried there for a while." I told him, trying to keep my cool.

"Good thing I'm fine." Sam told me.

I gave him a small smile before leaning forward, kissing his forehead. "Yeah, you are."

He looked at me as more tears started to blur my vision. "I must have really scared you." He frowned at me.

I pushed my tears away, trying to sound normal. "What makes you say that?"

"Because you don't normally look at me like that. You don't hover over me this bad even when I'm hurt." He replied.

I smiled and nodded, wiping a few more tears away. "Yeah, well, it was pretty touch and go for a while. Besides, you know I hate seeing you hurt." I said putting my hand on his chest.

"I'm okay." He said sitting up again.

"Rest." I told him.

"I'm okay, really." He insisted. "Where's Dean?"

"He went out for a little while. He should be back any time now." I told him.

"He went out?" He asked slightly surprised.

I raised a brow at him. "He trusts me to watch over you." He smiled. "Besides, I'm the other half to his Velcro. I watch out for you when he's not around. It's part of my job." I smiled taking his hand in mine. He smiled back, twisting toward me, wincing with pain. "Let me see." I told him, lifting his shirt. The skin was red but the wound was gone. I ran my fingers across it.

"How's it look?" He asked.

"You're fine." I smiled at him.

"Good." He smiled back. "I heard you, you know." He told me with a smile.

"What do you mean?" I frowned at him.

"When I woke up in the ghost town. I woke up to your voice saying my name."

"You did?" I said and smiled at little. He nodded. "I tried using our shared power to try and reach you. I didn't know if it worked or not."

"It did." He smiled taking my hand. "Stay safe. Fight." I smiled, tears running down my cheeks. "It helped. Glad to know I wasn't going crazy."

I laughed and wiped the tears away. "I just wanted you to know you weren't alone." I said putting my hand on his cheek.

"Thanks." He smiled sweetly.

I was just taking him in when the door opened and Dean came into view. We stood and I just looked at him. Dean glanced at me before staring at his brother.

"Sammy? Thank God." He said as he looked at him.

"Hey." Sam smiled.

Dean rushed forward and embraced his brother. I smiled at them before slipping out of the room. I paced momentarily before rushing from the house. I vomited over the railing. The tears came hot and fast. I stepped backward until I felt the wall, sinking to the ground. I pulled my knees up, sobbing into them. When the coughing fits stopped and my nose was dry I listened to the quiet talking inside. Hearing the difference in Dean already. His brother was back. I couldn't be more thrilled but at the same time, what Dean did was wrong.

I stayed outside for quite some time. I wanted to let them have some alone time and I wasn't ready to be with them just yet. I was content to be alone at the moment. Hearing the door, I looked up to see Dean. I frowned, closing my eyes.

"Hey, you okay?" He asked walking over to me.

I stood and faced him. I just looked at him before slapping him, covering my mouth as more tears fell. I was shaking, hating him so much. "How could you do it?" I asked him.

"What?" He frowned.

"How could you make that deal?" I told him, starting to sob.

"How did you know?" He said lowering his eyes.

"I saw it, Dean. How could you do it?" I asked him angrily.

"Because I had to watch out for Sammy, that's why." He frowned at me. "I couldn't let him die."

I nodded. I understood his reasons. I didn't want to blame him. But I didn't want to lose him either. "How long do you have?" I asked him more calmly. He just looked at me. "Dean, how long?"

"One year." He told me sadly.

Tears welled in my eyes. "One year?" I said breathlessly.

"I had to do it." He said putting his hands on my arms.

Anger started to come to the surface. "Did you think of me when you made this decision?" I asked him hotly.

"Evy, please." He said his face dropping.

"No!" I yelled pushing his arms off of me. "What am I supposed to do? What is the point of this-" I said taking off my ring, showing it to him. "If you're rotting in Hell?"

"Don't, baby, please." He pleaded.

"You might as well keep it now." I said dropping it at his feet. "You're leaving me. I know I left you." I said as tears streamed. "I know I hurt you but that was an accident. You _intentionally _made a deal with a demon. Selling your _soul_ to bring Sam back. I'm not saying that I'm not happy that he's not dead. But why do you have to die? You're intentionally leaving me. You're leaving me. How am I supposed to deal with that?" I said and stormed away from him.

He ran after me, sliding in front of me. "Please…" He said holding up my ring.

"No." I said shaking my head.

"You can't do this. Not today." He said closing his eyes.

"Not today?" I frowned at him. "I don't give a fuck what day it is. Why would I take that ring back? Why? When you'll be dead in a year. Do you want to make me a widow?" I asked him.

"Evy…" He said softly.

"Don't bother, Dean." I said shaking my head at him. "I'm sorry. It's over. There's no point anymore." I walked around him.

He grabbed my wrist. "Don't do this." He pleaded. "I need you."

"You need me?" I frowned. "How do you need me? You didn't need me to sell your soul."

"Don't be like this." He told me. "You know what you mean to me."

"Do I?" I replied softly. "Maybe I did. But I'm not so sure anymore." I told him before heading back through the woods.

"Where are you going?" He yelled after me. "We need to talk this through."

"I'm hitchhiking! And we've talked enough!" I yelled back at him.

Once the town was out of site I couldn't hold back the sobs that were jumping in my throat. I slid down the trunk of a tree, bringing up my knees, sobbing into them. When the sobs stopped I got to my feet and walked the rest of the way to the road. I called Bobby and waited till his truck pulled up in front of me. I didn't say anything, just got in. I was quiet all the way to his house. He wore a worried expression but I ignored it, not wanting to talk yet. I cried off and on till we reached the house. I got out first, going in and immediately to the books. We weren't sure what we were looking for but I would do anything to keep my mind off of Dean.

"So, what happened?" Bobby asked me gently.

"I don't want to talk about it." I told him flatly.

"Did Dean bury him?" He asked.

I looked at him before shaking my head. "We had a fight. I couldn't stay there anymore."

"Everything okay?"

"No." I told him and took a book into the next room.

* * *

It was several hours later when there was a knock on the door. My stomach dropped and my pulse started to race. I closed the book and listened to Bobby's surprised voice when he saw Sam. I'm sure he was already putting the pieces together. I stood, waiting for them to come into view. Sam came in first. He smiled at me. I smiled back, hugging him tightly. Dean stayed back, barely able to meet my eyes. I waited for Sam to get distracted before glaring at Dean, turning to his brother.

"We've been rechecking for demonic omens." I told Sam. "When you went missing there was nothing. Now there's something."

"And what did you find?" Sam asked.

"A lot. Bobby has it all." I replied.

"So, what do you know?" Dean asked as I heard Bobby come back.

"Well, I found something. But I'm not sure what the hell it means." He replied.

"What is it?" Sam asked.

"Demonic omens. Like a frigging tidal wave. Cattle deaths, lightning storms. They've skyrocketed from out of nowhere. Here." He said pulling out a map. He circled Wyoming with his finger. "All around here. Except for one place. Southern Wyoming."

"Wyoming?" Dean said looking at him.

"Didn't he just say that?" I said under my breath. He looked at me, a hurt look crossing his face.

"Yeah, that one area's totally clean. Spotless. It's almost as if…" He said and stopped.

"What?" Sam asked.

"The demons are surrounding it." I finished.

"But you don't know why?" Dean asked, looking at me. I averted my eyes.

Bobby noticed but went on. "No, and by this point my eyes are swimming. Sam, would you take a look at it? Maybe you can catch something I couldn't."

"Yeah. Sure." Sam said bending over the map and notes.

"Come on, Dean. I got some more books in the truck. Help me lug them in." He told him. "You too, Evy."

"Yeah." Dean said following him.

I sighed and looked at Sam before following the other two out. Bobby led us into the junkyard, away from earshot of the house. I stayed several steps behind Dean. When Bobby decided we had gone far enough he turned and faced Dean.

"You stupid ass! What did you do? What did you do!" He yelled. I jumped, taking a step back. Dean just averted his eyes. "You made a deal. For Sam, didn't you? How long they give you?"

"Bobby." Dean said sadly.

"How long!" He yelled.

"One year."

"Damn it, Dean." He said sadly. Tears were in my eyes, my throat clenching.

"Which is why we gotta find this yellow-eyed son of a bitch. That's why I'm gonna kill him myself. I mean, I got nothing to lose now, right?" Dean said with a small smile. I scoffed behind him, shaking my head. He glanced at me before looking back at Bobby.

Bobby grabbed his shirt yelling, "I could throttle you!"

"What, and send me downstairs ahead of schedule?" Dean said sadly.

"Damn you." I whispered behind him.

"What is it with you Winchesters, huh? You, your dad, you're both just itching to throw yourselves down the pit." Bobby told him.

"That's my point. Dad brought me back, Bobby. I'm not even supposed to be here. At least this way, something good can come out of it, you know. Like my life can mean something." Dean replied.

"Dean…" I said shakily.

"What, and it didn't before? Have you got that low an opinion of yourself? Are you that screwed in the head?" Bobby shot at him.

"I couldn't let him die, Bobby. I couldn't. He's my brother."

"How's your brother gonna to feel when he finds out you're going to hell? How'd you feel when you knew your dad went for you?"

"You can't tell him. You can take a shot at me, whatever you gotta do. But please don't tell him." Dean told him pleadingly.

"And what about her?" Bobby said pointing at me. "What do you expect her to do now? You made her a promise. You gave her a ring and you decided to just throw it away?"

"I don't have a ring anymore." I told him flatly.

"What?" Bobby said looking at me.

"What's the point?" I shrugged at him.

"What's the point? You're just as screwed in the head as he is." He told me angrily. "You two are made for each other. You are going to get past this."

"And how the hell do you expect us to do that?" I asked him coldly. "He's going to _Hell,_ Bobby. Why would I marry him when he's going to be dead in a year?"

"Because you love each other!" Bobby shot at us.

"That hasn't changed." I told him calmly. "I'm just not strong enough." I said and walked away.

The chain link fence moved and I was grabbed from behind. I was against Dean. I unconsciously put my hand on his thigh. He held me against him briefly before moving me behind him. His gun was cocked and ready. I took the other from the back of his jeans. As the intruder came closer Bobby moved forward, Dean following. I was only a few seconds behind, hearing them grab whoever it was. Tears immediately came to my eyes as I watched Dean embrace Ellen.

"Ellen? Ellen. Oh, God." Dean told her.

"Ellen." I said with relief as I embraced her next. "Are you okay?" I asked her.

She had tears in her eyes. I nodded and put my arm around her, leading her back to the house. We sat her at the table, Bobby sitting across from her. All eyes were on her. She had survived the Roadhouse fire. It was suspicious and yet relieving all at the same time.

"Bobby, is this really necessary?" Ellen asked.

"It's just a belt of holy water. Shouldn't hurt." Bobby told her.

Ellen frowned at him before downing the shot. Nothing happened. She was really Ellen.

"Whiskey now, if you don't mind." She said sliding the shot glass back to Bobby. I sighed, going and sitting next to her.

"Ellen, what happened? How'd you get out?" Dean asked.

"We saw the Roadhouse." I told her sadly.

"I wasn't supposed to. I was supposed to be in there with everybody else. But we ran out of pretzels, of all things. Was just dumb luck. Anyway, that's when Ash called, panic in his voice. He told me to look in the safe. Then the call cut out. By the time I got back, the flames were sky high. Everybody was dead. I couldn't have been gone more than 15 minutes." She said, her voice shaky.

"Sorry, Ellen." Sam told her sadly.

"Lot of good people died in there. And I got to live. Lucky me." She said but you could see the survivor's guilt in her eyes. I put my hand on her arm.

"Ellen, you mentioned a safe." Bobby stated.

"A hidden safe we keep in the basement." Ellen told him.

"Demons get what was in it?"

"No." She replied taking out a map with five X's in a circle formation. She handed the map to Dean.

"Wyoming?" He said looking at her. "What does that mean?" He asked referring to the X's.

Bobby got a quizzical look on his face before walking off. We all sat there, tension filling the air.

"I don't believe it." Bobby said coming back.

"What, you got something?" Sam asked.

"A lot more then that. Each of these Xs is an abandoned frontier church, all mid-19th century. And all of them built by Samuel Colt." He told us.

"Samuel Colt? The demon-killing, gun-making Samuel Colt?" Dean asked.

"Yup. And there's more. He built private railway lines connecting church to church. That just happened to lay out like this." He said connecting the X's, forming a pentagram.

"Tell me that's not what I think it is." Dean said looking at it.

"Holy shit." I said leaning toward the map.

"It's a Devil's Trap. A hundred-square-mile Devil's Trap." Sam smiled.

"That's brilliant. Iron lines, demons can't cross."

"It's more then brilliant. That's bloody fantastic." I smiled at Dean. He smiled back but I averted my eyes, my smile gone. I heard him sigh but I looked at his brother.

"I never heard of anything that massive." Ellen frowned.

"No one has." Bobby stated.

"All these years none of the lines have broken? I mean, it still works?" Dean asked.

"Definitely." Sam answered.

"How do you know?" Dean told him with raised brows.

"All those omens Bobby found. I mean, the demons, they must be circling and they can't get in." Sam told him.

"Yeah, well, they're trying." Bobby added.

"Why? What's inside?" Ellen asked.

"That's what I've been looking for. And, uh, there's nothing except an old cowboy cemetery right in the middle." Dean said pointing to it. I nodded, having done the same research myself.

"Why? What's so important about a cemetery? What's Colt trying to protect?" Sam asked.

"Well, unless-" Dean said thoughtfully.

"Unless what?" Bobby asked.

"What if Colt wasn't trying to keep demons out? What if he was keeping something in?" Dean replied.

"Now that's a comforting thought." Ellen said sarcastically.

"Yeah, you think?" Dean scoffed.

"Could they do it, Bobby? Could they get inside?" Sam asked.

"This thing's so powerful you'd practically need an A-bomb to destroy it. No way a full-blood demon gets across." Bobby replied.

"No. But I know who could."

* * *

I was lying on the hood of one of the cars toward the back of the junkyard. I was away from everyone while they prepared. I should have been helping but I needed a little alone time. Constantly seeing Dean was more painful than anything I've felt before. I had said the words I never thought I would. _It's over._ The words echoed in my head. I closed my eyes, tears running from the corners. I sat up when I heard footsteps approaching. I relaxed, sighing, when Dean came into view.

"Please go away." I told him softly as I wiped the tears away.

"You don't mean that." He said standing in front of the car, his hands in his pockets.

"I wish I did." I said looking at him.

"What can I do to make this better?" He asked.

"There is nothing you can do." I said shaking my head. "You can't take it back. There's no stopping it now." He nodded. "Sam will die, wont he?" I asked. "If you try and get out of it. He'll die again." He nodded again. "So…I, uh…" I said but I didn't know what to say to him.

He sighed and sat on the hood next to me. He put his hand out toward me. I took it, leaning against him, my head on his shoulder. I closed my eyes, my brows furrowed. "I didn't mean for this to happen. I didn't want to make that deal. I thought I…_we_…would have ten years. We'd have ten years and we would be happy. Plenty of time to come to terms with it. You wouldn't have had to know. But she wouldn't give me ten. She would only give me one." I sniffled but didn't say anything. "I need to make this right. I don't want things to change. I love you. I _need _you. But you were right when you said that I didn't want to make you a widow. I don't. That's the last thing I want. But I don't want this back either." He said pulling my ring from his pocket. "I made you a promise. I will hold to that promise."

"But you're going to Hell, Dean." I told him, barely above a whisper. "I have one year left with you. Our record for good years isn't exactly high."

He smiled. "The past year hasn't been bad." He told me.

I couldn't help but smile back. "Sure. I died and was brought back. Dug myself out of my own grave with no memory of who I was. Sam is immune to a demonic disease, died, and was brought back. We were nearly married but on our wedding day you were shot and would have died if it hadn't been for a witch. And we can't forget our son. Our baby was stabbed and killed while still in the womb. Not to mention all the demons, ghosts, and everything else we fight. Does that sound like a good year?" I said looking up at him.

He rested his head against mine. "We survived it. We survived it together."

"Until I backed out at the very end." I told him sadly.

"I know you didn't mean it. You were upset and scared." He replied.

"I'm still upset and scared."

"But you love me."

I looked at him. "I really, really do."

"Can I put this back on you yet?" He asked holding the ring next to my hand.

I sighed and looked at him. "Yes please." He smiled and slipped it back onto my ring finger. "I have to admit. I've felt pretty naked without it."

"I love you." He said kissing my forehead.

"I love you too." I said wrapping my arms around his neck. "I don't want to lose you." I whispered.

"I don't want to leave you." He said caressing the back of my head. "But you understand why I did what I did."

"I do. I just wish you would have talked to me first." I told him.

"You wouldn't have let me do it."

"No."

He pulled me away from him, resting his hands on the sides of my head. He kissed me passionately. I leaned into him as I grabbed his hair in my hand. He rolled on top of me, laying me back on the hood. His hand moved to my waist. I undid my pants before pulling off his button-up, followed by his t-shirt. He pulled my pants off before my shirt, his hand running down my body before he undid his pants, positioning himself. He rocked against me. I groaned, gripping his back, my fingers indenting his skin. We kissed continuously, only breaking for air. His lips trailed up my neck, the feeling making me quiver. We were sweaty and tired by the time we were done. Both of us half naked, we laid in each others arms.

"Wow." I smiled at him.

"I have to say that that was some pretty good make up sex." Dean grinned at me. I couldn't help but laugh. "Do you feel a little better now?"

I nodded, "Yeah." I ran my hand across his bare chest. "If we do that every night, a year might be enough."

He laughed and kissed my hair. "I spose we should be getting back."

"Maybe, before they come looking for us." I smiled and slid off of the car.

After tracking down our clothes we returned to the house, hand in hand. Everyone was getting ready to head out. We needed to get to Wyoming before Jake arrived. Sam filled in the rest of us about what had happened in Cold Oak. It was shocking. Sam had told me of Ava. I had been there when she disappeared. But hearing that she was murdering people with her abilities was unnerving. Sam and I had the same ability she did. We could learn to do the same things. It wasn't a happy thought. I didn't want to turn evil. I didn't want to be any sort of soldier. The only comfort I had was that the demon was concentrating on Sam's generation. So far mine was going unnoticed.

"You two make up?" Ellen asked us.

"Yeah." I smiled and helped pack up the cars.

We were on our way as soon as possible. The sun was already starting to set when we finally arrived. The cemetery was quiet. It appeared that we had beaten Jake. We went through the cemetery before taking our places out of site. I was with Dean, hiding among headstones, foliage, and fences.

"Did you really mean it?" He whispered.

"Mean what?" I whispered back.

"That we made up?"

"Of course." I frowned at him.

"Okay. Just making sure." He smiled at me.

"But that doesn't mean I'm not still mad at you." I told him. "I'm going to have low moments and you're going to have to be there. I want to spend every minute with you since I know you're leaving me."

"Evy, I'll always be there for you. It doesn't matter where I am." He said gently caressing my face.

I smiled and kissed him sweetly. But my smile faded when we heard footsteps. Jake made it to the cemetery. We waited, watching as he came forward. He walked up to the large mausoleum in the center of the cemetery. It had a pentagram shape with a hole in the middle. He held the colt. It appeared to be the key to opening it. Sam was the first to move.

"Howdy, Jake." Sam told him. The rest of us came out of our hiding places, all our guns raised.

"Oh, you." Jake said, shocked to see Sam. "You were dead. I killed you."

"Yeah? Well, next time finish the job." Sam shot at him. I frowned, looking at Sam.

"I did. I cut clean through your spinal cord, man. You can't be alive. You can't be." Jake told him.

"Okay. Just take it real easy there, son." Bobby told him.

"And if I don't?" Jake replied.

"Wait and see." Sam told him coldly.

"What, you a tough guy all of a sudden? What are you gonna go? Kill me?" Jake asked.

"It's a thought." Sam replied.

"You had your chance. You couldn't." Jake said shaking his head.

"I won't make that mistake twice." Sam told him.

I looked at Sam. I wanted to embrace him. I wanted to hold him and tell him everything would be alright. He deserved the truth. He shouldn't find out from this monster. My thoughts were interrupted when Jake started laughing

"What are you smiling at, you little bitch?" Dean asked him coldly.

"Hey, ladies. Do me a favor. Point your gun at each others head." Jake told Ellen and me. I started to shake when I couldn't control my actions. My arm turned, forcing me to point my gun at Ellen. "See, that Ava girl was right. Once you give into it, there's all sorts of new Jedi Mind Tricks you can learn."

"Let them go." Sam told him.

"Shoot him." Ellen told him.

"Do it." I replied as I looked at Dean.

"You'll be mopping up skull before you get a shot off. Everybody put your guns down. Except you, sweetheart. And you." Jake said with a grin. I watched as the three men dropped their guns. "Okay, thank you." Jake said slowly turning back toward the mausoleum.

There was only a few minutes delay before Jake rushed forward. He pushed the colt into the hole and turned it. I could feel my finger starting to pull the trigger. I closed my eyes and just as the gun went off my arm was forced up into the air. I opened my eyes, breathing hard. Dean smiled at me. Smiling back, I put my hand on his chest. While Dean and Bobby saved Ellen and I, Sam grabbed his gun shooting Jake several times in the back. We all faced them as Jake pleaded for his life. Sam's face grew hard and he shot Jake to death. We moved forward, Dean removing the Colt from the door.

"Oh, no." Bobby said worriedly.

"Bobby, what is it?" Ellen frowned at him.

"It's hell. Take cover! Now!" He yelled, already running for cover.

I followed Dean. Launching myself over a headstone just as the doors burst open. The sky filled with black smoke as demons, ghosts, and ghouls escaped from Hell.

"What the hell just happened?" Dean asked over the noise.

"That's a Devil's Gate, a damn door to Hell." Ellen replied. "Come on, we gotta shut that gate." She said moving from behind the stone.

I followed her. Bobby and I took one side while Sam and Ellen took the other. Even with the four of us the doors barely moved. I noticed Dean wasn't with us. I looked for him just in time to see him thrown through the air. Azazel had made his appearance. Sam yelled out to his brother and left the doors. I wanted to rush to help too, but Sam had it covered. As Sam approached them the demon pinned him against a tree.

"Dean! Sammy!" I yelled but couldn't leave. The doors needed to be shut.

Bobby, Ellen, and I strained against the doors. The noise was immense as the beings from Hell continued to escape. From the corner of my eye I saw someone launch themselves at the demon. I turned my head to see John Winchester struggling with the black form of the demon. It was a short struggle before John was thrown back. The demon returned to its vessel. He stood and looked down at Dean. He had the colt in his hand, aimed and ready. He glared at the demon before shooting him in the heart, killing him. Bobby, Ellen, and I finally managed to get the doors shut. I turned back in time to see John walking up to Dean. I moved forward, unable to stay back. John put his hand on Dean's shoulder, smiling at him. All of them had tears in their eyes. I did too as I beheld the image. John looked over at Sam who nodded at his father. John smiled and nodded in return. By this time I was next to Dean. I looked at John. He smiled and put his hand on my cheek. He took my hand and Dean's, putting mine in his. Dean and my eyes met before we looked back at John. He smiled wider, nodding, before he stepped back. His form flickered before he disappeared. I leaned into Dean, letting my tears fall. I looked at the brothers. They too had tears on their cheeks. We all took deep breaths, recovering from what just happened. We turned back to the body the demon had been possessing.

"Well, check that off the to-do list." Dean smiled at his brother.

"You did it." Sam smiled back.

"I didn't do it alone." Dean stated.

I put my arm around his waist. He kissed my hair before looking back down at the body. "It's finally over."

"Do you think Dad really-? You think he really climbed out of Hell?" Sam asked.

"A door was open. If anyone's stubborn enough to do it…it'd be him." Dean smiled.

"He always thought he could." I smiled at Sam.

"Where do you think he is now?" Sam asked.

"I don't know." Dean replied.

"I think he's in heaven with your mom." I smiled. "We know there's something after death. He's in a better place."

"I kind of can't believe it, Dean. I mean-. Our whole lives, everything, has been prepping for this. And now, I-. I kind of don't know what to say." Sam said shaking his head.

"I do." Dean said bending down, looking at the face of the man. "That was for our mom. You son of a bitch."

He stood, taking my hand. I smiled and we made our way back to the car. We came and did what we needed to do. Demons were released but the demon was dead. I ran my fingers along the Impala and reached for the handle. Dean was behind me. I stopped though, when Sam frowned, stopping a few feet from the car.

"You know, when Jake saw me it was like he saw a ghost. I mean, hell, you heard him, Dean. He said he killed me." Sam stated.

"Sammy…" I said looking at him sadly.

"Glad he was wrong." Dean replied.

"I don't think he was, Dean. What happened? After I was stabbed?" Sam asked.

"I already told you." Dean replied.

"Not everything." Sam replied.

"Sam, we just killed the demon? Can we celebrate for a minute?" Dean asked. He sounded angry but he didn't want to be.

"Did I die?" Sam asked him.

"Oh, come on." Dean frowned.

"Did you sell your soul for me? Like Dad did for you?" Sam asked him.

"Oh, come on. No." Dean said angrily.

"Tell me the truth." Sam told him. Dean didn't say anything. "Dean, tell me the truth."

"Sam." Dean said sadly.

"Sammy…" I said softly.

"You knew." He said looking at me. I nodded. "You didn't say anything."

"What was I supposed to say?" I asked him.

"You should have told me." He replied. I didn't say anything. "How long you get?" Sam asked Dean.

"One year. I got one year."

"You shouldn't have done that. How could you do that?" Sam asked angrily.

"Don't get mad a me. Don't you do that. I had to. I had to look out for you. That's my job." Dean replied forlornly.

"And what do you think my job is?" Sam asked.

"And mine." I added.

"What?" Dean asked.

"You saved my life over and over. I mean, you sacrifice everything for me. Don't you think I'd do the same for you? You're my big brother. There's nothing I wouldn't do for you. And I don't care what it takes. I'm gonna get you out of this. Guess I gotta save your ass for a change." Sam said with a small smile.

"Yeah." Dean smiled back.

"We'll do it together." I added with a smile.

"Well…the Yellow-Eyed demon might be dead but a lot more got through that gate." Ellen stated.

"That ruined the moment." I smiled at her.

"How many you think?" Dean asked.

"A hundred? Maybe 200. It's an army. He's unleashed an army." Sam replied.

"Hope to hell you boys are ready. Because the war's just begun." Bobby told them.

"And girl." I frowned at him.

"And girl." Bobby replied shaking his head.

"Well, then…" Dean said throwing his gun into the trunk. "We got work to do." He said and grinned at his brother.

I couldn't help but laugh. The demon was dead, Sam was alive, and we had one year to defeat the army that was unleashed. It was going to be hard. It was going to be long. But we could do it. We would be able to rid the world of as much evil as we could. But with the good came the sorrow. I couldn't begin to imagine my life without Dean, but I couldn't truly be angry with him. I would have done the same thing. The last thing I wanted was to lose Dean. But I didn't have a choice. I would have to make the best of the time we had left. Knowing what would happen if we tried to get Dean out of his deal, made any optimism dissolve. I had to face the fact that in a year's time it would be just me and Sammy. Life would have to go on without him. My life would have to go on without him. But that aside, Dean was right. We did have work to do.

THE END

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**And there you have it! The end of Season 2 of my Supernatural fanfictions! Season 3 is already set to go. Let's see who reviews and perhaps I'll post the third within the next few days. =]**


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